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Zhang San was kicked by Bruce Lee. He fainted for a while, and his head felt like he was awake, suddenly remembering the feeling of being a child.

When he was six or seven years old, Zhang San was a fool. He looked at the stars every night and slept during the day. When he wakes up in the afternoon, he will sit in the dim sunshine for a while and then start crying. When crying, the child's grief and indignation are inexplicable and out of control. Until my mother ran over and patted her head with her hand and shouted, she is ill again! Just stop leisurely, jump out of bed and burp and wash your face. Everything that happened to Xiao Zhang at that time was unknown so's, only remembering a fleeting great sadness. That feeling is quite strange. Later, after decades of growth, Zhang San gradually forgot that feeling. Later, Zhang San was kicked by Bruce Lee and suddenly remembered.

Zhang San's height 1 m 60, once brilliant. But when he saw Bruce Lee raise his right leg to himself, he punched him hard on the chin with a stupid gesture. Bruce Lee's legs are like two springs. Guerrillas are uncertain and fierce. As for why such a powerful kick on the chin of a middle-aged writer has to start with Zhang San's son.

Zhang San's son is fourteen years old. Earlier today, he asked his father, Zhang Cansan, have you seen my UPU? Zhang San took off his helmet and saidno. The boy became irritable and shouted, Oh, what should I do? My baby didn't fly! Zhang San glanced at his son's baby, like a pile of colorful building blocks piled together. Zhang San sighed and remembered that year again.

When Zhang San was 2 1 year old, it was in 2006. What a simple era this is. At that time, people knew nothing about CPU and GPU. They just sit in front of the computer and tap a few keys back and forth, and they can get happiness and smile on their faces. It is the so-called realm where the sky is high and the clouds are light and people are idle. However, in such a comfortable environment, the young Zhang San had a wild dream ... Zhang Sanyi had countless fantasies, just the one he regretted the most, and all kinds of troubles in the future were caused by it, including the child in front of him.

Zhang San's son is cunning and moody, and belongs to future generations. The future generation of children are all like this. They grew up in the new era, playing computer like building blocks since childhood, exposed to a lot of speculative information, and developed various bad habits. As a result, everything they do is annoying. Zhang San's son always calls his father A San, which makes Zhang San quite disgusted and feels rude. Now this boy is wandering around the room when he is grumpy, and his mouth is still humming: Sam, Sam, who can return my UPU, my lovely Sam ... Zhang San finally couldn't bear it, and suddenly slapped the table and drank. How rude this child is! The child's mother was startled by the sound and ran out of the room to say what you were yelling at. Isn't that what you want? Zhang San was speechless at once.

Zhang Sanben is not called Zhang San. Although it is not surprising that men have several names since the progress of the times, the so-called Zhang San is too boring and unpleasant to listen to. Zhang San had a whim to engage in literature a few years ago and turned himself into Zhang San. As a result, he was laughed at and humiliated by his wife and children. The reason is that the rapid development of multimedia culture has led to the sharp decline of traditional literature. There are so many ways for modern people to gather emotions. Who will waste time on that primitive pile of symbols? In the year when Zhang San went to engage in literature, only one kind of literature was still popular in academic circles, and that was humorous literature, commonly known as jokes. Zhang San engaged in literature when literature declined, just as he pondered computers when computers were in recession. As it turns out, he has been asking for trouble all his life.

In 2006, young Zhang San suddenly had a wild dream. He wants to have an in-depth understanding of computers. At that time, the wisdom of the people was not open, and his ideas were quite dangerous. He could only act cautiously and hide like a hacker. Actually, what is that? Now it is said that it is not a problem for hackers to wander around anyone's head casually, but Zhang San just wants to try IPC$ to invade another computer. He aimed at a machine next to him. At that time, there were hundreds of computers side by side in the school computer room. Zhang San devoted himself to studying technology, completely ignoring that a woman with long hair was sitting in front of his drone.

Zhang San almost became a hacker when he was 2 1 year old, but now Zhang San hates hackers after 2 1 year. Because he has always suspected that hackers have visited his head and done anything, otherwise there is no reason why he is now Zhang San instead of Wang Er. He even suspected that his son was a hacker. The way that boy bares his teeth in front of the computer is really indecent. As the saying goes, like mother, like son, what can he do? So Zhang San decided not to tell the boy the whereabouts of his UPU, which worried him. At this time, Zhang San squinted at his wife and children, his nostrils were wide and his heart was full of rage. But how could he have expected that a Bruce Lee's foot would soon kick his chin?

