What about children bossing their parents around?

Dear, good evening everyone! I'm Qi Miao, and this is Pingliang Parents' Home Radio. Today is July 2065438 1, which is our problem 136.

What about children bossing their parents around? From Pingliang's parents' home at 00:00 13:33.

What about children bossing their parents around?

First of all, there are four motives for bossing parents around.

Summer vacation is coming, Xiangrou began to pull a long face more than half a month ago, sighing incessantly. It is said that my son will come back, and I don't know how to spend this 50-day holiday.

Colleagues laughed at her, saying that she was basking in happiness, calling four or five times a day for fear that her son would not eat well, wear well and sleep well at grandma's house, and she didn't miss it. Finally looking forward to the summer vacation, my son came back, and the three of us were happy together, and we could wake up laughing in our dreams every day.

To the soft wry smile way, "I this is a typical Ye Gonghao dragon. When he is not around, he can't sleep well every night without making a phone call and showing him a video. This heartfelt love is of course true. But in the winter and summer vacations, this kind of worry is also true. This little guy is spoiled by his grandparents. When you say what you want to do, it's like burning your ass. You have to be content for a while, or the noise will tear down the house. For example, if you are cooking in full swing and people say' I want to drink water', you have to stop and pour water. You have to mix hot and cold water to his accustomed temperature of 35 degrees, then bring it to his hand, watch him drink, then put the cup back in place and continue cooking. Sometimes I forget to turn it off when I'm in a hurry, and the kitchen catches fire. Well, if you tell him that mom will pour you water after frying this dish, she will immediately smash the glass for you. For example, when food is served, people take a bite, and if it tastes wrong, they throw up on the table. You can't just stop eating. Well, if you don't eat, you don't eat. It doesn't hurt to be hungry. But he's playing with you. He throws whatever he catches. It doesn't count as if the devil had entered the village. He is also yelling at you, punching and kicking. It doesn't hurt to hit people with his small arms and legs, but his heart is sour. Then, before it's over, I have to call my grandparents to complain. Do you say I like my family? Or when the cow is riding a horse? In fact, I am also very happy to be a cow and a horse. Just a child, waiting like an ancestor, maybe I can be more sensible when I grow up. Well, the point is, people don't give good looks. They are always bossing around, smashing dishes and bowls. I have lived here for most of my life, and I have never been angry with anyone, nor have I seen anyone's face. Now 30 years in the East and 30 years in the West, it depends on my son's face ... I will have a summer vacation in another week, and I am so worried. "

The situation of Xiangrou children is no exception. Generally speaking, there are four situations in which children are particularly prone to bossing their parents around.

The first kind, children brought up by grandparents as the main person in charge, that is, intergenerational education. In this case, children's disrespect for their parents is caused by the gap and difference in educational concepts between the two generations, and the second is because parents did not say what their parents said.

Second, the father is responsible for making money to support the family, and the mother is responsible for the beautiful full-time housewife, which is particularly easy to be bossed around by children. This situation is mainly because children are influenced by other family members and look down on their mothers, so they have no sense of respect.

Third, mom and dad work outside all the year round, and the children stay in their hometown since childhood. After parents' conditions improve or children reach school age, children are particularly prone to bossing their parents around, and parents feel indebted to their children with joy. So the children desperately want it and the parents desperately give it, which is caused by the extreme emotional imbalance between the two sides.

Fourth, mom and dad have bad feelings and unhappy marriages. Taking children as a bargaining chip is not as good as changing bees for honey in good years, and letting wet nurses treat swallows in bad years. Therefore, children learn how to perceive words and emotions and how to compensate by changing roles. When parents are honey, they try to be mother-in-law, and when parents become mother-in-law, they are honey.

Second, the ancient and magical "seed method"

In the above four different situations, children will boss their parents around. Is there any good way to cure at least 100 diseases like Yunnan Baiyao?

There is really such a way, that is, the ancient and magical "seed method."

Tracing back to the source, the "seed rule" comes from the Diamond Sutra. I have read the Diamond Sutra, but I don't know much about it, but this does not prevent us from having the shining wisdom to serve the improvement of parent-child relationship and the creation of harmonious family relationship and husband-wife relationship.

TED is a private non-profit organization in the United States. Every year, the TED conference brings together many outstanding people in the fields of science, design, literature and music from all over the world to share their thoughts and explorations on technology, society and people. McGee, a modern monk who practices the wisdom of the ancient diamond sutra, uses a pen as a metaphor and metaphor to uncover the "seed method" for us to realize these wishes.

The four steps of the seed rule are:

1, confirm what you want?

2. Find someone who has the same needs as you.

Continue to help him get what he wants.

