Humorous and meaningful jokes for middle school students

Humorous and connotative jokes for middle school students

Humorous and connotative jokes for middle school students. Jokes are a common language phenomenon that people use for entertainment in daily life. The materials of jokes come from life and serve as a source of entertainment. Add a little fun to the boring life and relax your body and mind. The following are humorous and meaningful jokes for middle school students. Humorous and meaningful jokes for middle school students 1

1. Your lover should be as gentle as water and sweet as honey, your colleague should be someone who works hard and has no temper, and your friend should be someone with a runny nose, so, dear Yes, wipe your nose quickly and celebrate the New Year cleanly!

2. Napoleon: I can’t find the words "missed" in my dictionary.

3. Eat watermelon to reduce fever and refresh your body, cucumber for beauty, winter melon for bowel cleansing and diuresis, and the sweetest cantaloupe. You are the same family as them, why are you hiding underground? It turns out you are a sweet potato.

4. In order to spend money, you fall in love with making money. Because making money is hard, you dare not spend money. My friend, I know your difficulties, and I would like to wish you a prosperous business and a successful career. Congratulations on getting rich!

5. My marriage proposal does not require any conditions, only a date time: not on a single day, not on double days. ; It doesn’t work on sunny days, it doesn’t rain, it doesn’t work on cloudy days; it doesn’t work on working days, it doesn’t work on holidays; it doesn’t work on the first day of the lunar month, it doesn’t work on the 15th day of the lunar month; it doesn’t work in spring and autumn, it doesn’t work in winter and summer; when will we meet, haha, do you understand?

6. Xiao Ling thought: This is easy to handle, just open another hole and let the water flow out. So, he used scissors to make another hole in the sole of the boot. If the water in the rain boots accumulates more and more.

7. The child came to his mother crying, and the mother asked: What’s wrong, baby? Child: Dad accidentally hit his finger with a hammer. Mom: Then why are you crying? Child: Because I just laughed.

8. Cherish life--If God still lets you live, he must have His arrangements.

9. When I miss you, I don’t dare to call you, for fear of hearing your voice; the sad thing is that I always miss you, but I can’t always stop calling. So, I excitedly picked up my phone and dialed you, hello? Why isn’t it you? I’m dizzy! It turns out my phone is in arrears!

10. Once, the bus was about to leave, and a The woman with heavy makeup was chasing after me, Master, Master, don’t go, wait for me. Then the bus master suddenly said, I am in a hurry to reincarnate. The female demon quickly got out of the way, don’t miss my return home. What a good time! Then he drove the car and ran away!

11. Your way of speaking is called bullshit in rhetoric.

12. As long as the hoe dance is good, there is no corner that cannot be dug down?

13. If someone pursues her, there is no woman in the world who will not be in high spirits. That's why women are so fascinating.

14. One day, I told you that you were a pig, and you said: It’s weird that I am a pig. So I started calling you a pig. Finally one day you can't help but declare loudly in front of everyone: I am not a pig!

15. I like rainy days, I like hearing the sound of rain hitting banana trees, I like watching roses swaying in the wind, and I like watching you even more. The charming gesture of gently stroking your long hair in the drizzle, you are so small, it will not wet you! Humorous and meaningful jokes for middle school students 2

1. The middle school teacher is bald in the middle, so shiny that it looks like he has been waxed, and his classmates are all I called him Mediterranean. I had class in the afternoon because it was raining and the weather was relatively dark. The teacher asked me to turn on the light. Shortly after turning on the light, I heard a classmate say, "Teacher, your head flashed into my eyes."

I will never forget the look in the teacher’s eyes.

2. Weekend! My cousin who was in junior high school was forced by his aunt to read and study at home. I casually took out my cousin's history book and opened it to the Qin Dynasty. I asked my cousin, "What do you think of Qin Shihuang's burning of books and humiliation of Confucians?" My cousin put down his hand. The book in it said "I hate Qin Shihuang for burning the books... He didn't even finish burning the books..."

3. In junior high school, the old class taught physics. After school, the old classman repaired the lights in the classroom and also taught students about electricity. Duang, sparks flash and clang, scary to death. Laoban fell off the desk. Get up and continue talking: Did you see it? This was called a short circuit just now.

