Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Ask for pictures of China's top ten swords. The big ones and the best ones can be used as computer wallpaper. Don't make a fool of yourself with cartoons and games. Better have a lieutenant, Mo Xie.

Ask for pictures of China's top ten swords. The big ones and the best ones can be used as computer wallpaper. Don't make a fool of yourself with cartoons and games. Better have a lieutenant, Mo Xie.

The 10th Cheng Ying

At an ancient dawn, when the sky was black and white, a pair of hands slowly raised. Hands clasped together is a hilt, only the hilt can't see the body of the sword. However, on the north wall, an erratic sword shadow was vaguely cast. The sword shadow only lasts for a moment, and disappears with the coming of the day. Until dusk, the sky is getting darker. At the moment when day and night alternate, the erratic sword shadow reappears. Raise your hands and draw an elegant arc, waving to a tall and straight ancient pine tree next to you. There is a slight "crack" sound in the auricle, and the tree body shakes slightly, but it does not change. However, not long after, the lush loose cover slowly fell in the gentle south wind and spread around, indicating the passage of time. The darker the sky, the invisible sword, the silent closing of the ancient twilight, and the silence between heaven and earth. This shadowy sword is in the column. The famous sword admired by Liezi was cast by Shang Dynasty, and was later hidden by Kong Zhou in the Spring and Autumn Period: Cheng Ying. Cheng Ying is a delicate and elegant sword. Shock maser index: 7

9 th chunjun

In the Spring and Autumn Period, on a sunny afternoon, after several years of hard work, I finally defeated Gou Jian, the king of Yue, and woke up after a sweet nap, feeling very comfortable. After drinking a pot of good Longjing tea, Gou Jian happily sent someone down to find someone. This man is Xue Zhu. Qin people are traveling around the world at this time. Although Xue Zhu is very young, he has become famous in many countries. He is called the first fencing master in the world. Soon, Xue Zhu, with fine features and elegant manners, came here. After some polite greetings, the host and guests took their entourage to the wide outdoor terrace. Gou Jian, King of Yue, loves swords. This platform is tens of feet high, with relaxed momentum and sufficient light, and is specially used to watch and admire swords. After taking a seat, Gou Jian glanced at Xue Zhu around him, thinking that although this young man is young, he has read countless swords. I'm afraid it's hard for a general sword to enter his eyes. So Gou Jian asked his men to take out two swords that he was proud of: Cao Hao and Juque. Who knows, Xue Zhu took a look and said casually, "These two swords have their own shortcomings, but Cao Guanghua is weak and the giant que is thick, so it can't be regarded as a sword." Then he yawned lazily in the warm sunshine. Gou Jian was surprised and ashamed. He thought for a moment, gritted his teeth and leaned over a servant's ear. After a while, the page led hundreds of armored warriors to escort a sword to the audience. Xue Zhu was amused and asked, "Your king is so excited. What sword is he carrying?" Gou Jian was a little dissatisfied with Xue Zhu's attitude. He grumpily spit out two words: "Chunjun". Only heard a "Mao solicitation", Xue Zhu fell from his seat on his back, and the gold hairpin in her hair fell to the ground, and her long hair fell freely, and her face suddenly froze and glazed. For a long time, I suddenly woke up I saw him tiptoe down the steps, came to the sword, bowed deeply, then adjusted his clothes in awe, took the sword from the waiter, knocked it carefully, and slowly pulled it out of its sheath. I saw a group of brilliance blooming like hibiscus, graceful and beautiful, and the carving on the hilt shone with deep light like stars. The blade blends with the sunshine, just like clear water, calm and soothing, but the blade is as tall and straight as a cliff ... After a long time, Xue Zhu asked in a trembling voice, "Is this Chun Jun? ! "Gou Jian nodded:" Yes. " He went on proudly. "Someone wants to exchange a thousand good horses for this sword in three rich towns and two big cities. Do you think so? " Xue Zhu quickly said, "You can't change it." Gou Jian frowned affectedly and asked, "Why? Tell me the truth. " Xue Zhu shouted excitedly, "Because this sword is a masterpiece of harmony between man and nature. In order to cast this sword, the Millennium red pansy mountain broke tin, and if the Millennium river dried up, copper came out. When casting a sword, Lei Gong struck the iron, Rain Niang drenched the water, Dragon held the stove, and Heaven filled the charcoal. Ou Yezi, the master of sword casting, worked hard with the gods for ten years to forge this sword. After the sword was completed, the gods died, and the Red Zi Shan remained closed. If Jiang Botao comes back again, Ou Yezi will be exhausted. This sword has become a swan song, and there is no way to make a beautiful city ... "Gou Jian nodded with satisfaction:" Yes, since it is priceless, I will cherish it forever. " This story can be found in Yuejueshu. Pure is a noble sword. Shock maser index: 7.5

