Funny phrases with a bit of humor

1. Bus squeezing is a comprehensive exercise that includes Sanda, yoga, judo, balance beam and other sports and fitness projects.

2. I will know you are a monster as soon as I open my eyes.

3. No one loves anyone with his hands in his pockets.

4. Use a kitchen knife to chop the wires, creating sparks and lightning along the way.

5. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with those people who try their best to make you end your singlehood.

6. What is happiness? Happiness is when you eat fish, I eat meat, and watch others chew bones.

7. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is easier to get along in kindergarten!

8. They said I was BT and asked me to do a CT scan. It turned out that I was ET.

9. My advantage is: I am very handsome; but my disadvantage is: I am not obviously handsome.

10. I was also an infatuated person, but it rained... and I drowned.

11. Many people say that marriage is the tomb of love, but it is better for love to be buried in peace than to die on the street.

13. It is said that people have only two choices, busy dying or busy living. I think I have a third choice: busy waiting to die.

14. Spring is sleepy, summer is weak, autumn is weak, and winter is just the right time to sleep.

15. You can’t miss yourself, take care of your pain, get your results, and give yourself happiness.

16. When I was a child, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up. But when I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me.

17. If you are destined not to give me the response I expect. Then stay at a safe distance.

18. Please don’t regard my tolerance of you as your shameless capital.

19. It is virtue for a woman to have no talent. I must be too wicked.

20. Zhuge Liang had never led an army before he left the mountain. Why do you want me to have work experience?

21. Use the blues spirit of hip-hop to live a life like the erhu.

22. The happiness of an ostrich is just a pile of sand.

23. God, it’s too blue! The sea is too salty! Life is so difficult! Work is so boring! I am destined to be with you! Miss you, sleepless! It’s too far to see you!

24. When I woke up, it was dark.

25. Those who drank medicine were handed a bottle, those who hung themselves were given a rope, and those who jumped off the building waved small handkerchiefs to see them off.

26. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. If the material is wrong, no matter how hard you try, it will be useless.

27. The fool stole the beggar's wallet, and the blind man saw it. The mute roared, which frightened the deaf man. The hunchback stepped forward, and the lame man kicked him and the criminal wanted to take him to the police. Bureau, Mazi said, forget it for my sake.

28. You have to figure out the script of your life - it is not a sequel to your parents, not a prequel to your children, and not a sequel to your friends.

29. The trees become quieter but the wind does not stop, the more I fall in love but he is not here. A bit humorous but very philosophical mood phrase

1. When you say bad things about me, can you not add fuel to the fire and think it is a stir-fry?

2. When someone pushes you down, no matter how hard or tired you are, you must stand up and slap her back hard.

3. I fell in love with you because my brain was filled with water, but now my brain is dry.

4. Damn, I’ve been waiting for your news for a long time, but all I got was a haha, you thought I was telling a fucking joke.

5. There are many bastards in the shallow water. They are full of big brothers who are not social people and always make society miserable.

6. Is there anyone who has a crush on me? Those of you who have a crush on me, don’t be shy, say your love out loud.

7. In the past, my love was like a dwarf, hung to death by a bush.

8. I don’t need you to understand, I just need you to shut up.

9. You are calm because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you because I am not afraid of your death.

10. Take out your complaints and bask in the sun every day, and your mood will not be lacking in calcium.

11. When I was a child, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up. But when I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me.

12. Grandpas come from grandsons.

13. God said there should be light, but I said I opposed it, so there was darkness in the world.

14. Men conquer women by conquering the world! Women conquer the world by conquering men!

15. If you feed the common people, the common people will feed you!

16. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, but it only takes a bottle of wine to change from a human to a monkey.

17. A hero does not care about the way out, and a rogue does not care about his age!

18. God gave us seven emotions and six desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence.

19. I am Jesus, his son, coconut!

20. If you are not afraid of god-like buddies, be afraid of dog-like friends.

21. I come quietly, leave quietly, wave my dagger, and leave no one alive.

22. One cannot lower his noble head, except when picking up money.

23. We had a little disagreement: she wanted me to turn dirt into gold, and I wanted her to treat gold like dirt!

24. Customers are not God, customers are just fooled.

25. We can avoid everyone, but we cannot avoid a fly. It's often the little things in life that make us unhappy.

26. Sometimes explanations are unnecessary. Enemies do not believe your explanations, but friends do not need your explanations.

27. Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing art!

28. On a harmonious campus, the person riding the bicycle may be a PhD supervisor, while the person driving the Mercedes-Benz may be a logistician.

29. Study hard for China! A pack of Chinese is a lot of money!

30. Not only do I have a car, but I also drive my own car...

31. Women have countless QQ accounts just to tease a man. Men often use a QQ account filled with all kinds of Such a woman.

