Cold jokes suitable for friends circle.

1. The nurse gave the patient an injection and asked curiously 1: "What do you do?" The patient replied,' It's the same as yours 1. "The nurse was very surprised." Oh, so we are in the same trade. Patient: "I'm not a colleague. I nail shoes." "

The prisoner wrote a letter of protest to the warden who decided to interview him. Warden: What paper did you write this on? Prisoner: Toilet paper, sir. The warden looked at it and asked, "What does it say?" Prisoner: Shit, sir.

3. Xia: "Your Majesty, you are unfathomable." The emperor immediately responded affectionately: "unfathomable, it's you." I'm really beyond my reach.

4. Once upon a time, there was a match that didn't like washing hair. Once, when he was walking on the road, he felt his head itch, so he scratched and scratched too hard and his head caught fire. It was sent to the hospital in time, and there have been cotton swabs in the world since then.

The chess master played chess with the same person and lost to that person in a few steps. The master had some questions and said, "You play very novel. Why don't you go out? " The man said, "Because I just learned to walk last night, I forgot how to walk my horse today."

6.shit and urine are good brothers. One day, I was killed by a car while crossing the road. When I urinated, I said, "I really want to shit."

7. "It's raining. Can I borrow your raincoat? " "Sure, but be careful not to get my new raincoat wet."

8. Do you know why the sea is blue? Answer: Because there are fish, why are there fish that are blue? Because fish can spit bubbles! Why is the fish spitting bubbles blue? Because when fish spit bubbles, there is a sound "blueblue"

9. When Xiao Wang and the director were having dinner with the guests and almost finished drinking, the director said to Xiao Wang, "How big do you think I can drink?" Xiao Wang said to the guest in a daze, "I don't know how big it is." Anyway, our director is weaned by drinking. "

10. Once upon a time, there was an old woman who got up in the morning and washed her face, which became facial cleanser. Once upon a time, there was an old man who got up in the morning and washed his hands. He became hand sanitizer.

1 1. I went to the finance department to get my salary that day and saw what they were all doing with calculators. Out of politeness, I asked: What are you? As a result, I was scolded for not getting paid.

12. When two people are together for a long time, they will become very tacit. Sometimes, as long as the other person looks at her, you can know that she is awake.

13. Traveling means picking a sunny day, walking away, buying a ticket with only two yuan, taking the subway at will, without looking at the mobile phone's travel guide, and without asking about the direction and destination.

14. I like to wear rain boots on rainy days, so that the water in my shoes will not leak out.

15. I bought a toy bomb for my son, but it really exploded. I asked my boss why, and he said it was an explosion.

16. I fell in love with a sister and got lovesick. The doctor said it would take time to cure the disease. Sure enough, it took me half a day.

17. A girl called me and said that she was pregnant with my child and asked me to pay. I hung up the phone quietly and never spoke to her again. After all, fatherly love is silent.

18. The robbers rushed into the bank and shouted at everyone with pistols: "Put your hands up, let me see your enthusiasm!