Some people say that the progress of the times is like snowballing. Nowadays, this snowball is getting bigger and bigger, which is incalculable. Zhang San secretly thought that snow itself is a symbol of bad intentions. The so-called bad intention is that when Italian monkeys stare at the peanuts of 1995, they don't feel the wires plugged in their heads. In 2006, when Zhang San secretly tapped the keyboard in the steaming computer room, he didn't expect what he was plotting, but others wanted to make a living from it. Guess covers up the truth like snow, making people never know what will happen next.

In 2006, when Zhang San illegally invaded, the woman with long hair next to her was a student majoring in network security in our school. Generally speaking, girls study this major either because they are smart or because they have reported their wrong wishes. Unfortunately, this woman belongs to the former. She knew something was wrong with the handsome guy next to her, and after a few glances, she knew what was going on. At first she smiled and pretended not to know, but after a long time, nothing happened. Finally, she lost her temper, touched Zhang San with her elbow, frowned and typed "Net Start Lanmanserver" in her running box, slammed back and turned around and said, hey! Let's go

Twenty years later, Zhang Sanchu's literary debut is such a story: someone is young and unemployed, but he is released from prison when he is old, and his thief will not change. One day, he grabbed a CPU from someone else's desk and ran away. He threw it away without running a few steps, and his hands were blistered. The old man was livid and began to scold him. Damn, these days, mobile phones are as hot as baked sweet potatoes! -Ignorance At this point, it is actually the contemporary Ah Q. Some critics have commented on this work, that is, there is too much humor and insufficient technical explanation. What should I do if I mislead my child? After defeat, it seems that in 2027, you have to write a rigorous literary work. This explanation is indispensable: every component of the new generation of personal computers is independent of each other, and they work wirelessly through the thermal wave network, which is not only a commercial conspiracy-endless functional upgrades make the launch of new products unscrupulous; It is also a high-tech myth-for example, once the CPU accidentally leaves the coverage of its work network and the excess energy is not accepted, it will be transformed into high temperature and burn the hands of the elderly. Its precision can be seen ... It is conceivable that short jokes have become long jokes, and the difficulty of writing can be imagined. When Zhang San was young, he had the idea of writing an article about it. It seems that he is going to give up, or he will have to start like this: IPC$ (Internet process connection) is a resource that * * * enjoys the "naming pipeline" and is a unique remote network login function in the WINDOWS NT era system. In some cases, it is often used for illegal login ... Error number 53, the target path cannot be found; Wrong IP address; Target port filtering; The target LANMANSERVER service is not started ... it's strange that someone should watch such a joke! .

Zhang San called the computer room incident in 2006 an affair, but he has been deeply concerned about it. Imagine a strange woman suddenly disarming herself and saying, hey, come on! Although it was quite provocative, the young Zhang San was still very surprised at the time. He just looked at this woman with flashing eyes and blushing cheeks, looking at her long windless hair ... After a while, Zhang Sancai screamed softly. He has realized that he has shot. Zhang San was deeply hit by this. Not only did she recover for many years, but she finally married that woman, gave birth to an ill-bred child, and was kicked to the chin by Bruce Lee ... Who can see clearly the ulterior motives of this world? -

Taking the computer room incident in 2006 as the boundary, Zhang San felt that life was simply sunny and full of opportunities and challenges. After that, Zhang San was listless all day and could no longer be lively. At that time, someone saw Zhang San walking through the campus and would discuss it in a low voice. Hey, look, isn't that a class 04 monkey? Why didn't he jump? Lovelorn ... this statement is actually seriously divorced from reality. People only saw Zhang San walking dejectedly, but ignored that there was a long-haired woman looking around behind her.

Often people look at problems, not only can't be comprehensive, but they are always self-righteous. This has caused the incompatibility between people and foreign things, and the real difficulty of mutual understanding between people. This kind of difficulty has made many people of insight very upset, leading to the burial of a large number of talents throughout the ages. This difficulty lasted for thousands of years in human history and was finally broken in the second decade when Zhang San's life fell into darkness. When the alcohol came out, Zhang San was over 30 years old, and he saw youth and sunshine again. At that time, Zhang San turned several times with excitement and decided to engage in literature.

