Introduction to humor in classical Chinese

1. The classical Chinese jokes are all on my side, and the students are all seated. It's so depressing that students don't come. "

The joke is probably like this: A private school teacher teaches The Analects of Confucius, and' Melancholy is literature' is misunderstood as' Everyone is equal to me'. Later, a new teacher in a private school pronounced "gloomy literature and art" correctly, and the students thought that the new teacher had made a mistake and would not come to school. At that time, people ridiculed the poem and said,' Everyone is equal to me, and all students sit. I am depressed that the students are not coming. "

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One day, it was a sunny day, and Yu Yu and You gathered in a humble room. The fate is short and the wind is cold. Yu Youren sighed, "Alas, it's bad luck. The dragon is trapped in shallow water, and the clouds hide the young pine." Who is wrong if the major is not hot? It is too late! "

Yu Youren also sighed and said, "It's my life to be a great teacher, and the bones and muscles of the Chinese Department are miserable. Nothing is too much! "

His friend shook his head and said, "The misery of China people can be attributed to the injustice of five continents. The absurdity of chemistry often lies in remoteness and the incomprehension of ordinary people. Therefore, the suffering of my bones and muscles is not what you know. "

The other person keeps silent, and I care about his endless life. Some people are twice as strong as me. He smiled and said, "My brother's career can be described as fiery, and my wife and children can be described as hungry, right?"

My brother was angry when he was beige, and his mouth was full of surprise. "Your career can make a living, but my career is hopeless. Why is it hot? "

The other three people explored it and were silent for a long time before answering: "invertebrate linguistics!" "

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One night, I was wandering on the platform of a voracious society, and I couldn't help staring at a woman with long hair.

After a while, the woman suddenly approached.

Stop and look at me. Yu Daoan, "I'm not very handsome"! But see my eyes wide open and my mouth twitching.

Sigh "Am I too ugly"?

But see the bigger Iraq's eyes, the more Zhang Yue opens her mouth. I'm afraid I've always been a real gentleman and never offended anyone.

For her, let alone forever.

Acquaintances? I tried to turn around, but suddenly I heard Iraq shout. . . . . . Ah. . Strange. ! ! "。 she

Rub your nose and drift away.

I'm already sweating.

2. Improper selection of paragraphs in ancient classical Chinese.

Online and in bookstores. For example, the joke is that a scholar will be seventy years old and suddenly gave birth to a son.

Born in age, that is, named age. A little later, I gave birth to another son, who seems to be able to read and learn by name.

The next year, another son was born. Smile: 62616964757a68696416fe58685e5aeb931333656461"It's a joke to have children at such an old age."

Because of the name "joke". When they were old and had nothing to do, they all ordered to go to the mountains to collect firewood and go home. The husband asked, "Who has more firewood for the third son?" The wife said, "As you get older, you have no knowledge at all, but you have the burden of jokes."

There is a scholar who is nearly seventy years old. His wife suddenly gave birth to a son. She named him "Age" because she was old enough to have a son. Before long, another son was born. He looks like a scholar, so he named him "Xue Xue".

In the third year, another son was born. The scholar smiled and said, "It's a joke to have a son at such a big age." So he named it "Joke".

The three sons had nothing to do when they grew up, so the scholar asked them to go into the mountains to get firewood. When they came back, the husband asked his wife, "Which of the three people has more firewood?" The wife said, "When I am old, I have no knowledge at all, but jokes are a burden." Avoid the original snobs and avoid them every time you come out.

The fellow traveler asked him why, and replied, "Give up my relatives." So many times, colleagues are tired.

Even if I meet a beggar, I will try to avoid him and say, "Give up my relatives." Q: "Why are there such relatives?" He said, "But all the good ones are recognized by you."

There was a vain man who met a passing dignitary when he went out and avoided it. People in the same trade asked him why he did this, and he said, "That's my relative."

This has happened many times, and every time he does this, people in the same industry feel very annoyed. Later, on the road, I suddenly met a beggar, and the people in the same trade also learned to hide from him and said, "That beggar is my relative."

The vain man asked, "Why do you have such poor relatives?" People in the same trade said, "Because all the good things are recognized by you." Villagers who eat olives go to town to drink, and there are olives at the banquet.

The villagers took the spit, which was astringent and tasteless, because they asked the people at the table, "What is this?" The deskmate scorned them with their village spirit: "vulgar." In the name of "vulgarity", the villagers kept it in mind and said, "Today, if you taste the strange things in the city, it is called" vulgarity "."

