Humorous short sentences

1, the world is so chaotic, who are you pretending to be innocent for?

2, the crowd looked for her thousands of Baidu, suddenly looking back, that person is in the marriage registry.

Nowadays, women can't be called miss or elder sister. What should her name be?

4. Failure is success.

5. When there is no money, there are a group of friends; When you have money, there are a group of bodyguards. ...

Dear God, please give me a deskmate at the beginning of school!

7, a penny for a penny, porridge is not hungry.

8. If you use honey trap, I will cooperate with you.

Don't worry, mother-in-law, I will definitely go later than your daughter.

10, who failed to live up to his insistence, who is obsessed with his hoary head. You use silence to avoid me, then I will help you without contacting.

1 1, I can't sing out of tune, I just like singing my own songs.

12, explanation is cover-up, cover-up is telling stories.

13, we walk so fast that our souls can't keep up.

14, maybe one day, when you put on your wedding dress, I will have put on my cassock.

15, missed years, colorful flowers, and barren spring and summer.

16, I have a heart, but I broke it after meeting you.

17, don't tell me to grow old together, I want black hair all my life. ...

18, gradually, gradually, there are always some people who become cheap.

19, fooling around, you will get bored sooner or later.

20, Tanabata is good at home, why bother to be messy in the wind.

2 1, life is like a dream, I can't sleep; Life is like a play, I wear help; Life is like a song, I'm out of tune.

22. The teacher handed out papers, and the girl at the back took an extra one, shouting "Teacher, I have it, I have it". As a result, the boy sitting next to him said, "It's mine, it's mine".

If you are well, it will be sunny. But it has been raining heavily for a week. You won't die.

When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

25. Are you tired? Smiling is not tiring, but being angry is tiring; Simple is not tiring, complex is tiring; Acacia is not tired, but unrequited love is tired; If you are not tired together, a person is tired; Love is not tired, disability is tired; Single-minded love is not tired, but promiscuous love is tired; Friendship is not tired, but love is tired; Really not tired, false feeling tired; Friends are not tired, enemies are tired; Selfishness is not tired, but selfishness is tired; Gains and losses are not tiring, but caring is tiring; Whether you are physically tired or mentally tired, you are tired. ...

Humorous sentences

1, I love him without hesitation, and I hope he can understand, even if he doesn't, it doesn't matter. Who told me to love him? !

You are the flattest woman in the world that I have ever seen. You are not an airport. You are simply a basin, and there will be water in rainy days!

3. Qian Shan has been in love, can you give some points? The world has its own true feelings, and giving a perfect score is also love!

4, fart and take off your pants, take a few more steps, don't fall in love and be jealous. What a fool! If you don't study, you will fall into the river and try to catch pearls when you die!

We rested for two days at the weekend, and everyone is very tired now.

God, please let me grow five centimeters taller, and I am willing to lose ten pounds. . .

7. It suddenly occurred to me that more than half of my life was wasted pretending to do homework.

8. I saw a girl in the street, and her black silk was almost white.

9. Holy shit. This is going to be sent!

10, look at you! Look at the back, there are thousands of troops; Turn around and scare away millions of heroes.

1 1. Don't complain that there is no beef in the beef noodles, and there is no wife in the old lady's cake.

12, my ideal world: money grows on trees, the house cleans automatically, the weather is always beautiful, and I want to eat ice cream if I want to lose weight.

13, parents: Please don't call your children rabbits, because from a genetic point of view, this is very bad for you.

14, you smell her perfume, which is not as expensive as mine.

15, I can't help but want to smoke at the thought of the reunification of the motherland.

16, I have an impulse to take a nap as soon as I get up in the morning.

17, whether you die or not, I am here, waiting for you to die.

18, the teacher spoke very smartly and the students listened very nervously.

19, what is the most disobedient thing that others have said to you? Call me ugly.

20. I have stopped hitting on you, why are you hitting on me?

2 1, choose mature women, the skirt is easy to pull. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

22. Lack of social experience means lack of exercise.

23, really creative, really brave to live!