No.8 fish intestines

When the Black Hawk flew to the main hall, Zhuan Zhu came to the main hall with his own plum blossom and anchovies. The sun hunts in the sky, and the eagle flies as usual. In the military exhibition hall, Zhu made steady progress. The clouds were stunned by the eagle's momentum and swam away. Liao Wang was attracted by the delicious food in Pig's hand. He raised his nose and leaned forward. He only saw food, but he didn't see pigs. That dish is called plum braised in brown sauce, which is cool plum in severe winter and braised in brown sauce with anchovies. It only appears in the hot summer in Taihu Lake. Braised cold plum branches in severe winter and baked anchovies in Taihu Lake in midsummer. The eagle has seen the outline of the hall, and the sky suddenly darkens. Zhuan has come to Liao Wang and put the food on the chopping board, while the lights in the temple are still there. Dark clouds rolled in the sky, and the eagle folded its wings. Liao Wang swallowed and looked at the delicious food in front of him. Zhuan Zhu is firmly breaking the fish with his hands. With a loud noise, the eagle dived into the hall. Liao Wang suddenly felt a cold murderous look coming out of the fish's stomach, and he was shocked. The fishbone sword has been drawn (fish belly), and it snuggles firmly in Zhu Zhu's hand, hurtling forward. Two well-trained iron brothers stopped it in front, and the fishbone sword jumped out from the gap and was still moving forward. There are three layers of armor in front. When the first layer penetrated, the second layer penetrated, and the third layer penetrated, the fish intestine sword found itself as a broken arrow. The sword is broken, but the murderous look is not broken. The fishbone sword is still moving forward. When the eagle smashed the hall, the fish intestine sword also went into Liao Wang's heart. The eagle whistled with satisfaction when it fell down injured. Half-broken fish intestine sword hummed a silent song in Liao Wang's gradually weakened heartbeat. Zhuan Xu, who was thrown down by the sword and rain, gave the land under his face a lonely smile with his last strength. ..... Zhuan Xu stabbed Liao Wang and the eagle struck the temple ... See Sima Qian's Historical Records. Fishbone sword is a brave sword. Shock wave lasing index: 8

Mo Xie, seventh and sixth lieutenants.

