A joke to cheer up a girlfriend in a bad mood.

A joke to cheer up a girlfriend in a bad mood.

A joke that makes a girlfriend in a bad mood happy can drive away the haze in our hearts. When we are confused, we can look at such jokes to cheer ourselves up. Let's take a look at the jokes that cheer up your girlfriend who is in a bad mood.

Cheer up your girlfriend in a bad mood 1 1. The girl refused the boy's confession and said, "I am one year older than you." The boy said, "When I was 1 month, you were 13 months, and you were 13 times my age. When I was two months old, you were 14 months old, and you were seven times older than me. When I was one year old, you were two years old, and you were twice my age. We are always getting closer and closer. " The girl said, "Don't be silly. After I finished the big class, I went to my grandmother's house to go to elementary school. "

Xiaoming came back from the exam and said to his father, "Today, we had an exam." Dad said, "Do you have any questions that you can't do?" Xiao Ming said, "there is a question: what is 3 times 7?" I forgot. " Dad said, "How much did you fill in?" Xiao Ming proudly said, "Whatever, I filled in 28."

My brother is married and the bride is a nurse. One day I asked the buddy, "Why do you like her? Is it because she is beautiful? " He adjusted his glasses and said seriously, "When I was young, I was often ill. Every time those nurses and sisters will stab me with a needle, I swear I must stick it back when I grow up! "

King Jinjiao turned the gourd upside down and shouted "Monkey Sun". Wukong replied and was sucked in. He saw that besides the Monkey King, there were Song Wu, Sun Quan and Liu Er, a group of monkeys. The king was surprised: "It's just Monkey Sun. Why are you here?" At this moment, Bao Hulu spoke: "These are the people you may be interested in ..."

5. Zhang Sanfeng: "Promise, how much do you remember about my Tai Ji Chuan?" "More than half." "Not bad!" ... "How much do you remember now?" "I have forgotten more than half." "It's hard for you." ... "How much do you remember?" "I have completely forgotten." "Very well! Very good! I just made a mistake, and now I'll teach you again. "

6. Zhou Yu, Sima Yi and Cao Cao came to the underworld after their deaths. Yan: All three are outstanding talents in the world. What regrets have not been realized? Zhou Yu, Sima Yi and Cao Cao said, We all admire Zhuge Liang, so we might as well sigh. We hope to be better than Zhuge Liang in the next life. Hades: Well, as you wish. Zhou Yu, Sima Yi and Cao Cao were reincarnated together and became three cobblers when they grew up.

7. There is a monkey with bananas and durian in front. Guess which one it will choose? Bananas! Wrong. Durian? Well, durian. Why? Don't monkeys like bananas best? Because, because, sometimes monkeys, sometimes monkeys, would rather choose durian than let go.

It is said that an old man was accidentally knocked down by a luxury bus, and the old man got up immediately without saying anything. There are many comments from the onlookers: "It's good for the elderly", "The quality of the elderly in Beijing is so high that they don't touch porcelain" and "The elderly are in good health". Then the old man spoke: "Come on! When I am stupid! If you don't get up, your ass will be cooked! " .

9. On the way to work by bus, a young pregnant woman and a beautiful woman (visual inspection, best friend) sat next to me and started chatting. Pregnant woman: "I like spicy food since I had this baby!" " Beauty: A hot and sour girl must be a girl! "Pregnant woman:" Will I have a boy if I eat sour now? " Beauty: "no, it's a woman at most!" " "

10 A beggar in Lu Yu said to me with tears in his eyes, "Have pity on me, I can't remember the last time I had a full meal." I felt sorry for him and comforted him: "Don't worry, you will always remember it when you think about it slowly."

1 1, a: "Where did Brother Tai graduate?" B: "No talent, the latest college." A: "Famous schools!" B: "it's too harsh. Dare to ask your Excellency? " A: "Brufley is studying." B: "Wow! The future is boundless! " I walked by without looking at anything else. Isn't this the New East and Lan Xiang? There's nothing to show off in an ostentatious manner!

