Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Guess who she is.
Guess who she is.
Suddenly, she heard a moan, which made people feel so sad. She couldn't help looking up in the direction where the voice was flying. It turned out that a puppy was resting under another big tree. She stood up and went forward to have a look. Wow, what a cute, furry body and short legs, right? Why is this leg ... this leg is red-the puppy's leg is hurt! At that time, she was just watching this scene, but the two "I's" in her mind were engaged in a fierce "war of words". A "I" dressed in white said, "Come on, answer quickly and cure it!" "How come! Haven't you heard that clean mom has said it dozens of times? Stop carrying small animals home! It is not enough to have a kitten! Are you still like this, not afraid of your mother's' bamboo shoots and fried meat'? " Another "I" dressed in black said that I was scared, but that didn't make me a self-indulgent person. Look, how pitiful this puppy is, looking at you eagerly. Don't you have any sympathy? "Another person was speechless. That's settled! She resolutely took the poor puppy home. When I got home, my mother happened to be sitting in the living room watching TV. As soon as my mother saw the puppy, her face suddenly turned sunny and cloudy, and she said sharply, "Look at you, it's not enough to have a kitten, and you even brought back a dirty puppy, making trouble!" "Take it out quickly and don't dirty the floor I just mopped!" "Why are you so heartless! Can't you see that the puppy is hurt? Can't you see how pathetic this puppy is? You ... how can you be so cruel! " Say that finish, he rushed into the room, slammed the door and quietly stopped bleeding and healed the dog. ...
In a blink of an eye, a week passed and the dog's injury healed.
Now, you can see her and the dog playing happily under that big tree almost every afternoon.
Guess what? That little girl is-me.
Guess who he (she) is. Hello, everyone. Today, I drafted a draft for my appearance. Let's see if we can know who I am.
My eyes are phoenix eyes, of moderate size. Although I am a little nearsighted, I am still very sensitive. The face is fat, but the smile is decent, and I have never piled meat. My nose is thin, my nostrils are big, and my sense of smell is very sensitive. Because of this feature, every time grandpa wants to cook, I will smell the obvious oil smell when he heats the oil. My mouth is small, but my memory is great. I remember once I stuffed a big meatball made by my grandfather.
If you haven't guessed, take a look at the following!
I am particularly brave in my class. I remember once I lost my tooth and lost a lot of blood. My classmate was about to tell the teacher, but I refused. I said, "What kind of blood is this? I am not a coward. " The deskmate said, "Du Xinyi, a man and a woman, really deserves her reputation." I pretended to wipe my teeth with paper and glared at my deskmate. I wrapped my teeth in paper and put them in my pocket. Later, because he talked too much, I ignored him for half a month. Later, I changed my deskmate, and as a result, he loved to tease me more.
But I am timid at home, and our toilet is dark. Therefore, you have to be accompanied when you go to the toilet at night, so you are often teased by your mother: "Aren't you very brave?" How to be a coward at home? "One night, I got up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, because the signboard of the shop opposite had not turned off the lights, and the lights reflected my shadow and came at me like a ghost, which made me tremble all over. As soon as I saw it, I immediately shouted "Ah" and stood there stupidly, so there was a scene of my mother teasing.
My ideal is to be a criminal policeman. People say that eating moon cakes is the dream of criminal police. But I never dreamed of Interpol. If I can dream of eating one box, I would like to eat two boxes. Now I am training table tennis. Although I am attracted by the coach of the sports bureau, I always refuse. Because I'm going to be a criminal policeman, I'm also doing Olympic math problems and reading reasoning books now, because my brain will turn faster when I solve crimes in the future.
Speaking of which, it's time for me to announce my name. My name is Du Xinyi, and I am Du Xinyi, an elf who never dares to take the next step. My surname is Du, which makes me very moved and honored. Du Kang, Du Fu and Du Mu are all my homes. Why do you call me "Du Xinyi"? That's because my family wants me to be happy and integrate into this society!
Guess who he (she) is. He is humorous, naughty and helpful ... follow me to see his style!
Ding was out of school, and the students cheered happily, like a group of birds trying to fly back to their nests. But he sat in the classroom with his cheeks in his hands and said slowly, "Oh, dear! Gorky said very well,' books are still medicine, and good reading can cure fools.' Ah! "Ha ha! Isn't he funny?
Class is over, and you listen to how lively the corridor is-"Ah! The naughty king is coming! " We ran and shouted. I saw that his hands were covered with white ash, and anyone who was caught had to put white ash on his face. The last classmate couldn't see him, fell into his clutches and was destroyed by him. Alas! He is so naughty!
