Birdie's accounting story

What are the short stories about birds?

The story of the wind and birds

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The wind asked the bird, "Why do you want to name yourself a bird? 」

The bird smiled and replied, "Come with me to Guandu, and I will tell you. Will you follow me? " ? This is temptation. 」

The wind also smiled and replied, "Is this an invitation to meet?" What a stupid way. 」

The bird said, "stupid, but effective!" 」

The wind smiled and said, "Go ahead, who is afraid of who?" ? You have a wife and I have a husband! 」

"See who seduces who." The wind caught a narrow smile. Birds smile at them, too, which is unnatural.

Of course, the wind is invisible. No one can see anyone's smile on the internet. Only one by one through the electron beam.

Typed, like:) or:-) smiling face. Some people can conjure up more, but birds only know these two kinds. this is

He told me. Bird is a boy, and wind is a girl's id. At least the bird thinks she is a girl. follow

When I told the story, the wind and the bird had met, and he could certainly say so.

The wind never knows what birds look like, and birds don't know what the wind looks like. Just two people on the internet.

We looked at each other for a long time, as if we had known each other for a long time, as if we were friends for a long time, and talked about everything. Just,

The two have never met.

The bird sat in the back seat of the passenger car bound for Guandu by the Highway Bureau, thinking about the past. At the beginning of April, the spring sun was shining brightly and I quickly walked out of the window.

Shooting in, the moving light and shadow gives people the illusion that time is evolving rapidly. The scenery suddenly passed by, the safety island

On the last tree, the noisy and scary cuckoo blooms wantonly, covering the earth with spring clothes. The car passed the stone forest, he thought

When I was a child, my impression of Shilin was a lotus field, but now it has disappeared like a dream. The sea will turn into mulberries.

Tian. When birds think that what they believe or believe will remain unchanged for thousands of years, will things change and collapse?

Lost? Thinking of this, I have a lot of vicissitudes in my heart.

The bird remembered the process of meeting the wind.

Please tell me some accounting stories.

There is a little girl studying accounting. She recently talked to someone. In order to get to know each other better, she decided to "audit" the young man.

The little girl asked: What is your monthly "main business income"?

The young man reacted quickly and thought, this is asking me about my salary. A: 3,000 yuan.

To be on the safe side, the little girl asked: Is it "gross" income or "net" income?

The young man has a little hair in his heart. Although he earns 3000 yuan a month, he doesn't get that much. Total income.

The little girl immediately played a small abacus in her mind. (According to the minimum standard, if the social security base is 570 yuan, the individual will bear 9% and get 5 1.30 yuan; The base of provident fund is 1 0,000 yuan, personal contribution is 100%, medical insurance base is 1 654,38+0.70 yuan, personal contribution is 2%, and personal income tax is (3000-5 1.30-654. Q: Is the actual salary 2727.77 yuan? The little girl has a plan.

The young man was surprised and replied, How do you know?

The little girl smiled and asked, "Other business income".

The young man was surprised again and replied, "How do you know all this?"

The little girl smiled again and asked: How many "fixed assets" are there at home?

The young man is a little guilty. A: Do motorcycles, color TVs, refrigerators, computers, air conditioners and washing machines count? My mother said that my family has all these, and then your family will also have them. ...

The story of a bird

You should observe carefully.

It is best to personify birds when they are young.

Food is interesting to write like this.

Accounting story

Both husband and wife are accountants. One day they bought cosmetics. The husband said that the treatment method is included in the maintenance fee. The wife was furious and said, how can this be regarded as alimony? Should be included in intangible assets!

A man wearing a doctor's graduation gown and a doctor's square hat came to an accounting firm with a suitcase and said to the accountant, I can't find a job. Can the tuition I paid be counted as investment failure tax exemption?

An accountant was insomnia. He went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, I can't sleep at night!" " "

The doctor said, "Have you ever tried counting sheep?"

Accountant: "Ah! This is the problem. I made a mistake when counting sheep. It took me three hours to find this mistake. " Sad accounting work

Stories and jokes about accounting.

I don't know when I began to be afraid of financial people: I am afraid of financial people. Those people Excel is too slippery, I can only be dumbfounded. While I was still smug about learning a few shortcut keys, people were already using macros and pivottables. With admiring eyes and a sigh, people just smiled indifferently, which was really too low and uncomfortable.

I'm afraid of people who do finance. The mathematical logic of those people is too strong, and the CPU of the brain is not an order of magnitude. Shopping with them. When I took out my mobile phone and still foolishly pressed the button to calculate the discount price, they had come to the conclusion that it was not cost-effective. Let's go to the next one. Leaving me and the clerk in a mess, after all, my math and physical education teacher taught me. Playing with numbers in front of them is actually teaching others to swim and walk with a calculator, hehe. I'm afraid of people who do finance. Those people are too persistent and have amazing memories. Everyone seems to have the power to flood the wild.

