Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - It’s my first time to take a train tomorrow, I’m very scared! ! There are many questions! ! ! Anyone who has ridden the train can come in and help~~200 points! !

It’s my first time to take a train tomorrow, I’m very scared! ! There are many questions! ! ! Anyone who has ridden the train can come in and help~~200 points! !

How to take a sleeper

Those who take long-distance buses often forget to think and summarize because of the fatigue of the journey and the scenery outside the window. But I am an alternative:

1. Regarding the choice of berths, please try to consider the middle berth.

Although the price of the lower berth is often the most expensive, it can highlight the noble status. The lower berth is often not comfortable to lie down on. There are always people sitting on your berth to chat, play cards or even tie your feet. If you don’t mind buying a sleeper ticket and always having to sit, please choose the lower berth. Some people choose the lower bunk because they don’t want to climb up and down. These people obviously haven’t experienced the baptism of sleeping on the upper bunk in college. In addition, they are all older, or think they are older.

The biggest disadvantage of the upper bunk is that it is too close to lamps, vents and speakers. The lamp prevents you from sleeping in, but it is very convenient for lying down and reading a book. It all depends on how you weigh it. If I were asked to choose between sleeping in and reading, the answer would definitely be the former. The vents always make people feel like sleeping in the open air. The whooshing breeze brings no warmth at all and always takes away the body temperature bit by bit through the quilt. As for the loudspeaker, at seven o'clock every morning, the news broadcast of the Central People's Broadcasting Station will ring in your ears for half an hour, which not only makes you sleepless, but also makes you have the urge to write a party application. This speaker is also quite paranoid during the day. She plays Teresa Teng or Kelly King for several hours in a row, turning any amount of warmth you have towards these people into hatred.

2. Regarding the choice of sleeping direction

When sleeping on the bottom bunk, please consider the following two points before making a choice. When you lean your head against the window, you will particularly feel the vibrations from the rails and wheels. For some people, this makes them fall asleep; but for others, the vibrations mean insomnia. When the head is close to the aisle, it is very close to those feet going up and down. If everyone's feet smell very "on point", then it is obviously unwise to lean the head towards the aisle.

There is nothing special about the direction of the head in the middle berth.

As for the upper bunk, you also need to consider it carefully. The blinds of the air conditioning vents at the top are always designed to blow the wind from the direction of the window to the direction of the aisle. If you don’t like your head always being blown by the wind, please Put your head against the window.

3. Things to note when sleeping on the upper bunk or the middle bunk

Please use your best movements and don’t pay attention to appearance and style.

Be careful not to wear shoes to bed. If you have done so, please do not take off your shoes on top and throw them down directly (especially high heels).

Please plan your sleeping direction before climbing into your bunk. Do not attempt to "turn around" on the bunk, as this may be dangerous (please pay special attention to those with fat bodies)

Please don’t put your tea cup in the middle or upper bunk, and don’t take risks just because it’s convenient to drink water; especially remind people sleeping in the upper bunk not to make instant noodles on the luggage rack opposite the upper bunk, although this may seem like a bad idea to everyone. It's a great idea. Considering that you will fall from the upper bunk while eating, and the instant noodles will overturn when the train shakes, please avoid such a dangerous idea.

4. Things to note when buying train tickets

Please try to choose trains starting with t or k, because they are faster, but don’t think that they will not be late because they are faster. Whether the train is delayed or not has nothing to do with the fare, but with the dispatching level of the railway department and the congestion of the train. In addition, buses starting with 5 or 2 are generally slower. Of course, buses starting with l are the slowest. Because they are temporary buses, there are more buses starting with l during the Spring Festival travel period. Before choosing such a car, make sure you have enough patience. It will give way to almost all normal traffic.

It is best to choose the berths near the middle of the carriage, and at both ends of the carriage (such as the lower berth in No. 1, or the middle berth in No. 30). In order to facilitate going to the toilet and turning on the water, it is easier to leave the lights on at both ends of the carriage open at night. It affects your sleep; the constant coming and going will also make you upset; the smell coming from the toilet is another main reason why you choose the middle; if you dig deeper, there are safety issues. The closer your luggage is to the train door, the The more likely it is that you will be "taken along" by the vendors who get on and off and the passengers who get off first (of course, theft is much less common in sleeper berths).

5. Solve the problem of food and drink on the train

Never pay for it on the first trip when the lunch cart comes over. Even if you are so hungry at this time, you will put your heart first and your heart first. You will find that when the car is pushed back, the price has dropped by at least 5 yuan. When the train attendant holds the only two boxes left and sells them, it is time for you to take action. You can usually buy them for 5 yuan. From 20 yuan to 5 yuan, apart from real estate, nothing else has more bubbles than the lunch box.

