Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - 12 classic stories about human resources
12 classic stories about human resources
One of the classic stories: life at the age of 70
God created everything. The cow was made first. God said to the cow, you go to the world to plow and open up wasteland and give you 50 years' life. Niu Yi, listen, no, it's too hard. I just want to live for 20 years, and God agreed. He also made a monkey and said to the monkey, go to the world to make fun of everyone and give you a life span of 20 years. Hearing this, the monkey failed. I thought 10 years old, and God agreed. I also made a dog, let the dog watch the door and give it a life span of 20 years. As soon as the dog listens, I want to live like a monkey 10 years. Finally, I made a man and said to him, let you play in the world and give you a life span of 20 years. People are very happy to hear this, but they think life expectancy is too short. Let God increase life span, and God will give people all the life spans that cows, monkeys and dogs don't want. You see, people nowadays don't have to worry about eating, drinking and having fun before they are 20, but enjoy themselves. Between the ages of 20 and 50, he struggled to support his family like a cow; From the age of 50 to 60, he became an old child like a monkey, which made everyone laugh; When he was 60 ~ 70 years old, he became a dog and retired at home. When the children went out to play and watch movies, he said to the old man, "Dad, let's go out and you stay at home."
The second classic story: chicken's sense of crisis
The chicken realized that "every day when an egg is laid, the master's knife will stand aside;" If you don't lay eggs for ten and a half months, you won't be killed. "Chicken's advertising awareness is higher than duck's, and duck's eggs are bigger than eggs, but they are not as common as eggs, and the protein nutritional value of eggs is high. The meat and poultry eggs mentioned during the festival are rich, and this egg is an egg. When the chicken is ready, it will promote "big, big, big".
The third classic story: monks in temples
Anyone who has been to the temple knows that as soon as he enters the temple gate, the first one is Amitabha, welcoming guests with a smiling face, and in the north of him, it is Darkmouth's black-faced Wei Tuo. But according to legend, a long time ago, they were not in the same temple, but in charge of different temples.
Buddha Miller is enthusiastic and happy, so many people come, but he doesn't care about anything, and his accounts are improperly managed, so he still can't make ends meet. Although Wei Tuo was a cook in charge of accounts, he was unhappy all day, which was too serious. He made fewer and fewer friends and finally died.
Buddha found this problem when he was looking for incense, so he put them in the same temple. Maitreya was in charge of public relations and greeted all the guests with smiles, so the incense was flourishing. And Wei Tuo is impartial, he will be better than others, so let him be in charge of finance and strictly control it. In the division of labor and cooperation between the two people, the temple flourished.
In fact, in the eyes of the master of employing people, people without waste, like martial arts masters, can hurt people by picking flowers and flying leaves without expensive swords. The key is how to use them.
Classic story four: the shopkeeper buys parrots.
A man went to buy a parrot and saw a sign in front of it: This parrot can speak two languages, 200 yuan.
In front of another parrot, it was written: This parrot can speak four languages, and the price is 400 yuan.
Which one should I buy? Both are shiny, very flexible and lovely. The man turned and couldn't make up his mind.
Suddenly I found a parrot with a tooth missing. Its coat color is dim and messy, and its price is 800 yuan.
The man quickly called the boss: "Can this parrot speak eight languages?"
The shopkeeper said, "No."
The man wondered, "Then why are you old, ugly and incompetent? Is it worth it?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Because the other two parrots call this parrot boss."
This story tells us that a real leader is not necessarily strong in his own ability. As long as he knows how to trust, how to delegate and how to cherish, he can unite forces stronger than himself and thus enhance his value. On the contrary, many people with very strong abilities are too perfectionist and hands-on, and no one can match them. In the end, I can only be a key researcher and sales representative, and I can't be an excellent leader.
The fifth classic story: A psychology professor visited a mental hospital.
A psychology professor visited the madhouse to learn about the living conditions of the mentally ill. After all, it's an eye-opener to think that these people are crazy and act unexpectedly.
Unexpectedly, when I was about to return, I found my tire dropped. "Some madman must have done it!" The professor thought angrily and began to get the spare tire ready to install.
This is serious. The man who got off the tire actually dropped all the screws. You can't get on without screws and spare tires!
The professor was at a loss. Just as he was in a hurry, a madman jumped up and sang an unknown happy song. He found the professor in trouble and stopped to ask what had happened.
The professor ignored him and told him out of courtesy.
The madman smiled and said, "I have an idea!" " "He removed one screw from each tire so that he had three screws to install the spare tire.
The professor was pleasantly surprised and very curious: "How did you come up with this idea?"
The madman smiled and said, "I am a madman, but I am not a fool!" " "
In fact, many people in the world, because they find pleasure in their work, always show different fanaticism from ordinary people, which is hard to understand. When many people laugh at them as crazy, others may still laugh at him as a bookworm. Stupidity and cleverness are especially a good attitude in China.
Classic Story 6: Farmer Chen Atu travels abroad.
Chen Atu, a farmer in Taiwan Province Province, has never been far away. After saving money for half my life, I finally joined a tour group and went abroad.
Everything abroad is very fresh. The key point is that Chen Atu joined a luxury group and lived in a standard room. This makes him novel.
In the morning, when the waiter knocked on the door to deliver breakfast, he shouted, "Good morning!" "
Chen Atu froze. What does this mean? In my hometown, strangers usually ask, "What's your name?"
So Chen Atu shouted, "My name is Chen Atu!"
Indeed, for three days in a row, it was the waiters who knocked at the door and said "good morning" loudly every day! Chen Atu also replied loudly: "My name is Chen Atu!"