Ganjiang and Mo Xie are two swords, but no one can separate them. Mo Xie and Gan Qiang are two people. Similarly, no one can separate them. Ganjiang and Mo Xie are two swords cast by Ganjiang and Mo Xie. Cadres are male swords, and Mo Xie is female swords. A good husband and Mo Xie's wife. He is diligent and Mo Xie is gentle. When the lieutenant made a sword for the prince of Wu, Mo Xie fanned the lieutenant and wiped his sweat. Three months later, the lieutenant sighed. Mo Xie also shed tears. Mo Xie knew why the lieutenant sighed, because the gold concentrate collected from Wushan in the furnace could not be melted, and the sword could not be cast without the iron eagle. Lieutenant also knows why Mo Xie shed tears, because if the sword can't be cast, he will have to be killed by the prince. The lieutenant still sighed, but one night, Mo Xie suddenly laughed. Seeing Mo Xie laughing, the lieutenant suddenly became afraid. Knowing why Mo Xie was laughing, the lieutenant said to Mo Xie, "Mo Xie, you mustn't do this." . Mo Xie didn't say anything, she just smiled. When the lieutenant woke up, he found that Mo Xie was not with him. He knows where Mo Xie is. Mo Xie stood on the towering sword-casting furnace wall, and her skirt fluttered like a fairy. Mo Xie saw the lieutenant's figure running from a distance in the morning light. She smiled, and she heard the general's hoarse voice: Mo Xie ... Mo Xie was still laughing, but at the same time, tears came down. The lieutenant also shed tears. In the hazy tears, he saw Mo Xie floating down. He heard Mo Xie finally say to him, Captain, I am not dead, but we will still be together ... The molten iron melted and the sword was successfully cast. A man and a woman, named Mo Xie, only dedicated him to the king of Wu. The news that this cadre was hiding "Mo Xie" was soon known by the prince of Wu. The samurai surrounded the cadre and gave him up. He opened the sword box and asked in despair, "Mo Xie, how can we be together?" ? The sword suddenly jumped out of the box, turned into a beautiful white dragon and flew away. At the same time, the lieutenant suddenly disappeared without a trace The lieutenant is gone, and so is the "lieutenant" sword around the prince of Wu. Thousands of miles away in a desolate and poor county, a young white dragon suddenly appeared in a big lake called Yanpingjin. This white dragon is beautiful and kind, giving orders to the people. Desolate poor cities and counties are gradually getting good weather and abundant food. The name of the county has also changed from a poor city to a rich city. However, locals often find that this white dragon looks around the lake in Yanping Tianjin almost every day, as if waiting for something, and some even see tears in its eyes. Six hundred years have passed. By chance, Lei Huan, the magistrate of Fengcheng County, dug a stone box from the ground when he was building the city wall. There is a sword with the word "Ganjiang" engraved on it. Lei Huan was overjoyed and took away the famous sword. One day, Leihuan Road crossed the lake in Yanping, Tianjin, and the sword at the waist suddenly came out of its sheath and jumped into the water. Just as Lei Huan was surprised, the river surged and black and white Ssangyong jumped out of the water. Ssangyong nodded his thanks to Lei Huan frequently. Then, the two dragons intertwined affectionately, both of them dived into the water and disappeared. The people who lived in Fengcheng County for generations found that the White Dragon, which is said to have existed for more than 600 years, suddenly disappeared from the Golden Lake in Yanping, and shed tears every day. The next day, an ordinary couple moved to the county seat. The husband is an excellent blacksmith with superb skills, but he is bent on forging ordinary farm tools that can only earn a few dollars, but refuses to build weapons that can earn thousands of dollars. When he works, his little wife is always around to fan him to wipe his sweat. Ganjiang and Mo Xie are swords of love. Shock wave lasing index: 8.5

Long Yuan, the fifth star.