To tell the truth, Zhang San was quite satisfied with his son before he started literature, and the relationship between father and son was not bad. At that time, it was probably because the child was still young and had no edge of his own, so he could become one with his father. Zhang San remembers that for a long time, only a children's computer could make the boy want nothing. The children's computer is only the size of a palm, and the battery charging time is longer than its battery life, but the screen and keyboard are holographic projections, which means that the whole machine is integrated, which is relatively simple and affordable. But then Zhang San wanted to engage in literature and spent huge sums of money to buy big things. Zhang San's son also entered adolescence and began to be restless, and the relationship between father and son was cracked. For example, just now, the children were fooling around. Doesn't he know that UPU is what his father needs when doing serious things? Why didn't he ask for advice directly, but jumped out and talked nonsense? Thinking of this, Zhang San glared at his son and his mother angrily, and both of them stared at him as if they were enemies. Zhang San suddenly felt sad and thought that I was engaged in literature and alienated from others. If I had known this, why did I do it! Zhang San began to hate monkeys in his heart.

Zhang San was a child at 1995, but by that time he had got rid of the habit of taking a nap, saved his time and spent it in other places, such as shooting birds, disassembling the TV and hitting girls, and began to show his other personality. One day, Zhang San's class teacher finally couldn't bear it, and wrote in the parents' notice: honesty is just his disguise, and this boy is weak and bad! That night, an unusual thing happened in the laboratory of Oyakomo RiZoratti at the University of Parma. At that time, they were measuring the electrical activity of cortical cells in the premotor area of the macaque brain. The researchers unexpectedly found that some brain cells were activated when monkeys put peanuts in their mouths. The same brain cells will be activated when he sees people or other monkeys put peanuts in their mouths. This discovery was later widely praised because it showed the existence of mirror neurons for the first time.

There are really many beautiful things in the world, just waiting for you to explore and explore. When Zhang San was a child, he saw a hero hanging out with a big bird on TV for a few days and learned a set of shocking swordsmanship. He envied it and wanted to have a try. But he couldn't find any birds to use, so he finally had to try one of his dogs. He sat next to the dog and watched it carefully. Three days later, he realized something new. From then on, Zhang San couldn't help but get together and smell it first. This made Zhang San's mother very happy and thought that her son had finally begun to be cautious. But in retrospect, Zhang San still feels that this proves that he is born with keen nerves and is a plastic material.

Mirror neurons are such things that, in the form of imitation, let the brain bypass the indirect reasoning process and directly absorb information. No matter what we actually do or what others do, mirror neurons are activated. In other words, this thing makes the observer and the observed experience similar neural activities. Babies babble with adults, and Zhang San will be in a surge of emotion when watching pornographic scenes, which is probably the same reason. It is said that mirror neurons are the basis of intuition, sensibility and empathy, and the basis of human intelligence evolution. People think about each other, and the step-by-step development of human society depends on this thing. So when scientists passionately claimed that mastering the secret of mirror neurons meant mastering the future of mankind, people of insight all over the world were even bigger and excited, saying that it was all thanks to that monkey.

This monkey is only tempted by peanuts, but it is famous for it. It is said that the trademark used when the alcohol system came out was based on it. No wonder some domestic network experts pointed out, Ah, what a big alker monkey!

Internet experts hate it the most, Zhang San thought. They just run amok because they have some supporters. The name "Zhang San" was coined by a network expert. At that time, after using the alcohol system for one cycle, Zhang San went to official website, ALCOHOL.COM for evaluation, but he didn't want to be qualified. At that time, an online expert said that Wang Er couldn't do it. Let's call him Zhang San. It's second-class status, but I think it's almost the same. Too old to take care of you. So I waved my hand and recognized the identity of "Zhang San". This expert is worse than the one who thinks alcohol is a monkey. In this era, anyone who is famous, illiterate or English-blind can come out as an expert, which is really harmful.

On the day when the courier company sent three ID cards, his wife and son giggled. Zhang San swallowed a few mouthfuls, thought about it and decided to take it out on them. First he blamed his wife and said, What do you do? He is also a network security officer. It doesn't matter if the hacker gets into your husband's head! The wife suddenly turned her head, gave him a white look through her fluttering hair and said, You are talking nonsense! Why would someone hack into your head? Besides, if you did go in, you would be demented now! Zhang San's son laughed when he heard this. Hey, dementia! Zhang San then rushed to his son. Why are you so rude? What do you know about balls when adults talk? Look at you fiddling with that pile of garbage all day. What is this? Is it a computer? The wife said, why not? Zhang San, do you know much about computers? The son also smiled and said, Zhang San, give me your monkey for two days. You don't need it anyway. Idle is idle. People say that young people's super reflexes are low, which is actually more suitable for the cultivation of mirror neurons. Maybe I can become a king and become famous in one fell swoop, ok? Come on, hey hey, lovely Sam ... Zhang San was dumbfounded for a long time, and finally smiled with anger and suddenly figured it out. He said at the time, whatever! I'll be my Zhang San. Believe me, I can do something in the name of Zhang San! Then I began to put on this new vest and make a joke about CPU and mobile phone.