12, a woman asked a Taoist priest to exorcise ghosts and said, "Master! It's been really weird lately. First, I went up the stairs, and the wooden stairs were smashed. Then I sat in the chair, and the chair was broken! The most terrible thing is that when I sleep at night, the bed actually collapses. Please ask the master to help me! " After hearing this, the Taoist priest took out his peach wooden sword, waved it, pointed it at the woman and shouted, "You should lose weight!" " "

13, the white snake was injured and showed its original shape. Xu Xian went to the West Lake to find the boatman. Anxiously asked, "Tell me where my wife is? Where's my wife? " The boatman looked blank: "I, I don't know ..." Xu Xian grabbed the boatman like crazy: "You didn't know there was a ferry? ! "

14, it is said that to test whether a boy likes you, you can stare at him 18 seconds to see if he can kiss; To test whether a girl likes you, you can stare at her for 18 seconds to see if she will laugh. I don't think this experiment can succeed at all in Northeast China, because it is estimated that the following dialogue will take place in less than 5 seconds: "What are you staring at?" "Look at you!"

15, a lot of facts have proved that women can't be provoked: Qin Shihuang provoked Meng Jiangnv, and the newly built Great Wall was cried down; Cao Cao provoked Xiao Qiao, and Chibi was burned; Li Shimin provoked Wu Meiniang and Jiangshan was taken away; Xianfeng provoked Cixi, and the Qing Dynasty perished. Huang Shiren provoked the white-haired girl and was knocked down ... so respect every woman around you.

16, I feel uncomfortable with a cold. She texted her boyfriend "I have a cold" in bed and decided to kick him if he answered "Drink more water". After a while, the mobile phone vibrates, and the short message reads: "Open the door." This big idiot! Who sent him! She got up and rushed to the door. At this time, the mobile phone shook again. She opened the door with one hand and excitedly opened it with the other: "Breathe more fresh air and exercise more."

17, a famous disabled person in high school Chinese class. The teacher gave examples of Zhang Haidi and Hawking, and then we took it as a topic. A classmate directly stood up and said: Yang Guo! Then Mei Chaofeng and Duan Yanqing came out below, and the climax was a classmate shouting: Dong Fangbubai! The teacher got angry on the spot ... a joke to make you happy!

18, once I walked on the road and found 80,000 yuan. The landlord wants to return it to the owner in the spirit of finding money, so he has been standing in the same place, waiting, waiting, waiting! It's been more than four hours and the owner hasn't come yet. If he doesn't come to get it when something goes wrong, how can he play mahjong with few words? I am really worried about him! ! !

19, Tang Priest: Our road expenses are over. As a last resort, we must sell one of you for money. Wukong: This kind of sacrifice should be understood. Bajie: I just don't know who to abandon. Friar Sand: Give up the goods with the lowest contribution. Seeing everyone's eyes glancing at himself intentionally or unintentionally, Bai quickly reminded Tang Priest: Master! Who will ride instead of me? ! Tang priest smiled with relief, and then Bai was sold …

20. On that day, I chatted with my father: "Dad, if you are young, you will suffer more. Maybe I am the rich second generation, the official second generation. " Dad said, "You are suffering more now. Your son is a rich second generation and an official second generation." Me: "Why should I suffer and let that little bastard enjoy happiness?" Dad: "That's what I thought ..."

Jokes make a girlfriend in a bad mood happy 2 1. I said, "You are a pig." You said, "I am a pig!" " From now on, I will call you a pig. Finally one day, you can't help yelling at me in front of everyone: "I'm not a pig!" " "

The nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, so she went over and whispered to him, "sweetheart!" " The patient smiled and said, "Little baby."

3. Someone rode into the street, crossed an intersection and dropped his hand. The traffic police exclaimed after seeing it: "Good palm!" Someone waved happily and replied, "Comrades have worked hard!" "

4. The heart is such a strange thing that it can contain so much love! I put you in the deepest part of my heart, only to find that my heart is a very fragile little thing: there is no room for deception, no room for separation, no room for you to leave!

If you don't love me, I'm worried. The world is full of beautiful women, but not as gentle as you!

6, give me a second, I will miss you, give me a minute, I will care about you, give me a whole day, I will miss you, give me a lifetime, I will protect you, give me a short message, I will say: I miss you!

7. It takes one day to wait for a sunrise; It takes January to wait for the full moon; It takes a year to wait for a flower to bloom; Wait all your life and love you all your life. Love you forever.

