Jokes about AC Milan

To each other

Gagliani said to his wife: "You are so disgusting! Why did you cut your hair short without consulting me? What are you saying?" His wife He retorted: "Didn't you just go bald without consulting me?"

Lead the way

Seedorf was waiting for a tryst with Milani at the entrance of a shopping mall. In order to make use of his time, Seedorf did some sprinting exercises that he had not done in the morning training. An old lady came over and said with concern: "Child, come with me, I will take you to the nearest toilet!"

Chasing the red light

Cafu has just joined Milan. During his first physical training, Ancelotti pointed to a nearby small red light and said: "You just need to run to that light and turn back. Do you understand?" Cafu replied: "No problem."

Who knew that after Cafu left, he would only come back three days later. His teammates asked anxiously: "Where have you been? Why did it take you so long to come back?" Cafu exhaled and said: "Oh my God, then The little red light turned out to be the taillight of a truck, which drove all the way to Barcelona! "

Deception

Nesta asked Ancelotti for a day off from training, saying that he I'm going to attend my sister's wedding. Ancelotti asked him to wait outside the door, and after a while, he called Nesta in. Ancelotti said to Nesta: "You are lying! I just called your sister, and she said she got married a year ago." After hearing this, Nesta smiled and said: "You are lying. His abilities are greater than mine, and I don’t have a sister at all.”

In a few months, Gattuso is learning Eastern etiquette. He always bowed to others and it was over. Everyone said that he had poor etiquette. Later Pirlo taught him: "When you bow, count 'January, February...' in your heart and count until 'ten' February', and then straighten up, the etiquette will naturally be thorough."

So, after a day's league game with Roma, he saw Sensi off the court and did the same thing. This time he bowed too long. Sensi was startled and walked away. Gattuso looked up and saw that Sensi was gone. He asked Pirlo next to him: "In what month did Sensi leave?"

Dividing areas

Antou assigned the scope of responsibilities to the players before the game. He drew a piece on the right side of the backcourt on the tactical blackboard and said to Simic: "This is yours."

He drew another piece on the left and said to Kaladze: "This is yours."

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Everyone has finished drawing and clear the blackboard.

Gatuso said: "Coach, have you forgotten, where am I?"

"Oh, by the way." An Tou bent down to pick up the chalk head and drew it in front of the opponent's door. "You are not from here."

Horse racing

Gattuso: Brother Pirlo, the horse you introduced to me caused me to lose a lot of money!

Pirlo: Really? I won a lot of money because of it!

Gattuso: Impossible! Yesterday it came in last every time!

Pirlo: So I lose if I buy it!

Late

Ancelotti roared at Serginho angrily: "You were two hours late for training. Why?"

" Forgive me, something bad happened to me," Serginho replied.

"What happened?"

"I fell from upstairs."

"Which floor do you live on?"

"Third floor."

"What, third floor?!" Ancelotti roared again, "Is this ridiculous? Does it take so long to fall from the third floor?"

The parrot killed Kaka

One day, Maldini found that his sewer was blocked, so he called Kaka to help repair it. Kaka promised to come tomorrow afternoon. Because it was during Maldini’s training time, Maldini said: “I will put the key under the doormat, and you can come in by yourself.

I have a dog, which is big, but very well-behaved, so don’t be afraid. I also have a parrot, which talks a lot. Remember, no matter what the parrot tells you, you must not talk! Remember, never talk to a parrot! ”

Although Kaka was confused, he still agreed.

The next day, Kaka arrived at Maldini’s house on time and started to clear the sewer. The dog was indeed very good, and the parrot kept Although Kaka couldn't stand it, he remembered that Maldini ignored him. After a while, Kaka finally couldn't bear it anymore and shouted at the parrot: "Shut up, you big stupid bird!" "The parrot was stunned for a moment. Kaka thought his yelling had some effect. Then, he heard the parrot imitating Maldini's voice and said to the dog: "Bite him! "

A scream came from the toilet...

Promotion

A whitening product was promoted in Milan.

The salesman blew It was so exciting that everyone in Milan was excited, and the horse team asked: "Has anyone used this product? Seedorf said: "I have used it!" ..."

Everyone fled in panic.

Would you like it?

"Gira, why haven't I seen you playing golf with Vieri recently? ? "Inzaghi asked.

"You move the ball with your feet when you're not looking - would you like to play with a guy like that? " Gilardino replied.

"Well, I don't want to. "Inzaghi also admitted.

"Vieri is not willing either. " Gilardino replied.

Stingy

Serginho is famous for being stingy.