Don’t worry about the cold lunch boxes you buy later. Those lunch boxes sold earlier will not be too hot. The food truck has already prepared these items. When it was time to eat, the dining car was making stir-fries instead of lunch boxes.

Don’t worry about the hygiene of the food served on the train. They will not cause diarrhea, they just don’t taste very good.

Of course it is a pleasure to eat in a dining car, but the price is also disappointing. A more suitable choice is to buy enough instant noodles before getting in the car, add roast chicken, and some dry-cut beef, which saves money and does not treat your stomach too much.

If you are in a hurry and don’t have time to prepare anything, please get off the train and buy it when it stops. The price is generally cheaper, especially when the train goes to economically underdeveloped areas, you can sometimes buy it. Local specialties. For example, you can buy very good corn cobs in Shanxi, and you can buy unique jujubes in Jiangxi.

You must pay attention to a few points when you get off the bus for shopping: the safety of your luggage on the bus, whether you can communicate in language, and don’t miss the train because of picking up bargains.

Drinking water on the train is generally not a problem, but please be careful not to drink the tea bags provided by the train for cheap. The tea provided on the train costs 3 yuan a pack. It is very refreshing. If you accidentally drink a cup when you get on the train at 9 o'clock in the evening, you can sit there until dawn, your head is empty, but you just don't want to sleep. It is similar to the situation after watching a big night market.

It is recommended to bring your own cup and tea leaves. When using the boiling water boiler, pay attention to whether the indicator light above is "heating". If "yes", you can use it to make tea, because it is better to make tea without boiling water. But don't use it to soak instant noodles. It's better to use boiling water for instant noodles, unless you want to eat it cold.

Be careful not to get burned.

6. How to use the toilet correctly

People on the upper bunks are especially reminded not to drink too much water before going to bed. Even if you have this habit, don’t do it on the train. It will be a waste of time. Getting out of bed when you are young is no less dangerous than breaking into the girls' dormitory without permission. Unless you think otherwise, those who sleep below will only get wet. In most cases, please hold it in until dawn.

I hope you are mentally prepared for the hygiene issues in the toilet. You cannot expect this place to be the same as at home.

Don’t bring magazines to the toilet, because the toilets on the train are still squatting style, not sitting toilets.

Dajie, please bring straw paper. Although there is a roll paper bin in the toilet, it is just for decoration. Don't expect there to be paper in it.

Please do not use the toilet when the train is about to stop, because the toilet is locked at this time to maintain the cleanliness of the platform. Of course, if you really can't hold it in anymore, you can also ask the conductor. The conductors of the Shanghai Railway Bureau will generally refuse sternly. The conductors of the Tianjin Passenger Section are easier to talk to. Anyway, it all depends on luck.

If you happen to be in the toilet when you stop, there is no need to call for help because you are worried about being locked. The door can be opened from the inside.

When you are unloading, please grab an iron rod in front of you and don’t think it’s dirty (you can wrap it with paper). Every design on the train is exquisite, so that you won’t get tired of it. When he braked suddenly, he lost his footing because his horse stance was unstable.

Don’t try to pee outside the window just because the train is moving and no one is watching. The train windows are very flimsy and can fall off at any time due to a little vibration. If it gets caught, It's too late for you to regret.

Don’t imitate Westerners and have sex in the toilet for excitement. The soundproofing effect of the train is very poor. Doing so will affect everyone’s sleep and make it easy for the police to catch you.

7. How to sleep

If you have the habit of sleeping naked, please give up.

If you snore while sleeping, it’s not a big deal. You don’t have to restrain yourself for fear of affecting other people’s sleep. You will soon find that others are much louder than you. There was no chance of falling asleep.

If you don’t often sleep in a sleeper, then don’t worry about your insomnia. This is because you are not used to it. If you often sleep in a sleeper, you don’t have to worry about your insomnia, because it’s so normal.

As for grinding your teeth and talking in your sleep, you don’t have to worry about these. They at least mean that you are asleep. Passengers who are corrupt or have lovers should correct their habit of talking in sleep.

8. How to deal with interpersonal relationships

There are several trains in the Nanjing Passenger Transport section with very beautiful flight attendants. If you want to chase them, you can pay attention.

Please give up the flight attendants in Taiyuan Passenger Transport Section. Although they are very enthusiastic, they are old enough to be your aunts.

Don’t have any negative thoughts about the flight attendants from the Shenyang Railway Bureau. They can make you look like vermicelli in just a few strokes, although girls from the Northeast look very cool.

As for Shanghai girls, don’t just see that they can keep dozens of bunks in order and think that they will be able to manage the house in the future. You have to think that she will also keep you in order in the future.

If you are a passenger who loves to smoke, you can be accommodating to the flight attendants on the Tianjin Railway section, and they may let you smoke in the carriage. As for the people in the Shanghai railway section, even if you offer them a cigarette, they will ignore you after taking it.