24. After taking so many final exams, why not have an anniversary celebration? For example, if you score 40 points, you will score 20 points; If you have passed two exams, you will take one; Take two courses and you'll be exempted from the exam or something.

25, but gold will always shine, you glass slag can only reflect light.

26, peacock desperately opened the screen, but showed his ass!

27. When smart people are at their wits' end, the methods that stupid people come up with must be the most useful!

28. Everyone says I am ugly, but I am beautiful.

29, oh yeah! Usually normal, sometimes a little crazy. Who dares to rob my wife? I'll dig his ancestral grave!

30. No one is born afraid of death, and no one is born afraid of death, so don't pretend!

3 1. Time is for wandering, body is for loving, life is for forgetting, and soul is for singing.

32. I want to do two things today: 1, I miss you; 2. Lying to you

I said: How can I thank you for your kindness? Let me marry you! He said, "How can I bite the hand that feeds me?

34. The face is a thing apart from the body. Do you want it or not? Money is a must, and you must do it.

Even if the heavy rain turns the whole city upside down, I will get to school before seven o'clock.

36. Say one thing and do another. This is called the depth of sex.

For a person who looks like a failure, looking in the mirror is equivalent to watching a ghost film.

38, take off your pants and dry the sky, I x this world!

39, nine chrysanthemums and eight pieces of secular desire to tear, three transgressions and two explosions, this is what you want.

40. Have you ever touched a boy's face? Have you ever held the hand of a boy? Have you ever raised a boy's arm over your shoulder?

4 1, the other half didn't get 100, only two people got 50 points!

42. I hope to have a deskmate in Shuai Shuai when I start school. Many girls send him love letters and many snacks. Finally, he threw them at me with a look of disgust.

43, you win, I accompany you to the world! You lost, I will accompany you to make a comeback!

44. The class teacher made a slip of the tongue, saying that the person who took my class was the one who took my class.

Please don't seduce my third leg with your second mouth.

46. In class, a note came from a children's shoe. When I saw the content, I really wanted to beat him up. It said: Are you there?

47. I won't hit you, you don't know that I am both civil and military. Humorous sentences

48. Honey, are you dead? Hold me tight when you die, and let the corpse collector know that we are a couple!

49. Don't play Korean dramas with my mother-in-law.

50. Baidu can't find you, so I'm going to sogou.

5 1, I accidentally want to grow old with you.

Excuse me, is your coffin sliding or flipping?

I always thought that everything would be fine as long as I died.

54. Not bad! People are forced out.

55. Today is my treat. I can eat any lobster or crab I like. I just like to eat with shells. Waiter, serve delicious melon seeds.

56. The face is a thing outside the body, but it is necessary. Money is a necessary thing, and it is necessary.

No one will give you a step, so you'd better move a chair yourself.

58, dead! There is no hope! I am unwilling, I still have a wish, that is, put on my evening dress, jump into a bath full of beautiful women and be killed by them!

Some people are alive, but she is dead. Some people are still alive, and he should have died!

60. You have cried, but your eye shadow is more beautiful.

6 1, the child is sick and old, what should I do? Hit it-

Haha, crazy, I haven't heard that name for a long time.

A child who drinks for an hour and bites a straw for half an hour should be happy.

64. What did you look like before the accident? Those humorous sentences

65. Woman, do you have any reason not to be strong? You are an animal that will not die after bleeding for a week.

66. Determined to be a rogue with temperament, a pervert with taste, and an illiterate with knowledge!

67. A child who drinks for an hour and bites a straw for half an hour should be happy.

68. Love is like gambling. People with red eyes bet their organs.

69. If one day I am disabled, I want to know that besides my mother, there will be a woman crying her eyes out, and besides my father, there will be a man.

70. I love you, but you must sleep with me.

7 1, smoke, keep the poison gas for yourself and the heat for the earth. It's not my fault that the earth is warming, it's all caused by paying taxes according to law. What's wrong with me smoking? I paid the tax. I smoke for money, and you smoke secondhand smoke. That's free. You don't have to pay any taxes. No tax, no right to speak.

