Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - On a humiliating night, I got the title I wanted.
On a humiliating night, I got the title I wanted.
Rich people in Yaocheng like to patronize Thousand Colors, the most famous top entertainment club in Jindong.
In an office: "What is it?"
"hmm."
"How much do you want?"
"600,000."
"600 thousand? That movie is worth 600 thousand? Little sister, do you think you are made of diamonds? "
Gu Nianxi's white face turned red instantly, and her fingers clung to her skirt: "I only want 600 thousand, I beg you!" " I really need this 600 thousand! "
"Little sister, although you have a good figure and are beautiful, it is not worth 600,000! I can only give you 65438+ ten thousand at most! "
"I only want 600 thousand, please! Help me! " Gu Nianxi's head hung lower. She really needs money. This 600 thousand is too important to her, even more important than her life.
"Don't sell get out! No space! I am not a living Buddha. I can't help you Get out! Get out! I have to interview the next one! ! ! "
Gu Nianxi clung to the door frame, letting those people push and shove, but refused to leave. She has tried her best, and the money she may raise is less than 65,438+10,000!
At the moment she stepped into Qianse, she put down all her self-esteem for this 600,000!
"What's the matter?" A gentle male voice suddenly sounded behind Gu Nianxi.
"Hey, Sue, why are you here?" The man nodded and praised Sue.
Gu Nianxi looked down at the man in the suit, only to see a man standing behind him in a high-end custom handmade suit with a gentle temperament.
I don't know where I got the courage. Gu Nianxi turned and grabbed Sue's arm: "Sir, can you spend 600,000 yuan to buy me for one night?"
Sue's eyes rested on Gu Nianxi's face, and then she smiled gracefully at Gu Nianxi: "Of course."
In the gorgeous retro European villa, several tall men in uniform black suits carried an oversized pink gift box into the master bedroom.
"Three little, this is a 26th birthday present from Sauer. It is said that it is a surprise specially prepared for you. Please open it yourself. "
Su Limeo slowly turned around in front of the huge French window, looked at the huge pink gift box on the bed with cold eyes and said to several men in suits and ties, "Get out."
A gift from Sue? Surprise? He really wants to have a good look!
Su Li-Mo hooked his thin lip slightly, went to the bed, reached out and untied the bow on the pink gift box, opened the lid, and a vivid picture came into view.
I saw a girl in a pink gift box, all wrapped in pink tulle.
Such an attractive picture, Mo's eyes are fixed on the girl's beautiful face.
The next second, Su Li suddenly pinched the girl's chin: "What's your name?"
The western words of "ancient … miss … the west" have not been finished, and the other half has been swallowed by Mo.
Su Mo's kiss was terrible, and I couldn't wait to swallow Gu Nianxi whole.
Gu Nianxi didn't have a chance to resist and was pushed down on the bed by Su Xunmo.
Gu Nianxi tried to push Su Li-Mo away, but at the thought of the 600,000 yuan, his outstretched hand shrank back and he could only grasp the white sheets under him.
Tears could not be controlled, and big ones fell down and landed on Mo's thin lips. It is Zheng who is kissing. Huo Ran got up, took out a set of his own clothes from the closet and threw them in front of Gu Nianxi. The simple and clear way is: "put it on and get out!"
Gu Nianxi quickly got up to dry her tears and put on her clothes in a hurry.
"This is my phone number. I hope that one day you will take the initiative to come to me. " Sue found ink indifferent voice, Gu Nianxi hand has been stuffed with a hot stamping business card.
As soon as he left the room, Gu Nianxi was led out of the villa.
In the extremely luxurious bedroom, Su Limo stood in front of the huge French window, watching Gu Nianxi's lip angle slowly come out downstairs. He said to the humanity behind him, "Send someone to send her back and check the information of this woman and her relationship with Sue."
Returning to his humble rental house, Gu Nianxi began to worry that he had screwed up. I don't know if this 600 thousand can still be credited to her bank card as promised.