The alcohol system consists of software and hardware. The complex data of software is surging in dense computer chips, and the hardware is brain connector, commonly known as helmet. At this point, scientists are finally able to connect computers with the human brain, so when they say "master the future of mankind", they are not all bragging. Zhang San's son wore his father's helmet for a while and immersed himself in it every day. He hasn't taken it off for a long time, and he doesn't know what he is doing. It stands to reason that the children of the future generation have no affection for any education, but when Zhang San repented and drove him away two months later, the boy was still reluctant to leave.

The reason why Zhang San went back on his word was that his first novel misled the children. In a rage, Zhang San finally realized that everything depends on fame these days. Compared with Wang Eryi, Zhang San is a bird. Zhang San decided to rally. He put on his helmet again and began to grab UPU, MPU and other accessories to enhance the efficiency of his computer. At that time, the atmosphere at home was very strange and inexplicable. My son began to be agitated and his wife's studio had to be changed again. Zhang San ignored the consequences of doing so, just thinking, anyway, hey hey, I have to upgrade Zhang San to Wang Er quickly.

Wang Er is the most accomplished humorist in China's literary world at the end of last century. He is the only writer provided in the strategic plan of alcohol "attracting stars", and is listed as an elective with many other experts and stars, which proves that humorous literature can only survive in the contemporary era. The so-called "star-sucking method" is "a great way to absorb the essence of star thoughts". The alcohol system stimulates some sensory areas of the cerebral cortex through brain connectors and activates a large number of mirror neurons in a certain ray direction. Using this hypnotic method, we can instill specific information into the user's brain, so that he can deeply understand and completely master another way of thinking, and at the same time produce a proper amount of virtual memory, and finally achieve the goal of imitating and becoming another person, not only his (her) talent, but also his (her) soul.

On the whole, the alcohol system is very successful. It is said that many people have realized their dreams, become geniuses and become famous overnight. Of course, unsuccessful situations like Zhang San are also common, but it belongs to personal reasons, but there is no way. Zhang San regretted the injustice of his fate and was angry at the monkey's trouble ... but in the end, he decided to take it out on his wife and children because they really didn't support his career. Zhang San stood up from his chair, pretended to stretch, and suddenly turned to his son and said that children still use the Universal Postal Union. what the hell do you want？

The idea that hackers invade the brain is based on a rumor: It is said that monkeys in alcohol laboratories have made very amazing moves in the late stage of research and development. Some of them suddenly crow at midnight, and their voices are sharp and rhythmic. If you listen carefully, it is obviously a popular singing method nowadays! What's more, monkeys once voiced their voices and shouted for equality and freedom! The explanation of alcohol is that the staff may have entered the wrong instructions by mistake, or the program itself is not perfect, which leads to overreaction. But people are more inclined to think that besides hackers, who has the creativity and courage to make monkeys shout "freedom"?

Zhang San's son really has the rebellious spirit of hackers. At this time, he looked into his father's eyes and said, Sam, you stole someone else's Youpu. Why are you so confident? Zhang San's eyes widened. I'm your father. How dare you doubt me?

When the helmet of alcohol was finally taken off the monkey's head and buckled on the monkey's head, the public was crazy about it, while a few elements remained quite vigilant. A network expert once pointed out that such a complex technology directly transforms the human brain with programs, and there will inevitably be loopholes. What if hackers and others take advantage of it and enter the human brain? This network expert talked about cross talk in his early years, and turned his worries to the country and the people halfway, and his technical literacy was inevitably lacking. He doesn't know that the hacker's ability is limited to computers after all, and the threat to the human brain can only be indirect-for example, someone wears a helmet and sees a pig, then he feels numb in the scalp and begins to love the pig from the heart ... Finally, when he takes off his helmet, he will vomit. It turns out that the visual information in the computer has been changed by hackers. As we all know, his initial status was Napoleon. Falling in love with the beautiful Josephine is an important turning point in Napoleon's life ... This kind of accident happens from time to time, but it is often found in time. It is just a nasty prank, and there will be no serious problem of "hackers entering people's brains". However, Zhang San has always supported the opinions of internet experts, and he is dead set on them, not only because of his humorous art background, but also because Zhang San feels that he really has serious problems now.

