If you are in a bad mood, who can tell me a joke? As long as I laugh, I will reward you. Don't be too cliche in the story.

Husband: "You see you are so fat, why don't you lose weight?" There are so many videos of online weight loss exercise, watch more! Wife: "That's all a lie. I've seen it. It's useless. "Husband:" Why is it useless? "Wife:" There is a video of losing weight for 30 days. I watched it in front of the computer for a month, and it didn't work at all! "

Q:

I saw this in the museum some time ago.

Answer:

a； What kind of boys do you like

b； I like the kind of boy who glows when he smiles.

b； Are you looking for Tathagata?

Supplement:

Every time I see a beautiful woman, I always say "Turn on handsome mode", but there is always another voice saying "Your configuration is too low, and turning on the mode failed".

Supplement:

What are you laughing at? I am an old man. Will you be scared to death after watching a horror movie? Who doesn't know that ghosts are fake? I tell you, even if there is a ghost, I am not afraid at all! What are you laughing at? I'm going to ask for the last time, will you accompany me to the toilet?

Q:

It's not funny, okay? Let me tell you a joke. The silly king saw a python and rushed over and licked it on his head. He was directly hit. His enthusiasm stunned him. Three questions hit the python's soul: what does this thing want? Why does it like me? Should I kill it? At the same time, three thoughts are stirring in the dog's mind: what a big piece of shit! ! Why is it tasteless? ! MB, still moving? !

Answer:

One day on the highway, I was idle and bored, and there happened to be a truck full of pigs next to me, so I told my husband next to me, dig! Look! A car full of your relatives! Who knows, this second-hand man didn't answer a word. If Nima hadn't married you, I would still be related to them! ?

Supplement:

A couple in the park are sweet, and the girl coquetry said her husband: I have a toothache ~ ~ The boy then kissed the girl and asked, Does it still hurt?

The girl said it didn't hurt! After a while, the girl coquetry said: Husband, my neck hurts! The boy kissed the girl's neck again and asked, does it still hurt this time? The girl said happily, it doesn't hurt anymore! An old lady stood by and watched for a long time, but she still couldn't help asking the young man, young man, you are really amazing. Can you treat hemorrhoids?

Q:

Tell a joke about you and I'll share it with you.

Answer:

After graduating from high school, I went to the highway intersection as a toll collector. One day, a Japanese man came to his window and asked for directions. Japanese fluent English made him unable to understand a word, but a strong sense of patriotism told him not to lose face in front of the Japanese, so he just smiled and nodded, "Yes, yes, yes ~!" "Then the Japanese rode his bike on the highway! .

Q:

I read it in a joke book.

Answer:

1. Shortly after the daughter and son came out of the testing station, the male security guard came to remind them: "Sister Xiao, we monitored that your mobile phone was left on the horse, bucket and lid."

Woman: "Thank you, thank you.

Supplement:

A pair of best friends made an appointment to take a shower together. In the dressing room, one looked at the other's underwear and said, "Wow, you and your husband are so in love?" Even underwear is a couple! "Then they froze together. ...

Supplement:

One day, I went out to take a shower and wanted to blow-dry my hair after washing. I saw a girl blowing in front of the hair dryer, another girl was waiting in line, and I was right behind. Wait and wait, that girl plays so well that the girl in front of me probably can't wait to leave. I have been waiting and waiting. I waited for a long time and finally blew it. Then, he unplugged the hair dryer, put it in his bag, despised me and left brilliantly. . . Holy shit. . . It is your own. You told me.

Supplement:

In the park, an old man looked up at the sky with a kite string in his hand, surrounded by a group of people, and they all looked up. One of the passers-by asked:

"Big ye, what are you putting? Very high, we can't see it. "

Grandpa said:

"Don't worry, you will see it in a moment." Passers-by continued to watch and felt the profound skill of this uncle. After a while, a plane flew in the sky, and grandpa ran away with it, shouting as he ran:

"Slow down, the line will be broken soon!"