I wonder how dad is in the hospital.
Dial a number, and before Gu Nianxi could speak, he began to curse: "Gu Nianxi! Do you have a conscience? Your father's condition deteriorated tonight. He went to the emergency room! The doctor has arranged for an operation tomorrow at the latest. How's your fundraising going? Did you get 600 thousand? I tell you, if your father dies, you will kill him! "
"Mom, dad now? Money ... money ... I'm still trying to find a way. " Gu Nianxi asked in a hurry.
"Every time is to find a way to, I'm afraid you are still trying to get money when your father is dead! Gu Nianxi, you are so beautiful and a college student, I can't believe you can't get this 600 thousand! If you really can't do it, sell it! " Gu Ma swore.
Gu Nianxi with a wry smile, she has long been used to being scolded. If her father hadn't been so kind to her since childhood, she would really think that she was just a child who was taken away, not their own, and her sister Gu Yi was her own.
"Mom, don't worry, I'll try my best to use the money. You take good care of dad. " Gu Nianxi finished and hung up the phone.
Gu Nianxi didn't dare to sleep all night for fear of missing it. She has been staring at the mobile phone information with her eyes open. Her bank card has a bound mobile phone number. If someone deposits money in the card, the bank will send her a message.
This 600 thousand is dad's life-saving money. She really needs it.
Until eight o'clock the next morning, the mobile phone text message rang, and Gu Nianxi quickly opened it. When I saw that my card had been transferred to 600 thousand in the news, Gu Nianxi's hanging heart was finally practical!
Gu Nianxi didn't care about her unkempt appearance, took the bank card, put on a pair of slippers and ran to the hospital.
As soon as the money arrived, the hospital immediately prepared surgery for Gu's father. Eight hours later, the operation was very successful, and Gu's father was out of danger.
After a week, Gu's father recovered almost, and he was afraid of spending money in hospital. Not long after Gu Nianxi graduated from University, he insisted on leaving the hospital for fear of dragging Gu Nianxi down, and returned to his hometown with Gu Ma.
In the gorgeous retro European villa, Su Limo sat behind his desk, lazily playing with his pen and asked, "How's the investigation?"
Te Lezhan nodded respectfully and said, "San Shao, I know." Gu Nianxi, 20 years old, just graduated from college and now works in a real estate company. She was born in a small county near Yaocheng. Her father is a teacher, her mother is unemployed and her sister is in high school.
10 days ago, her father suddenly fell ill and needed 600,000 yuan for surgery. She went to the "Thousand Colors" sales office and met Sue, who bought her for 600,000 yuan and gave it to Sanshao. Besides, she and Sue never met again. "
"See, help me stare at her first. In addition, North America should develop new projects to transfer Su Jinshen. " Su Xunmo rubbed his pen.
After seeing off his parents, Gu Nianxi's life was calm again.
Gu Nianxi sat in the position as soon as she entered the company, and Li's secretary called her into the office.
Gu Nianxi anxiously looked at the middle-aged man with a beer belly and an overly sexy face on the office chair: "What can I do for you, Miss Li?"
"Gu Nianxi, you have only been working for two months, and you have already taken half a month off. Do you still want to do this job? "
"think! Want to! Teacher Li, I will work hard to make up for this half-month work. " Gu Nianxi doesn't want to lose his job. After all, it is too difficult for a fresh graduate like her to find a job.
Li Weiwei smiled and turned his face. His greedy eyes stared at Gu Nianxi's beautiful face and got up and walked beside Gu Nianxi: "Xiaoxi, in fact, you are so beautiful and have a good figure. You don't have to work so hard at all. I like you for a long time. You are my mistress and your salary is three times higher than yours. How about buying you a car? " Li suddenly held out his hand, took the opportunity to hold Gu Nianxi's wrist and took it to his arms.
"ah! Let me go, you are quick to let me go! " Gu Nianxi screamed and struggled. In a panic, she picked up the ashtray on the table and threw it at Li without thinking.
