Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - They are married. What does it matter to them?

They are married. What does it matter to them?

The first trick: On Kibo's wedding day, the bride was dressed in thin clothes, and the guests could try their best to make the newlyweds play a boxing match with each other. If they lose a punch, they will lose their clothes or jewels until they can't do it anymore. The second trick: high-heeled glasses encourage the bride to let the groom try to let him use high heels and drink three cups in a row to show his love for her. The third measure: The Round Table Warrior lets the bride and groom sit on a table with stools and drink concentric wine. The fourth measure: the apple of love, in order to show lasting love, requires the bride to peel the apple and feed it to the groom, but the apple peel is not allowed to be peeled off. If it is broken, the bride will be punished for kissing the groom for ten minutes. The fifth trick: I want you to look good and let the groom guess what color the underwear of the bride's wedding night is. Right, the bride presents a treasure, as long as she shows a little, it means she is right. Wrong guess, let the groom run around the bridal chamber three times in his underwear. The sixth trick: the passionate ice cube asks the groom to pick up the bride first. Then, two or three friends will pour the prepared ice cubes into the groom's arms, and then everyone will hug the new couple together, so that the new groom can get enough cold and jump up and down to avoid being too enthusiastic when consummating the house. The seventh trick: ambush on all sides, try to sneak into the bridal chamber in advance, hide in an imperceptible corner or wardrobe, then adjust the tape of the pre-recorded alarm whistle to the maximum, and let it out at the right time to surprise the couple, while the hidden piles hiding everywhere make trouble in the bridal chamber for a while, and then wish the couple an "early birth." The eighth trick: Love Balloons Put some balloons under the sheets so that the bride and groom can lie down together to show their loyalty and go to disaster together. The ninth trick: the chocolate cheongsam is put into the bride's cheongsam by the female VIP. "Of course, the bride is sitting", and then let the groom take all the chocolates, not missing a single one. Otherwise, the groom is asked to retrieve them one by one with his mouth. Tenth trick: Su Xiang Ke Qiao, a female friend, squeezed heart-shaped sweet liquid on the bride's chest with chocolate juice, and then let the groom lick it in public to show his soul mate. Eleventh measure: lock the bridal chamber. Lock the cave door in advance, hide the key somewhere or on a good friend, and then let the groom find it. Every time he can't find it, the bride wants her guests to kiss him once until he finds it. Twelfth trick: the wrong love crystal deliberately put the borrowed baby on the bed, causing a short misunderstanding. Thirteenth trick: Old love lets the couple repeat the most authentic original scene when they propose marriage in public. Fourteenth trick: warn the runaway wife to hide the bride somewhere, and then the groom will look for it again until he finds it before being sent to the bridal chamber. Fifteenth measure: the old love is endless, and the new love should disclose the number, appearance and history of the past male and female friends, otherwise they are not allowed to share the same bed. Sixteenth trick: Birthdays (Birthdays) Let the groom guess the correct date of birth of the bride in the lunar calendar, and if it is wrong, make a horse for the bride to ride. Seventeenth trick: speechless, buy a book "Seeing Jokes" published by Horn Press and test the couple with innovative riddles. If you can't answer, each male guest will kiss the bride for one minute. The eighteenth trick: compare the game of "comparing hands and feet" to test the tacit understanding between the two sides. The more embarrassing the question, the better. Like are you still virgins? Her measurements? Do you love me? I wear red today and go to bed at 20 o'clock. Today is beautiful (no condoms) and so on. The nineteenth trick: the mole of love. It is said that the bride has a mole three centimeters above her navel. I wonder if it's true. Can you ask the groom to unveil the mystery for the bride? The twentieth trick: yesterday, the new couple was asked to repeat the dating scene in front of everyone, including affectionate, cuddling, holding hands and other actions until the guests were satisfied. Twenty-first trick: the seven-step poem is titled from head to toe and various organs of the body. The two take turns to write poems or words, such as chest: have a well-thought-out plan; The examiner is a guest. If the guest is not satisfied with the answer, you can ask the other person to kiss the part! The 22nd trick: Peppers flying in advance are mixed with fireworks. When the bride and groom enter the bridal chamber, the gunfire is released violently, and the consequences will be cleaned up. Measure 23: The new measure requires the groom to put his arm around the bride's body and cut it three times. Only if it is not bad can he pass the test. Any one of them is wrong, and the groom will be punished for