One day, Serginho and his daughter A friend went out to play, and passed by a flower shop. His girlfriend walked in with ulterior motives, looking at this flower and smelling that flower. Serginho followed patiently.

, Serginio’s girlfriend picked up a bouquet of roses and asked Serginio with a charming face: “Does it look good? Serginho replied honestly: "It looks good." His girlfriend asked again in a coaxing way: "Is it really good-looking?" "Serginho nodded affirmatively, but still didn't say anything. Serginho's girlfriend finally couldn't help but remind him: "I think it looks good too, and I like it very much. ”

Serginho said sincerely: “If you like it, then watch it for a while.” "

Picking up girls

Seedorf wanted to know Inzaghi's experience in conquering beauties.

Inzaghi said, "This is too easy! I sat in front of the TV to see which beauty presenter was the prettiest, and then called her and said, ‘Hi, hello, I’m Inzaghi, will you go on a date with me? '"

Seedorf silently took note of Inzaghi's words.

A few days later, Inzaghi called Seedorf to ask how things were going: "Seedorf, How are your plans to pick up girls? "

Seedorf said: "Not bad. I sat in front of the TV, fell in love with a beautiful woman, and then called her... She complimented me on my sense of humor..."

Inzaghi was very curious: "Really? What did she say? "

Seedorf said: "She said to me: 'Inzaghi, you are pretending to be Seedorf! It made me laugh! '"

GO GO GO

One night, Kaka and Kafu were riding motorcycles to the suburbs. Kaka found a ditch in front of them and shouted: "Gutter ditch—— "

Kafu then said: "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh..."

The two fell into the ditch together.

Do not abuse pets

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One day, Seedorf was singing in his room when he suddenly heard someone knocking on the door. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see the old lady next door.

The old lady asked: "Press." It is a community rule that pets cannot be abused. Did you know? ”

Seedorf was surprised: “You know, I don’t have a pet?” "

The old lady was even more surprised: "Then the howling like a killing pig just now, didn't it come from your room? ”

Ask for directions

Not long after Kaka arrived in Milan, he went to a Brazilian restaurant. Because he was not familiar with the road, he asked an old man, who pointed out the way.

A few days later, Kaka wanted to eat Brazilian food again, but he had a bad memory and got lost in the same place. He happened to meet the old man from last time and asked for directions again. The old man was shocked: "Little brother, you haven't found it yet." Huh? "

An unexpected apology

When Thomason received a pot of cactus, Stamford asked him if it was from his wife. He said yes and explained that they had had a big fight and she might have sent it as an apology. Thomason asked Stahu to read him the words on the card. Stahu opened the card, and it read in big red letters: Sit on it.

Don’t yell too loudly

Not long ago, Cafu accompanied Serginho to a familiar private dental clinic to seek medical treatment. Unexpectedly, when he got there, it turned out that the old doctor had something wrong. When he went out, a young doctor came to treat him. Serginho had a tooth decay, and the young man got rid of it in a few moments.

"Okay!" He said proudly.

"Oh! Doctor, you really have a chance, you don't feel any pain at all...but it feels a little different!"

Oh - it turns out that the doctor not only pulled out the There was a cavity in the tooth, and the good tooth next to it was also pulled out!

"What did you do! I want to complain..."

The doctor lowered his voice: "Stop shouting! Otherwise, others will hear you, and you will have to do it again." I'll settle the payment for the other tooth with you!"

I don't understand

One day, Inzaghi, who was also a roommate, said to Rui Costa who had just gotten up: " Hey, you were talking in your sleep last night. "

"Really? So what did I say? ”

“How do I know. ”

“Didn’t you hear that? "

"Yes, but you said it in Portuguese. "

Throw me a flower

Dida: "I stood under my girlfriend's window and sang a love song to her, and she threw me a flower. ”

Nesta: “Then what happened to the injury on your head?” "

Dida: "Oh, she forgot to take the flowers out of the pot. "

Breakfast and Appetite

In the early morning, Baresi was walking on the road. A homeless man came towards him, and Baresi said hello in a cultured manner: "Good morning! "

"Good morning, what are you doing out so early? ”

Barresi replied: “I’m going out for a walk to see if I can increase my appetite for breakfast.” Baresi then asked, "What do you want to do when you come out so early?" "

The wandering Khan replied: "I'm going out for a walk to see if I can get some breakfast for my appetite. "

Law-abiding Gattuso

The traffic police saw Gattuso struggling to push the car on the street, so he walked over and asked: "Sir, is there something wrong? Or out of gas? "

Gattuso: "Oh, that's not the case. Just because I just discovered that I forgot to bring my driver's license. ”