According to legend, this sword was forged by two swordsmen, Ou Yezi and Ganjiang. In order to cast this sword, Ou Yezi and his generals dug up the Tsz Mountain, released the stream in the mountain and led it to the seven pools next to the sword-casting furnace, which were called "Seven Stars". After the sword is finished, looking down at the blade is like climbing a mountain and overlooking the abyss. It is ethereal and deep, as if there is a dragon lying there. It's called "Long Yuan". Although the casting skill of this sword is exquisite, it is also famous for an ordinary fisherman who can't know his real name: Yu. It is said that Wu Zixu, who was victimized by treacherous court officials, was a fugitive, and was chased by the military forces of the State of Chu. On this day, he worked hard and fled to the banks of the Yangtze River, only to see the mighty rivers and boundless waves. Before stopping the flood, there were pursuers. Just as he was very anxious, Wu Zixu found a boat coming rapidly upstream, and the fisherman on the boat told him to board. After Wu Zixu boarded the ship, the ship quickly disappeared among the reeds and disappeared. The pursuers on the shore left angrily, and the fisherman came to the shore with Wu Zixu on his back to give Wu Zixu a good meal. Wu Zixu was grateful and asked the fisherman's name. The fisherman said with a smile that he was wandering in the waves. Wu Zixu thanked him and said goodbye. After a few steps, he turned back with doubts. He untied the third-generation ancestral sword Qixing Longyuan from his waist. He wanted to give this precious sword to his father-in-law and asked him not to reveal his whereabouts. He took the seven-star Dragon Garden sword, sighed and said to Wu Zixu, I only saved you because you are a loyal country and don't want to repay you. Now, you still suspect that I am greedy for profits. Say that finish, horizontal sword commit suicide. Wu Zixu inexplicably regretted it. This story can be found in Wu Yue Chun Qiu. Seven-star Dragon Garden is an honest and noble sword. Shock wave lasing index: 8.8

The 4th Artest

The capital of Chu was besieged by the army of the State of Jin for three years. Jin sent troops to attack Chu in order to get the treasure of Chu: Tai 'ajian. It is said that Tai 'an Sword was cast by Ou Yezi and two great swordsmen. However, the two masters don't think so. They say that Tai 'a sword is a powerful sword of princes, but it is invisible and untraceable. But the firm but gentle sword has existed between heaven and earth for a long time, and only when the opportunity is combined into one, the weather, geography, people and three roads are combined into one, this sword becomes one. Jin was the most powerful country at that time. Of course, the king of Jin thought he was the most qualified person to get this sword, but the result was counterproductive. When the sword was made, the sword body was naturally engraved with the word "Too Ah", which shows that Ou Ye and the generals were right. The king of Jin couldn't swallow this tone, so he asked the king of Chu for a sword, but the king of Chu refused, so the king of Jin sent troops to attack Chu and took the opportunity to destroy Chu in the name of a sword. Because of the disparity in strength, most cities in Chu quickly fell, and the capital was surrounded by groups and trapped for three years. The city is out of food and grass, and the enemy is in danger. On this day, the emissary of Jin issued an ultimatum: If you don't hand over your sword, the city will be captured tomorrow, and everything will be burned! The king of Chu was unyielding and told the left and right to kiss Chengtou and kill the enemy tomorrow. If the city is broken, they will commit suicide with this sword, and then they will pick up this sword, ride a fast horse to the great lake, sink to the bottom of the lake, and let Thai sword stay in Chu forever. At dawn the next day, the king of Chu boarded Chengtou, only to see the Jin army and horses outside the city cover the sun, and the capital city is like a boat in the Wang Yang, which is in danger of collapse at any time. The soldiers and horses of the state of Jin began to attack the city, shouting like a mountain calling for a tsunami, and the city was about to be broken. King Chu held the sword in his hand and sighed: Thai sword, Thai sword, today I will use my blood to pay homage to you! So he drew his sword and pointed it at the enemy. An incredible miracle appeared: I saw a majestic shock wave coming out, and suddenly sand and stones flew over the sky outside the city, as if there were wild animals roaring inside. After a while, the Jin army was in chaos, and the whole army was wiped out after this incident ... After this, the king of Chu called Feng Beard, a wise man in China, and asked: Why is the sword in Thailand so powerful? Wind beard said: Thai sword is the sword of prestige, and inner prestige is the real prestige. The king's unyielding adversity is the outstanding performance of his inner prestige, which inspired the firm but gentle prestige of Thai sword! See Yue Jueshu. Thai sword is a sword of Wei Dao. Shock maser index: 9.3