32. Boss, come and have a bowl of tears.

33. Ever since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on me.

34. I only believe in two people in the world, one is me and the other is not you.

35. If you are desperate, why should you walk? Just take the bus.

36. When I take off my clothes, I am a beast, but when I put on clothes, I am a beast!

37. There was gold under the man’s knee. I cut off the entire leg and couldn’t even find a piece of copper!

38. Master, just follow me! ...A long, long time later... Master, please spare me!

39. Studying Chinese for 10 years is worse than chatting on QQ for half a year.

40. If my friends can sell them for five yuan each, I can make a small fortune.

Funny sentences for the circle of friends that are a little humorous and a little cold

1. Friends who hang out outside should have a strong heart

2. People are tired when they are alive, otherwise how can they be called human beings?

3. Your love is too cheap. I will not participate in buy one, get one free.

4. You may not know that when you cry, my tears are also overflowing.

5. If you want to test me, then prepare your patience

6. If you don’t like me, you can choose to commit suicide or pretend to be blind

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7. Please stay away from me if you are sad, I don’t want to be infected by you

8. Looking up to the future with a proud attitude, there is also happiness in my world

9. There is only one me in the world, and no one can replace me

10. I am not great enough, wait until you get tired of her to love me

11. Don’t be obsessed with sister, sister is just Your legend

12. Don’t wait until I leave, so you can taste what true love is

13. I am not your shadow, and I can’t be inseparable from you

14. Don’t use your self-righteous life rules to control my life

15. I never suffer, because I have returned tenfold to those who can make me suffer

16. In this dream-like life, I have suffered from insomnia and can no longer sleep

17. What’s so great about making friends? If you have the ability, just wear a pair of pants

20. I can’t see the future, but I never stop

21. As long as you have a strong heart, nothing in the world can knock you down

22. Don’t show off to your brother, show off to others. Show off your brother.

23. In my eyes, you are a dick. In his eyes, I am a dick.

24 , I never do things that make me sad, I usually only do things that make others sad

25. Time carries my thoughts away, how can I find the time to be unforgettable

26. Life is not a TV series. Who do you act for?

27. Let you show off your flowers, I only like the sparrow on the tree

28. You don’t have to show off to me, you Being awesome doesn't mean I can respect you

29. I will work hard and give myself what I want

30. I never lower my head. When I lower my head, I am just tying my shoes. Just bring it with you

31. Your head is for thinking, not for display

32. For a person who is so incompetent and has such a bad temper, how dare you come out to mix with society?

33. If you don’t love, you don’t love. Don’t let labor and management do that: we are not suitable.

34. I just want to express my love, otherwise I will go crazy

35. Smoking hurts my brother’s lungs, which are never sad

36. I have my life, your vicissitudes of life have nothing to do with me

37 , I asked you to get out of my world, not to let you out

38. There are two kinds of mottos, one is inspirational, the other is curse

39. Don’t mention those bad people, They are all guys with opposite sex and inhumanity

40. You can’t get mad easily, you have to maintain your image, right?

Collection of humorous and funny phrases

1. Some People don’t deserve to be beaten, they really want to be beaten.

He paused

2. I have no control over the existence of heaven and earth, but your existence is in my way

3. Leaving me is nothing, you can leave me if you can The world

4. Friends are gender-neutral, but it’s not good for boyfriends and girlfriends to be gender-neutral

5. I have a dream of being a rich man, and in the dream I am already rich

6. Don’t have a crush on me. If you want to fall in love, just love me openly. I won’t reject you easily

7. My dear, it’s your ruthlessness that makes me ruthless

8. When I have money, I won’t take anyone seriously

9. I’m not the best at facial expressions. I can’t always smile when you want.

10. Don’t take yourself too seriously. In the eyes of others, you are actually worthless

11. Hold a kitchen knife in your hand to chop the wires, causing sparks and lightning along the way

12. Don’t blame the sisters for not being human, just blame you for not being human

13. The little me has seen through everything with secular eyes

14. The desolate world and the human heart Chaos, stop talking nonsense in front of me

15. I advise you not to touch my bottom line, otherwise you cannot bear the consequences

16. If you are always so sensible, you will never get anything. To true love

17. How can you stand out if you don’t work hard? How can you know your parents’ hard work if you don’t endure hardship

18. If you don’t have the potential to be a lady, you must have the potential to be a woman. A man’s consciousness

19. I am not you, I can’t be what you want, let alone be as perfect as you think

20. What’s wrong with a female man, treat me The day I become a strong woman, I will also look down on you as before

21. Is it worthy to say that I love you? I don’t even know how to repay you for loving me, what else do you know?

22. Sister drinks because she wants to forget the temporary pain. I will realize it after I pass it

23 , Even if you understand what kind of person I am, you don’t know what kind of heart I have

24. Stop pretending to be kind in front of me, I should have understood your hypocrisy long ago

25. Always pretend to be stupid, always naive, at least she looks happy

26. Everyone has their own way to go, and all the sadness has nothing to do with others

27. Don’t compare others with yourself, you never know what they have gone through

28. Whether you are here or not, I am here, waiting for you to look back again

31. I am your little monster, you will never know how much it loves Ultraman

32. Can you please not mention to others that you once loved me

33. I didn’t have time to participate in your past, but I missed your future

34. I am not the person you want or give up if you don’t want it

35. What’s so great about falling in love? Just get married if you can

36. Not all relationships are like family love and never leave you

37. Free, from now on Then we stopped contacting each other, and finally it was time to say goodbye

38. No one will appear in your life twice, and this will not teach you to cherish it

39. Do you love me anymore? Saying that is the saddest thing, let everything become a secret

40. The largest church in the world cannot contain your sins