Why do children need freedom to grow up?

For children to avoid detours, for children not to be hurt, for children to learn more knowledge and skills, for children to grow up healthily ... Parents have too many reasons and have paid too much attention and energy. But ... While parents give their children too much care, they also bind their children too much and restrict them too much, so that their curiosity is suppressed, some of their behaviors are controlled, their rebellious psychology is aroused, and the communication between children and their parents becomes a form.

Parents may wish to listen to their children's voices more, less boring preaching and more due respect; Less coercion and command, more understanding and support; Less interference and ridicule, more tolerance and encouragement: less speculation and condescension, more trust and calmness ...

Give children room for free imagination

Modern psychology shows that creativity is closely related to imagination. Creative people generally have super imagination. So it is of great significance to cultivate children's imagination.

For children, they often have unexpected dreams. Truth is important, and dreams are also important. Dreams are a liberation for children, which will make them walk into the free world from the bondage of reality. Disintegrating childhood fantasies is tantamount to turning everything in reality into bondage and inhibiting children's creativity.

like a plant growing. Children also need spiritual nourishment. Freedom is the most important growth nourishment for children. However, some parents are often worried about children's naive imagination and often control their instinctive needs in good faith. The result is that good intentions do bad things. It is useless to force children to accept moral concepts when they have no reaction to morality and when they don't need to control their behavior. The only effect is to annoy children, but when those moral concepts may play a role in the future, children will not be able to infuse them with moral concepts. Does reality provide less hard evidence for this inference? Parents should not hinder children's imagination, should not violate the boundaries of children's dreams, but should let them develop freely.

Russell said, "If the imagination of childhood is kept active through stimuli suitable for all ages. Then when he functions in a way suitable for adults, his imagination will be more active in the future. "

Mr. Huang's family just immigrated to the United States, and his 5-year-old son entered a painting class run by an academy of fine arts. After less than five times, the child didn't want to go. The child said, "The teacher doesn't teach painting at all! Every time we give a topic, we are told to draw it ourselves, and we can draw it as we like. The teacher doesn't care at all. After painting, the teacher will know to say' very good', and the paintings of those American children are simply a mess! "

Later, Mr. Huang found that those American children would only ask you "How are you" after painting, while most children in China asked "Is it like".

Mr. Huang's discovery is really insightful. Perhaps the different trends of children in the two countries in the future have been vaguely reflected in this different question.

As we know, when American children learn painting, teachers often set no samples or patterns, so that children can connect with their inner imagination from real life and freely "compose". The painting drawn by children is a kind of "creation" and there is no "model" at all. In this way, they will naturally only ask "is it good", but they can't ask "is it like it?" The children trained in this way are full of creativity and vitality, and they may be groundbreaking and original talents in the future.

and when we set our eyes on China, we have a strong feeling that whether we run a business, engage in scientific research or do research, what we lack is a truly "groundbreaking" brand-new idea. Our enterprise keeps saying that it is "catching up" and "shortening" those "international advanced levels", but in fact it is just "copying" and "copying" others step by step, just like these China children who only know how to ask "is it like" after painting. These children have regarded "image" as their highest pursuit since childhood. Some of them can really draw very much like the model, but they are just "image". Because there is no room for free imagination and free creative thinking, children's "painting" is just a copy, but what they copy now is painting, and what they copy in the future is technology and experience.

Children are the hope of the future. If our education still imprisons children's free imagination, then we will cultivate imitative talents with no imagination and creativity. Parents should provide their children with a relatively relaxed and free world, so that they can grow into "innovative" talents freely.

Let the children be free. Their world originally belongs to them. We have no right to influence their lives with our authority. We have no right to deprive them of the freedom that should belong to them. Only in a free sky can children develop their potential. It is possible for them to fly high.

Don't stop children from planting flowers

One year Gorky was recuperating on an island in Italy, and his 1-year-old son followed his mother to visit him. The naughty son played around and turned the soil in the yard upside down. Gorky frowned, but still didn't say anything, because his son came to visit him from his hometown with great interest, and the father couldn't bear to reprimand his son for being a little unhappy. Soon my son returned to Russia.

