The most classic connotation jokes

"Duanzi" is an artistic term in cross talk, which refers to a paragraph or an artistic content in cross talk works. The following is my collection of classic connotation paragraphs, welcome to read and understand.

1, the youngest son dares to fight with others. Once, the son asked his father, did you like fighting when you were a child? Dad said, "I dare not." The son said, "Why?" Dad said, "I can't beat others." The son said, "Then why didn't you call me!" " "

2. A couple who had been married for many years slept until midnight, when the husband suddenly turned around and hugged his wife tightly, saying: This life is too short. My wife woke up and shed tears. Mr. Wang went on to say: I can't even cover my feet!

Students are doing their homework in the physics self-study class. The teacher said, "Ask me if you have any questions!" A classmate went over and said, "Teacher, where did Newton perm his hair?"

4. My boyfriend went to the wedding and suddenly the power went out. Everyone is worried that someone is stealing vegetables, so they suggest clapping their hands and singing. Clap your hands, electricity suddenly came. When you look at it, a person is slapping himself with one hand and slapping himself with the other.

5. Girlfriend: "Honey, I just heard a report that there is a car reversing on the expressway. Be careful! " Boyfriend: "One? I think there are more than a hundred cars! "

6. The hounds chased the rabbits. After a long time, he asked, "Usually, you don't run as fast as me. Why are you so fast today? " The rabbit said, "It's just a meal for you, but it's a life for me." . . "

7. Ask a man and a woman: What would you say if you saw Meng Po at Naiheqiao after death and gave you Meng Po Tang? Girlfriend: Don't let me forget my family, okay? Boyfriend: No coriander and chopped green onion, thank you!

8. When a girl saw a boy sleeping in class, she sent a text message to her boyfriend: The boy next to me slept like a dead pig, and his mouth watered all over. That's funny! As a result, her boyfriend didn't receive this message until midnight because of the bad internet. ...

9. Girlfriend: Look at you, young and wrinkled! Boyfriend: No? Girlfriend: Why not? Don't you think wearing a hat is like screwing a nut every time?

10, in the morning, my son cried and told me and my wife that he dreamed that his grandmother died. I said it doesn't matter, the dream is reversed. When he dreamed that his grandmother was dead, it might be his grandmother. . . I felt three blood stains on my face and wanted to cry. .

1 1. I went to my boyfriend's house to see my parents for the first time last night. Her mother cooked delicious food. After eating a bowl of rice, I remember to pack another bowl. His mother held me down and said, "It's okay. I'll wash the dishes with you later. " ……

12, I drank too much last night and my wife was not at home. I asked my daughter to pour me a cup of sugar water to sober me up. The daughter asked, "Any sugar will do?" I said yes. A few minutes later, I saw my daughter holding a glass of water with some chewing gum floating on it.

13, I took my 2-year-old son to eat stinky tofu for the first time today. The son took a bite: "Mom, who pulled this?" It's delicious! " "After hearing this, my husband said," Take good care of him these days, and don't take a shit and eat it yourself! " "

14, son: "I only got 25 points in English, but the whole class scored very low." Mom: "I don't care how many points others got in the exam, you can't do it with such a low score!" " The next day, my son said, "I got 90 points in math." "Mom:" What about others? "

15, the girl cried on the phone: "You are a liar. I finally know that you are in a long-distance relationship with me only because your father is the manager of a mobile company, so you are so willing to lie to me."

16, mother snail said to the little snail: You are not young either. I'll take you to the village next door for a blind date tomorrow. Snail: Mom, I'm only 12 years old, and I haven't reached the legal age for marriage! Mother snail said, when we get there, you will be big, son.

17, a couple just quarreled, and the wife is still angry about it! Suddenly the wife turned to her little son and asked, "If mom and dad quarrel, which side will you take?" The child thought for a moment and said firmly, "Stand by!"

18, someone said: How big is your school? I replied: The reason why the aunt who sells mala Tang in the west gate of our school refuses the uncle who sells rice noodles in the east gate is that she doesn't like long-distance relationships. . .

19, my girlfriend heard that when things are flustered, drinking some cold water will calm down. One day, she went out to play with her boyfriend by boat. As a result, her boyfriend slipped and fell into the water. Seeing her boyfriend in a panic, she shouted, "Don't panic! Take a sip of water! "

20. "I complained to a buddy that people near WeChat look at photos like beautiful women, and I am basically terrible!" "You are so naive," my brothers said with a faint smile that you said it was WeChat. If everything is beautiful, it should be called brand-new! "

2 1, "I have the phone number of the goddess, and I can know if she wakes up every day. Calling her, no one answered, but she hasn't woken up yet; Call her, hang up, just wake up and don't envy me too much. "

22. Some couples are destined to be together for life, I can see that, because they give people the impression that no one will like them except each other.

One night, a naked man called a taxi, and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and said, you have never seen a naked man! The female driver is also furious: I see where you pay for it.

24. Colleague A: "My wife often mentions her ex-husband, which makes me very angry." Colleague B: "You are very lucky. My wife often talks about her future husband. "

25. Talk to your girlfriends about how to be beautiful, and the more you talk, the more disappointed you are. I said to my best friend, "I'd better go for plastic surgery." My best friend glanced at me sideways and said, "Come on, PS can't save you. I still want plastic surgery. "

26. Teacher: "Who will answer, who is Zheng Chenggong?" Student: "I don't know who Zheng Chenggong is, but I know who his mother is." The teacher asked strangely, "Do you know his mother?" Student: "Yes. His mother called failure, failure is the mother of success! "

27. My friend asked me what my research direction is. I said I studied wetlands. Every time this answer makes the role of the teacher elder sister look very obscene. When the other party asked me what the specific research teacher younger brother was? I can only answer the birds who study wetlands truthfully.