I am a representative of Chinese class, and I have to run around the building with my homework every day. Once, I recited two piles of homework, and my feet were as heavy as lead. I happened to meet him. When he saw me, he immediately said enthusiastically, "I'll help!" " "I was suddenly surprised. I didn't expect him to be so enthusiastic when he was naughty. I sincerely said to him, "Thank you! " "
He is so naughty and humorous, and so warm-hearted and lovely. Have you guessed who he is?
Guess who he (she) is. I have a good friend. He has a Zhang Yuanyuan face, red and looks like an apple. He also has eyes like grapes and some pimples on his face. He is tall and stands straight like a soldier. He is very handsome.
His eyelashes are neither short nor short, and his hair is neither short nor short, but every winter, he wears thick clothes and shoes. When we asked him if he was hot, he said no, but it was still cold. We all wonder, wearing such thick clothes, we are all very hot, how can he say cold? He walks like a penguin with a flash.
He is one of my friends. He is my best friend. Every time I encounter difficulties, he helps me solve them. He is also one of the best students in our class. He also likes reading very much. Every time he plays some jokes between our classmates, we lose our mind to play games. We all listen to his jokes again and laugh until our stomachs ache.
His hobby is playing basketball, but I am also good at basketball. I teach him some skills every time.
He is my best friend. Please guess who he is.
Guess who he (she) is. Look, that girl is really strange. She moves quickly at school and acts like a turtle at home.
She likes drawing cartoons. She thinks she is the first in the class. I didn't expect everyone to say that her paintings are uglier than those of a baby of 1 year. She loves to cry, as long as she falls. Her grades are not very good. Sometimes she doesn't listen carefully in class and seldom takes the initiative to speak. Her father often educates her.
She likes playing computer. Her mother told her to stop playing computer all the time and study more. She always turns a deaf ear to what her mother says. She seldom gets more than 90% in exams, and feels that she can't compare with others.
She also likes to pretend to be cute. As long as others are happy, she will always say a few words of coquetry, sometimes not only coquetry, but also pretend to be as cute as a rabbit to cheer up unhappy people.
Do you know who that man is now?
Guess who he (she) is. I have a very good friend and I know him as well as I can.
He has a small head like a watermelon, short black hair, moon-like eyebrows and big eyes under them. He looks very proud!
He is a careless person, and often writes some typos when doing arithmetic. Once he makes a mistake in his homework, he thinks in his seat. After about ten minutes, he still didn't see anything wrong, so he asked me in distress. He said, "Brother, what's wrong with this question? Could it be that the teacher corrected it? " . I looked at this question and couldn't help laughing. He saw me smile and asked, "What's the matter, brother, what are you laughing at?" I pointed to 75 minutes after 3: 75, and he suddenly reacted and said, "thank you, brother." Then he patted me on the shoulder.
His painting level is quite good. Once the teacher chose him to run a blackboard newspaper. I saw him climb to the table in one step and pick up chalk to draw freely on the blackboard. Some are strong, some are light and smooth, and the paintings are as beautiful as they are.
Of course, his calligraphy is also quite good. Everyone calls him "Little Calligrapher"!
He also loves sports very much. He likes playing badminton, football, high jump and long jump. He is an athlete!
His English is very good, and almost every English exam is 100! Therefore, the teacher chose him as an English reader.
His Chinese is also very good. In Chinese class, he sat up straight, listened to the teacher carefully and answered questions actively, so his Chinese performance was good. Because of his good behavior, the teacher elected him monitor.
He also loves to laugh, and he is no exception in class. He smirked when the teacher didn't pay attention. When the teacher looked at him, he immediately became serious.
Well, I have introduced so much, I believe you already know his name! Then say it out loud! I am looking forward to it!
Guess who he (she) is. It is said that there is a wonderful teacher in the temple, who has unparalleled martial arts and is proficient in mathematics and physics. But ask him why he got the title of strange teacher, and listen to me slowly.
He is a thin man, not tall. He is also a short man with a shiny forehead, comparable to a 100 watt light bulb. Even wearing a pair of silver-rimmed glasses can't hide his sharp eyes.
But despite his cold appearance, he is actually a very humorous person. He often uses simple and clear examples to guide us to solve complex problems. In order to let us know which is the dependent variable and which is the independent variable, he used the example of "Is a son like a father or a father like a son" to teach us to understand the relationship between various quantities. In this way, we can often solve problems through laughter.
He is also a famous detective. As long as he has been a student for a day, he knows that copying homework is the most annoying thing at ordinary times. No matter how cunning you are, he can find out. However, he will not arbitrarily conclude that a classmate copied his homework. Only when there is sufficient evidence, will he stare at the students who copied his homework with sharp eyes, and he will not admit that he did copy his homework until the psychological defense of those students completely collapsed. This is also one of his miracles.