In the spring of the following year, Gorky suddenly found some flowers growing in front of the window of his residence. Only then did he know that his son was digging the soil to plant flower seeds. So he wrote a long letter to his son excitedly: "Son, you left. But the flowers you planted stayed. If you leave people beautiful things no matter when and where, then your life will be very beautiful ... "

The flowers on the island were left by my son unintentionally. If Gorky reprimanded his son when he was rummaging through the dirt, then the letters between Flowers and Gorky filled with love between father and son probably wouldn't exist. Fortunately, Gorky didn't do that. He let his son enjoy a fully free space in his own world to dream and create, and once he succeeded, he encouraged and appreciated his son.

yes. Children's nature is very important for their growth, but we often suppress the development of their nature. Aren't we always scolding them when they insist on taking the rugged path instead of the main road? In fact, they are subconsciously challenging the uneven road. Don't we always frown and stop them when they draw around with paint brushes or something? In fact, they want to draw countless wonderful pictures in their minds. We always thought it was "educating" and "loving" them, but it was all wet. In fact, sometimes many of our actions are stupid. We should not underestimate or stifle children's imagination and creativity, and should not use our own rigid ideas to bind their behavior.

Remember, children will "sow flowers" anytime and anywhere, and children will work miracles anytime and anywhere, so long as they are guided by correct education, they will naturally grow up healthily.

Let the children hold up their own sky

Xiaoqing, who is in the third grade of primary school, always likes to let her mother watch her do her homework every time, and she always asks, "Did I do it right?" At the beginning, my mother always judged right and wrong for her. Later, in a math test, Xiaoqing didn't finish the test. Mother asked her why, and she said that she was always uncertain and hesitant when doing the problem, so she delayed the time. At this time, my mother discovered that perhaps it was her "assistance" all the time that made her daughter lack self-confidence in herself.

From then on, when Xiaoqing did her homework, her mother was still with her as usual. Whenever she asked if she had done it right, her mother stopped telling her right and wrong directly, but said to her, "You are a clever and careful child. You should believe in your own ability and have confidence in yourself. As long as you do it seriously, you can forgive even if you are wrong. " Gradually, Xiaoqing asked her mother less often, and after finishing her homework, she always said confidently to her mother, "Mom, I'm done."

After reading this case, we can see some wrong practices in today's children's education: many parents are willing to spend a lot of money on their children, create all kinds of advantages for them, and let them live a life of "clothing to reach out, food to mouth". It is this kind of doting that makes children selfish, lazy and timid. Once they are asked to do something independently, the answer "I can't" will blurt out, lacking the self-confidence and courage and perseverance to overcome difficulties. Although there is only a word difference between "I can't" and "I can", they are essentially different.

Columbus said, "The world belongs to the brave." Everyone needs courage in the journey of life, and this courage should be cultivated from an early age. The reason why eagles can fight in the sky is that when they are young, their mother will take them to the edge of the cliff and drive them off one by one. Force them to spread their wings and fly.

Therefore, when educating their children, parents should show proper love, guide them well and love their children moderately. It is not good to be hands-on with children's study and life. Instead of staring at them, it is better to leave them a free space and give them opportunities to exercise their abilities. Give your child a confident umbrella and let him experience the storm with it. Fight life. To personally experience the taste of failure and the joy of success, and hold up a sky of your own.

Free Chickens

Bolingken Farm is a large mechanized chicken farm. There are nearly a hundred small cages in each big room, and there are two laying hens in each cage.

The cage is so small that the hen can't turn around at all. The automatic conveyor in front of the chicken coop brings them food, and the conveyor belt at the back takes away the eggs they just laid.

A visitor here found a dozen chickens wandering around not far away, and a worker was feeding them rice.

"Do you want to lead them back to the chicken coop? Can I help you? " He asked the staff.

"Thank you, I don't want to catch them," the employee said to him. "We intend to let these chickens move freely. If those guys in cages don't see a few free chickens, they will stop laying eggs because of nervousness. Without these' escape' elements. Other chickens will eventually give up hope and even die. "

These chickens made us realize how similar people's lifestyles are to those of chickens in these cages. How many people live in cages all their lives, eager to watch others take risks, pursue their dreams and enjoy freedom.