Compared with their exams and textual research, it is always incomparable. Will you be happy if you take a major? People have been preparing for intermediate and advanced courses for a long time. And CPA, five years and six subjects, how many days and nights, how many people retreat, they still bravely move forward. Suddenly I feel that my so-called "quiet years" are all nonsense. How can I get along with poetry and distance?

I'm afraid of people who do finance. Those people eat coffee as a meal and always work overtime. It's like working with their lives.

It is said that they are busy at the beginning and end of the month, but in fact they are busy every day. Three statements are turned in turn, and a laundry list of invoice vouchers and budget forms are flying all over the sky. Look at yourself who gets off work on time every day, plays after dinner and has a normal rest on holidays. I always feel that I am wasting my time and my life. I'm afraid of people who do finance, and I'm even more afraid of people who are still doing finance ten years later. They invisibly give me a kind of pressure, which makes me embarrassed to give up when I encounter difficulties.

I'm afraid of people who do finance. Their wages are so low, but they still work so hard!

Who knows this little story about birds?

A crow is ugly, but smart, smart. One day, he was tired and thirsty after finishing his work and wanted to drink water. Suddenly, it looked at a pitcher and was filled with joy. It flew to the pitcher, and when it saw that there was not much water in the pitcher, it couldn't drink it even if it was dipped. What should I do? It hit the pitcher with its body and pushed it with its wings, trying to knock it down so that it could drink. But the pitcher is big and heavy, and its strength is too small to knock it over. Suddenly, he used his quick wits to pick up some stones and put them in the jar. If there were more stones, wouldn't the water in the jar rise? I thought so, so I did it. It took pains to pick up stones piece by piece with its mouth. The crow didn't work hard and finally put a lot of stones. When the water rises, it drinks water. It drank enough water to quench its thirst.

A short story about birds is 200 words.

The story of a bird

Birds come, birds go, birds fly to my heart, birds eat, birds love to sing homesick songs, birds have no cliffs, and birds live in big trees.

Birds in books, birds on olive branch dishes, welcome songs, flying online and offline. Where are the birds? Where are the birds?

There are mandarin ducks and birds hidden in jade bird poems, some flying in Dujiangyan and some possessed by birds in ancient streets.

Bird-you drink the water from the Yangtze River, and you eat the reality of Fengyang. You sow seeds in China, and you promote Huang Zhu in Wan Li Shenzhou.

You are a bird of hope.

You are a soaring bird, and you are the leading bird for hundreds of millions of farmers to get rich. I don't know if you remember.

More than 20 years ago, what was the first time that you led your peasant brothers to get rich? You realized a myth that even myths can't match.

You are an ordinary but unusual bird, and your cry melts in the hearts of peasant brothers. You are a god bird, you in my heart forever. Close your eyes, I still see you flying.

Your vision is full of the universe and your desires, and you always combine with reality like that. You are the seed sent by the wind.

Your burning torch.

Fly, fly, fly high, fly to every house.

Fly into the eyes of men and women. Maybe your destination is a direct flight.

A story about birds

I like small animals very much, especially birds. I was filled with joy as soon as I saw the watery little eyes and flexible little head of the bird. I really want to catch a bird and raise it. It happened that I found a nest that day.

It was a cold winter morning. I wore a thick cotton-padded coat and a thick hat to go out for a walk that day. On the way, I saw a bird's nest in a tall tree, with two bare little heads sticking out, a long neck and a wide mouth. Mother bird is feeding the hungry birds. An idea flashed through my mind-get it back. I started to act immediately. I found a long bamboo pole, drove the mother bird away and began to poke the nest. Mother bird flew around me and pecked me from time to time, but I dodged deftly. Mother bird is anxious like an ant on hot bricks. After a while, the bird's nest fell down, and the birds climbed out of the nest and chirped. They looked at me piteously. At this moment, mother bird flew angrily and took my hat away. The biting cold wind brushed my head and I couldn't help shivering. I saw the birds on the ground shivering with cold, and I realized that I was wrong. I destroyed the bird's home. They must be cold. I lifted the bird's nest, climbed the tree and put it on the branch, then put the bird back. Then mother bird gave me my hat back.

Small animals, like humans, are all members of nature. They also like to live a free life. It is wrong for humans to imprison small animals. I will never do that again.

Tell a few accounting stories

Three philosophical stories that accounting must read.