But he was very angry. This waiter is so stupid that he asks his name every day and tells him that he can't remember. Very annoying. Finally, he couldn't help asking the tour guide, "GOODMORNINGSIR!" What do you mean? The tour guide told him, oh, my God! ! That's a real pity.
Chen Atu practiced "Good morning!" This word allows you to deal with waiters with dignity.
Another morning, the waiter knocked at the door as usual. As soon as the door opened, Chen Atu shouted, "Good morning!"
At the same time, the waiter shouted, "I'm Chen Atu!"
This story tells us that interpersonal communication is often a contest between willpower and willpower. Either you influence him or he influences you. If we want to succeed, we must cultivate our own influence. Only people with great influence can be winners.
Classic story 7: Rich kids who love to eat jiaozi.
There was a rich boy who loved jiaozi very much and ate it every day. But he is very cunning. He only eats stuffing and throws the tips of his skin into the river behind him.
The good times didn't last long. When he was sixteen, a big fire burned his whole family, and his parents died in anger. I'm penniless now, so I'm embarrassed to beg. The neighbor's sister-in-law is very nice. She gives him a bowl of mushy noodles for every meal. He studied hard and came back after three years. He must thank his neighbor's sister-in-law
Sister-in-law told him: Don't thank me. I didn't give you anything. I collected the tips of dumplings you lost in those years, dried them and put them in several sacks. I was going to plan ahead. I gave it back to you just when you needed it.
There is a famous March 8 theory: eight hours of sleep and eight hours of work, everyone is the same. The difference between people lies in how to spend their spare time. Time is the most affectionate and heartless thing, and everyone has the same thing, which is fair. But people with resources may not be successful, and those who make good use of resources will be successful. Living during the day and developing at night are the requirements for talents in 2 1 century.
Classic story 8: A and B meet tigers in the forest.
Two men met a big tiger in the forest. A quickly took off a pair of lighter sports shoes from the back and put them on. B was so anxious that he scolded, "What are you doing? Changing shoes can't beat the tiger! "
A said, "I just want to run faster than you."
In 2 1 century, no sense of crisis is a crisis. Especially after China's entry into WTO, telecommunications, banking, insurance and even civil servants, which we think are very stable and secure, will also face many variables. When more tigers come, are we ready for running shoes?
Classic story 9: father and son drive cattle down the mountain
Father and son live in the mountains, and they have to drive ox carts down the mountain to sell firewood every day. The old father is more experienced, driving in the town, the mountain road is rugged and curved, and the son has a good eye. He always reminds him when he wants to turn: "Dad, turn!"
Once my father didn't go down the mountain because of illness, and my son drove alone. At the corner, the cow refused to turn, so the son tried every means to get out of the car and push and pull, lured by grass, and the cow did not move.
What the hell is going on? My son is puzzled. In the end, there is only one way. He looked around to see that no one was there. He leaned close to the cow's ear and shouted, "Dad, turn!" " "
The cow responded and moved.
Cows live by conditioned reflex, while people live by habit. A successful person knows how to cultivate good habits instead of bad ones. When more good habits are accumulated, there will naturally be a good life.
Classic story 10: Hank, Dad, Mom and Brother
Five-year-old Hank went to work in the forest with his father, mother and brother. Suddenly it began to rain, but they only brought a poncho.
Dad gave the poncho to mom, mom gave it to my brother, and my brother gave it to Hank.
Hank asked, "Why did my father give it to my mother, my mother gave it to my brother and my brother gave it to me?"
Dad replied, "Because dad is better than mom, mom is better than brother, and brother is better than you." We all protect the weak. "
Hank looked around and ran to spread the poncho on a delicate flower swaying in the wind and rain.
This story tells us that the real strong man is not necessarily powerful or rich, but how much he helps others.
Responsibility allows us to accomplish things, and love allows us to do things well.
Eleventh classic story: seven people share porridge.
Seven people once lived together and shared a big bucket of porridge every day. Sadly, there is not enough porridge to eat every day.
At first, they drew lots to decide who would share the porridge, one serving a day. So every week, they are full only one day, that is, the day of porridge sharing.
Later, they began to elect a noble person to share the porridge. Power will produce * * * *, and everyone began to try their best to please him and bribe him, making the whole clique filled with smoke.
Then everyone began to form a three-person porridge Committee and a four-person selection Committee, attacking each other and wrangling, and the porridge was cold in their mouths.
Finally, I came up with a method: divide the porridge in turn, but the people who divide the porridge have to wait for everyone else to pick up the last bowl left. In order not to eat the least, everyone tries to distribute it equally, even if it is uneven, you can only admit it. Everyone is happy and kind, and life is getting better and better.
The same seven people, different distribution systems, will have different ethos. Therefore, if a unit has bad work habits, it must be a mechanism problem, and it must not be completely fair and open, and there is no strict reward for diligence and punishment for laziness. How to formulate such a system is a problem that every leader needs to consider.
The twelfth classic story: the little camel in the zoo
The little camel in the zoo asked his mother, "Mom, mom, why are our eyelashes so long?"
Mother camel said, "When a sandstorm comes, long eyelashes can make us all see clearly in the storm."
The little camel asked again, "mom, mom, why are our backs so camel and ugly!" "
Mother camel said, "This is called hump. It can help us to store a lot of water and nutrients, so that we can endure it for more than ten days without drinking water or eating in the desert."
The little camel asked again, "Mom, why are our soles so thick?"
Mother camel said, "This can prevent our heavy bodies from sinking into the soft sand, which is convenient for long-distance travel."
The little camel was very happy: "Wow, we are really useful! ! But mom, why are we still in the zoo and don't go hiking in the desert? "
I was born useful, but no one uses it now. Good mentality+successful teaching materials+infinite stage = success. Everyone's potential is unlimited, and the key is to find a stage where they can give full play to their potential.
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