Classic humorous joke text messages

Collection of classic humorous joke text messages

1. In summer, I specially invite small animals to embark on a journey of love. The bee nurse injects you with a vaccine against your worries, the mosquito lady gives you red envelopes, and the frog prince croaks for you. When you receive the text message blessing, please reply loudly: Cicada! Got it!

2. I am sending you a text message to make you smile; blessings and blessings, I want to send them away; breeze is coming, coming is coming; rain and dew are cooling down; little Birds, little birds, chirp joyfully; you, you, laugh happily, and I laugh.

3. Delicious snacks for you: oranges, ducks and pears are indispensable, chocolate cake tastes good, Coke and Sprite are wonderful, potato chips and chicken wings are hugged in your arms. All kinds of delicious food will enter your mouth and keep you busy without stopping. Now my world is finally back to peace!

4. Summer has quietly arrived, the refreshing wind brings passion, the beautiful clothes bloom with beautiful shadows, the bright scenery dazzles the eyes, although the chubby body is cute, but the slim figure is even more... expect! Lose weight? Take advantage of now!

5. Now that you have said goodbye, why don’t you let go? Time can no longer be saved. We once stayed beautifully. Stop pretending to be strong. Stop trying to be strong. This extra care, Please don't give me any more fat, just leave.

6. I really envy you, and my heart is full of jealousy for you, because you have such a good friend like me, even in the most ordinary moments, I never forget to send you my blessings, so that you Be happy! Just accept your fate and continue to be jealous of me!

7. For some work, just take it seriously; for some tasks, just do your best; for some pursuits, just persist; for some friends, everything is fine! Take you for example. There are only two things you can't do: you can't do this, and you can't do that.

8. My friend said he has a durable dad who will take care of him no matter what happens; his friend said he has a durable girlfriend who won’t break up no matter how much we quarrel; and I only have a durable boss who will take care of her no matter what. No salary increase!

9. Bizarre events before the arrival of 20xx! The mouse drove the cat to the edge of the cliff, the sow spread her wings and soared into the sky, the frog jumped from the bottom of the well to the top of the mountain, the weasel really paid New Year's greetings to the chicken, and the gray wolf was looking at the phone again waiting for the beautiful sheep to call!

10. In summer, the temperature is soaring, the enthusiasm is high, and the heart is irritable; the work is busy but the efficiency is plummeting. Without the heat-cooling money to accompany you, I would change my thoughts a few times. You are indispensable for cooling down and relieving the heat, lovely heat-cooling money.

11. Who once let my heart break and shattered my dreams? It was you. Who once let tears wither my eyes? It was you. Who once said that I had no regrets and asked me to confess my blood and sweat. , it’s you, RMB, please allow me to hurt and love you.

12. The weather has been irritable recently, and work efficiency has dropped sharply. Cooling down is necessary to relieve the heat, and leaders must pay attention to it. In order to ensure the improvement of efficiency, the heat cooling fee is required. This is really indispensable, and it has a miraculous effect on soothing people. Looking forward to it, the summer vacation money is coming!

13. Stupidity is a kind of natural helplessness, a kind of acquired laziness, and a self-sown evil fruit. Although stupidity is not wrong, where can we find the happiness of harvest? Stop stealing the steamed buns from next door, or your dog’s tail will be caught again!

14. In a world where time makes things perfect, there is too much waiting, stories where plots make things come true, too much sadness, feelings of fulfillment, and too much dependence. In the summer where fat makes things come true, there are too many incredible dialogues. , to avoid accidents, lose weight.

15. On a sunny day, the scenery is beautiful, the wind is beautiful and the sun is beautiful; red flowers, green grass, willows are floating in the wind; the breeze is blowing, the birds are chirping, and the kites are flying gently high; Spring has gone and summer has arrived. I will take you to eat grass!

16. The water you most want to drink: salary; the flower you want most: money to spend. The most capable cow: bragging; the fastest horse: patting the horse. The most sincere love: friendship; the most sincere letter: text messages. The most sincere blessings: be happy!

17. In fact, in my heart, you have always been a person who is particularly patient, charming, capable of fighting, and dedicated. Most importantly, you are particularly able to endure hardship... I'm sorry, so sorry I typed the word "bitter".

18. Not everyone needs to be slim, and not everyone who is slim will be beautiful.

There is a type of person for whom plumpness is her asset. Being thinner cannot reflect her temperament. Just like you, the rounder you are, the more lovable you are, my dear wallet!

19. Live a good life, and the days will become more and more prosperous; don’t climb, don’t compare, don’t make yourself angry; eat less salt, be more jealous, play less mahjong and walk more; go to bed on time, wake up on time, run and dance to keep fit. body; I wish you good health!

20. Some things in this life are reasonable, some things are uncontrollable, some things are unsatisfactory, some things are illogical, and some things are unexpected. , some things are suddenly realized. Has the fool realized it?

21. My brother happily went on a blind date over the weekend. When he came back, he was very depressed, said nothing, and fell asleep. After asking for a long time, he finally said: That person looks good, how should I put it, the pixels are relatively low! Look! The clouds will always float farther and farther away, the stars will always twinkle, the flowers will always smile, the waves will always roll over, friends will always miss you occasionally, blessings will always be inaccurate, and the little fool will always read it patiently ~

22. The weather is a bit sultry, and I am afraid that you will feel depressed, so I give you colorful popsicles to cool you down and relieve you from boredom; it emits fruity fragrance and delivers the slightest coolness, so that you can completely eliminate the heat and enjoy a refreshing summer. What are you waiting for? Hurry up and hide your heart!

23. Give you delicious snacks: chocolate, rich aroma; ice cream, delicate and sweet; peanuts, crispy aftertaste; marshmallows, endless affection. Eat delicious snacks non-stop, be careful to become a fat mound. hey-hey!

24. Asked why we wear skirts in summer because it’s hot. Why do we eat watermelon in summer? Because watermelon is ripe. I don’t know such a simple question. Do you know why I sent you a text message? Because I want to wish you a cool summer!

25. The weather these days is like the face of a girl in love, which changes at a moment’s notice; like the face of a girl who is lovelorn, cold; like the face of a girl when they break up, gloomy. Therefore, love depends on your appearance, the weather depends on the weather when you go out, and the quality of friendship depends on it. I wish you a wonderful life!

26. I admire your free and unrestrained expression and calm gaze. I am fascinated by your proud attitude in the wind. I admire your broad mind and magnanimity in doing things. I admire your heroic spirit and courage. I also like your roar when you chase and bite Lu Dongbin. crazy!

27. At the Navy Recruitment Office, two young men were asked: Can you all swim? The two people rubbed the backs of their heads and murmured in a low voice. Did they make a mistake? Is this ship not enough? There is something called love at first sight. Ever since I left you, I have been thinking about you, and my love for you has exceeded my expectations. I will continue to work hard to get you. Having you is my goal: lovely RMB!

28. Summer is here, mosquitoes are biting, insects are chirping and cicadas are really noisy. It doesn't matter, don't worry, I will send you a blessing soon. The most important thing is to be happy, no matter those little irritations, live a sunny life on a sunny day, and when your mood is cool and cool!

29. Beer belly? It doesn't matter, it shows off your big belly; big thick legs? It doesn’t matter, you’re not afraid of the strong wind; butterfly sleeves? It doesn't matter, Chubby is cuter. Hot summer day? It doesn't matter, if the otaku and rotten girl get active, they will get moldy if they don't move.

30. For a great person like me, when you want to find someone to admire, you go look in the mirror; when you want to find someone to accompany you, you go look at the stars in the sky; when you want to find happiness, you go listen to it. How joyfully the birds sing; this is the cow!

31. There is something that has been hidden in my heart for a long time. I have always wanted to tell you, but it is always difficult to say it when I face you. I always regret it when we say goodbye. I have no choice but to say goodbye. Text message to convey: When will you treat me to dinner?

32. I like yellow, passionate; I like purple, romantic; I like red, passionate; I like brown, mysterious; I like white, simple; I like black, deep; I like green, kind. I like all your colors, happiness. Lustful!

33. I have been waiting for this day for a long time, and I always think of you, your smile, and your figure from time to time. Today you are full of fragrance, and the fragrance of flowers is specially designed to attract bees. I don’t believe I can’t sting you!

34. I will give you "three pots of soup" in summer to enjoy a good life. The first pot of "Three Fresh Foods" is new things, new things and new atmosphere; the second pot of "Tomatoes and Eggs" is rich in nutrients and protects health; the second pot of "East Melon Soup" clears away heat and detoxifies and is more delicious.

35. I want to kiss the sea, but there was a tsunami; I want to kiss the earth, and there was an earthquake; I want to kiss the sky, and there was nuclear radiation; I want to kiss the steamed buns, and they were dyed; I want to kiss you, and you became Extremely beautiful.

I wish you happiness, haha!

36. I make three wishes to the Buddha: 1. Let those who do not contact me have insomnia at night; 2. Let them stay with mosquitoes for a long time; 3. Finally, let them You miss me from time to time and can’t wait to treat me to a big dinner!

37. You don’t miss me, I feel a little lonely; you don’t contact me, I feel a little sad; in order to let you, I remember me; I pray deeply, may you fall when walking, choke on drinking water, and have no hope of getting rich. Don't blame me for being cruel, are you afraid? How to do it, you know!

38. When the wind smiles, the red flowers bloom; when the running water smiles, the fish swim away; when the clouds smile, the sky clears up; when the earth smiles, the fields turn green; when I look back and smile, I am all lost; happy. Smile and your worries disappear. After reading this, you're done!

39. They say that hitting means kissing and scolding means loving. If you don’t hit or scold, doesn’t it mean you don’t kiss or love? In order to express my deep affection for you, I decided to beat you and bite you twice when I have nothing to do, and scold you and bicker when I have nothing to do. You see, I value you very much!

40. I am very courageous and often frightened; I have a very bad temper, so what does crotch humiliation mean? I have a very cool personality and haven’t found any characteristics yet; I am very shallow-skinned and can only pester you; when I receive a text message and you smile, I will frown. ;