He is also a computer expert. He handled several computer strikes that teachers couldn't handle, but in a few seconds, the computer can continue to work.
Hey, what's up? You said nothing? Don't worry, there are still surprises for you!
Whenever we are panting during the big class, we can always see him doing pull-ups on the horizontal bar One, two, three … Yes, it's so neat that all the boys in our class will die of shame.
I don't know if it was God's negligence and forgot to give him the nerve to feel the temperature. He often wears only two thin shirts when it is only four or five degrees outside, which is obviously different from us wrapped in zongzi.
Have you guessed the name of this strange teacher? Well, he is my physics teacher-Zhang Jianfang. Listen, is he weird enough?
Guess who he (she) is. 8 "Peach Blossoms Fly, Burning Its Glory"-The Book of Songs
In fact, it is completely correct to use this sentence to compare her. She is beautiful and generous, quiet and lively. Everyone in our class likes her very much. She is also my good friend in class.
Because I was betrayed by my friends, I cherish our friendship until now, although I had many friends before that.
She is a friend of mine from school. We are lucky to be assigned to Class 1, Grade 7. She is of medium height, with fluffy, dark and plump hair and lovely pink hair bands. She has a distinctive temperament, excellent grades and is more mature and considerate.
Every time I think of her, I think of her diligence and studiousness. As long as I don't understand anything at school, she will take the initiative to answer for me. Even if she has something, she still answers for me. On weekends, studious students will finish their homework carefully and arrive at the cram school on time. Of course, they will also take the time to chat with me, tell me a plot in a book, and also popularize geographical knowledge for me.
At school, whenever she buys something good or knows something, she always shares it with me at the first time. Occasionally, she does nothing in class and plays games under the table. On my birthday, I will wait until zero to send my blessing. Even if I travel abroad, I won't forget to buy me a gift at the airport duty-free shop or souvenir shop.
At that time, I cherished this friendship and have been protecting it. We won't quarrel over a trivial matter. Even so, we will take the initiative to say sorry to each other I also remember the little prince we loved together, or the teacher of Yin and Yang who played together, and went to the children's section of the library to do their homework. She may look nothing special, and it is difficult to see her at a glance in the crowd. She occasionally goes crazy with me, but she studies hard and can't bear to disturb her every time. She has been hovering between the top 50 scores.
She is also good at taking care of people in life. She will comfort me and take care of me when I am sick and uncomfortable. She will send me the homework and lessons I left behind at night. At noon, I thought about what I wanted to buy in the canteen, and then I filled in the rice. ...
She is like a beam of light that brightens my world. She has always made friends with me and learned a lot from her.
Guess who he (she) is. He is neither tall nor short, chubby. Round face has a pair of small but magical eyes. There is a small nose under your eyes, which will become very big when you are angry. There is a glib mouth under the nose. He also has two big ears.
He likes reading very much. Whenever his mother buys him a new book, he can't wait to read it with relish as soon as he gets it. He lost track of time because he was reading a book. His mother found out and quickly put him to bed. Every time he goes to the toilet, he will read a magazine for a while. Every noon, he will go to the playground to run a few laps.
He is ready to help others and likes to help others. When his classmates need help, he always lends a helping hand.
He has a bad habit, that is carelessness. Mother said he was an "egg-laying hen" because he just lost his Chinese paper on Tuesday and his writing master on Wednesday. He has another shortcoming, that is, he loves Jin Doudou. When his mother quarrels with him, he always cries.
Guess who he is? He is me. A little boy who loves crying, reading and being careless. Now, do you know me?
Guess who he or she is 10. Can you guess the classmate I want to introduce?
Look! He has a pair of big watery eyes, full of aura, as if he can talk, with a high nose and a small mouth, and his speech is playful and his tone is a little naughty. He always gives people a very calm feeling, and there is a calm feeling that Mount Tai collapses in front of him without changing color.
He likes helping others and exercising. Remember once, we went swimming. He said, "Let's swim in a competition!" I said, "No problem, I promise to hit you! At my level, I am definitely the first. " He smiled and said nothing. The game officially started. I flew to the pool at the speed of an arrow, plunged into the water and plopped into it. He doesn't want to fall behind, follow us, and we are neck and neck. Suddenly swimming, I suddenly felt uncomfortable in my leg, as if I had a cramp. Slowly, it began to hurt, and the speed slowed down, and he left me farther and farther. He realized that something was wrong with me, immediately gave up the game, swam to my side, helped me back to the shore, and asked me softly, "Are you okay?" Come on, put your feet down slowly. Don't worry, take your time. "I was deeply moved and said to him," thank you, that's very kind of you! """You're welcome, it's easy. We are all good friends and should help each other, shouldn't we? "He said with a smile.