72. God knows nothing. I know nothing, because I am second only to God.

73. If you are in a bad mood, go to the supermarket to knead instant noodles (super right! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! )

74. There is nothing to say about going to a brothel.

75. I want to cry when I hear I love you for the first time, laugh when I hear I love you for the second time, and laugh when I hear I love you for the third time.

76. Director: Real art is priceless! Actor: We should devote ourselves to art! Reporter: Can you get out of bed and take some photos first?

Personals: The requirements are as follows: A is alive and B is female.

78. I don't know whose wife is in my bed, and neither does my wife!

79. I think a fly lying on the glass has a bright future, but it can't find a way out.

80. When a woman tells you that she hates you, she likes you. When a man tells you that he hates you, he really hates you.

8 1, like is a touch of love; Love is deep love. The latest humorous sentences

82. A man who treats women badly in this life will become a seven-dimensional space in the next life.

83. In a pigsty, there is no need to pay attention to human etiquette.

If you dare to betray me, I will kill you with my long hair.

85. Fill her emptiness with your surplus!

86. If you like this post of kissouno's friend, [Please click here to vote for extra support].

87. People who are not afraid of death are not born, so don't pretend to be TM!

Please don't be nice to girls you don't like. If you can't bear the pain, please don't pretend at the beginning.

89. It's not the end of the road, but the turn.

You must come to be my partner on the wedding day, because we promised to walk into the marriage hall together.

9 1, whenever the charge sounded, I quickly hid in the trench because: I am undercover!

92. My future daughter has a strong godmother group.

93. Two people will quarrel, not because they have no feelings, but because they have too deep feelings.

94. Every time I do a math problem, I always write a solution first, and then, it's gone.

95. Last year, even monks traded in stocks. This year, stock speculators became monks.

96. Sweet, fragrant, spicy, sour and bitter-but you just like coquettish.

97. Call elder sister first, then younger sister, then daughter-in-law!

98. Raise pigs without money; Get a dog if you have money. Those who have no money eat wild vegetables at home, and those who have money eat wild vegetables in hotels. Those who have no money ride bicycles on the road, and those who have money ride bicycles in the living room. Those who have no money want to get married, and those who have money want to get divorced. Wives and secretaries without money, secretaries and wives with money. Those who have no money pretend to have money, and those who have money pretend to have no money.

99. Kill the bird man, I am an angel!

100. Just registered a user named Dad on a website. As a result, I sent an email At first, I was dumbfounded. It says: Hello, Dad, your user name has been registered successfully!

10 1, four great scholars: Shen Jiayi, Guli, Hu Yifei and Jiang Zhishu.

102, what is the most lonely sentence that makes you feel? You just didn't hand in your homework.

103, Tomb-Sweeping Day On that day, I found a thick wallet on the road. I am ecstatic. Open it and it's all paper money! Heaven said, where did you get such good luck in life? So I grabbed my wallet and killed it by the roadside!

104, three wishes in life: one is to eat, the other is to sleep, and the third is to laugh.

105, Mr. Homework, let's break up, because you really don't suit me. I'm in love with Mr. Summer vacation.

106, if you can't dress your woman in a wedding dress, then don't stop and untie her clothes!

107, I am too pure, and my purity is shameless!

108, I once liked her broad mind, but it was nothing more than an airport!

109, the sky is falling, you hold it, I hold it!

1 10, you are not my beauty contact lens, why should I take you seriously?

1 1 1. Happiness is that although you didn't listen in class, you found that the listener didn't understand.

1 12, our goal: look at money and earn more.

1 13, there are always 30 days in a month that I don't want to study.

1 14. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother.

1 15, you have no idea how much I envy those people who can see you, hear your voice and talk to you every day *

1 16, my girlfriend and I separated. In fact, our sex life is quite harmonious. I am impotent and she is indifferent.

1 17. Get up and cry when you fall ~ ~ ~

1 18, reading it makes me cramp, and Sven is like a diaper rash!

