Tell your girlfriend more good jokes, the better.

1. On the cliff, a little mouse waved its short front paws and jumped down again and again to learn to fly. The mother bat next to her watched it fall, worried, and said, Dad, don't tell it, it's not ours!

2. A sleeping party in a boy's dormitory lasted until 3 am, and suddenly I wanted to discuss a question, "What should I say first when I meet a beautiful girl?" A gentleman woke up from a dream and said, "Stop talking and let's go to bed!" " "

3. Robber: "Tell me the password of the safe! Don't say kill you! " Female employee: "Don't tell me if you kill me! I won't say anything if you spoil me! " The robber looked her up and down and said, "You should be beautiful!" "

4. The mother bird burst into tears, and the male bird said angrily, "How many times have I told you that this ring was worn by the bird research station, not a wedding ring! I'm not married! "

5. In the restaurant, woman: Are you going to marry me or not? The man was silent. W: Don't think that nobody wants me. If I get angry, I'll find someone to marry here right away! The waiter came over: Miss, you scared away all the guests in our shop.

6. Dude, do you know why I was scolded that day? Seeing the underlined words on the clothes on the pretty girl's chest, I couldn't help reaching out and clicking.

7. A lady got on the bus in a one-step skirt, but the skirt was too tight to lift her legs, and she still couldn't unbutton the two buttons of the skirt. Later, I saw a man staring at her and calling her a rogue! Man: You are a rogue. You untied us all so quickly!

8. During the airborne exercise, the officer asked: How many recruits are there this year? The little soldier said: Look at your ass when you fall! The officer said, why? The little soldier said, there are footprints on the recruits' ass!

9. Remember? When you went to the TV station to sing a song, four referees and three fell down. Fortunately, a referee came on stage and shook hands with you excitedly and said, talent! It costs money for others to sing, and your singing is fatal!

10, several people watched the sunrise, and one pointed to the treetops and said, I saw it. Others also said they saw it. At this time, someone came out from behind the tree with trousers: I saw it when I saw it. What are you yelling about? !

1 1. Generally, boys are not allowed to go to the girls' building and must leave before 8 pm. Otherwise, at 8 o'clock, Auntie Lou will shout: Girls, Fujian.

12, the old lady on the bus is afraid of missing the stop and asks at every stop. When the bus arrived at the first stop, she kept stabbing the driver with an umbrella: "Is this the convention center?" "No, it's ribs!"

13, a village woman went to the market to sell peanuts. When the marketing coordinator charged, she started to run, but she was still caught by the coordinator. The coordinator said, "I wanted to hug you (tax you) yesterday, but I have to hug you (tax you) today."

14, I was chatting with a group of female colleagues this afternoon, and suddenly someone said I was not a man. I was angry, I said, you said I wasn't, I showed it to you, and the girls all laughed. One of them is the best, saying, you pay, you pay ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So ... I took out my ID card.

15. Snakes, ants, spiders and centipedes play mahjong at home. After eight laps, the cigarette was finished. Let's discuss who to buy cigarettes for. The snake said, I have no feet. I'm not going. Let the ants go. The ant said: A spider has eight feet, more than mine. Let the spider go. The spider said: I can't beat the centipede with more feet. Release the centipede. The centipede was helpless, thinking: No way, who let me have more feet? So the centipede went out to buy cigarettes ... for more than an hour, the centipede didn't come back. Two hours later, the centipede didn't come back to buy cigarettes. So everyone let the spider go out and have a look. As soon as the spider went out, he saw the centipede sitting at the door. The spider was very angry and asked, why don't you go? Everyone is waiting. The centipede was also anxious and said, nonsense! You have to wait for me to put on my shoes! !

16, A: I have two bad habits that bother me. The first bad habit is to sleep naked. B: Nothing! What about the second bad habit? A: Sleepwalking.

18, late at night, Mr. Wang finished correcting the last test paper, turned on the radio wearily and wanted to listen to music to relax. Dj's voice came from the radio: "All the students in Class X, Grade Three, xx Middle School dedicated this song to their beloved teacher Wang xx, thanking him for giving them countless exercises over the years (especially this year) and precious practice opportunities ..." Hearing this, Mr. Wang's eyes were moist, and his tired face showed a gratified smile. The dj went on to say, "... now let's listen to this song together, Li Huimin's" You won't have a good result "..." His eyes turned white, foaming at the mouth, and he fell to the ground. ...

19, one day, a driver was robbed while driving, and the roadblock said, "Get off! ! "The barricade added," Do 100 push-ups. "

The driver was forced to obey and said, "I've never seen you rob the road like this." After that, the robber said, "Make another 500."

The driver did it again, and then the driver was weak and dizzy.

The robber shouted to the Woods behind him, "Sister, you can go to town in his car.