Why should I study medicine?

Unexpectedly, my first diary was actually about this. I can't find adjectives to describe my mood now. I didn't learn the introduction of clinical medicine well, and I didn't recite Hibakari's oath. No matter how many moral theories you learn in books, sometimes you can't use so-called knowledge to deal with reality. Rational ethics is used for practice, not for examination. Time goes back to last summer, the day when the college entrance examination failed. Ironically, those who choose to study medicine are usually students with excellent grades and good moral character. I failed and got into the best major. The family spent a lot of money, effort and contacts. I know that in the eyes of outsiders, studying medicine is a hot major for people who suffer hardships, and it can even become a capital for family members to show off. I cried when my parents accompanied me to the bank to pay my tuition, and I don't remember what kind of despair it was. For the first time, I feel that stacks of money are so dazzling that there is no need to spend so much money on them. I said I must study medicine and work hard. But college is not what I expected at all. Studying medicine is not what I thought. All the knowledge points are almost intertwined, and there is no logic. And those knowledge points themselves are brand new to us. What we can do is to guess the important contents in the teacher's mind from a thick stack of books, instead of asking about those important and unreliable gossip. After eating the loss of human understanding and the sweetness of physiology, the existence of key points has become more double-sided and attractive. We become mechanically numb and can't tell what to believe and what not to believe. We can only retreat desperately, dizzy and at a loss. Those who stay up late reading books are either graduate students or medical students. We risk our lives to save more lives in the future. If the pay and return are equal, maybe we will feel gratified that the pay is worthwhile. Forgetting our backs makes us the most common psychological state before the exam and we don't want to give up. But everything fell apart in the examination room, and there was no hope of seeing the paper. They say all medical students are perverts. Watching horror movies is like watching the skeleton of a corpse, without any visual impact. Student science, killing rabbits and frogs. Children's songs sung when I was a child were all about protecting animals. We study medicine to save lives. However, do patients and their families really treat us as human beings? That sentence really shocked me a little. I can't recall all kinds of reports about doctors being beaten in the world, which will only make us question whether this road is necessary to continue. A doctor is a human being, not a god, let alone an imperial doctor. In your eyes, the doctor is the role of not accepting red envelopes and not seeing a doctor. In your eyes, the doctor must treat every patient well and can't make any mistakes. I remember my mother told a classic joke when she came back from the hospital. The family members questioned the doctor's ability and said that the patient was fine before hospitalization. That's interesting. Why did you come to the hospital? Hospitals are not welfare homes. China has no foreign first-class technology, no foreign doctor security system and no perfect social security system. Doctors in China are not respected by the society and their contributions are always ignored by others. It is difficult and expensive to see a doctor, and the doctor is unscrupulous and hostile for a long time. Hehe, I can only say that I am so chilling. Dad said that the doctor-patient relationship is very tense now. But he believes that this situation will definitely improve when I work. At least so far, I don't see any hope. Five years as an undergraduate and three years as a graduate. If you don't want to study for another two years, you may not find a job. After graduation, I want to go abroad and yearn for a foreign learning model. However, China's medical undergraduate degree is not recognized abroad. If you want to go abroad, you have to start with an undergraduate course. Then tell me, my excellent five-year-old spring is wasted on formalin. I have been in Shanghai for more than half a month, and my teacher will spend time guiding us in every class in the future. Take a double degree, pass intermediate and advanced interpretation, and a monthly salary of tens of thousands after tax in Shanghai is enough. But medical students can't. There is no time to think about secondary things, because we have to give everything we have. The teacher talks about economics, but I don't understand it. I don't know the law either. I want to read books on economics and law. I don't want to be illiterate except medicine. The reading teacher introduced her student life to us. She said that she was admitted to the School of Nursing of Fudan University, and it was boring to be a nurse, so she chose the English Department of Shanghai International Studies University. She spoke easily and I listened carefully. What is your alma mater? It is a place where we can scold and others can't. What is hometown? It is a place where we can scold and others can't. What is a major? That we can scold but others can't. The New Oriental teacher also said that you must put on makeup after work, which is the minimum respect for others. But medical students can't keep their nails, make up, wear earrings or jewelry. We sacrifice ourselves to satisfy others. Missed our colorful youth. I don't know whether it is right or wrong for my mother to study medicine. I can't wear boots to work (I don't know where the ghost logic comes from), I can't wear earrings (I didn't have surgery, so why can't I wear them), and I even want her to judge my hairstyle. From now on, she asked me to follow the rules that I don't need to follow now. I'm 19 this year, almost 20. Technically, I am a girl, not a doctor. I don't need to start sacrificing what I could pursue when I was young so early. Mom said angrily on the phone: Who told you to get your ears pierced? This is immoral. I was silent on the phone for a long time until my mother hung up the phone in a hurry. Yes, it's a small matter, but it poured cold water on me. Studying medicine does require too many sacrifices, but will it be too hasty to sacrifice from now on? I know that the essence of studying medicine is to cure diseases and save lives. I also saw the patient's strong desire for survival when I was a trainee, and I could feel the pain and despair of the patient. I also want to be a useful and capable person to society. Sadly, I didn't know what kind of life I wanted until I went to college. I hope I can start as a clerk and climb up step by step, Du Kelala and Lin Xiaojie. Instead of the so-called accumulated tempering, the older you are, the more capable you are, and the more credible you are. I hope my every step and every effort will pay off. Only in this way can I go on confidently. I still remember XX telling me that he wanted to study advertising. I still remember that everyone is in a state of crazy forwarding: learn nothing, what to learn? Few people expect the value to be directly proportional to the actual value. Therefore, it is really not easy to challenge more difficult things with regrets about dreams. I'm a little tired, really tired.