walking around the bridal chamber three times with the bride in his arms. The 24th trick: protect the flowers with spring mud. In order to show the groom's love for the bride, the groom is required to wrap two people in a big scarf in public and put on simple household clothes for the bride. If the bride dresses abnormally, the groom will be fined three glasses of wine. The 25th trick: The groom should give the wedding candy (soft candy) to the bride with his mouth. A * * * costs 30 yuan. Of course, the groom can help the bride eat. If the groom doesn't eat, other men can take his place! Twenty-sixth trick: Three-inch golden lotus lets the groom guess how many centimeters the bride's feet are. If he guessed wrong, he asked the groom to put on new high heels and walk three times in the bridal chamber. Twenty-seventh trick: there is love in spring. In order to show that the groom is powerful, he can manage the family in the future. Therefore, the groom is required to carry the bride into the bridal chamber and walk five times on the spring bed. Brides are not allowed to fall. If the groom is weak, another man can take his place. The 28th trick: Pick up the love songs and prepare some sentimental love songs. Guests will take the lead in singing, and then the groom or bride will relay. If you sing wrong or can't sing, the bride will punish the male guests for kissing, and the groom will be fined three glasses of wine, ya! Twenty-ninth trick: Let the bride lie flat on the bed first, then put some sweets in different parts of the bride's body, and then let the groom find them out with his mouth and feed them to the bride. Of course, don't forget to cover them with quilts. Thirtieth trick: demonstration condom friends kindly prepared a banana and a condom for us, so that we can demonstrate the correct use of condoms on the spot ... Thirtieth trick: Spring is precious, invite friends and relatives to bring an alarm clock, and set a different time, preferably 20 minutes, and hide it in various places of the new house. At the set time, tell the groom to get up regularly and not to fall asleep. Spring is worth a thousand dollars, so. ! Thirty-two measures: undress and tie the hands of the bride and groom, tell them to lie on the bed, help each other undress with their mouths, and then let go. Tough enough! ~ ~ That's terrible! Thirty-third measure: fuck off. Two raw eggs were put in by the groom's two trouser legs, moved upward and met at an "important place", and then moved out by the other trouser leg. Of course, this important task is carried out by the most beautiful protagonist of the day-"bride", so be careful ... or your lover will sleep with egg yolk and egg white! Step 34: change clothes and prepare a small quilt for each other. The bride and groom will exchange clothes in this "small space". Don't take off their clothes casually! Also be careful ... don't feast your eyes on the friends present! Thirty-fifth trick: lighting a cigarette means that the groom holds the bride, and the bride holds the groom's waist with her legs, and then lights a cigarette for us. Cigarettes are not very good. Some people keep blowing out the fire of lighters with their mouths, some people shake up and down, and some people blow out from cigarettes. Thirty-sixth trick: Answer the reporter's question by introducing the love history of the young couple. Then "reporters" asked the young couple questions in turn, such as where the first "phone call" was made, where the first kiss was made, and so on. Next, the young couple recreated the scene and performed the first kiss for the guests. Thirty-seventh trick: take off the bachelor's hat, and the bride sits on the bed with a rolling pin in her hand; The groom knelt at the end of the bed, dragging a washbasin with his hands on his head. The bride slammed the washbasin and asked, "Who will make money for?" The groom answers ... * * * questions 10 questions. Finally, the bride said with satisfaction, "Husband, you will have a family in the future. I hope you can live a good life and take off the bachelor hat that has been buckled on your head for xx years. " Thirty-eighth trick: the crow drinks water. This program is based on a fable. The bride sat in a chair with her head tilted back, her face facing the sky, her mouth wide open and a mouthful of tea in her mouth. There are some sweets and peanuts on the table. The groom dressed as a crow, his arms straight, his waist bent at 90 degrees, and his mouth imitated the crow and shouted "melon …". After walking beside the bride for a week, he put his head out and looked at her mouth. When he found water, he jumped on the table happily, grabbed a candy with his mouth, jumped back to the bride, stuffed the candy into her mouth with his mouth, and then leaned down and drank three mouthfuls of water. Thirty-ninth trick: Give things 10 ordinary things in the room (such as toothbrush, lipstick, remote control) into a bag, give this bag to the guests, give them 30 seconds to touch these things and let them write down as many things as possible. You can prepare two bags, put ten identical things in each bag, and then hand them to the guests separately, which will speed up the speed. The person who writes the most correctly wins. Fortieth trick: Bingo Game This