8. I have never been a thief, but I want to steal a happiness for you! I have never lied to anyone, but I want to lie to you about happiness! Never hurt anyone, but I want to give you a happy turn! I have never depended on anyone, but I want to deprive you of peace!

9. At different times, in different places, in different languages, stories related to you were written shallowly. The same feelings, the same smiling faces, and the same feelings are all photocopied with constant love for you. In a word, love you, two words, forever.

10, don't ask how vigorous our love is, don't ask how sad our love is, don't ask if our love has an afterlife, just want our love to be flat and light in this life, and join hands for life.

1 1. No matter whether life is wandering or wandering, I will keep you in my heart, let deep feelings impact my heart every day, let my pulse beat all my thoughts, and let information convey the hope of loving you forever.

12, baby: don't feel tired, just rest; Don't feel hungry before eating; Don't feel cold before adding clothes; Don't be sleepy before you miss me. Take care of yourself and your health!

13. A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University!

14, baby, don't forget to cover the quilt at night, lest you cry when you catch a cold; Pay attention to the change of temperature during the day, and it is uncomfortable to catch cold and get sick; Don't spend too much time online at night, lest you get up late and miss the time. Be relaxed, happy and healthy.

15. One day, an elephant was taking a bath. Suddenly an ant came up to the elephant and said. You stand up. Stand up at the beginning. Ants! You sit down. The elephant asks the ant what you want to do. Stand for a while, sit for a while. Ants answer! I lost my underwear. Let me see if you stole it.

16, the director and the section chief * * * take the elevator. After the director farted, he said to the section chief, "You farted." The section chief said, "I didn't fart." Soon, the section chief was fired. The secretary said at the meeting: "You can't afford to take care of big things. What's the use of asking you? "

17, a lazy cat madly pursued a mouse and finally got married. After marriage, the cat took care of the mouse in every way, and the mouse soon became fat. The mouse was very moved: "Dear, why are you so kind to me!" " The cat smiled and said, "You'll know when you get fat.

18. Every time I look in the mirror, I always encourage myself mentally: "I am very creative. Ugliness is not my intention. God, don't lose your temper. I will live bravely and use my endless creativity. To set off the beauty of this world! Actually, I am really, really creative.

19, friends went climbing together. At the top of the mountain, a girl shouted at the beautiful mountains and rivers: motherland! My mother! A boy who secretly loves her quickly shouted: motherland! My mother-in-law

20. I bought two puppies before, one called you "face" and the other called myself "ass"! It's not two days since my face died in a car accident. Every time I see my ass, I think of your face! If your face were still there, it would be as big as your ass now!

Jokes make a girlfriend in a bad mood happy 3 1. A man with a dog said angrily to the owner of a pet shop.

A man with a dog said angrily to the owner of a pet shop, "You sold this dog to me as a doorman. Last night, a thief came into my house and stole my 300 yuan money, but the dog didn't even say a word? " The boss rolled his eyes: "The dog's previous owner was a millionaire, and he didn't care about the 300 yuan at all."

2. Prison break succeeded.

One day, a nurse in a mental hospital received a phone call. The man asked, "Miss, go and see if the patient in bed 4 of 13 is still there?" The nurse said, "Please wait a moment." After a while, the nurse said, "Oh, he's gone! ! ! "The person on the phone said," That's good! It seems that this time I really ran out ... "

3. Uncle asks for directions

Uncle asked the girl the way: How can I get to the Public Security Bureau? Girl: Do you want to walk? Or by car? Uncle: Can I go by bus? By car, of course! So the girl handed the wallet in her arms to her uncle: Take this. After the uncle took the wallet, the girl immediately shouted: robbery! Ten minutes later, uncle left the scene in the van of the public security bureau.

Can you give me some cakes?

Beggar: "Sister, I haven't eaten for two days. Can I have some cake? " ? Big sister: "Cake? I only have rice here! ! "？ Beggar: "Forget it if it's normal, but today is my birthday!" " "

5. What should I do if I lose my mobile phone?

First of all, wear a suit and glasses, hold a briefcase in your left hand and a pen in your right hand; Then, look serious and walk calmly; Finally, choose a middle school at random, walk to the back door of a class, and then look around with glasses. When you see those who bow their heads, go up and knock on the table twice, and the students will take the initiative to hand over their mobile phones, and then leave calmly and fly out of the school gate ~ ~