Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - What are the sentences that shocked you when you first read them!

What are the sentences that shocked you when you first read them!

1. Evening love is worse than hay.

2. Blow out the reading light, and the whole body is covered with the moon.

3. "Look, this child is so sensible."

"How do you know if she is afraid, silent and compromised?" -"Dog Thirteen"

4. "You are a bright light on Xizi Lake, and the boat outside Chung Shan Man is a little moon that frowns slightly when bending over and kissing the lake."

If the evening breeze is gentle, I want to run to you and miss you.

6. "When two surnames get married, they are contracted together. The marriage lasts forever and matches the same name. Look at the peach blossoms burning today, and IKEA in Yi Shi will be full of fruits and vegetables in the coming year. With the promise of Whitehead, I am willing to write a letter to Hong, so that the alliance of Hongye can be well documented. This certificate. " -Republic of China marriage certificate

To tell the truth, I hope you are happy now.

After all, when you are thirty,

Buy a dress that I liked when I was eighteen,

It doesn't make sense anymore. /kloc-the cat on the 0/7 floor

8. I will give you a new section of the Milky Way and teach you not to feel inferior to this fireworks world.

9. "The fatigue and obscurity of barren winter will end with fright, and we will enter a beautiful and bright spring. In this season, I will accompany you to watch the ups and downs of day and night, and I will accompany you to experience the change of air from cold to hot. "

10. I still feel that it is not enough to squeeze out all the tenderness in my bumpy life and give myself to you.

165438+

12. After Daiyu's death, Baoyu went to Huang Quan Road to look for her, met two imps and asked him what he was doing: "This Yinsiquan Road, you are not dead yet, how did you end up here?"

"I heard that an old friend died, so I searched here and didn't feel lost."

"Who is the old friend?"

"Gusu Lin Daiyu."

Baoyu only called Daiyu by her full name this time.

13. I suddenly like the word "glance". Love at first sight is too superficial, love over time is too pale, others are flirting, I only peek at you.

14. If a woman's wisdom can't control her beauty, then her beauty will be a disaster.

15. Drying and the like will only produce moss and will not bloom.

16. If you wear the mask for too long, it will grow on your face, and then you want to take it off unless it hurts your muscles and skin. -Lu Xun

17. Life is a gorgeous robe full of fleas. -Zhang Ailing's Genius Dream

18. You asked me if it was worth loving you. In fact, you should know that love is not worth asking. -Zhang Ailing's Half-Life

19. How dare I grow old before you come? -Zhang Ailing

20. For people who can't speak, clothes are a language, and pocket play is carried with you. -Zhang Ailing

2 1. photos are just the broken shell of life; As the years passed, melon seeds were swallowed one by one, and everyone knew the taste, leaving only messy black and white melon seeds for everyone to see. -Zhang Aipeng's "Lianhuantao"

22. Wine is in the stomach, but things are in the heart. There always seems to be a layer in the middle. No amount of wine can be submerged in your heart.

23. If memory has a taste, it is the fragrance of camphor, sweet and safe, like a clear piece of music, sweet and melancholy, like a forgotten sadness. -"Change clothes"

24. Life is just a beautiful and desolate gesture. -Zhang Ailing

25. Become famous early, but you won't be so happy if you come too late.

26. It doesn't matter if life is bitter, as long as your lover returns to China.

27. A Xin sang Tender at the concert. He said, "Do you have your cell phone? Take it out and call someone you like. I want to sing a gentle song to him. " The whole world is dark, leaving only the faint light from the screen of the audience's mobile phone, connecting them with the people they like. -"tenderness"

28. People who listen to stories always look forward to adventure; The people in the story just want peace.

29. Whoever proofreads the time will suddenly get old.

30. Sir, this life is burning, please water it with cold water, hurt it with indifference, let it cool, let it behave and make it hopeless. This heart is tied to you, regardless of Jingwei. Please get rid of it and leave me alone.

3 1. The shoulders of teenagers should bear the grass, the long warbler sound and the cool breeze and bright moon.

Girls' skirts can be called all tenderness and midsummer.

32. Remember to leave a copy of Romance and Spoil in this World for your mother.

33. Ross said that when the little prince left,

Of course I love you,

Didn't make you think,

This is my fault.

Give me two minutes to kiss me, or I will buy ten cups of milk tea when I get angry and turn myself into a pig. Don't think turning me into a pig won't affect you. The Chinese New Year is coming, and everyone wants to take a little pig home.

35. I would like to reach out and hold the broken moon in the water for another 10 thousand times. Everything is empty, but it doesn't matter.

36. Nobody wants to see old friends. After all, those years were like a joke, and the fig leaf of adults was like underwear. Who dares to take it off for you until you meet naked? It is ridiculous to insist that everyone has no bad feelings. Besides, even after three or five years, I will still learn from these mistakes. I hate people's hearts like water and make waves casually. I can be happy on my chest or walk in the wind. Even if I hide evil people, I can't tolerate a repeat customer. ? -wandering rouge horse

37. In midsummer, white porcelain plum soup hits the wall.

38. The saw in my heart has been sawed for half a year without stopping for a moment, but sometimes it becomes a chainsaw.