Gu Nianxi stared at the bright red and dazzling blood on Li's head, and his hand shook the ashtray and fell to the ground. Li's answer also fell to the ground.
Finally, he was diagnosed as mild concussion and trauma by the doctor, and the wound on his forehead was stitched with four stitches.
After waking up, I yelled, "You Gu Nianxi, how dare you hit me! A toast, secretary Wang, call the police quickly, and I'll sue her for intentional injury! "
It wasn't long before the police came and brought Gu Nianxi into the police station.
After recording the confession according to the procedure, Gu Nianxi was locked up.
This wait was a week until Mr. Li was discharged from the hospital and came to the police station.
There are only two people in the interrogation room, Gu Nianxi and Li. Gu Nianxi looked haggard, sitting in a chair and handcuffed.
"Gu Nianxi, I won't talk nonsense with you. There are only two ways in front of you now. Either you be my lover, and I can let it go. You can also come out of the police station or go to jail for me. I promise to let you spend three or five years in prison! " Li is confident and full of pride.
"You've had enough! I don't believe that the police will only listen to your side of the story! "
"Gu Nianxi, since you don't cry when you see the coffin, wait!" Say that finish, Li walked out of the interrogation room.
Two policewomen then came in and handed in a confession to Gu Nianxi, who was found guilty and sent to the detention center on the same day.
In the president's office of Mohs Group Building, Le Zhan knocked at the door and went in: "San Shao, something happened to Gu Nianxi, and the crime of intentional injury has now been sent to the detention center. Shall we solve it now? "
He made a gesture in Mo's hand, frowned and pursed his thin and beautiful lips: "Wait, it's time for someone to call me."
Gu Nianxi still remembers the shock when he took the hot stamping business card.
Su Limeo and Gu Nianxi, presidents of Mohs Group, are no strangers to this name. She read it in a financial magazine, and the magazine commented on Su Limeo like this: handsome, rich, young and promising, cold and resolute, you can eat both black and white, and in Yaocheng, you can turn an enemy into a jade and cover your hands for the rain.
She doesn't want to be wronged and imprisoned like this, nor does she want to be someone else's mistress. She doesn't know many people in Yaocheng, and the only one who can help her now is probably Su Limo.
At this time, Gu Nianxi really had to thank her for her good memory. Gu Nianxi borrowed the mobile phone of the police in the detention center and dialed Mo's number.
The phone rang several times before it was connected.
"Who are you?" Sue for ink deep voice makes Gu Nianxi breathing a lag, nervous mind suddenly blank.
The phone in my ear was silent for nearly a minute, and Su Li Mo's pleasant voice broke the silence again: "Gu Nianxi?"
Hearing his name, Gu Nianxi came to her senses and subconsciously shook her mobile phone in the handshake: "It's ... me."
"What's the matter?" When Su Xun picked the corner of his mouth, a fish took the bait.
Gu Nianxi secretly took a deep breath and decided not to talk nonsense with Su Limo. He spoke directly: "Su Limo, I was put in a detention center. Can you help me? "
"Of course." Su Li's voice with a slight smile, he hasn't been called his full name for a long time.
So quickly agreed to let Gu Nianxi one leng, but Su Liumo didn't ask anything, so she readily agreed!
Gu Nianxi thought for a moment and said, "I want to go out as soon as possible."
"An hour." Sue for ink with this absent-minded words directly hung up the phone.
Twenty minutes later, Sue's extended version of Lincoln stopped outside the police station.
The music exhibition with a briefcase followed Su Congmo into the police station.
How many people in Yaocheng know Mo? They have all heard of Mo's background. They all know that this great god can't afford to offend!
Su Xunmo suddenly appeared, and the whole police station was in chaos.
A minute later, the police chief who heard the news personally came to meet Sue who came from Mexico.
"San Shao, what brings you here?" Director Li smiled obsequiously and handed Sue ink with tea in her hands.