1. A turkey is chatting with a cow. The turkey said, I wish I could fly to the top of the tree, but I don't have the courage. The cow said, why don't you eat some of my cow dung? They are very nutritious. The turkey ate a little cow dung and found that cow dung really gave it enough strength to fly to the first branch. The next day, the turkey ate more cow dung and flew to the second branch. Two weeks later, the turkey proudly flew to the top of the tree, but soon, a farmer saw it and quickly shot it down from the tree.

Survival 1: Bullshit will get you to the top, but you can't stay there.

The crow stands in the tree and does nothing all day. The rabbit saw the crow and asked, can I do nothing all day like you? The crow said, of course, why not? So the rabbit began to rest in the open space under the tree. Suddenly, a fox appeared. It jumped up, grabbed the rabbit and swallowed it.

Survival 2: If you want to stand and do nothing, you must stand very, very high.

A bird flies to the south for the winter. It was so cold that the birds almost froze. So, I flew to a large clearing, and a cow passed by and pulled a pile of cow dung on the bird. The frozen bird lay in the dunghill, feeling warm and waking up gradually. It lay in a warm and comfortable place and soon began to sing. A passing wild cat heard the noise and went over to see what was going on. Following the sound, the wild cat quickly found the bird lying in the dunghill and dragged it out to eat it.

Survival 3: Not everyone who shits you is your enemy. Not everyone who pulls you out of the dunghill is your friend. When you are lying in the dunghill, you'd better keep your mouth shut.

A short story about accounting

1. Xiao Wang graduated from college and decided to find a job for himself. After consulting with my family, I decided to open a small software development company. Starting a company requires venture capital. Xiao Wang raised 100000 yuan through the following channels:

A. The family investment is 50,000 yuan;

B. student loan is 30,000 yuan;

C. bank loan 20000.

The above funds are in the bank, and the relationship between them can be expressed by a balance equation:

Bank deposit (100000) = family investment 50000+ bank loan 20000+ classmate loan 30000.

2. The above identity, if expressed in accounting language, is: assets = owner's equity+liabilities.

Assets: Bank deposit 100000 is a resource that small control brings economic benefits to itself.

Liabilities: The bank borrows 20,000 yuan and the classmate borrows 30,000 yuan, which is Xiao Wang's obligation for the outflow of future economic benefits.

Owner's equity: The family investment (capital) of 50,000 yuan belongs to Xiao Wang's own equity, which is the difference between assets and liabilities.

3. After the operation of the company, the bank deposit is used for various expenses, and 60,000 yuan is set aside from the bank deposit, that is, 30,000 yuan for equipment, 20,000 yuan for materials and 0/0000 yuan for cash. No matter how it changes, the above identities remain unchanged. Namely:

Assets 1000000 (equipment 30000+ materials 20000+ cash 10000+ bank deposit 40000) = owner's equity 50000+ liabilities 50000.

Among them, equipment with a service life of more than one year, high value and weak liquidity is called "fixed assets".

Material-once used, it will be consumed once, and it is highly liquid, which is called "current assets".

Cash and bank deposits: the most liquid, also known as "current assets"

The above identities can be expressed as:

Fixed assets 30000+ current assets 700000 = owner's equity 50000+ liabilities 50000.

At the end of the year, Xiao Wang calculated the operation of the company since its opening, with an income of 50,000 yuan and expenses for materials, labor and rent of 20,000 yuan. So, profit 30000 = income 50000- expense 20000. At the same time, on June 5438+February 3 1 day, Xiao Wang found that the company's assets also changed:

Assets = equipment 60000+ bank deposit 70000 = 130000.

If Xiao Wang's liabilities and owner's equity are still the initial figures at this time, how should his identity be expressed?

Namely: assets 130000 = liabilities 50000+ owners' equity 50000+?

Obviously, the difference on the right side of the equation is 30 thousand, which is the profit realized by Xiao Wang Company, and this part of the profit should be returned.

The new rights and interests belong to Xiao Wang, in this case, the identity is:

Assets = liabilities+owners' equity (capital+profit)

In accounting language, it means assets = liabilities+owners' equity (paid-in capital of 50,000 yuan+undivided).

Profit 30000)

Accounting principles and balance sheets are based on this identity.

5. Assets = liabilities+owner's equity, indicating how many assets Xiao Wang has on a certain day, and he still owes others more.

Less money, how much money do you have. This reflects Xiao Wang's financial situation.

Profit = income-expense description, which shows how much profit Xiao Wang has earned in a certain period of time. This reflects

Xiao Wang's business performance.

In accounting, the above-mentioned items indicating financial status and operating results are called "accounting elements", that is, capital.

Property, liabilities, owners' equity, income and expenses

Gradually, Xiao Wang's business has developed rapidly, and the company's assets, liabilities, owners' equity, income and expenses are many and complicated. In order to record and reflect in detail, comprehensively and systematically, we should classify accounting elements and give each category a name. In accounting language, it means "accounting subject"-the category of accounting elements. How many or which accounts should be used under an element? You don't have to think about it. People were already using it before you went to a company. It is useless for you to learn some knowledge about how to set up accounting subjects.