There is a power outage in the classroom! The old class hurriedly went to find the school’s electrician

4. When I went to the bathroom to smoke during break in junior high school, the dean came to check; everyone smelled the smell of cigarettes on their hands, and the guy next to me was almost there. I saw with my own eyes that he put his hands into his buttocks and buttoned the button. When the dean smelled him, his face turned green and he beat him. I haven’t seen the dean for a week... I haven’t seen him for half a month... I’m drunk just thinking about it...

5. One morning when I was in junior high school, I agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend with the girl at my desk. Agreement, in the afternoon the girl came to me crying and complained that she was scolded by her father, and then she was very unhappy the whole afternoon. Finally, I suddenly felt that it was so troublesome to be friends and I had to coax her, so I put it forward

Understand the requirements for ending the agreement. Then... there is no more...

6. I remember when I was in junior high school, I went to the toilet with my classmates one night. He was eating an apple on the way before. It was in his pocket, and we chatted for a long time while squatting in the pit. This guy felt hungry and started to chew it as if nothing had happened.

After we saw it, we were all stunned. After this guy reacted, he panicked and the apple fell into the pit! After swallowing the last bite, I said the taste was really different! We were so happy!

7. Zhang San met his girlfriend’s parents for the first time today. His girlfriend’s mother asked him: What ideals did the young man have? Zhang San said: When I was in elementary school, it was my ideal to be a snack shop owner; when I was in junior high school, it was my ideal to be the owner of a game arcade; when I was in college, Bill Gates became my ideal. Now it is: Having a mother-in-law is my only ideal.

8. When I was in junior high school, I kissed a beautiful woman. Her boyfriend was a gangster in school. Actually, I didn’t like her. I just liked the feeling of being chased and beaten for a week. It was exciting!

9. I remember when I was in junior high school, one of my roommates had an anal fissure. I bought a lotion. The bottle looked like cough syrup. I had a cough at that time, so I picked it up and took a sip. It didn’t taste right. , it’s not sweet. My roommate came in from outside the door and asked you what you were doing. You don’t know how to drink? I said yes, I drank. Later I found out what it was...

10. When I was in junior high school, my Chinese teacher once gave a lecture, "Some people died, but their spirits are still alive, and some people are still alive..." At this point, she suddenly grabbed my ear and said, "But they fell asleep." ! ”

11. When I was in junior high school, I rode a bicycle to school at noon. I got there a little late. There were very few students on the road. It was a good wind, you know? , that is, I was riding from south to north, and the south wind was blowing, and the wind seemed to be quite strong

The speed I was riding at, I couldn’t estimate how many steps it took, it was quite fast, and suddenly I don’t know whose dog ran away. The dog chased me, so I rode faster. In the end, the dog caught up with me faster. When I got scared, I rode into the ditch and fell hard. I was really annoyed at the time, so I got up and used my bicycle to scare the dog away. Fortunately, That dog is not ferocious, otherwise I would be really miserable.

12. My younger brother is in junior high school. He told me that he was in a long-distance relationship. I asked him where the girl was from, and the second-rate brother said: "She's from the next class." Damn, I can't stand him. ah.

13. The junior high school toilet has just been painted, and I left a footprint in the men’s toilet!

Later, the dean went from class to class to check shoes, and a man stood in a row and raised his feet to look at the soles of his shoes!

It was actually discovered! Scared me to death! Luckily I had a different pair of shoes. ?

14. Today I went to a junior high school classmate’s house to play. He stopped studying after junior high school. He got married early and his child is five years old. Ask your child, do you want to go to school? He said he wanted to, and I asked again, why do you want to go to school? I thought he said he wanted to be a scientist when he grew up, but he said: My dad said that ugly people should study more. It's not biological, well, absolutely.

15. Everyone is talking about exams, and my brother is also talking about one thing. A junior high school student was caught peeping during the exam and was deducted ten points. When the culprit came out, the whole school was boiling. Damn, minus three points

16. When Xiao Li went to school in the morning, he took five yuan to eat ramen. When he was crossing the intersection, he was stopped by a junior high school student and asked for money. At first, Xiao Li said he didn’t have any, and then he said he wanted to search him. Xiao Li immediately got scared. But when he thought that eating was important, he said, "I have five yuan, but I need to eat, so I can't give it to you." He then asked how much the meal cost. Xiao Li said it was two yuan, so he snatched Xiao Li's five yuan and asked for it. He paid me back two yuan and rode away...

