A selection of misspelled jokes

One day, a farmer didn't feel well, so he went to the hospital for examination.

The doctor said: blood test, urine test, stool test, and then gave him three appliances.

After a while, the farmer came out of the toilet and said to the doctor, doctor, I have swallowed blood and urine. I really can't swallow this shit!

The doctor smiled at that time. . . . .

2, big cleaning day

Xiao Fang decided to get married next Sunday. She wrote to tell her brother, who works in other places, about this great event. The letter said: This Sunday is my big bath day. Please come back. A week later, Xiao Fang received a big package and a letter from his brother. The content of the letter is: I can't go home because I am short of money, so I have to send you dirty clothes for washing. Thank you, sister!

3. Guess a difficult woman

Mother and baby play riddles, and the baby often guesses.

Mom: Let me think. I'll guess a difficult one for you.

Baby: But Mom, I want to guess a woman.

4. Comrades in a unit

There is a leader who always writes typos and mispronounces, and never studies with an open mind.

Once, the unit held a commendation meeting, and he pronounced Feng XX as Ma XX, which caused a burst of laughter. He may be wrong again.

The secretary reminded: "There are two more points!"

The leader wanted to correct it, but he was afraid of losing face, so he said with a straight face, "Don't laugh, it doesn't matter if you lose two points! They are all comrades in the same unit, so why care about these two points? "

A man and a woman are sleeping.

One day, I was having a chemistry class. Some students are dozing off in class. Unexpectedly, the chemistry teacher found out. The teacher said at the top of his lungs, our knowledge today is so important that there is still a couple sleeping. The whole class is fidgeting, but it's actually quite far away.

It is said that Li Hongzhang has a distant relative.

It is said that Li Hongzhang has a distant relative who is ignorant. In his senior year, he took the provincial exam. When he got the test paper, he could not answer a word. He used his quick wits and was busy writing on the test paper that he was a relative of Li Hongzhang. But I can't write the word "qi". Write "I am nave's own wife". After reading it, the examiner commented: "So I dare not take (marry) ..."

7, mispronouncing grandstanding and touching paragraphs

There is a deputy secretary in our bureau. One year, the winter training class gave us * * "Transforming Our Learning".

Before reading, his old gentleman said, "Although my professional level is not as high as yours, my political level is definitely better than yours. After all, I have been a political cadre for so long, and I know much more about politics than you.

You should listen carefully and remember carefully. "Everyone was shocked and listened carefully to the book to remember:" ... without the intention of seeking truth from facts, but with a heart of grandstanding for Pang ... "Haha," grandstanding "is pronounced as" grandstanding for Pang ",and he doesn't know it yet with a sigh.

Continue "... reed on the wall, top-heavy, shallow foundation; Bamboo shoots in the mountains have thick skins and empty stomachs, "he stopped to explain, and there was a giggle from below. "Later, once again," ... this attitude is seeking truth from facts, and Pang's heart is not sensational ... "The following finally smiled, and even the director sitting next to him couldn't help laughing.

Later, he studied "Theory of Three Represents Theory". Somehow, there is an idiom "a poem can be moved to tears", but his old gentleman read it as "a poem can be established", which caused laughter again. The atmosphere of that study was lively and left a deep impression on us. In the future, everyone will tease each other and often say "grandstanding" and "one song can stand".

8, the teacher tells

At the beginning of school, the teacher handed out exercise books by name. Whoever comes will get his exercise book back. When the teacher nodded, "yellow belly!" Yellow belly! "Nobody even promised to shout a few times, so the teacher had to cut class. It's all done, the teacher asked. Is there anything that hasn't arrived? Then a girl raised her hand. The teacher asked, "What's your name?" The girl timidly replied, "My name is Huang Yuepo ..."

Reason discussion:

Health: She wrote the word "slope" too wide, so it became "belly".

Health: She didn't notice that there was a little space between each word.

Health: if you don't write carefully, your handwriting is not correct.

9. When chatting with a girl, I asked: What are you doing in an Internet cafe?

She said: I specialize in masturbation (cashier)

10, chatting with a female classmate, originally said that she is a very reputable person. At that time, playing quickly became sexual desire, which made you a very sexual person.

Finishing: zhl20 16 12