7. As long as there is economic business, it will cause changes in relevant accounting elements and their accounting subject data. We call the written documents obtained or filled in when recording economic business as original documents. A written voucher that collates the original voucher and records it in the corresponding account book is an accounting voucher. Account (account book) is a written document with a certain format that records the increase and decrease of data under the name of account. Summarize account (account book) data at the end of the period to form accounting statements.

8. The most basic and critical work of accounting: according to the original vouchers, prepare accounting vouchers according to accounting subjects. The method adopted is the double-entry bookkeeping method, and the common one is the debit-credit bookkeeping method in the double-entry bookkeeping method, that is, the double-entry bookkeeping method with "debit" and "loan" as bookkeeping symbols.

After that, according to the prepared accounting vouchers, the data will be registered in the account books under the names of relevant accounting subjects. At the end of the period, sort out and summarize the account books, and then prepare the accounting statements.

9. Accounting procedures: economic business-original vouchers-accounting vouchers-account books-accounting statements.

Simply put, accounting is a job of recording and reporting economic business, including bookkeeping, accounting, reimbursement and account management and use.

Bookkeeping: double entry bookkeeping method is adopted, from original voucher-bookkeeping voucher-account.

Accounting: processing and summarizing account data, including costing.

Reimbursement: according to the comprehensive data of accounts, prepare accounting statements.

10. The basic accounting methods (bookkeeping, accounting and reimbursement) are arranged according to accounting procedures, including:

Set up an account

double-entry bookkeeping

Fill in and review accounting vouchers

register

costing

property inventory

Prepare a statement

It's easy to remember: the first word is homophonic, forming a jingle: "Is the sky lantern colored?"

Accounting is an information system, and inputting information is the most critical. Under the current computerized accounting system, which method is the most critical? It is to fill in and review accounting vouchers, the core content of which is to prepare accounting vouchers, that is, to prepare "accounting entries" in the form of double-entry bookkeeping, followed by data input and data and information (reports) automatically processed by the system.

When you go to a new unit, the establishment of an account has been completed, which has nothing to do with you; The double-entry bookkeeping method is very simple and can be done in half a day; Making entries requires knowledge accumulation, that is, it requires certain skills and experience to confirm, measure and classify economic business, but it is not afraid that there are so many common types, as long as you ponder and practice.

Therefore, for a beginner, mastering double-entry bookkeeping is the key, because only in this way can accounting entries be made.

1 1. Concept summary

(1) Capital: the monetary expression of property and materials and the currency itself.

(2) Capital movement: economic activities that can be expressed in money, that is, accounting objects, are also the contents of accounting and supervision by accounting institutions.

-Static performance of capital movement: "How much money do you have today", which indicates the capital status (or financial status) and is related to: assets = liabilities+owners' equity.

-The dynamic performance of the capital movement: "How much money have you earned so far", which means the capital benefit (or operating results) and is related to: profit = income-expenses.

(3) Accounting elements: refers to the basic classification of accounting objects (fund movements).

Among them, static elements: assets, liabilities and owners' equity; Dynamic elements: income and expenditure

(4) Accounting subjects: marks or items that classify accounting elements.

(5) account book: a tool with a certain format and account name to record the data under the account name.

(6) Accounting methods are the procedures and methods around "bookkeeping, accounting and reimbursement". The core of compiling accounting entries is "whether lanterns are colorful", and double-entry bookkeeping must be mastered.

(7) Basic accounting equation: refers to a relationship in which the total amount of accounting elements must be equal, and it is an expression of the financial status and operating results of an enterprise, also called accounting identity.

Basic equation: assets = liabilities+owners' equity

Extended equation: assets = liabilities+owners' equity+(income-expenses)

Or: assets = liabilities+owner's equity+profit (-loss)

(8) Balance sheet-an accounting statement based on the data in the account book, which is based on the principle of "assets = liabilities+owners' equity" and is used to explain the capital status (or financial status) of the company at a specific time.

Income statement assets = accounting statements compiled according to account book data and established according to the principle of "profit = income-expenses" to explain the company's operating results in a certain period.

12. After several years, Xiao Wang Company grew bigger and bigger. As the chairman, he should read the accounting statements (monthly reports) submitted by the Finance Department at the end of each month, quarterly accounting statements (quarterly reports) at the end of each quarter, semi-annual reports after half a year, and annual accounting statements (annual reports) at the end of the year. Understand the company's financial status (through the balance sheet), operating results (through the income statement) and changes in financial status (cash flow statement).