Urgent! ! ! English jokes with translation

(1) A conductor had just signaled the train to start when he saw a beautiful girl standing by an open door on the platform, talking to another beautiful girl in the carriage.

"Come on, miss!" He shouted. "Please close the door!"

"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she replied.

"Please close the door," the guard shouted. "I'll take care of the rest."

A conductor was about to signal the train to start when he saw a beautiful girl standing by an open carriage door on the platform, talking to another beautiful girl in the carriage.

"Hurry up, Miss!" He shouted, "Please close the door."

"Oh, I haven't kissed my sister goodbye yet." She replied.

"Please close the door," said the conductor. "I'll handle the rest."

(2) On Monday morning ... while making espresso, there was an interesting conversation. ...

"Dad? How did I come into this world? "

"Dad, how did I come into this world? 」

"Well, my child, I will tell you one day. "

"Oh, son, I'll let you know one day. 」

"So why not today? Please! "

"Please! Why not today? 」

"All right, but listen carefully."

"Well, you listen carefully! 」

"Mom and dad met in an Internet cafe.

"Your mother and I met in an Internet cafe.

In the bathroom of the Internet cafe, my father and mother got in touch.

Your mother and I used hyperlinks in the restroom of the Internet cafe.

At that time, my mother downloaded something from my father's memory stick.

Your mother downloaded some data from my mobile hard disk at that time.

When dad finished loading, we didn't use the firewall.

When I finished uploading, we found that we didn't use a firewall.

Because it's too late to cancel or delete,

So it's too late to cancel or delete.

Nine months later, we found a virus. "

In this way, nine months later, we finally gave birth to a virus. 」

Tom: William borrowed five pounds from me. Was it right for me to lend it to him?

Jack: Of course.

Tom: Why?

Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.

Tom: William borrowed five pounds from me. Should I lend it to him?

Jack: Of course.

Tom: Why?

Jack: Otherwise, he should borrow it from me.

An old lady who was deaf and thought everything was too expensive went into a shop and asked the clerk, "How much are these things?"

Seven dollars, madam. It's very cheap. The lady said, "It's too expensive. Give me 14 yuan." I didn't say seventeen dollars, but seven dollars.

"It's still too expensive," the old lady replied. "Give me five dollars."

An old lady is deaf and always thinks things are too expensive. She walks into a shop.

She asked the clerk, "How much is this thing?"

"Seven dollars, madam, which is very cheap." The old lady said, "It's too expensive. Fourteen dollars is almost the same. "

The clerk quickly said, "I didn't say seventeen, it was seven."

"It's still too expensive," said the old lady. "I'll buy it for five dollars."

Mr. Johnson: Are you going to use the lawn mower this afternoon?

Mr. Smith: Yes.

Mr. Johnson: OK. Since you don't need a tennis racket, can I borrow it?

Mr. Johnson: Are you going to use the lawn mower this afternoon?

Mr. Smith: Yes.

Mr. Johnson: Great. Since you don't need a tennis racket, can I borrow it?

Mr. Johnson: Are you going to use the lawn mower this afternoon?

Mr. Smith: Yes.

Mr. Johnson: OK. Since you don't need a tennis racket, can I borrow it?

Mr. Johnson: Are you going to use the lawn mower this afternoon?

Mr. Smith: Yes.

Mr. Johnson: Great. Since you don't need a tennis racket, can I borrow it?