1 19, Baidu checked how to get the first place. The best answer is that his girlfriend was finally molested.

120, since I bought insurance, I don't have to look at the traffic lights when crossing the road.

12 1. The world is so complicated and people are so confused. .

122, a man's lies can deceive a woman for one night, and a woman's lies can deceive a man for a lifetime!

123, I am the most honest. Never lie. Except this sentence.

124, people always deceive themselves, because it is easier than deceiving others.

125, listen to you and save me ten books!

126, my wife supported me to buy a car for the first time, so I didn't have to worry about taking things when I went to see my mother, and I could bring more things back when I went to see your mother.

127, who can read it all at once, red carp and green carp donkey.

128, you two, or two, two there, no three no four.

129. Some people meet like meteors. In an instant, generate had an enviable spark, but it was destined to pass in a hurry.

130, abstinence, do not disturb! Or I'll break the rules.

13 1, commitment is like fart, earth-shattering, and then pale and powerless.

132, prostitution is due to lack of money, and now prostitution is due to lack of men.

133 girl, don't treat a slag in the sea as a flower by the lake ~

134. Do you like meat? Of course! Great, so you like me 100%!

135, some songs fall in love after listening to the prelude, some people fall in love at first sight, and some homework doesn't want to be done after opening the first page.

136, I am left with eight honors and right with eight disgraces, representing the harmony between the waist and the chest. People stop killing, and Buddha stops killing Buddha!

137, the difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people!

138, some people say that if you have a child, you won't have dysmenorrhea. Have one!

139, hi! Did you get my message? What's the matter with you? Smile, okay? You look good when you smile.

140, choosing a name is really important. That day, I saw a person's name is very unique, called silver sword; Unfortunately, his surname is Fan.

14 1, love is just one word, I didn't do it once!

142, a woman has two mouths, one for telling right and wrong, and the other for eating people.

143, be a rogue with temperament, a pervert with taste, and an illiterate with knowledge!

144, if you are destined not to give me the expected response. Then keep a safe distance.

145, why do you have to sleep for a long time before you die?

146, I won't go to school if the sun doesn't come out; If I come out, I'll go back to sleep!

147, squatting in the toilet and counting maggots is disgusting anyway!

148, bought a bitch last year.

149, give me your bank account number, and I will pay you back now. When I received this message, I was deeply moved.

150, don't fall asleep in class, just bury your drunkenness on the wine table.

15 1. If you are an angel, the price of seeing you is my death.

152, the most mysterious thing in the world is a man's nipple, because no one knows what it is used for.

153, not for the purpose of examination, but for hooliganism.

154, bid farewell to masturbation and look for love. Exercise JJ every day and enjoy it.

155, probably only the word' heard' in the rumor is true.

156, if the mid-term score slaps you, then the final exam slaps you. Are you sure the final exam didn't sting you?

157, learning to bully during exams is like Wifi, and people within 0/0 meter of Fiona Fang/kloc are asking for passwords.

158, when a man is in pain, he measures it, and when a woman is in pain, he measures it. But when a man is happy, he says, when a woman is happy, he says!

159, it is safe to walk in space, but it is dangerous to drink milk!

160, it broke my heart to see skinny African refugees on TV, but my grandmother said, honey, don't be fooled by TV now, they will have no money to eat, and their mother will take them to have a perm!

16 1, someone always says in front of me: live first, then live. But I found that when you are busy with life, life is gone.

162, there may be love in this world, just as experts are studying whether there are aliens.

163, every foodie is a messenger of justice because they dare to challenge the forces of hunger. Dude, I appreciate your ambition. Your ideal is to eat all the good meat in the world! Drink all the wine in the world!

164, there is a chainsaw in the refrigerator, people are in the pot and food is on the bed.

165, time, it's true that meat buns beat dogs.

166, close your eyes and fantasize about growing old with you. Tears streamed down her face.

167, your mother ran away and your father lost it.

