New Year's Day is approaching, and I want to rehearse a drama with the theme of "Thanksgiving". Kneel for relevant materials, scripts, lines, etc.

Opening: There is a table and three chairs on the stage. One person is sleeping in a chair, and the other one is reading the newspaper lazily with his feet on the table. This is a girl coming (that is, the host).

Moderator (also examiner): (very angry, knocking on the table) Hey! Hey! Hey! Get up! It's time to start work.

Oh, I said that you two, you ... the/kloc-0.3 billion national audience in front of the TV, have always supported our/kloc-0.3 billion fans. How do you remember? I really feel confused about you! At this time, the boy who has been sleeping lazily raised his head and stretched himself. )

Master Meng (that is, sleeping boy): It's noisy, noisy! I was dreaming just now, but now you woke me up. Alas? Guess what? Do you know what dream I just had? Just now, I dreamed that I was sitting on the "Chang 'e I" and chatting with Chang 'e's sister about life philosophy!

Dongpo (the boy reading the newspaper): I feel dizzy. Can you be realistic? Don't you smell a strange smell? Ha ha ha-(looking at his feet on the table)

Master Meng: Ah … you! ..... ah! (Kuqiang) What's wrong with this ... What's wrong with this? And feet that stink worse than me! No, I can never be the second in the world, absolutely impossible, I will always be the first in the world-smelly feet! ! !

Compere: You really confuse me! You see, people who want to interview have lined up for 5 thousand meters, from Changping to Chang 'an Avenue. CCTV, Beijing TV, Changping TV and China University of Political Science and Law TV are all broadcasting live to us. So now, every move and every word you say, you must bear legal responsibility.

Su Dongpo: Then, then let's get started! As if I didn't want to start, this man!

Master Meng: Yes, she likes to talk about me best. I just slept for a day and a night plus 24 hours!

Dongpo (to the hostess): Call! Call it the beginning. Why is it so slow?

You really confuse me! alas ......

(The host turns around, apologizes and officially announces the start of the interview. )

Moderator: Good evening, dear classmates, dear teachers, and friends from the first billion viewers on TV. Welcome to the job interview site of our "quasi-philosopher" association. Today is the first interview for our "Quasi-Philosopher" Association, so this time our organizer, China University of Political Science and Law Class 07, prepared a small gift for all the friends present. The gifts include a batch of newly unearthed fragments of Zhouyi, plus a eight-diagram diagram, as well as the classic works of Socrates, Plato, Hegel, Kant and Marx. Of course, the most attractive gift is-please contact the life Committee of philosophy class to get the gift after the end (the host can read it aloud on paper).

Dongpo: Come on, come on. Stop seducing everyone and get to the point!

Compere: All right then! Now I solemnly introduce the examiner for this interview. The first one is Master Meng (pointing to Master Meng). Teacher Meng, can you talk about your feelings about philosophy?

Master (standing up): You don't need a reason to fall in love with philosophy. If you love her, take her to study philosophy.

Moderator: The second appearance is Mr. Su Dongpo (referring to Dongpo). Teacher Su, can you tell us the benefits of studying philosophy?

Dongpo: It's good to study philosophy. Whoever learns knows, I won't say anything about ordinary people!

Moderator: Next is the third examiner in this interview, that is, me. I am the examiner and the host. What I want to say to philosophy is: philosophy, very good, everything is possible to learn philosophy.

Ok, the interview of our "Quasi-Philosopher Association" is now officially started. Please welcome the first interviewer.

(The four interviewers are: Ling Huchong, Mulan, Supreme Treasure and Jane Eyre)

"When Ling Huchong came to power, he walked around in front of three examiners as if nothing had happened."

Master Meng (somewhat awed): Hello, hello. I said, man, what's your name?

Ling Huchong: (glancing at him, then reaching out his right hand, jumping back with his feet, standing still and lifting his hair with his hands) Actually, I am Ling Huchong, a great disciple of Huashan School!

Dongpo: Oh, it's your young Xia. I've heard a lot about you!

Ling: (holding out his right hand) Wrong. To be exact, it's called Linghu Shaoxia.

Moderator: I said, Linghu Shaoxia, you are a good soldier, but you came to Changping to join our "quasi-philosopher" association. Are you facing away from the darkness?