His greatest hobby is reading. As long as he is reading, even if you approach him and stand next to him, he won't notice, and sometimes he will even be surprised by you. Once, I went to his house to play with him, and he was reading in the study. I saw him eating a pencil as a snack while reading a book. Seeing this scene, I bent over with laughter, but he knew nothing. It seems that he is really addicted to reading.
This is my good friend, a boy who loves reading and sports. Can you guess who he is?
Guess who he (she) is 1 1 I have a good friend who is very good to all of us. Let's guess who he is, do you know?
He is not tall, but he is fat. The belly is always bulging like a ball. The mouth is also big and round, as if you can swallow a watermelon in one bite. Once praised, watery eyes are incomparably proud! Walking like in the movie "Nezha" is so stupid. Hold your head high, eyes flashing, and walk gracefully on the road. It seems that only he is the best in the world. As long as he smiles, he reveals two big white front teeth, like two diamonds. I also like to wear plaid clothes.
He likes to laugh. As long as we tell a joke, he can't stop. I am also very cheerful and never take things to heart. Speaking of him, students will think this is a good man! He will help us as long as we ask him for help. Once, our class was arranging the examination room and didn't leave him a mop when cleaning it. He can only drag it with a piece of foam. I thought he might complain about us all the time, but I didn't expect him to say, "Just my two bubbles can come in handy today." Seeing his feet standing on the foam and holding a broom in both hands, he asked, "Do I look like Nezha?" . This can make the students who clean up laugh. Then the troublemaker in our class accidentally tripped him and was covered in water. I guess he might report this classmate. As a result, he said, "Look at the pattern on my body. Cool! " The troublemaker immediately said he was sorry.
On another occasion, his test score was less than 90%, and all his classmates felt very poor, but he still had a good time with us. Later, one of my classmates asked him, "Do you still have the heart to play?" ? He said, "It doesn't matter, I can try to do better!" " "
He has a hobby of reading brain teasers. I often borrow my classmates' or bring them to school to share with you. He often gives us questions that he did wrong, and we often can't answer them.
He has many excellent qualities worth learning, such as love of reading, cheerful and lively personality and indifference to people. I like this good friend very much.
According to my description, have you guessed who he is?
Guess who he (she) is. Hello, class. I'll tell you alone. Guess who he is.
This student always has short hair. He usually wears a gray sweatshirt, jeans and Nike sneakers. She is not tall, but she is strong, with dark skin and big eyes. Sometimes she laughs like a Peking Opera actress, "Ha ha ha ha ha!" Is she such a student? Close? Now you can guess 300%.
She is not outstanding in her studies, but she is very caring. Once, on a steep slope of the north city wall, she saw an old man struggling to pedal three rounds and carrying a car full of junk. She leaned her bike against the side of the road, quietly helped grandpa push the cart for more than ten meters, and finally climbed the slope. Grandpa looked back at her, wiped his sweat and said with a smile, "Ha, handsome boy, thank you!" " "At this moment, she suddenly blushed, her eyes widened, and she lowered her head and muttered," What eyes! You are still a beautiful woman! "
This incident made people laugh for many days, and today's incident made her embarrassment famous all over the world.
The new teacher Ma, one day, ran out of the toilet and shouted, "No, no, there is a rogue in the ladies' room! The classmates and teachers around are shouting. Teacher Ma said, "Give me a stick and see who it is. Knock him out!" " As a result, Teacher Ma went inside with a stick and shouted, "Oh, it's … you again!" " "She blushed, gnashed her teeth, gasped, cut her hair and snorted." Who's the rogue? "You are the hooligans!" Everyone burst into laughter. The headmaster also rushed over. After figuring it out, he pointed to her and said, "Oh, can you wear some bright clothes and tie a ponytail in the future, like a girl!" " She twisted her neck: "What's wrong with me? Is it illegal? Do you care? " Let the headmaster catch grasshoppers like Zhang Fei-open your eyes and a group of people will disperse bored.
Are my classmates different enough? Like singer Chris Lee, she is a tomboy. You must have guessed right. She is my deskmate, the famous grandson.
Guess who he (she) is. 13 is in a seat in our class. You can see him. He is a bit careless and loves to learn. He has many wonderful stories!