Su Limo looked at the tea she handed me lazily, sneered, took out a USB flash drive and threw it in front of Director Li: "Director Li, you dare to arrest my people before the evidence is found out?"
Li, director of the body shaking, hurriedly in my mind to catch people recently want to again, really can't figure out this has something to do with Sue three less, suddenly take up a layer of cold sweat on his forehead.
Su Limo, with an indifferent face, tried to say, "I'm really sorry for the three little ones. Recently, many people have been arrested, and it may be that the bastard below has caught the wrong one. "
"Of course, wrong! Director Li, you'd better see what's inside first. " Sue for ink pointed to the flash drive on the table.
Director Li quickly took the USB flash drive and put it into the computer. It was a video, but the content in the video really scared Director Li into a cold sweat.
"Director Li, I heard that it is your cousin Li Boss?" Sue found ink indifferent voice light way.
"Yes ..." Director Li's voice was trembling.
"Your cousin tried to flirt with this girl, and this girl smashed your cousin in the struggle. Is this not self-defense? "
Director Li wiped her sweat, and her voice trembled even more: "It belongs to self-defense."
"Oh?" Mo's voice rose a little, but she smiled at Director Li: "New, self-defense needs to go to prison!" "
Su Limo's smile was too cautious, and Director Li's legs were weak, except that he didn't kneel down to Su Limo: "I'm really sorry for San Shao. I'll let you go at once. "
Forty minutes later, the director personally opened the iron gate where Gu Nianxi was held. When I entered the door, I kept apologizing, which made Gu Nianxi confused.
"Miss Gu, let's go out first. Sanshao is still waiting outside. " Le Zhan rushed Gu Nianxi with a polite smile.
Three less? You don't have to guess that it's Su Li Mo. Gu Nianxi looked at the wall clock on the wall. She hung up for only 45 minutes and didn't get out for an hour. Su Li-Mo is so efficient.
When Su Limeo led Gu Nianxi out of the police station, he said a meaningful sentence to Director Li: "I heard that Director Li seems to be going to be promoted recently, but what Director Li has done recently is really disturbing. By the way, your cousin is investing in a real estate recently. You need to be cautious when investing in these years. He can go bankrupt in minutes and suffer from extinction. "
Sue found ink words say that finish, director li finally didn't endure, a soft leg knelt down. He knew he was finished.
The next day, the news headline: A police chief colluded with officials and businessmen and took bribes of more than 5 million yuan. It is said that all promotion appointments have come down. Unexpectedly, his official position was changed and he ended up in prison.
Another promoter, Mr. Li, didn't understand what was going on. His newly invested property was found to be a bean curd residue project, and all of it had to be demolished and rebuilt.
The company's funds can't be turned over for a while, so it can only be declared bankrupt.
That night, Sue found ink sent Gu Nianxi back to Gu Nianxi's residence and went away.
Gu Nianxi washed himself from head to toe. During more than a week in the detention center, she couldn't eat well and sleep well. Her hanging heart breathed a sigh of relief when the truth came out. She fell asleep as soon as she touched the bed.
I slept until eleven o'clock the next morning and was finally woken up by the ringing of my cell phone.
Gu Nianxi, who was asleep in a daze, reached out and touched the bedside table for a long time before touching the mobile phone: "Hello?"
"Haven't you woken up yet?" A deep voice on the other end of the phone smiled with silk.
The sound is so profound that it almost goes deep into the bone marrow!
Huo Ran opened his eyes and was wide awake. He sat up hurriedly: "wake up, wake up, leave me alone."
As soon as these three words came out, Gu Nianxi quickly realized his mistake and changed his mouth and said, "San Shao, what do you want with me?"
Su Limeo frowned slightly: "You owe me one. Let's have lunch together at noon today, remember to bring your ID card. "
The phone hung up as soon as the voice fell.
But what about the ID card? Do I have to check my ID card when I eat now? Gu Nianxi's eyelids jumped inexplicably, and a bad feeling suddenly rose in his heart.
