Secretly subsidizing my parents' family for three years, my husband's family treated me as usual. Why does my mother think I'm unfilial?

Marriage is not a union of two people, but a union of two families. Although it is said that "married daughters throw away water", because of "filial piety", daughters still subsidize their parents' families after they get married. One daughter has been secretly subsidizing her parents' family for three years. Her husband's family treated her as usual, but her mother did not I dislike her for being unfilial. Why? "A snake swallows an elephant when it is not enough", the dissatisfied mother

When you continue to subsidize your parents' family and give money to your mother, after a long time, your mother will think that this is a "natural" thing. Xiao Min's brother wanted to buy a house, and the family didn't have that much money, so her mother turned her attention to Xiao Min, who was married. Xiao Min would give her mother money every month, which made her mother feel that Xiao Min lived a good life. The first time she asked Xiao Min to sponsor her younger brother to buy a house, but Xiao Min did not have the money, so she refused to her mother. Her mother thought that Xiao Min was unfilial and would not help with such a small thing. Xiao Min is really "a mute who eats Coptis chinensis and can't tell the story of her sufferings."

The disadvantage of secretly subsidizing her mother-in-law's family is that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good

The daughter has already married into another family, so it stands to reason that she does not need to give money to her mother-in-law's family. Subsidy, because some husband-in-laws are "very critical" of their daughter-in-law's subsidy to her parents' family. They may not say anything in front of the daughter-in-law, but they will talk about it when having family time with others. Others will think that the daughter-in-law is ignorant.

Even if the mother-in-law doesn’t have any objections, she can’t bear the words her friends say “instigating her to leave home.” If she hears them too much, the mother-in-law will have objections to her daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law will also have “estrangement” with her mother-in-law. , naturally the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not harmonious. Discord between husband and wife

The idea of ??"preferring sons over daughters" has been around since ancient times. Some parents will instill in their daughters: "When they grow up, they should help their brothers get married and start a career." So when these girls grow up, , will give his salary to his mother, euphemistically called "keeping it", but in fact it is his brother's "starting capital for marriage". After getting married, a girl will continue to subsidize her parents' family, even if her mother asks for more.

“There is no best of both worlds.” When you give your money to your mother’s family, you and your husband will have less living expenses. If your husband has to pay back the mortgage and car loan, then the living expenses will fall on the woman. However, if you want to subsidize your mother's family, you will have to wrong yourself and your husband. Your husband will understand you at first, but he will not be able to cope with you being "Voldemort" all the time. In the end, the couple will quarrel and the marriage will be ruined. No matter how many things she does, she only has her younger brother in her eyes

Since she was a child, she has received the "teachings" of her elders through words and deeds, so her mother will also think that her son is more important. As the old saying goes, "Sons are treasures, daughters are grass." Daughters are ignored when they care about their sons. Daughters who have been deprived of love for a long time will feel flattered when they receive occasional love from their parents, just like a thirsty person walking in the desert who suddenly drinks water. She would take that as all.

The daughter wants to show off in front of her parents and attract their attention, but the parents only have their son in their eyes. When the daughter gets married in the future, she will not be a member of the family. They think that only the son can provide for her in old age. If the first child is a daughter, they will give birth to a son again.

Summary

When a woman gets married, she will form a new family with her husband. She must start to consider her own family. Occasionally subsidizing her natal family is a sign of filial piety, and her natal family will cherish it and often It is something you should do to subsidize your natal family. Your natal family will not be grateful and will only feel that the donation is not enough. Therefore, do not subsidize your natal family frequently after marriage. Do you think you should subsidize your natal family frequently or occasionally?