The Third Chi Xiao

There was such a young man in the Qin Dynasty who had no ambition and was full of problems. He is lazy and never does farm work at home. He is a good drinker and often gets drunk. He is a lecherous, and he can't keep his legs open when he sees beautiful girls. He is rude and careless to officials and people. Most exasperating of all, he is good at lying and bragging. He often shows people seventy-two moles on his left leg. He didn't say it was a skin disease, but only a picture of the sky. He often looks at Xianyang from a distance, shakes his head and sighs: Oh, what a gentleman! His lies are getting more and more outrageous. He got a rusty iron bar from nowhere and told the villagers that it was a sword from a fairy in Nanshan. His name was Chi Xiao. He regards it as a treasure, and the "sword" is with him all day. He also said that he was not human, but a red dragon in the sky. His cows are getting bigger and bigger. He said that he had known the first emperor for a long time. The first emperor was a white dragon. He also said that the first emperor was not as good as him, because he was a red dragon with higher mana, and he would become an emperor instead. He also said that he knew that the vitality of the first emperor had turned into a white snake, and recently he swam near Fengxize. He said he would cut off the white snake, and he picked up the iron bar and gestured. People regard his words as jokes and big talk, and no one believes them. However, in one night, everything changed. That evening, dozens of young people from the village who went to the county as apprentices went to Fengxize. The young man was among them, but instead of going to work, he went to have fun. As he walked, he took out a hip flask and drank it. Strangely, recently, apprentices who went to the county often disappeared near Fengxize for no reason. So, to be on the safe side, we sent a clever young man to inquire first. After a while, the spy fled back pale. He said that he smelled fish in front of him after walking for a while, so he climbed a big tree and saw a huge evil. The crowd was too scared to move forward. At this time, the young man separated from the others and walked forward. He said the white snake was waiting for him, and he was going to cut it. As he spoke, he pulled out his iron bar and stumbled. It seems that he has been drinking all the way. People held their breath, looked at his bent back and said to themselves, "This silly boy … the boy didn't come back after a night. People know that he must have become a delicious meal for snakes. " . The dark clouds cleared and everyone moved on. After walking for a while, suddenly, they saw a huge white snake, which was cut in half and thrown on the side of the road. After walking a few more miles, I found the young man lying on the side of the road, fast asleep. There is a cloud on him, and a red dragon flies lazily in the cloud. The iron bar in my hand is gone, and it is replaced by a sword inlaid with colored beads and nine-flowered jade. It is cold and sharp, and the body of the sword is clearly engraved with two seal characters: Chi Xiao. At this time, people believed what the young man said was true. This young man is Liu Bang. This sword is Chi Xiaojian of the snake-cutting uprising. Chi Xiaojian is an imperial sword. Shock maser index: 9.7

The Second Zhan Lu

Zhan Lu is a sword and an eye. Zhan Lu: Zhan is black. This traceless black sword makes people feel not its sharpness, but its generosity and kindness. It is like a deep and penetrating black eye of God, watching every move of the king and prince. You have a way, the sword is on the side, the country is rich and the people are strong. You have no way, the sword flies and the country breaks. Hardware English, the essence of the sun, elusive, powerful. When Ou Yezi was building this sword, he couldn't help crying, because he finally realized his lifelong dream: casting an invincible weapon without any murderous look. The so-called benevolent is invincible. The sword of Zhan Lu is the sword of the benevolent. Shock maser index: 10

The first Xuanyuan sword

The bronze of the first mountain was cast by the Yellow Emperor and later passed on to Yu Xia. This sword carved the sun, moon and stars, as well as mountains, rivers and plants. On the one hand, the hilt writes about farming and animal husbandry, on the other hand, it writes about the strategy of unifying the four seas. Xuanyuanjian! What can we say about such a sword? Yellow Emperor, Yu Xia! What can we say to such two people? Courage, wisdom and kindness ... boil down to two words: the sacred road. Xuanyuan sword is the sword of the Holy Way. Shock wave lasing index: infinity.