4. Water the seed to make it sprout and blossom quickly.

Masters are masters because they all have an extraordinary ability to teach us the most complicated, difficult and obscure truth in the world in the simplest and most interesting way.

"What is this?" Gussie teacher took out a pen and asked:

"It's a pen!" The audience answered.

"If a puppy comes in at this time and I give it this thing in my hand, what will it do?"

"It will be taken away!" The audience answered.

"Is that thing in my hand for dogs?" Teacher Gussie asked.

"Well, as a toy?" "When's the bone?"

"Yes, the dog used it as a grinding stick." Teacher Gussie said, "Then here comes my third question. Me, you and the dog have all left, and only this pen is left in this room. Is this pen a grinding stick or a pen that can write at this time? "

"Nothing!" The audience shouted excitedly.

"Very well, this is emptiness, and this is the great wisdom emptiness in the Diamond Sutra."

Third, how does the "seed rule" improve bad behavior?

What can be done to successfully improve the bad behavior pattern of "children bossing their parents around" with this magical "seed rule"?

For example, a child is not a child, but an empty bottle, a transparent empty bottle.

1. This kind of bottle is very common and cheap. As a result, parents probably didn't care and cherish it so much. They will put things, water and garbage into it at will, and they may even listen to it on the ground with a bang, or simply throw it into the garbage.

This bottle is very transparent and beautiful. Therefore, parents are likely to care and cherish it very much, and will put clear and clean water in it, and then insert a few green plants such as bamboo, or think that inserting a few cheap green plants is not commensurate with the beauty and expensive of the bottle itself. Maybe they will choose the most beautiful flowers to plant after work every day, put the bottles in the most conspicuous place at home, and always want to change water and wipe the floor, so that the bottles and flowers are perfect and beautiful.

Therefore, it is very likely that you will clean the whole house because of the beauty of the bottle and flowers, otherwise the dirty table is not worthy of the beauty of the bottle and flowers. The table is clean, and the floor is not clean enough for the table ... in this way, everything in the house is completely new.

4. What is even more strange is that the father of the child who often yells at his family actually lowers his voice and stops smoking; Grandpa, a child who has used swearing as a mantra for half his life and bossed his grandmother around all his life, actually stopped swearing. Everyone in the family has changed. My mother smiles every day, and my grandmother is often in a good mood. Of course, the biggest change is children. The bad habit of yelling at grandparents and parents when you are unhappy miraculously disappeared. They chirp like happy birds every day, learn to have something to say and are willing to wait patiently.

Hey, how did all this happen? Just because of an empty bottle? Congratulations, you got it right! It is really because of an empty bottle, a transparent and beautiful empty bottle.

This empty bottle is a seed. Take home as the seed of soil, container and growing environment.

Parents pour rubbish into empty bottles, which are full of rubbish. Parents also see garbage in their own eyes, and the smell of garbage permeates the family. Can a seed corroded by toxic garbage grow into a white and beautiful lotus? Don't!

Parents poured water into it and inserted flowers, which were filled with water and flowers. What parents see in their own eyes are water and flowers. Of course, the smell of home is full of water and flowers The taste will diffuse, will diffuse in the air bit by bit, and penetrate into the pores, blood and temperament of every family member.

The four steps of applying seed rules are:

1, confirm what you want? I want a sensible, polite, positive and cheerful child.

2. Find someone who has the same needs as you. Just like a beautiful and expensive bottle, cherish another child who bosses his parents around. The child can be a relative, a classmate or a familiar stranger in the community.

Continue to help him get what he wants. Like bottles and flowers, continue to be kind to families and children in need until they become sensible, polite, positive and cheerful children.

4. Water the seed to make it sprout and blossom quickly. Before going to bed every night, think carefully about your feelings and changes when you help that child, and think about the silent but magical influence these feelings and changes have on your child.

Some changes and reactions are taking place quietly.

The correction of every child's bad habits and behaviors is like a mother making kimchi. It is expected that they can eat it in a day or two, which is not only bad, but also toxic. But after at least 21 days, the taste of kimchi came out. Why? Because under the condition that you can't see with the naked eye, some changes and reactions are happening quietly, just like the changes of our children.

Not only children, but also parents themselves are a seed and a bottle. What you plant in your heart will grow in your life; What you put in the bottle is what you get. If you plant kindness, tolerance and sincerity, there will always be a smile on your face and sunshine everywhere in your life. or vice versa, Dallas to the auditorium

A bottle, a seed, their most magical core essence in family education lies in the mutual penetration, interaction and mutual care between smell and everything contained in each family member.

This is the online class of Pingliang Parents' Home. I'm Qi Qimiao. See you next time!