Ling Huchong: (After seeing the host, the application immediately changed 180 degrees and became very docile) Yes, yes, sister, you are absolutely right. I just want to abandon the darkness and cast my light on it. I will become a quasi-philosopher in the future and see my sister every day. ...

Master Meng (touching his mouth with his hand and looking unhappy): Cough, cough. I said, Ling Huchong, since you're here, I can't let you come for nothing. I still want to test you-please talk about your understanding of life.

Ling Huchong (eyes turned from the host to Meng Fuzi, attitude became cold) life? Life? Hey, let me tell you this (it's heavy). My master, Yue Buqun, once told me that life is like a box of chocolates (take out a piece of chocolate while talking), and the taste in it is only known to those who eat chocolate (eat chocolate). How can I summarize it?

Dongpo: Well, your master Yue Buqun is still good, so I decided to take your master.

Ling Huchong: Sorry, this sentence was actually said by my master's master.

Master Meng: Then forget it. You'd better give your opinion.

Ling Huchong: (slowly raising his head, deeply, deeply) Actually, life is like a feather in the air, floating in the wind. I don't know where it came from or where it will go. But I believe that I will control my own destiny, and I will try my best to give full play to the strength and wisdom given to me by God. I can definitely look back at this world and sigh: Although I have never been earth-shattering and vigorous in my life, I will never regret it, because I have interviewed in the Quasi-Philosopher Association, and I hope my life can be anchored in the Quasi-Philosopher Association (I look at the host affectionately). I will continue to work hard for the benefit of the Association of Quasi-Philosophers. Join this great cause of mankind! !

(Ling Huchong said, throwing his hands into his fist, strode with a wave of his arm and left without looking back).

Dongpo: Alas, Ling Huchong, please stay.

(Ling Huchong stops to look back)

Su Dongpo: Do you have any chocolate? ……

(Ling Huchong quits)

Compere: Alas, this child, why does he always look at me? I blushed.

Okay, next interviewer.

(Mulan kicks in. )

At the end of the report, Mulan is waiting for an interview.

Master Meng: Why is this like an old hand?

Dongpo: I said, are you a man or a woman?

Mulan: (very confident) It doesn't matter whether you are a man or a woman! The most important thing is that I am alone. If I were a man, I might be a man or a woman, but a man or a woman. It must be a person first. Have you ever seen anyone who is not human? Have you ever heard that it belongs to men but not to men and women? Have you ever seen a man and a woman? Have you ever met anyone who is neither a man nor a woman?

So (pause), men and women are the unity of opposites, so men are women and women are men. The sooner you say this paragraph, the better.

Master Meng: I feel dizzy.

Moderator: Mom, this sentence is good XX!

Dongpo: Oh, my God!

Mulan: (Super narcissism) God? There is no God in this world, and there are many people who believe in God, so you people created God, but you still think that God created you, poor human beings! (Very sympathetic)

Master: (thumbs up) awesome, classic, incisive, master, superman, god!

Mulan: Actually, I didn't say it. Lu Xun and Marx said it.

The old man Marx taught us that we should break with theism completely. Haha ~

Moderator: Mulan, you are actually very talented in philosophy, so we really hope you can join us.

Mulan: Ah! I was admitted, thank God, thank the earth, thank Guanyin and the Jade Emperor, and thank Uncle Lu Xun.

Under Mulan

Host: Are you kidding? You have changed your outlook on the world and life so quickly. He also said that he would "completely break away." He really doesn't believe it, alas! So helpless, what's wrong with these young people now? This is ~

Okay, next, huh? (looking at the list in his hand) It's called the Supreme Treasure. The name is familiar!

Next, Supreme Treasure (raising his voice)

On the Supreme Treasure

Supreme Bao trotted along, greeted the audience while running, and blew kisses from time to time. Supreme treasure turned around the table and finally stared at the hostess's face for a long time. )

Zunbao: Sister Xia Zi, you don't even know me. I am the supreme treasure, the supreme treasure in a Chinese odyssey. You used to call me Bao Er. Have you forgotten?