168, teacher, just follow the old lady! It's been a long time, teacher, please spare the old woman!

169. If the leader doesn't give me a raise next month, I will resign. Before I resign, I will give him two Chinese and kill him.

170, is your child eating human milk or your milk now!

17 1, loving you at the same time is the beginning of my challenge to moths.

172. Slag tells Slag that it is friendship, Slag tells Slag that it is love, Slag tells Slag that it is love, and Bully tells Slag that it is the final exam!

173, cut the wire with a kitchen knife, sparking and lightning all the way.

I knew you were Uber as soon as I opened my eyes.

175, China synchronized diving, daughter-in-law and mother-in-law should be the best pair of partners, because for decades, they always dive at the same time.

176 you know, even if the heavy rain turns the city upside down, I have to go back to school when school starts.

177, your future depends on your dreams now, so go to sleep!

178, my hair is long and I am worried. Don't think an old woman is not a monk just because she has long hair. In fact, I have been thinking about the teacher in the arms of Taoist priests.

179 for me, living itself is already a compromise with god.

180, the purpose of chatting: make friends with netizens, lovers with friends, wives with lovers, and strangers with wives. .

18 1. What if it's hot? Confess to the person you like, and your heart will soon get cold.

[mail? Protected]

183, true good friends are not topics that can't be discussed together, but together, even if they don't talk, they won't feel embarrassed.

184, ~ Drunk in love, girl, don't laugh ~ Legend of the invincible capital of love ~ Several heroes in ancient times returned ~ The whole army was wiped out under the show skirt ~!

185, at the risk of being abused and crying by mosquitoes, chatting with your mobile phone screen on is true love.

The classroom is where the living stay. If it's too noisy, you can go to the morgue.

Humorous sentences

Choose humorous sentences.

1. Lie down where you fell.

2. I'm not a prince, why do girls always think they should be a princess when they see me!

The most contradictory place between lovers is dreaming about each other's future, but thinking about each other's past.

If you are angry for one minute, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.

5. Being busy is a kind of happiness, which makes us have no time to experience the pain; Running around is a kind of happiness, which makes us truly feel life; Fatigue is a kind of enjoyment, which leaves us no time to be empty.

6. Life is like "breathing". "Breathe" is to take a breath, and "suck" is to fight for a breath.

7. Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.

8. Marriage is to wear cotton-padded clothes freely. It's inconvenient to move, but it will be warm.

9. The hero is very sad about Beauty Pass. I'm not a hero, but the beauty let me through.

10. Play hard: you can only play if you have a life. If your life is gone, what can you play?

1 1. The journey of exploration is not to discover new land, but to cultivate new perspectives.

12. I didn't mean to be different. How can I have outstanding taste?

13. How far a person can go depends on who he walks with; How good a person is depends on who gives him advice; How successful a person is depends on who he is with.

14. Sighing is the most wasteful thing, and crying is the most wasteful thing.

15. Close my eyes and I see my future. ...

16. If the road is rough, just shout and go on.

17. You don't know what dependence is until you lose your belt.

18. Life is sometimes like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.

19. The sea is wide enough for fish to jump and the drum to break.

20. The grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

2 1. Smoke is not obedient, so we smoke.

22. The place where a person cares more is the place where he feels most inferior.

I don't want to hurt you either. Go to the zoo to see if there is a job suitable for you. If you run in the street like this, you will be easily hit.

24. I was challenged to say, bring it on. I didn't answer, but ran away and knocked him down with Monday morning quarterback.

25. If I don't beat you, I will turn against you …

26. The wind is rustling and the water is cool, and the strong man does not stop diarrhea!

27. I caught a frog and put it in the water to learn' breaststroke' with the frog. I learned it in a few days! I caught another dog and threw it into the water. I learned to' plane the dog' in a few days! I caught another sheep and put it in the water to learn backstroke. A few days later, the sheep died! Suddenly one day when I wanted to learn butterfly stroke, my father was scared away!

28. After several decades, we will meet again and send them to the crematorium. They will all be burned to ashes, one for you and one for me. No one knows anyone, and they have to be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer.