He is tall, neither fat nor thin, and his figure is relatively symmetrical. His hair is black, like a black pot cover; Have a pair of bright and "talking" eyes, like two black whales facing each other, with a round head and a pointed tail; The high bridge of the nose is like a towering mountain peak, and at this time, two eyes are like clouds on the hillside; He has a big mole on his forehead! Haha, you must recognize him at a glance in class.
He is very careless and is the "king of carelessness" in our class. Sometimes he misspelled his name, and sometimes he wrote the name of the class office in his exercise book. The funniest thing is that one day, he was registering the deduction points for his classmates' homework. He himself is the number 10, but when he registered, he wrote the number 9, and he changed the number 23 to the number 22 by mistake, which led these students to get the wrong scores inexplicably. Another time, in the math exam, he wrote "6" as "9", "left" as "right", and abruptly scored "100" as more than 80 points, making the math teacher blow his beard and stare.
He also loves to delve into topics and has a strong spirit of "breaking the casserole and drilling to the end". Once in a math class, the teacher asked everyone to do a paper. After finishing, the teacher only announced the answer to one of the questions, without talking about the thinking process. At this time, the teacher said, "This topic is still somewhat difficult for you now. We will naturally hand it in in the fourth grade." After class, he is still racking his brains to think about this problem. For a long time, a smile appeared on his face. It turns out that he has come up with a solution to this problem.
Do you know who this "he" is? If you keep a secret for me, I will tell you quietly. This careless and studious person is me!
Guess who he (she) is 14 Today, I want to introduce you to a friend. He is an athlete. Although he is thin, he is strong. He wears a pair of blue glasses, his eyes are black and his wisdom is shining.
In physical education class, he always runs fastest and is the most talented of all sports. This year, he was elected to the track and field team by the school. I remember that in the last school sports meeting, he won the first place in the basketball game and won the honor for the class!
He is always the most agile one on the football field. This summer vacation, I went to Fujian Normal University and played a game with him. Our opponent is the school team of Taijiang No.2 Primary School. The weather was hot and our opponents were strong, but we played a wonderful game with passion and persistent spirit for football.
The game has started. As always, he took the initiative to run, defend and break the ball on the court ... Because the opponent was a well-trained school team and always had the upper hand, the score of the game was quickly opened. At this time, we are very anxious and under great pressure. Seeing that the opponent's goal had reached our goal, at this moment, he knelt down and made a beautiful tackle, which was solved.
Towards the end of the first half, we were still behind and the other team scored another goal. I was particularly anxious at that time, but he came up to me and said softly, "Don't lose heart, we still have a chance. Come on! " At the end of the first half, he scored a crucial goal, and we cheered and rekindled our fighting spirit!
He was the goalkeeper in the second half, and a ball flew towards him. He didn't dodge. He bravely rushed out to save and blocked the inevitable goal. At the same time, he fell heavily to the ground, but he was desperate and immediately returned to the position of goalkeeper, because he knew that was the goalkeeper's mission. With a whistle, the game was over. Although we lost the game, we gained experience and realized it.
After listening to my introduction, you must know who he is Let's guess.
Guess who he (she) is. 15 The window of the soul reflects the wise light, and the temples on both sides have been stained with a little frost, from which we can know the long time of teaching. Although walking is always not urgent or slow, it seems to have a panoramic view of the roadside. However, as soon as he stood on the platform, it seemed to be full of electricity, and he began to use his sensitive and fast brain. Especially the right hand that has been accompanied by chalk for many years, it is really amazing to write on the blackboard.
He is humorous and often makes his classmates laugh in class. Sometimes he laughs with us when he is happy. Then, like a conductor, he made a "stop" gesture with his hand. Quiet down, immediately go straight to the point, like a face-changing actor, instantly enter the state.
Sometimes, students laugh too much. No matter what kind of teacher, I can't control it. At this time, the teacher will stare at everyone, his eyes will shoot two cold lights, and his expression will become "an iceberg face for thousands of years." This phenomenon shows that the teacher is angry, so everyone quickly puts away their smiling faces and sits up straight.
Perhaps because the teacher has a good temper, there are always many people in his class who violate discipline and make trouble. At this time, the teacher became "angry". I work hard to give lectures, even if I don't listen, I even make noise. The teacher didn't want to see with us, so he took off his glasses and sighed and comforted himself: "Out of sight, out of mind." But unconsciously, the glasses naturally ran to the teacher's nose, and sometimes the teacher didn't know when to put them on again.
As teachers, students need to make great efforts in self-discipline. Everything depends on consciousness.
The teacher has a bad voice, but in order to take care of the students in the back row, he still lectures loudly, which is really admirable. This shows that he is a good and dedicated teacher.
Well, there's nothing more to say. You should have guessed who he is!
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