28. A friend, a fruit seller, said that he didn't make any money after selling for more than ten years, but he never wanted to change careers. The reason is that my fruit stall table is very low, and a large number of beautiful women bow their heads to pick fruits every day is my motivation to persist!

29, the family had a good time. The police rushed to knock at the door when they heard the sound. The door was opened by an angry woman. Policeman: Madam, who is your head of household? The woman roared: I'll tell you later, my husband and I have discussed it!

30. My daughter is over three years old and has not been to kindergarten for many days due to illness. She suggested that she must go to kindergarten tomorrow. The reason she gave made me laugh: how can I educate my children in the future if I don't go to school?

3 1. One day, my brother asked my aunt, "Mom, how did I get here?" Aunt casually said, "I picked it up." Then my brother was very depressed and said, "Alas, such a good child is willing to throw it away?"

32. One day in class, the teacher asked Xiao Ming a question: "Xiao Ming, what do you say is 123 plus 22?" Xiaoming: "..." The teacher was furious at Xiaoming's silence: "Why don't you talk! At least! " Xiao Ming immediately gave a loud cry: "Wisdom!

33. The first two days were boring. I tried to send a message to 10086: "I miss you." Unexpectedly, 10086 really sent back a message: "Then come to me, you damn fool!" Then I was so scared that I quickly put down my father's cell phone.

34. Seeing the traffic jam at work, my boyfriend was going to be late, so he decided to take a motorcycle and said to the motorcycle driver, "Master, can you get to the International Trade Building in ten minutes?" I'm late for work. I saw the motorcyclist say calmly, "Take a question, let me put on my wings first!"! " "

35. My boyfriend doesn't know chess. He watched people play chess in the high temperature of 37 degrees outside all morning. The most amazing thing is that he kept an inscrutable smile from beginning to end. Make the somebody else two old man's house, every move have to look at him nervously. ...

36. A friend saw a company recruiting models and sent photos. Wang Dao replied: Take off your clothes and have a look. My friend did it. She took a photo of the clothes hanging on the balcony and sent it. "Do you want the address? Taobao exploded! "

One day, a very rich man came home and found his dog killed when he entered the house. He burst into tears. At this moment, a masked man spoke: someone paid me a lot of money to kill you!

38. My boyfriend is a carpenter who works while smoking. I am used to putting nails in my mouth. When nailing today, take the cigarette out of your mouth and hammer it down ... and then, it's gone ...

39. Xiaohong said to Xiaoming, "You got me pregnant, and you should be responsible!" Xiao Ming exclaimed, "Kissing has nothing to do with having children?" Xiaohong: "Of course! Don't believe you, go back and ask your parents if they are biological! "

40. I just hung up on my mother. After the phone call, I said, "Hey, Mom ..." My mom said, "No money again?" Me: "Yes!" My mother: "Sorry, you have the wrong number!" " "Then I hang up!

4 1, watching the Olympic news, my boyfriend and mother were very sad and said to him, "When will you give me an award to go home?" The boyfriend was shocked and shouted, "Didn't I get it yesterday?" Here you are! Another bottle! "

42. "What's wrong with getting bigger? The female school girl holds the gold brick! Tell mom how old your future girlfriend is? " The son bowed his head and was silent for a while, then said, "Nine bricks."

43. The son asked his father, "Why do the instant noodles on TV look so delicious?" Dad thought for a long time and didn't know how to answer. After a while, the son asked again, "Why don't all the uncles and aunts on TV go to work?" Dad quickly replied: "instant noodles are so delicious, who still goes to work?"

44. The boy said to his mother's friend Miss Jin, "Your strength is really great?" Miss Jin doesn't understand: "I'm not a Hercules." Teenager: "My dad says you often play with three or four men!" " "

45. My daughter is three years old. Once I called home and my daughter answered. My daughter said to me angrily, "Dad, it's cold, remember to add clothes." I was about to answer, "okay, dad knows." The daughter added, "Don't freeze to death ..."

46. My colleague is very happy with his son. When his son first learned to speak, he said to his son every day, "Call Dad." Over time, the son became a habit. As soon as he saw him, he said, "Call Dad." He has no choice but to correct it now. Now he says "Dad" to his son every day.

47. "Boss, scrambled eggs with tomatoes." When it was served five minutes later, it was found that there were no eggs: "How come there are only tomatoes and no eggs?" "Eggs didn't quarrel with tomatoes, so they got angry ..." (by blowing eggs)

48. I played role-playing with my girlfriend one day. Me: "Aunt, what am I in your heart?" Girlfriend: "Son, you are my first brother."

49. A man asked his girlfriend, Do you know what men like to hear from women? My girlfriend said, I love you. Boyfriend said, no, that's it. After that, the boyfriend squeezed his girlfriend's hand hard, and the girlfriend shouted, Ah ~ ~ ~ I hurt my boyfriend and said, Yes, that's it.

50. "Dad, why are you kneeling here?" "You found my private money, and you?" "Nest just wet the bed again. . "；