Master Meng: Oh, son, I understand your feelings. You don't see that a beautiful woman lacks strength. You go crazy when you meet a beautiful woman. Boy, you used this trick when I chased Li Qingzhao. It's too vulgar. Let's change it!

Supreme treasure: (to Master Meng) No, son, you are wrong, you are too young! Do you know the philosophy of love? Do you know the origin of the universe? Do you know love through time and space?

Master Meng: Another master. Hey, Bao Er, can you share it with me?

Moderator: Yes, yes, Bao Er, please share your thousand-year love with everyone!

Dear friends, whenever night falls, when you look up at the sky, you will find that the universe is really big, and you can't see the edge. At the same time, you will find that you are really small and you forget your existence. However, the probability of meeting her in my life is so small that you think life is just like the first time. However, a thousand years have passed, and when I suddenly look back, I find that it was a thousand-year-old tear of hers that stayed in my heart, bright and clear. This is a sudden awakening-what is eternal in the universe is love, not black holes and dark matter.

Moderator: Dude, don't say this in front of Hawking! But what you said is still reasonable.

Zunbao: Xia Zixian, this is my heartfelt words. I was really wrong, and I really regret it.

(Turn around) Once there was a pure love in front of me. If you don't cherish it, you will regret it if you lose it. The most painful thing in the world is this. If God could give me another chance to start over, which girl would I say three words (stop for a minute) I love you? If I have to add a time limit to this love, I hope it is-ten thousand years! (Sighing, wiping his eyes)

Su Dongpo: How touching!

Master Meng: (sad, sympathetic) Bao Er, you are pathetic! God is so unfair!

Moderator: I am so happy! I'm talking about Xia Zi, haha ~ All right, you can go. Next, Jane Eyre.

(sovereign treasure depressed)

Jane Eyre

(Jane Eyre comes leisurely with headphones)

When Jane Eyre saw three examiners, she showed a happy expression on her face and walked quickly to them at once.

Jane Eyre: Excuse me, do your aunt and two uncles need tutoring? I am a person who can only speak English. I can be your English tutor. English is very important now, especially CET-4 and CET-6.

Moderator: Stop! Everyone knows the importance of CET-4 and CET-6. I don't think you need to introduce it more!

Dongpo: I said, son, did you not sleep well today, or did you drink too much at the hometown party last night, and you didn't even know what you were doing or who you were talking to.

Jane Eyre: What? Isn't this an employment agency? I came to Changping by 345 at 5 o'clock this morning to find a part-time job!

Host: 5 o'clock? Son, are you sure it's 345 or 9 19? Was there a car then?

Moderator: Jane, I don't think you really slept well. This is not an employment agency. This is the recruitment site of Quasi-Philosophers Association of China University of Political Science and Law. You may have taken the wrong bus. Alas, poor child!

Jane Eyre: Alas, life is wonderful. My little accident led me to write 543 down as 345, and I came to Changping unconsciously. In fact, I was going to Xuanwu, but I didn't expect to come to your "quasi-philosopher" recruitment site inexplicably. Oh! Life is accidental and inevitable!

Dongpo: Wonderful! Wonderful! Jane, what you said is wonderful. Life is accidental and inevitable! Countless accidents will inevitably lead to necessity, and countless necessities will inevitably lead to more accidents.

Alas, life is destined to be accidental, accidental, endless and endless, alas. ...

Jane Eyre: Are you a philosopher? You are so talented!

Dongpo: Well, everyone thinks I'm a writer. Actually, my other occupation is a philosopher. I just accidentally wrote a few articles full of philosophical wisdom. Everyone thinks I'm a writer. Alas! It's all accidental!

Master: Philosophy is actually in life, right beside you. In your conversation, philosophy is close at hand. Everyone is a philosopher. Jane, you have a unique analysis of the relationship between inevitability and contingency in life. We've decided to have you!

Jane Eyre: Alas! Life is accidental, nothing is impossible!

(Jane Eyre)

After the interview, the host made a concluding speech.

Moderator: How time flies! In a blink of an eye, our interview will be over. Dear friends, through interviews, we found that philosophy is not as boring as you think. Philosophy exists in life and transcends it. As long as you appreciate and experience life with your heart, you will find that everyone will become a great philosopher. Finally, thank you for coming. The interview is over.

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