17. When I was in junior high school, I had a lot of friends in school.

One day, my dad gave me a photo of a beautiful woman and said: This is a photo of a girl and her mother. She is beautiful, right? The daughter must be even more beautiful. Today, dad will tell you a secret. In our family, you are very beautiful. I arranged a baby marriage for you when you were young. She is this woman's daughter. Now she has moved out of town. Don't talk about friends. I'm sorry. Keep the photos and arrange for you to meet when you are admitted to college.

I finally went to college. I told my story in the dormitory today, and they all expressed disbelief.

So I took out the photo, and I took one look at it and said: This is not Ran Muto.

18. When I was in junior high school, there was a whole-school student meeting. The head teacher wanted the sports committee member to count all the girls in the class.

He said to the sports committee member (a lustful boy): "Go and clear out all the girls in the class."

The sports committee member was flattered and asked in a low voice: "Who should I kiss first...who should I kiss first?" ?”

The teacher thought for a while and said: “Of course it’s by student number!”

19. I was a weird person in junior high school. I got up early one day and went to run in jeans. , and then the people at the back of the team looked at me and said, "Hey, you are still wearing white underwear." I was surprised and saw that the pants were broken and there was leakage inside. Then I immediately took off my jeans and everyone was shocked. When they saw me wearing white jeans, they scolded me to the point of being crazy. How can anyone wear two pairs of pants?

20. I used to have very good grades, but I didn’t like to hand in homework. When I was in junior high school, there was a beautiful girl in the English class, but I hated her because she urged me to hand in my homework every day.

Later in high school, in another class, she was still the English class representative, and she kept urging me to hand in my homework for three years.

Now, she is lying next to me, and she still urges me to go home and hand in my homework every day... Humorous and meaningful jokes for middle school students 3

1. Sad story

Three Americans went to New York for vacation. They walked into a high-rise hotel and booked a suite.

The room is on the 45th floor of the building. In the evening, the three of them went out to watch a theater, and it was already late at night when they returned to the hotel. "I'm so sorry," the hotel attendant said, "all the elevators in our building are out of order tonight.

If you don't plan to walk back to your room, we will find a way to find one for you in the lobby. "No need," said one of them, "Thank you very much. We don't want to spend the night in the hall."

Tom started to climb the stairs. A companion said: "Climbing up to the forty-fifth floor is not an easy task, but I know how to make it easy. I will tell you jokes along the way. Andy, you sing a few songs.

And you, Peter, tell us some interesting stories." So, Tom told jokes and Andy sang, and finally climbed to the thirty-fourth floor. Everyone was exhausted and decided to rest first. one time. "Hey," said Tom, "it's your turn now, Peter. It's time to tell us a longer story, with an interesting plot and a sad ending."

"Then I will tell you a sad story as you asked. "It's not a long story, but it's very sad: We forgot our room key in the hall!"

2. Arrive at the station on time

Businessman Jimmy has been doing business on the railway for many years. One day he accidentally discovered that a train arrived at the station on time. He hurriedly ran to the conductor and said: "Please take a breath, I congratulate you! I have been running on this railway for fifteen years, and this is the first time I have seen a train arriving at the station on time." "Keep your breath, "The conductor said: "This is the train that was supposed to arrive at this time yesterday!"

3. Regret

A lady got on the tram, and the seats were full! , a gentleman immediately stood up and offered his seat. Unexpectedly, the lady sat down expressionlessly. The gentleman asked: "Madam, what did you say?" "Sir, I didn't say anything." "Madam, what a pity, I thought you said thank you."

4. Wine and water

A village near Gabrovo hired a teacher to teach the children in the village, and it was agreed that each family would give him two barrels of brandy every year as a reward for his services. When it was time to brew brandy, the teacher prepared several large wine vats to collect the wine sent by the villagers.

There are about 200 households in the village, and *** received 400 barrels of wine. Not long after, the teacher posted an advertisement to sell the wine. A wine vendor came, scooped up the wine, tasted it, frowned and left. What's going on? In fact, the situation is very simple: every villager is thinking about such a large vat of strong brandy. Who can taste it when mixed with two buckets of water?

5. All gone

A customer walked into a restaurant, took off his coat and hung it in the cloakroom, then sat down at the table and shouted: "Have some cooked beef. "The waiter said to him: "Sorry, no more." So the customer ordered a steak instead.

After a while, the waiter came out empty-handed and said again: "Sorry, no more!" Then, the customer ordered several more dishes, but was told "no more." The customer was very angry and stood up and said: "Okay, please bring my coat!" Soon, the waiter came over slowly and said with a smile: "I'm so sorry, your coat is gone too!" < /p>