In Africa, when the gazelle wakes up every morning, it knows that it must run faster than the fastest lion, or it will be eaten. When the lion wakes up every morning, he knows that he must catch up with the slowest gazelle, or he will be hungry.

When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me. ...

3 1. If you want to know what despair is, buy a bunch of lottery tickets.

32. Sincerity is not as good as a red envelope. Feelings are just sexual needs.

33. Once you learn to break the jar and break the fall, you will find the world suddenly enlightened.

34. Do things when you are awake, read books when you are confused, and sleep when you are angry.

35. Knowing what you can do shows that you are growing; Knowing what you can't do shows that you are maturing.

36. I think there are only two kinds of people in the world who can attract people. One is beautiful, the other is you.

The biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former.

38. Life is like an angry bird. There are always a few pigs laughing when they fail.

39. Youth is like mahjong. You must shoot or touch yourself. How many otaku and rotten women have been counted, and how many institutions have been counted, just to enjoy the moment of being knocked down.

40. The main reason why I don't study well is that the teacher is ugly. If she is beautiful, I will study hard.

4 1. Happiness is a comparative level, and you can only feel it when something is at the bottom.

42. Take other people's road and leave others with no way out.

43. Rich people hold a money field, and those who have no money go home and get some money to hold a money field.

44. The Fairy Descent tells the story of Yong Dong riding a fairy!

45. One day, I dreamed that I spent all my money. When I woke up, my pocket was really empty. ...

46. There are two things in this world that can change people, one is time and the other is suffering.

47. A person is not alone, but when he misses someone.

48. I am a bird. I can't fly high because the cage is too high!

49. When you grow up, marry Tang Yan to be your husband. Play if you can. If you can't play, you can eat him

50.death Whether you are a lion or a gazelle, you'd better start running when the sun rises.

Talking about humorous phrases

1, I wanted to turn around beautifully, but I hit the wall in a low-key way.

If the girl swallows her tears, you win.

3, hiding a knife in a smile is not terrible, what is terrible is that it can't be prevented.

4. The personality you think is actually blind.

5, look up and smile, cover up the desolation in your heart.

6, everyone looked for her for thousands of Baidu, suddenly turned around, and that person still shrugged off me.

7. You told me to get out, and I got out. You asked me to come back. I'm sorry. I'm leaving.

8, people are unlucky, drinking cold water will also plug their teeth; Water is even more unlucky, even if you drink it, you will be trapped between your teeth.

9. Maybe love is like a fallen leaf. It seems to be flying, but it is actually falling.

10, beauty is in the eyes of all beings, and idiots are in the eyes of ruthlessness.

1 1, learn to be a strong girl, without affectation, hair loss, cowardice, and how to live proudly.

12, even if all the men in the world are dead, you can't touch your girlfriend's men.

13, behind every successful man, there will be a woman who is full and has nothing to do.

14. The boy I once loved had the most handsome back in the world.

15, I am a child with poor English, and I even know wifi.

16, I am most afraid that people who are very important to me will suddenly leave without saying goodbye.

17, people have lived all their lives. Don't be too cold in winter, too hot in summer, don't pretend to be poor if you have money, and don't show off if you have no money. Smiling is better than frowning.

18, I studied sacred knowledge, and you actually measured it with scores, which is simply an academic stain! Vulgar!

19, I must be a shiny psycho in your mediocre life.

20. When arguing with others, take a step back and broaden your horizons; When chasing a girlfriend, take a step back and go to an empty building.

I've done many stupid things, but I don't care. My friends call it self-confidence.

22, playing dumb, if done well, called great wisdom is stupid; Well done, it is called deep.

23, I probably have a bunch of diseases, amnesia, paranoia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, neuropathy, I am sick.

24. There is a vine on the high mountain. There are two bells hanging on the vine. The wind blows the vine, and the bronze bells move. The wind died down and the vines stopped.

25. Because I love you wholeheartedly, I can only give you up mercilessly.