game is prepared by Americans for large-scale gift-giving parties. Prepare some blank bingo cards and write "marriage" instead of "bingo" at the top. Each guest fills in the name of the gift they think the bride will receive on the bingo card. After the gift is opened, the guest checks the gift and compares it with his own handwriting. If you guess correctly, draw "√". If one person guesses a row of five correctly, they shout "Man Cang" and they are the winners. Forty-first trick: find 10 spices in the kitchen, seal each seasoning bottle with paper, and number each seasoning bottle. Write the seasoning corresponding to each number on paper, put these seasoning bottles on the tray and hand them to the guests. The guest guesses what seasoning is put in each bottle and writes down the result. After each guest reads and records the results, read the answers, and the person who guesses the most will be taken away. It is better to have elderly women among the participants in this game, and young women may get bored with this game. Forty-second trick: eat bananas, tie them with elastic ropes and hang them where the groom can jump, and the groom pulls them down with his mouth. The bride and groom peel off the skin with their mouths and eat together. In order to prevent the rope from retracting, one person has to do the action and the other person has to bite the banana, which depends on the cooperation of two people. Forty-third trick: light a match, insert the match on the red jujube and float it in a basin full of water. A lit cigarette was tied in the middle of a red line, and both ends were bitten by the couple. When you enter and I return, you can use cigarettes to light the matches in the basin together. Hold your breath and use solid "dental skills" and vision to succeed. Forty-fourth trick: prepare a plate of glass marbles with marbles, let the bride and groom each hold a chopstick, and the two of them will clip out the marbles together. May wish to invite several couples and newcomers present to compete, and the laggards to perform the program. Forty-fifth trick: If the bride and groom love literature, invite them to a poetry contest. First, the groom recites a poem, and then the bride recites it. At least one word in the sentence required to be recited is the same as the last word. In this cycle, those who don't accept it will be judged as negative, and those who don't accept it will be executed. Forty-sixth trick: the husband and wife "recognize the word" is to let the groom hold a word (or a phrase), and then ask the groom to do various actions (not talking, not rowing) to show the bride, so that the bride can "recognize" the word. When choosing words, choose those that are in line with the wedding atmosphere, such as "love", "love" and "husband and wife". Forty-seventh trick: say a nickname. The bride and groom should come up with ten nicknames to address each other, such as dear, baby, dog and meat. The more disgusting the better. If the guests are not satisfied, they can ask to speak again. Forty-eighth trick: kiss your sweetheart, the groom lies on his back in bed, and then stick the cut banana slices on his face and neck, so that the blindfolded bride can look for those banana slices with her mouth. Forty-ninth trick: let the bride and groom have a long kiss directly, for three or five minutes. Fifty strokes: Sad bed Sad bed is a song and dance game performed by the groom and sister-in-law when they are in the bridal chamber. Sister-in-law holds a plate with red paper on it, on which are chestnuts, dates, peanuts, longan and other things. The bride sat on the bed, and her sister-in-law grabbed the dried fruit and sprinkled it on the bed, singing as she sprinkled it. Everyone who made trouble in the bridal chamber listened to the song of the eldest sister-in-law, and the voices echoed. The laughter in the bridal chamber lasted all night, and the laughter and slapstick were getting louder and louder. "Saxi Bed" game is a group folk game. All the actors have sex, the sister-in-law is the protagonist, and the others are supporting roles. Because the protagonist has a great responsibility to undertake the task of invigorating the atmosphere of the bridal chamber. Therefore, the protagonist has to be carefully selected by the married family. It's as important as choosing a wedding emcee. Before marriage, the groom's whole family chooses one by one from the sisters-in-law of the same clan and neighbors. Some places choose one, and some places choose two. The protagonist of this Sassi bed selection must first be a "lucky man" with two children; You must also be able to sing and make up words; Furthermore, you should be articulate, flexible, good at reading words and observing emotions, and improvise. In addition, because it takes a long time to make the bed and the lyrics are long, it is sometimes necessary to improvise according to the specific situation, so the person who makes the bed has a strong memory and can correctly describe what he sees, hears and scenes with lyrics. Limited by these conditions, the screened sister-in-law is naturally better. As a sister-in-law, I am very proud of being valued by married people. They will try their best to help the groom's family adjust the atmosphere of the new house.