What are the classic jokes in Joker Xue and Weibo?

Counting the domestic entertainment circle, the only thing that can compete with Zhang Wei, a world-class boutique, is Joker Xue's mental illness!

After reading the jokes written by Joker Xue in Weibo in recent years, I almost ... made me laugh until I cried every minute!

1

Joker Xue wrote to the fans:

I am already an unknown person. ....

Thank you for not giving up. ....

I want to give my life to repay all beings. ....

But the physical strength is not up to standard. ....

But how can this wonderful moment be negative? ....

Birthday wishes and reality coexist. ....

Whether I take the road of serving people with good deeds or hitting people in the street in the future.

Promise ... this song is worth it. ...

Um ... people who listen to music. ...

2

Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in Shanghai, Joker Xue;

When I measured it, I counted that the underwear was only 1 10 kg. ...

Shaved armpit hair when uncovered, weighing125kg. ....

I can't see it in the photo because I pushed it a little. My face. ..

If you don't believe me, send a video to try. ...

Men ... exist like rulers ... warn me. ...

Chongqing must lose weight as soon as it appears. ...

10 minutes later .. If you see me running on the Bund. ...

Don't feed me ... thank you. ...

three

Joker Xue responded to the scalper ticket:

four

Joker Xue criticized a person:

five

Joker Xue's quotations from late-night literature:

Someone who understands my songs. ...

Are you like me? ....

Drinking ... before you dare tell the truth. ...

Wait until dawn .. and then slowly accumulate .. the next truth. ...

six

Joker Xue dyed a new song:

seven

Joker Xue speaks for KFC:

When I was a child, my family was poor.

You can only eat KFC twice a year.

No more than 20 yuan per meal.

If you want an extra pair of chicken wings, my father will fight.

Lick the box after eating.

Lick the handrail when you go downstairs.

I pray every night.

I hope grandpa KFC will be my grandpa one day.

I hope I can eat KFC for free in the future.

Today's dream has come true.

I speak for KFC.

eight

Joker Xue's perception of life;

One thing is indisputable ... makes sense.

One thing is controversial ... it is valuable.

Greed in this era has varied. ...

You can neve awaken a person with a goal. ...

But the most meaningless ... must be for this reason. ...

It is said that scholars turn right and wrong into advantages and disadvantages. ..

Hide the copper coin in your sleeve and laugh. Where are the guns and deaths in Delhi? ..

nine

Joker Xue talks about new songs:

I wanted to write a lot recently, but I held back. ....

So slowly accumulate. .....

March ... it will be sunny outside the window. ...

It's like you just passed my windowsill ...

Stick out your head ... I think of the music in my ear. .....

Take another deep breath ... I'll miss you. ...

What a wonderful thing it is. ....

But I am looking forward to hearing my new song soon. ...

10

Joker Xue talked about procrastination:

That ~

Don't rush me. ...

I am also a proud person. ...

slow work yields fine products ......

skilled worker ...

Culturally cultivated ......

Is how to delay the manuscript. ......

1 1

Joker Xue responded to the busy work:

12

Joker Xue responded to gastroenteritis:

I dreamed that I was a vulture with high amputation. ...

Found the scooter that suits you best. ...

Proud of finding your own race. ...

Only to find out that he is a pheasant in the family tree. ....

In grief ...

I'm slowly recovering. ....

13

Joker Xue positive energy:

In this world, there is no talent without talent.

Only infertility

14

Joker Xue's attitude towards music;

I never write advertising songs. ...

Not before, and never will. ...

Because I know very well ...

If one day I am not sincere about music. ...

The audience naturally dispersed. ...

15

Joker Xue met a turtle:

A turtle climbed onto my music score. ....

I covered my stomach with those two words that I couldn't think of in a circle.

Then put on a pretense of being righteous and rich. ....

Look down on me ...

Do you want venture capital or sponsor me?

Is it okay if I take money but I don't accept adoption?

Heroes cherish heroes ....

You have never been an ordinary turtle. ...

There are books you have read and people you have loved in your temperament.

As the old saying goes.

"Young people don't work hard ... the boss dances ballet."

I am naked ... but I will not be misled. ...

Judging from the tattoo on your hind leg. ....

As long as you don't eat aphrodisiac by mistake. .....

You must be my guest. ....

I believe ...

This turtle is my destiny takes a hand. ....

16

Joker Xue-style literary quotations:

It's good to be busy. ....

Can I change some money for drinks? ....

It's good to have no chance to fall in love with you. ....

Can you change some sad love songs? ....

17

Joker Xue talked about drunk driving being investigated;

18

Joker Xue changed her name:

This is a very serious matter. ...

I have always been puzzled by the English name guessed by guessing boxing when I debuted.

So, starting today. ...

My English name has been changed to. ..

Joker

(Clown) (Monster) (Bomb ...)

Hereby inform you

To avoid embarrassment ...

Call me Jacky's friend again in public.

Forgive me for not going back to reward each other. ..

May you be one of the remaining 60 people who turn around. ...

Can ... find a bosom friend ..

May the name ... be changed smoothly.

Hope ... world peace. ....

19

Joker Xue talks about race walking;

20

Joker Xue talks about fairness:

2 1

Joker Xue talks about high-speed rail seats;