Complete works of humorous jokes

Humor is characterized by making people laugh, making people happy, joyful and cheerful. Applying this feature to social life will achieve amazing results. I collected some short humorous jokes for you. Let's have a look.

Selected humorous jokes

1) If you have too much homework, you can play cards with the paper: "Children's Mathematics", "I teach three languages" and "I teach science!" Can't afford it, can't afford it, can't afford it, I'll run first.

2) The hardest thing in the world is not diamonds, but Conan's life! Explosion can't kill you, sea can't kill you, fire can't kill you, train can't kill you, sharp knife can't kill you, smoke can't kill you, altitude can't kill you, neck can't kill you, drunkenness can't kill you, poison can't kill you, plane crash can't kill you, poisonous gas can't kill you, machine gun can't kill you, avalanche can't kill you&; In a word, Conan never dies!

3) My router is broken. Now it's routing crying.

4) Kong Huiling has taken great pains to take care of her family for more than ten years.

5) It is difficult to make money at noon on weekdays. Who knows that the money in the bag can't make ends meet every month Broken in two in one minute, still tight at the end of the month. Please pay tribute to the god of wealth at once. There are candles and fruits at home. I wish my friends are covered by the god of wealth all the year round, and they can earn money without worry.

6) It's cool when you make money, and it's even cooler when you spend money. Everything in the world is a cool word. I don't care who I can spend my whole life with, and the money I spend my whole life with you is called waste paper. Finally, it just comes out of your pocket and enters his pocket. I wish you money and a future, money and a future, flowers and a future.

7) That day, I was preparing to go to the zoo to see orangutans, and you came. I told you my arrangement politely, but I didn't expect you to turn your back and shout. Didn't you see I was right in front of you? You should go to the zoo.

8) Today, Chang 'e dated Bajie, and the swan met the toad, and the Weaver Girl obeyed the queen mother's orders and moved on. Don't wait, just make up your mind to love me.

9) Three generations of grandparents and grandchildren went fishing together. Grandchildren saw grandpa stunned with a fishing rod, so they said to his father, look at your father in a daze, silly! Dad was particularly angry and said, You talk nonsense, your dad is stupid!

10) once sitting in the middle of a bus, an old lady came halfway. Stand up at once and give your seat to the old man. The old man smiled and said, "Thank you. Sit down. There are many seats in the back. " I turned around and the position behind me was all empty. .

1 1) One day, I was taking a bus. When the bus started, someone under it chased and shouted, "Master, wait for me." I saw the driver say, "Bajie, I'm at the front station, and I'll wait for you there."

12) You earn paper, but you use money. Life is always there, so bitter! Advise friends, don't be pessimistic, be optimistic and natural, as long as you work hard, you will be the brightest; Bless your friends, have a safe life, and money will continue to revolve around you!

13) My ex-boyfriend sent me a message asking me to attend his wedding. I calmly answered three words: next time.

14) Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face. hellip& amphellip

15) The most painful thing in the world is to be awakened by urine after a good sleep.

Classic humorous jokes

1. After the festival, the host called pigs, cows, sheep, chickens, ducks and geese into the kitchen and kindly asked: How do you like to be eaten? Animals can't talk After a long time, the rooster spoke carefully: I think? The host said: Don't be afraid, just say whatever you want! The rooster said, actually, we don't want to be eaten! The host interrupted the rooster: "Look at you!" "

2. A rabbit is fishing in the pond, but he hasn't caught it for a long time. The next day, the little rabbit went fishing in the pond again, but he still didn't catch a fish all day. On the third day, the little rabbit insisted on fishing in the pond, but still found nothing. On the fourth day, the rabbit went fishing in the pond. A fish jumped out of the water and growled at the rabbit, "If you use carrots as bait again, I will kill you!" "

3. A man kept a parrot. The parrot was so strong that all the other birds in it were killed by it. Later, the master brought back an eagle and put it together. When the owner came to see it, the parrot's hair hung outside the cage. The master said: Don't die this time. But on closer inspection, the eagle died, and the parrot said naked: This grandson is really powerful, and he can't beat ya without taking off his arm. Two hens walked past a rooster, and one of them said, "Why is it always listless recently?" The other said, "I'm tired of doing business!" The first hen asked curiously, "What do you sell?" "The second sighed and said," Chicken essence! "

The sparrow told the parrot a love story: I stood on the wire with her mouth that day, and my whole body was numb. Parrot: That's what kissing feels like! The sparrow is angry: it's an electric shock.

A short humorous joke

1) Set up a shed to sell embroidery needles-the business is not big and the shelves are not small.

2) On the way to a bus, many people crowded up from the back door, the door could not be closed, and no one invested. The driver was really angry at that time and shouted loudly, if you don't invest money, get out, or I will get out! Everyone laughed at that time!

3) Money is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's gone after use.

4) Son: "Dad, what is capital and what is labor?" Father: "well, if I borrow one hundred dollars from my neighbor's house, I will have capital." If he wants money back from me, he must work for me. "

5) Wang Guoxuan, an animal strategist, was chosen by Cobra with absolute superiority. The tiger comforted the fox and said, Brother, don't be depressed. Everyone says that your feet are always slippery, so they are not stable enough. Cobra wears a pair of glasses and looks like a cultural person.

6) making money is as quiet as a virgin, and spending money is like a rabbit; Making money is as slow as a mouse and spending money as fierce as a tiger; It is hard to make money and spend countless money; Making money is eternal, and spending money is a romantic number. In fact, if you think about it carefully, why do you want to make money without spending money? So I hope you can make more money and spend more!

7) Because cow dung can make flowers more colorful! So flowers have been inserted in cow dung!

8) Making money is like sailing against the current, tired and tired, and spending money is like sailing against the current, which is cool and cool! Every day of earning money is like a year, which is even more difficult. Spending money is a flash in the pan, as fast as lightning. Friends, please make more money and spend money reasonably. Good luck.

My eyesight is very poor. For example, see the thumbtacks on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can't.

10) My ideal college life is to have classes at eight o'clock in the morning, go to the library in the afternoon, play games, watch movies and read books in the dormitory at night, and then go to bed at eleven o'clock on time. Who should I call to say good night before going to bed? . . . But it turns out. . There is still a gap between ideal and reality. For example, the distance between Mars and the Earth. . . . .

1 1) The most mispronounced Chinese characters: covet J &；; Igravey & ampuacute, not in harmony with jǔyǔ, L & Iacoutengy ǔ incarnation, gap w gap ngli gap ng, w&; ku w & amp； Aacutenk & ampugrave, Siniperca chuatsi gu & igravey & ampuacute, over 80 years old; A grave odi & eacute;, gluttonous t ā oti&; Egrave, hesitate ch &；; Iacutech & ampuacute??ǒ·ɡ· Zane ɡ, 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 Ng，Partridge CH &； Igravech & ampugrave flatters ch m & amp； Egrave me, with rickets G not gōul &；; Oacuteu. Did you miss these words?

How many people are shouting? . . Actually, I just lie in bed and think about it&; hellip~

13) Look at you, Yushu is in the breeze, handsome and charming, everyone loves you and a hundred flowers bloom. You must be the best among scum and the beast among animals! And according to observation, you must have been short of calcium since childhood and lack of love when you grow up. Grandma doesn't hurt, and uncle doesn't. The left face owes pumping, and the right face owes kicking. The donkey saw the donkey kicking, and the pig saw the pig stepping. Born to be a cucumber, I owe it a pat! The day after tomorrow belongs to walnut, you owe it! Life is like a broken motorcycle, it needs kicking! Finding a wife is a screw, but not a screw!