There are two kinds of chickens in the world: those who live in cages and those who are free.

children are the most eager for freedom. They are eager to breathe freely, play freely, cry freely and laugh freely ...

I hope that under the care of parents, children will not become those "chickens in cages". And become a "free chicken" that swims leisurely on the grass.

Dad is by your side

"Dad, there are new climbing toys on the wall of our kindergarten. You and I will play for a while." Five-year-old Tong Tong said happily to her father.

The father who just took his daughter out of the kindergarten classroom received such instructions from her daughter. Of course, I'd be happy to accompany you.

The newly-installed rock climbing is on the back wall of the classroom. It is not small in scale. It is a scene where all kinds of small animals play together. The height is patchy, and the highest point is the top of a big tree.

"Dad, help me." Tong Tong has started to climb up with agility.

"Never mind, figure it out by yourself. This toy is very safe. You don't need Dad to help you." Dad encouraged his daughter to climb up by herself.

at this time, Tong Tong's two pedals reached one place. Hands are twisted together, and it is obvious that it is no longer possible to change hands and climb upwards. Dad walked over and stood behind his daughter for about one meter. At this distance, her daughter would feel helpless. Dad, on the other hand, can reach out in time to help in case of danger.

"Tong Tong, try to put your feet in two places separately, and hold your hands in two places separately, so you can continue to go up." After giving his daughter a move, my father stood and looked at the struggling little girl.

Tongtong didn't ask for his father's help again, but took a step back, then re-selected the new position of his hands and feet and tried to climb up again.

What should I do if another child who is also climbing crosses with Tong Tong? Come back? Or continue to go up? Tong Tong hesitated, then cleverly avoided the position of the children's hands and feet and climbed up quickly. At this time, the height of bunch ofred grapes was beyond the reach of dad's arm. Dad moved forward and looked at his daughter who was about to reach the top.

"Oh, I succeeded. I'm at the top of the tree. " Tong Tong's excited voice rang above his father's head, and his father looked up. Tong Tong let go of one hand very smartly, turned around and waved to the crowd on the ground, just like a successful climber.

Tong Tong's father is very far-sighted. Under the premise of ensuring safety, give children some free space. Only in a state of complete freedom can children grow up healthily. Excessive protection will only break the wings that fly into the sky, and the experience of free stretching can create an eagle that fights the blue sky.

Let the children loose their wings

Once, at a banquet for Columbus' discovery of the new continent, some nobles thought that Columbus' discovery of the new continent was entirely accidental. Columbus didn't argue. He picked up an egg at the banquet and said to these nobles, "Gentlemen, can you stand this egg on the table?" Those nobles picked up the eggs, and Zuo Li stood right, but they couldn't stand, so they had to ask Columbus to stand. Columbus knocked the egg on the table and it stood still. The nobles were unconvinced and said that they would do the same. Columbus smiled and said, "The problem is that none of you smart people thought of doing this before me!" "

Although this is a joke, it shows a truth: innovative behavior often comes from "whimsy". The questions raised by innovative people are often "unexpected" and the results of thinking are often "different". There is a very interesting story: the teacher asked his classmates, "There are 1 birds in the tree. If you shoot one, how many are left?" This is a traditional brain teaser. People who are not smart enough will honestly answer "there are nine left" and smart people will answer "there is not one left". But one child reacted like this.

He asked, "Is it silent pistol?"

"No."

"How loud was the gunshot?"

"8 dB to 1 dB."

"That means it will make your ears hurt?"

"yes."

"Is it illegal to shoot birds in this city?"

"No offense."

"Are you sure that bird was really killed?"

"ok." The teacher is impatient: "Please, just tell me how many are left, OK?"

"OK, are there any deaf birds in the tree?"

"No."

"Is there anything about being in a cage?"

"No."

"Are there any other trees nearby? Are there any other birds in the tree? "

"No."

"Are there any disabled or hungry birds that can't fly?"

"No."

"Is it a bird in a pregnant belly?"

"it doesn't count."

"Do people who shoot birds have flowers? Guaranteed to be 1? "

"No flowers, just 1."

the teacher is sweating all over. But the child continued to ask: