How to solve children's psychological problems in junior and senior high schools?

"With so many subjects, I feel frustrated before I start learning", "Children are pursuing individuality more and more, why do they seem to be rebellious", "I don't listen to him at all, what can I say to make it work" ... Before the new semester has started, many children who should be "junior high school students" have shown psychological problems such as being at a loss and being confused, and parents' anxious voices are frequently heard on the forum. Experts also pointed out that due to the increase in the degree and difficulty of discipline after entering junior high school, the enhancement of students' sense of competition, and the improvement of teachers and parents' requirements for grades, children in "junior high school" are often prone to psychological problems such as decreased self-confidence, frustration and rebellious psychology.

Typical problem

Entering junior high school, children's mentality is easy to change.

Question 1: Learning resistance is increasing, and psychological pressure is increasing.

Chen Ming (pseudonym) and Jun Tang (pseudonym) have been good friends since childhood. They studied in the same primary school and got excellent grades. Last year, he was also admitted to a model middle school. After entering junior high school, the number of subjects increased and the difficulty increased. As a girl, Jun Tang's abstract thinking is poor, and her grades have dropped. But Chen Ming, whose grades were worse than his own, actively asked the teacher and communicated with his classmates. Later, his grades slowly left Jun Tang behind. Until now, Jun Tang still has a strong sense of frustration: "I dare not ask my teacher questions because I am afraid that my questions are stupid and will be laughed at by others." As a result, there are more and more problems in learning, more and more learning resistance, and more and more psychological pressure, so Jun Tang's learning has fallen into a vicious circle.

Question 2: Enter the rebellious period of youth.

"They especially talk about the post-90s personality. The child was embarrassed. What did he think of nail curls as soon as he graduated from primary school? Is it puppy love to dress like this I said it and didn't listen! " The parents of a child who is about to "go to junior high school" made such complaints and worries on the forum.

This post and subsequent posts are full of parents' worries about their children's behavior after "junior high school": children begin to pay attention to food and clothing; Entering the new environment, the relationship with classmates is tense, and the communication with teachers is reduced, as if only living in their own world; Parents don't listen and slam the door in anger. ...

cause analysis

The increase in subjects, the increase in difficulty, and the fledgling youth have caused insufficient preparation.

Reason one:

Lack of clear understanding of the different characteristics from primary school to junior high school.

"There are two situations: first, compared with myself, my primary school grades are not bad, and I failed to grasp and change my learning methods at the turning point of junior high school, which led to a decline in my grades and a sense of psychological loss; Second, compared with classmates, as the saying goes,' There is a mountain outside the mountain, and there is someone outside the person', people can do well when they find that others can't do well, and their psychological imbalance and jealousy eventually turn into a strong sense of self-blame, and thus rise to frustration. The main reason for this psychological emotion is that the children of' Xiaoshengchu' are not psychologically prepared, so they will feel powerless and overwhelmed by the new stage and new look of their study and life. " Professor Tian Guoxiu, deputy dean of the School of Political Science and Law of Capital Normal University and doctoral supervisor, explained why Jun Tang was afraid of difficulties and setbacks.

Teacher Huang of Beijing No.4 Middle School pointed out that it is not a case that students feel hard to study and have a strong fear of difficulties after "junior high school". She has been teaching for ten years, and has brought children in grades five and six. She found that children are generally tired of learning because of the increase in subjects, the increase in difficulty and the lack of time allocation. In fact, they all have a strong sense of self-esteem and inferiority, mostly because they don't have a clear understanding of the different characteristics from primary school to junior high school. They are psychologically demanding progress, but they are not ready mentally.

The second reason: the rebellious psychology of adolescent sexual consciousness is becoming more and more obvious.

Children at the beginning of junior high school are generally twelve or thirteen years old, that is, when they enter adolescence, so the psychological characteristics of adolescence are very obvious, such as chasing individuality, budding sexual consciousness, rebellious psychology and so on.

"The germination of adolescent sexual consciousness is a normal psychological phenomenon caused by children's physiological changes. Children and parents should not have too much fear or be eager to deny these normal psychological emotions. They should face up to them and treat them correctly. " Professor Tian reminded that children and parents of "Xiaoshengchu" should remain calm and rational in the face of psychological changes in adolescence, and should not exaggerate, ignore and let go.

expert opinion/advice

Heuristic guidance is indispensable to become a child's "spiritual backer"

Deputy Hong Ming: Guidance and heuristic psychological education for children.

At any stage, if you want to learn well, three factors are the most critical: first, learning objectives, second, learning methods, and third, learning quality. Among them, learning quality is to have a good learning attitude, not afraid of difficulties, and be brave in change. Parents should tell their children in advance from the positive side and take the initiative to adapt to the new learning environment and learning rhythm. It will give parents more practical experience and lessons to communicate with the students and parents of the previous class and listen to the stories of how others made the transition to the adaptation period. Parents should give "junior high school" children a heuristic psychological education and summarize the advantages and disadvantages of primary school learning; Parents should understand their children's psychological weaknesses, so as to be aware of them and guide them correctly. In the new learning environment, parents should show a more stable, strong, optimistic and positive psychological state and guide their children to actively cope with new changes.

Paul Hu: Parents can't let their children close the "window of the soul" for you.

The most important solution is that parents should learn to talk to their children and don't let them close their hearts to you. Children in primary school and junior high school have great psychological differences between their parents. In primary school, children and parents are still the same. But in junior high school, children have a psychological state of wanting to peel. Children begin to have their own consciousness, but when the world outlook is not fully formed, children often have many wrong views. What should parents do at this time? You can't fight. If you confront him and create confrontation, the child will close his heart. As managers, parents must understand their children's psychology, otherwise there is no way to manage them, and there will be a situation out of control; Even if it is wrong, let your child communicate with you.

Lu Zhi: Find and solve children's problems and puzzles in time.

Parents should communicate with their children in time, find out the confusion in their growth in time, help them solve problems in time, and avoid the backlog of problems, otherwise it will cause greater resistance to their future development. Every child is different, but parents should always encourage, care and understand them from their children's point of view.

Tian Guoxiu: Being a child's "spiritual backer".

What children need more is a kind of spiritual companion. Parents should not easily question their abilities and deny their ideas, but give them confidence: parents believe in you. They don't adapt well to their studies. This is just a stage. Some children have a long adaptation period, while others have a short adaptation period. No big deal. Parents should first put their minds right and trust their children. Parents should establish confidence in their children and become their "spiritual backer".

For how to face up to and treat adolescent psychology, parents are advised to read some books on adolescent psychology. After reading it, you can read it to your child, and you can help you complete an equal conversation with your child through books, movies and other media. In this way, you hit the "vaccination" you wanted to hit, and he said what he wanted to say most, thus achieving the purpose of communication.