39.alley

It's curved and long.

There is no door

There are no windows.

I took an old key.

Knocking on the thick wall

-"Lane" from Gu Cheng

40. Don't let the future steal the present.

4 1. I will still take a bullet for you, but I won't invite you to breakfast again.

42. Tell my friend about you. He asked me if you dragged me into love. I said I don't know. I have always been afraid of water and dare not fall. Maybe I just sat on the shore and hung my feet in the water. That was a close call. Later, when I tried to uproot myself from your territory, I found that you were not a river, but a swamp. ?

43. Weeds grow in people's hearts, and there are no flowers.

44. We climbed to the top of the mountain and sat at night without seeing anything. I want to gouge out two eyes, cut the moon in half and stuff it into the left eye socket and the right eye socket. When I cry, a meteor will fall. Remember to make a wish

45. The hand of autumn extends my night to you. I collected your smile from the foam of green fireflies. Your mouth is frozen grapes. Only the thin edge of the moon will become cold enough for me to kiss, like your lips. You are close to me, and I feel the blink of an eye in the dark.

I loved you yesterday, but I don't love you today. Let's talk about it tomorrow.

47. Someone tried to touch my head, and I subconsciously dodged, but someone stood there, and I just wanted to hold his hand for years.

48. I love you if you are a rainstorm.

49. Your talent is only enough for my illness 19 days. -"Make Eyes" Mu Xin Mu Xin

I don't know how to interpret loneliness. Is it sharp or smooth? Is it soft or hard, soft or peeled? Was it born on the sea in the cool breeze and bright moon, or was it a lonely forest and low hills? Is it precocity in Seeds of Love, or disappointment that can't be let go for a long time? Are you drunk with the wind, or are you crying in the hot sun? I don't know any of this. I only know your name, which is enough for me to drink a pot.

5 1. There are four things that people can't be too persistent in this life, one is long, the other is right and wrong, the third is good and evil, and the fourth is life and death.

"Perseverance is sometimes a virtue, but if it is too entangled for a long time, it is easy to be swayed by considerations of gain and loss, and you can't see the road under your feet; If you are too entangled in right and wrong, it is easy to walk into a dead end. There are not so many absolutely yes or absolutely no things in the world. Too obsessed with good and evil, there is no room for sand in your eyes, and sometimes you are self-righteous. I hope the rules will change according to your edges and corners, and you will always be disappointed; If you are too obsessed with life and death, your vision will be small, and you can only be a second-class person in this life.

52. I thought I could see the sea through the desert, but I didn't expect the desert and the desert to be connected.

53. Over the years, when you meet a Buddha, you worship him, when you meet a temple, you enter the temple, when you are in trouble, your eyebrows droop, and when you are happy, you are merciful. Self-proclaimed vajrayana means bodhicitta, a journey to and from the world. When I saw your ankle, I realized that the scriptures of the first half of my life were copied in vain.

54. She, she's very kind. She should sit in my heart, like a proud little royal highness. If she wants to be arrogant, I will spoil her. If she wants to be gentle, I will accompany her for a long time. Dare not fall on her, remember to be kind and gentle, and take it lightly.

People often see me lying on the couch, soft as water, just for you.

56. If you ask me, girls have their own beautiful ways. Some eyes are cold, like a whole season of snow melting in her eyes. Some dimples are sweet, and when she smiles, all the rumors in the mountains and plains need news. Some are born soft, and you touch her like a cloud. Some people can give birth to a shallow fragrance when sweating, and feel the clouds between heaven and earth. Why is it not beautiful? If she is thin, you can see that she stretches gracefully, just like a swan stretches its neck. If she is full, you can see how beautiful her skin is when it shines in the sun. If she has spots, praise her for her beauty. God cast a faint shadow on her eyes and nose. If she bends down, you will praise her for being small and delicate, just hold her in your arms. You see, girls are born unreasonably beautiful.

I clearly remember a moment in A Dream of Red Mansions. At that time, Baoyu took the gold medal to make trouble, coaxed her to play with herself, and said that he would ask for a wife for her. Jin Chai is the point of drowsiness. After hearing this, he smiled and went back to Baoyu. "Jin Chai fell into the well, you have yours." Later, Jinchuan really became a water goddess, and Baoyu finally couldn't catch his golden hairpin and shed a tear. Now that I think about it, it was the first time that I suddenly understood the meaning of "resignation" in my feelings. I embroidered this word into a talisman and spent many disasters together. I lost more than a tear before swallowing the sentence "I see how charming the green hills are, but the green hills can't see me". After all, what is mine is mine.

58. I took off the golden armor for you, cleaned up a skill, and sealed the golden cudgel in my ear. I would like to fall into the world of mortals for your spring-like lips and be a mortal. You sighed, turned your eyes to the horizon, brushed my hand and said, wait for your invincible hero to stand on the colorful auspicious clouds.