Gu Nianxi didn't think of Su Xunmo until she took to the road. She didn't even give her the address. She wondered if Su Xunmo was playing with her on purpose. Two horns sounded across the street.
This is Gu Nianxi's second ride in this luxury car. There is a lot of space inside, and even a sofa. At this time, Su Limeo reclined lazily on the sofa, occupying more than half of the position.
Gu Nianxi found a small corner and sat down. Some of them are not used to this quiet atmosphere. They smiled politely at Su Limo and said hello: "Good morning, Sanshao!"
Su Limo glanced at Gu Nianxi, took a puff at the corner of his mouth and pointed to his wrist watch. "It's already twelve noon."
"Ha ha ....." Gu Nianxi embarrassed smile.
"Do you have your ID card?" Su Li started with ink.
"Yes!" Gu Nianxi patted his bag and thought it was strange for Sue to leave Mo Xiang today, but she couldn't say anything strange.
There was another silence. ...
"Thank you yesterday." Gu Nianxi spoke again.
"You're welcome. I will ask for a reward. " Sue found ink calm way.
"Ah?" Gu Nianxi one leng, this Sue for ink is really direct enough.
"What reward?" Gu Nianxi asked, Su Xunmo's money can kill her, and helping her is definitely not for money, so did Su Xunmo help her?
"Talk while eating." Sue found ink and repose.
Sue for ink a pair of don't want to say, Gu Nianxi had to shut up.
A high-end western restaurant in Yaocheng, the location has been booked.
"What would you like to eat?" Mr. Mo handed the menu to Gu Nianxi first.
Gu Nianxi looked at the name of the dish and then at the price. He ordered the cheapest steak from the corner of his eye.
The food was delivered soon, and Gu Nianxi praised the chef in his heart while eating it. His steak is really great!
Su Mo only ate two bites, then stopped to watch Gu Nianxi eat. Seeing Gu Nianxi's voracious eating, she pursed her lips and felt in a good mood.
Seeing that Gu Nianxi had almost eaten, Suri said silently, "Miss Gu, I am a businessman, and I never do business at a loss. I saved your life yesterday. Now you should exchange something, which is only fair. "
Gu Nianxi lost all appetite. After a moment's reflection, he said, "Sanshao, I don't have much money on me now, but don't worry, I will pay you back as soon as possible."
"I don't want money." Su Limeo's deep eyes suddenly fixed on Gu Nianxi's eyes, pointing to Gu Nianxi's tone: "I want you!"
With a bang, Gu Nianxi dropped his fork on the table, and his head froze for dozens of seconds before he came to his senses. He shook his finger and pointed to himself: "San Shao, you are kidding me." What do you want me to do? "
"I want you to marry me."
With the crack, Gu Nianxi's brain collapsed decisively again. After the restart, Gu Nianxi looked at Sue for ink. Does Su Xunmo really want to marry her?
"Haha, Sanshao, this joke is quite funny." Gu Nianxi difficult tearing corners of the mouth to laugh.
"Do you think I'm joking?"
Gu Nianxi's smile froze in the corners of her mouth, and she couldn't hold it any longer. She just said frankly, "Why me?"
"Because you just owe me one, and I just need to get married, so fair trade, I saved you, you marry me." Sue's gift car of course.
"Can I say no?" Gu Nianxi canthus a smoke asked.
"Of course." Su Limeo raised his eyebrows. "But since the transaction failed, you naturally have to go back to your original position. By the way, I specifically asked my chief lawyer today. It is said that you will be imprisoned for at least three years in this case. "
Yes, Sue for ink can help her out, and naturally it can also help her out again.
If there are only two choices, one is to go to jail, and the other is to marry Su Limo. In contrast, it seems that marrying Su Limo is not so bad, not to mention that Su Limo is handsome and rich, and it seems that marrying him has nothing to lose. Gu Nianxi comforted himself in his mind.