Everyone didn't believe it, but the man opened his mouth and gasped, "You don't believe it, but now you are full of swearing." A farmer went to a party in town, and there were olives at the party.

The farmer took it to his mouth, which was astringent and not delicious, and asked the person at the same table, "What is this?" Everyone at the same table thought he was vulgar and said contemptuously, "vulgar." The farmer thinks "vulgarity" is an olive name, so he keeps it in mind. When he got home, he said to people, "I ate a strange fruit in the city today, called' vulgar'."

Everyone didn't believe it. The farmer gasped with an open mouth and said, "You don't believe it. Now my mouth is full of swearing. " A person stayed for lunch, and the guest had vomited a bowl, but he didn't add any more rice.

The guest wanted to let the host know, but pretended to say, "So-and-so has a house to sell." Therefore, he said to his master, "The rafters are so big."

The host saw that there was no rice in the bowl and asked the boy to add it. Because he asked the guest, "Does he want geometry?" The guest said, "Since we have food to eat, we won't sell it."

A man left a guest for lunch. The guest has finished a bowl, and no one has given him more rice. The guest wants to let the host know, so he pretends to say, "So-and-so has a house to sell."

Then he deliberately pointed the bowl mouth at the owner and said, "The rafters are as thick as the bowl mouth." The host saw that there was no rice in the bowl, so he quickly called the servant to add rice to him.

Immediately ask the guest, "How much does he sell?" The guest replied, "Since we have food to eat, we won't sell it." Some people are used to telling lies.

Every generation of his servants is round. One day, he said to a man, "My well was blown to the house next door by the strong wind yesterday."

People think that there has been nothing since ancient times. The servant Yuan said, "It's true.

My well is near the neighbor's fence. Last night, it was windy. I saw the fence blowing to the well, but it went to my neighbor's house like a well. One day, he said to people, "Someone shot down a wild goose and put a bowl of noodle soup on his head."

The public was surprised. The servant Yuan said, "So it is.

My master was eating noodle soup in the yard when a wild goose fell and its head fell into the bowl. Isn't it a wild goose with noodle soup? "One day.

He also said to others, "the cold family has a warm weather account, which covers the world tightly without gaps." The servant frowned and said, "Master, how can I hide this lie?"

There is a man who is used to telling lies. His servants always lie for him. One day, he said to a man, "Yesterday, a well in my house was blown to the house next door by the strong wind."

Everyone thinks that such a thing has never happened since ancient times. His servant lied for him and said, "My well is really close to the neighbor's fence. The wind was very strong last night, and the fence was blown to the side of the well, just like the well was blown to the neighbor's house. "

One day, he said to people, "Someone shot down a wild goose and put a bowl of noodle soup on his head." Everyone was surprised and didn't believe what he said.

His servant lied for him again, saying, "It happened. My master is eating noodle soup in the yard. Suddenly, a wild goose fell and its head fell into the bowl. Isn't it covered with noodle soup? " Another day, he said to others: "The cold family has a top temperature account, which covers the world tightly without any gap." Hearing this, the servant frowned awkwardly and said, "The master has gone too far. How can I hide this big lie? "

The scholar peed on the doll for a long time and was frightened. He said, "The school is coming." The doll peed immediately.

The scholar asked him why, and replied, "I think you scholars are scared to pee when they get off the stage." The scholar sighed: "I didn't expect this doll to inherit his father's legacy and be elegant;" I didn't expect this school to be so small that it can pass two stools. "

The servant of the scholar's family held the doll to pee, but the child didn't pee for a long time. The servant startled him and said, "Here comes the learning platform."

The doll peed immediately. The scholar asked him why, and replied, "I saw your scholar come to the learning platform, and he was scared to pee, so I scared him like this."

The scholar sighed and said, "I didn't expect this doll to inherit his father's wishes and continue studying;" Even more unexpected.

3. Recommend some humorous stories in classical Chinese and their translations. 1. The Taoist priest, monk and beard who broke down crossed the river.

Suddenly, when the wind blew, the boat was about to capsize, and monks and Taoists panicked. They threw the scriptures into the river and asked God for help. There is nothing to throw at the beard, just tear it off one by one and throw it into the river.

