A humorous and sarcastic 150-word composition

The little girl loves to cry, and grandma is impatient with the noise, so she coaxed her and said, Good boy, stop crying! When a girl cries, her face becomes ugly. At this point, the little girl really stopped crying, but she looked at her grandmother for a long time and then asked, Grandma, how many times have you cried since you were a child?

It's too early to be happy

A young man wants to enlist in the army, and the ophthalmologist in the military hospital wants to check his eyesight. The young man comes to pick him up.

Admit that you are nearsighted when you are examined. After the examination, the doctor said, "Yes, you are right.

It's myopia. "The young man was very happy to hear this sentence.

"Dear doctor, then I can be exempted from military service?" The doctor shook his head and said, "No. ...

I wrote that I could take part in hand-to-hand combat.

Elephant sandwich

The customs officer stopped a passenger and asked him if he had anything to declare.

"No." The passenger replied.

"Are you sure you haven't?"

"Of course."

"What about the elephant with a piece of bread in your ear behind you?"

"Sir, what I put in the sandwich is entirely my own business!"

Gangster 1

A condemned man asked Interpol, "What time is it?" % Interpol snapped, "I'm going to die,

Why ask the time? "The prisoner said," this is the event of my life. Remember that this time is very important to me.

It means a lot to me. "

Gangster 2

A gangster listened to the priest's sermon.

The priest said, "It is better to make more friends than to offend one enemy ..."

"I have no enemies." The gangster said.

"Great, why are there no enemies?" "I killed them all!"

Gangster 3

The thief went to church for mass. The priest asked, "What brings you here? You didn't steal the fire this week.

Chicken steak? ""No, not one. "

"Did other chickens steal it?" "No."

"Great, you are one step closer to God."

Whispered, "If he asks me if I stole the duck, I will stay away from God."

Gangster 4

The policeman asked a criminal who was about to be hanged what he wanted for breakfast. "Yes, I remember,

I like peaches best. "said the criminal.

"You know, it's winter and there are no peaches!" The police said.

"Never mind, I can wait."

Singular and plural

Teacher: "Nick, do you know singular and plural?"

Nick: "I see."

Teacher: "Tell me, is' pants' singular or plural?"

Nick: "It's singular above and plural below."

worry

The wife said to her husband, "Every time you go out, I am worried." "Dear, don't bear.

Heart, "the husband comforted her," I will come back at any time. " "This is what I'm worried about. "withered

I hope it's blood.

There was a Scotsman walking in the street with a bottle of whisky in his back pocket. Unfortunately, he was killed.

The car knocked down. He stood up and felt in his pocket. He felt a little damp. "ouch!"

He snorted. "I hope it's blood! ! "

Don't eat eggs

The lioness gave birth to a little lion, and the little lion wanted to eat. The bitch gave birth to a puppy, and the puppy came to eat.

"……

"In other words, all mothers have to eat."

Little Tom thought and thought, always looking for a guy who was born not to eat, but he found it three times in a row.

I haven't thought of it for days.

On the fourth day, he finally figured it out. He saw it with his own eyes. This is a fact. He ran to tell the old man.

Teacher: "Teacher, hens lay eggs, but don't eat them!" " "

of course

A man keeps a parrot that can only say "of course", so he decides to sell it. "Your parrot?

How much is Nautilus? "Asked the buyer 1000 yuan. "The seller replied." Why is it so expensive? "

"My parrot is very clever!" "Parrot, are you smart?" Asked the buyer. "Of course."

The buyer then bought the parrot. When he found that parrots can only say "of course", he said angrily, "Only a fool would spend 1000 yuan to buy such a parrot." "Of course!" The parrot replied.

Guide dog

John was about to cross the road when he saw a blind man crossing the road with his guide dog.

At the green light, the dog didn't take the owner across the road, but peed on his pants.

Unexpectedly, the blind man reached into his pocket and gave the dog a biscuit.

John was surprised and said to the blind man, "If that is my dog, I will definitely kick its fart."

Shares. The blind man replied very calmly, "Yes, I want to kick it, but I must kick it first."

Find its head! "

out of luck

Miss Jenny was on the night shift when she saw a man coming towards her with open hands. "Rogue!" Zhan (Han)

Miss Connie scolded and kicked the man in the stomach. With a bang, the man shouted, "Oh, my God!

That! The third piece of glass still can't be taken home! "

Things succeed or fail.

A gentleman politely asked the lady sitting next to him in the trunk, "I'm here to smoke a cigarette to get in your way."

Really? The lady said kindly to him, "No, you are as good as at home." "The gentleman will accept it immediately.

Back in the cigarette case, he sighed and said, "Still can't smoke!"

A new chapter in morality

"Dad, what is morality?"

"What is morality? Wait, how do you explain this? For example, someone put a thousand pictures in it.

Gehrig left his wallet in the shop, and I found it. Should I keep the money alone or sell it with him?

Share the goods equally? It's called morality. "

It's hard to get

The defendant promised his defense lawyer, "If you have the ability, I can only go to prison for half a year."

Prison, then you will get an extra 1000 yuan reward. "The defendant finally understood.

While collecting money, the lawyer said, "This is really a hard job. Originally, the judge wanted to be acquitted. "

Put it on. "

Become very conceited

The father of the triplets called the newspaper to report the good news. The reporter who answered the phone didn't hear you clearly.

"Would you please repeat that?" He asked. The proud father replied, "Yes, yes,no."

But I don't want any more!

hard-earned

Someone invited a friend to his house for dinner. The friend asked, "Are you sure your wife knows I'm going?"

Dinner? "

"Of course I know. I argued with her about it all afternoon! "

Waiting for the cat to catch the mouse.

Man: "Madam, I accidentally stepped on your cat when I was walking." I'll get you one.

Come on, okay? "

Woman: "Then you have to hurry, there is a mouse in the kitchen at the moment."

Wait a minute.

A man asked God, "Great God, in your eyes, a thousand years is time."

What are you wearing? "

God replied, "It only means one minute."

"Almighty God, what does ten thousand gold coins mean in your eyes?"

"It just means a penny."

"Merciful God, please give me a penny!"

"Well, poor man, please wait!"