After a silence, Gu Nianxi shook hands and decided to speak first: "It is ok to make a deal, but I also have conditions. First, our marriage is confidential. Second, I hope this is a nominal marriage, and you can find any woman you like. "
"I don't mind the first one. As for the second one ... "Su Limo continued with an ambiguous smile:" I am a fully functional adult man, and I haven't thought about making my wife a grass widow for the time being. "
After Su Li-Mo looked at Gu Nianxi who was still in a daze and asked, "Gu Nianxi, are you full?"
Gu Nianxi nodded inexplicably, feeling that Sue's thinking of finding ink is really better than her. One minute she was discussing the issue of the grass widow, and the next she asked her if she was full.
"I'll take you somewhere when you're full." Sue found ink and got up and walked beside Gu Nianxi, vomited and left Gu Nianxi.
Gu Nianxi's eyes opened wide all the way, staring straight at Sue for ink and her clenched hand. Why didn't you let go when you got on the bus? Gu Nianxi worked hard, but as a result, Su Li held on even tighter.
Gu Nianxi wanted Sue to let go of Mo Li, but Sue closed her eyes and looked like I was asleep and didn't want to talk to me.
Gu Nianxi really can't do anything about this great god.
The car drove directly to the downstairs of the Civil Affairs Bureau, and Gu Nianxi was dragged in by Su of the ink company before he could see it clearly.
When Gu Nianxi reacted to take photos, sign and stamp, the female staff of the Civil Affairs Bureau had handed Gu Nianxi two red notebooks with a big smile: "Congratulations, you are really husband and wife. I wish you two a long life together. "
Grow old together? Gu Nianxi shivered and quickly opened the red notebook handed me. I saw her and Sue's photo on the ink and a red seal. She and he are legally married now!
This speed is too fast! She doesn't even have a chance to go back on her word!
Su Limeo put away her red notebook, raised her hand and rubbed Gu Nianxi's hair tips, smiling at Gu Nianxi. "Well, now you are my wife."
Gu Nianxi was so bewitched by that coquetry smile that those grievances in her heart suddenly vanished without a trace. It's so beautiful to blame Sue for leaving Mexico.
What's done is done, Gu Nianxi has to accept the fact that he has married Suri Mo.
After leaving the Civil Affairs Bureau and getting on the bus, Su Limo looked at Gu Nianxi, who was still in a daze, and said, "When your place is ready, move in with me."
"Ah?" During Gu Nianxi's stay, the word cohabitation immediately popped up in his mind. He was about to refute, but he thought of the two red notebooks again, and suddenly he was disheartened. They are legally living together now.
"Oh." Gu Nianxi pretended to be calm, knowing it already.
In the chaos, I remembered Su Xunmo's ambiguous statement that she didn't want to be a widow. Several discordant pictures immediately floated in my mind, and then I blushed instantly. I only hope that time will pass slowly, and it is best to stop at this moment!
The Civil Affairs Bureau is only ten minutes' drive from Gu Nianxi's residence, and it will soon arrive at Gu Nianxi's residence.
Gu Nianxi looked at his humble room and found that he could actually pack only a few clothes.
Gu Nianxi packed everything in half an hour.
Silently all the way to Sue for ink villa, Gu Nianxi was put into a gift box when she came to the villa last time. She never thought that she would set foot here again last time and married Sue for ink.
As soon as I entered the villa, a middle-aged woman with a kind face and simple clothes greeted me: "The young master is back."
Su Limo nodded and introduced while changing shoes: "This is Zhang Ma, who is in charge of our daily life. You can find her if you have anything in the future. "
Gu Nianxi greeted Zhang Ma with a polite smile: "Hello, Zhang Ma, my name is Gu Nianxi."
"Strictly speaking, she is my wife now." Su Limeo added.
Zhang Ma didn't react at the moment, so she was surprised to put an egg in her mouth.
You know, she has worked in the Su family for eighteen years. Except that woman, the young master has never brought another woman home. Now the young master also says that this girl is his wife, but the young master finally got married.
After Zhang Ma came to her senses, she went to cook happily.
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