The monk asked, "What's the use of pulling out a beard?" The man said, "I throw my hair (anchor) here." A Taoist priest, a monk and a bearded man were crossing the river when suddenly they met a strong wind and the boat was about to capsize.

Monks and Taoists are afraid. Hurriedly throw the scriptures into the river and ask God for help.

Beard had nothing to throw, so he tore it off and threw it into the river. The monk asked him, "Why did you pull out your beard?" The beard replied, "I threw my hair here."

2. Crossing the bridge, a villager came back from the city and said that his wife said, "I sneezed countless times in the city." The wife said, "I miss you at home."

He walked across the dangerous bridge with dung on his shoulder every day. After repeating it several times, he almost slipped. Instead, he scolded, "Sao Hua Niang, even if you miss me, you have to see what it is!" " A countryman came home from the city and said to his wife, "I sneezed several times when I was in the city." The wife said, "That's all because I miss you at home."

One day, he picked up a load of dung and walked across a rickety bridge. Suddenly he sneezed a few times and almost fell into the river. He scolded: "this slut, even if I want to, I have to see where it is!" " 3, deaf-mute, deaf-mute, each wants his own embarrassment. If you have been deaf for a day, you can sing a song and the dumb will know that you are deaf. You can tie a knot by opening and closing your lips and clapping your hands. The deaf will listen for a long time.

Seeing that his lips stopped, he praised: "Wonderful, wonderful. I haven't heard good news for a long time, and today is even better. " The deaf envy him for being deaf, and the dumb envy him for being dumb.

One day, the deaf saw the mute and begged him to sing a song, which was actually a mockery of his shortcomings. Knowing that the other person is deaf, the mute closes his lips one by one, beats his hands and pretends to sing.

The deaf also pretend to listen. Seeing the mute's lips motionless, he praised him and said, "Great, I haven't heard your wonderful singing for a long time, and I have made progress today." 4. Yawning A deaf-mute went to visit a friend.

The dog barks when it sees it. He was at a loss.

Meet the host. After the ceremony, he said, "Your family respects dogs. I don't think they slept last night. "

The host asked, "What do I think?" Answer: "When I saw my brother, only 32313353236313431303231363535858685e5aeb93133336396339 called. A deaf man went to visit his friend. His dog saw him barking, but the deaf man didn't notice.

After entering the back room to see the owner bow to each other, he said to the owner, "Does your dog think he didn't sleep last night?" The host asked, "What do I think?" The deaf man said, "The dog kept yawning when he saw his little brother." 5, asking for directions, getting lost in myopia, seeing a crow resting on the roadside stone, suspecting that it is also a person, so he repeatedly yelled at it.

After a while, the crow flew away, and the man said, "I asked you to disagree. Your hat was blown away by the wind, so I won't tell you." A nearsighted man lost his way and saw a crow standing on a stone by the roadside. He thought it was a man, so he asked for directions.

I asked several times, but no one answered. After a while, the crow flew away.

Myopia said to himself, "Hum, I asked you if you didn't agree just now. Your hat was blown away by the wind, so I won't tell you. " .

4. 1 How to write it? Classical Chinese funny qiào pí?

Example: The Sixteenth Session of The Present Situation of Wonders Witnessed in Twenty Years: "I said,' Are these two sentences witty? "The following way:' Is it a joke? I think it's just frivolous. " 」

2. Turn off the wind.

Example: A Reunion of Feng Yumei, a popular novel in Beijing and China: "Words must be wide and far away, words must be close and the wind will move. 」

Step 3 stir-fry with strong fire

For example, the Song Dynasty's Song Dynasty's "Send a Minister to Jiangxi" says: "The feather hairpin dances back to the snow, and the sword talks about Confucianism. 」

4. Machine interest j and q and

Example: Chen Ming Ruyuan's Biography of Jin Ping Mei: "The business in Tai Chi painting is good, and kites and fishing machines are full of interest, which stems from the worship of Mount Tai. 」

5. Humorous nonsense

For example: Hanshu? Biography of Dong Fangshuo: "His ci is good at Shang Yang and Han Fei, which means debauchery and is quite humorous. 」

6. Sorry

Example: Chapter 7 of Lu Xun's A Brief History of Chinese Novels: "Hou Bai" is a good way of humorous speech, and many people like it very much. 」

7. humorous

For example, Chen Ming Zilong's poem "A Birthday Gift for the Wujiang Cup in Tang Dynasty" says: "Sincere but boring, slow description of Xie Chongying. 」