Wine is such a far-reaching and profitable project that the government has come forward to formulate the corresponding assessment methods and admitted the legitimacy of its status. This move has promoted social change-college graduates used to run around with CET-4 and CET-6 certificates, but now the certificates they get are often printed with Einstein and Bill Gates ... The tide of the times is rolling forward, and Zhang San is among them, but his position in literature is not good, and he is called A San all day. Don't you think he will be angry?

Zhang San's son was angry, too, and his eyes narrowed into a crack and burst into red light, saying that you are a thief and don't admit it. What a pity! Zhang San gnashed her teeth and sneered, your boy doesn't study hard and wants to be a hacker, huh? Zhang San's wife got excited when she heard this. Where there are hackers, there are hackers. But my mother's eyes have never been in the sand ... at home, it's a mess.

UPU(Unclear processing unit) is such a component, which can accelerate the efficiency of data transmission and enhance the networking strength of computers. The more such things, the better. There are several green eggs in Zhang San's son's grotesque treasure, but they have all disappeared one by one. He had to ask his mother for help. His mother punishes evil and promotes good on the internet, relying on computers to eat, and the configuration is super strong. She lent him a big guy as big as an ostrich egg, with the original five dollars. Now even the ostrich eggs are not guaranteed, the computer can't run fast, the alcohol website authentication system can't be connected, and time is tight. Can this not worry people?

Zhang San's son is 14 years old. Today, he had to tell his father that I had passed the alcohol authentication. Today is the last audit. I will test my motor nerve reaction speed online. After that, I will become Bruce Lee! Zhang San won't believe it. Bullshit! Lao tze mixed up for so long also didn't mix into two, what is your boy, dare to call Bruce Lee? Zhang San's son thought it was impossible to have a showdown now, so he raised his leg and gently touched Zhang San's chin with his toe to show that he was right.

In this way, Zhang San was kicked by Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee's legs are like two springs. Guerrilla is uncertain and really fierce, which ordinary people can't pretend. The facts are before us. Zhang San was shocked, his chest was blocked, and he felt like an internal injury.

When Zhang San's son saw that his father was finally strangled, he said, Ah San, can I go back to UPU this time? The experts over there are still waiting for me. Where did you put them? But his mother scolded him: "You are all hands and feet, what should you do if you scare your father?" ! He turned his head and saw Zhang San stroking his chin with his hand, his eyes staring straight and muttering to himself. What is this? Zhang San's son moved in his heart and said slowly, you must prove your worth and affirm your existence. In this era of drastic changes and unrestrained passion ... a real teacher should not be a almsgiver of truth, but a guide. The truth can only be discovered by yourself ... when you say these words, hundreds of millions of cells in the brain of this 14-year-old boy are full of vitality and constantly moving, showing a faint mirror image, vague and far-reaching, which is the reproduction of great human wisdom. That's Bruce Lee.

Zhang San was kicked by Bruce Lee and fainted for a while, as if he had awakened. He suddenly returned to the wonderful feeling of childhood. Decades of growth suddenly looked back before his eyes, only the sad and helpless little boy was frozen in the depths of time and space in the dim afternoon sun. Zhang San finally understood that the child was in tears because he somehow existed in this speculative world.

Zhang San turned his head and saw his son's eyes shining and his wife's long hair still flying. He suddenly realized that all this was true and illusory, and the surrounding time and space would collapse into the absurd atmosphere of childhood. Zhang San can't stand it. He wobbled. He went to the tea table, picked up the phone and dialed a number.

Zhang San's son looked at his father's back and frowned and said to his mother, what should I do? It is too late! Mother touched his head and said, silly boy, I still have an ostrich egg there. Go get it. Looking at the boy jumped up with joy, the long-haired woman turned her head to Zhang San, stared at him for a while, hesitated several times, and finally quietly retreated.

The middle-aged man named Zhang San was sobbing into the phone and said, Mom, can you come here for a moment? I am ... I am sick again.

I didn't write it, but it's good

I certainly didn't write it. Its screen name is "Dignity"