Mausoleum joke

1. Isn't it interesting? Many years later, your sideburns are gray, but he is still young. You were buried underground, and he invaded mercilessly. You struggled to see him one last time. He grabbed your rotten and dry head and whispered to the man behind him, Don't be afraid. This is just a zongzi. You know that you are no longer his innocence, but he has a new innocence. You've been dead for thousands of years, and he's as young as ever.

2. Another group of grave robbers came to rob the tomb. As they approached the coffin in the middle of the tomb, a monster resembling a human jumped out and waved an old black gold knife to drive the greedy people out of the tomb. The monster put the knife away, walked strangely to the front of the coffin and gently touched the coffin surface, as if to appease it. There was a strange but gentle voice in his throat, and he could hardly hear him saying, "Don't be afraid, Wu Xie. I drove them away. You go back to sleep. "

Wu Xie thought he had been fighting for a long time after he came out. He would shout in his dream, "Little brother! Danger! Run! " One day, after I woke up, my wife asked him sleepily, "I hear the name' Zhang Qiling' in your dream every night. Who is he? " He was silent for a while and covered his face with his hand. "Answer ... the buddy who can't find his way home."

4. I can't sleep again. I miss you again. Although I didn't say it, I know you. I really haven't forgotten you. Wu Xie is holding a mobile phone, and DuDu ... keeps ringing in his ears. It's harmful to your health ... then what ... I copied the wrong phone number of my little brother ... "This is very meaningful. It's definitely not just a wrong number. What didn't you tell Wu Xie, fatso?

The uncle selling noodles stared strangely at the boy Wu who had eaten noodles with him since childhood. Watching him desperately add vegetables and spices to the bowl around him, hiding an egg under his face, and finally putting chopsticks with a slightly smug look. "Little brother, let's eat." Grandpa looked at the empty seat beside him and swallowed what he wanted to say. (There are many of these types. After the death of little brother, Wu Xie went crazy ...)

6. After Wu Xie has been gone for many years, the fat man still remembers that afternoon, little brother stood at the door of the store, facing the light, and the sunset made his whole back shine. He suddenly smiled so naturally and said softly, "I didn't know until I met him that it was a good thing to have someone waiting for you to eat at home."

7. In fact, life is not as hard as I thought. Talk to others and the wind will blow away. It flashed in my mind that it was still the past time, and the robbery trio was wandering in the street. Only now that the fat man is old, Zhang Qiling is no longer there. Wu Xie is still alone. Is a question worth thinking about all your life? Wu Xie thought it was worth it, so it was worth it. The answer is: "Grandpa, I don't regret meeting that guy with a stuffy oil bottle." That was the last one.

8. Many years later, Zhang Qiling's grave. Wu Xie asked the fat man, "I never understood why he took this book of songs to the grave?" The fat man took two puffs of cigarettes: "I don't know what my little brother is thinking." Wu Xie left disappointed. Pan Zi asked, "You really don't know?" "You fat man, I don't know anything?" "Why did you lie to Xiaoye?" "What the fuck can I say?" The fat man glanced at the tombstone and threw away the cigarette. "Three hundred poems, in a word, innocent."

9. "The first toast is to Xiaohua, thanking him for the time he spent with me when he was young; The second glass of wine is for the fat man to thank him for standing up for his brother. The third cup ... "He handed the half-drunk Meng Po soup to the bloody, silent young man. "Go to Zhang Qiling. Thank him for protecting Wu Xie's innocence for ten years, and thank him for risking his life for each other. I only wish for the afterlife and never meet each other. "

10. Twenty years later, he still died to save him. Dying in his arms, he smiled sadly: "If it was the old Wu Xie, it would definitely make you forget everything and start over. Too bad you only changed my innocence for ten years. Now, I won't be such a bad person ... "He said, and tried his best to stab the dagger hidden in his sleeve into the other's shoulder. "I want you to take the wound I gave you and remember me from generation to generation, Zhang Qiling ..."

Xiaohua hugs Wu Xie. We are family friends. We grew up together and risked our lives together. Am I important to you? Wu Xie is. Xiaohua says so, you give me everything I want, right? Wu Xie sensed a conspiracy. Well, anything is fine as long as it's not a flower evil. Xiaohua laughs! I want your Zhang Qiling! Wu Xie is a bolt from the blue! ! ! Xiaohua held her waist and gnashed her teeth ... help me cripple the blind man!

After many days of torture, Jieyu Hua was pale, weak and hoarse. And black glasses have no tendency to stop. He tortured Xiaohua day and night. This time, he must conquer him with his heart and body! Xiaohua, who suffered from severe insomnia, angrily threw a pot of cold water out of the window, and the black glasses that were wet and playing guitar downstairs stopped howling: "Ouch! After playing the guitar for ten days, I feel a little sleepy. This water makes me refreshed. Keep playing! Boom ~ "

Fight, kill. The fat man had a brainwave and shouted, "Little brother! Naively ask you to go home for dinner! " The force of violence, cleanly wring the necks of all zongzi. The fat man took out his mobile phone and said, "Last name is Jie, 2 minutes 15 seconds. Just wait and invite us to dinner. "

Many years later, Zhang Qiling's grave. Wu Xie asked the fat man, "I never understood why he took this book of songs to the grave?" The fat man took two puffs of cigarettes: "I don't know what my little brother is thinking." Wu Xie left disappointed. Pan Zi asked, "You really don't know?" "You fat man, I don't know anything?" "Why did you lie to Xiaoye?" "What the fuck can I say?" The fat man looked at the tombstone and threw away the cigarette. "Three hundred poems, in a word, not guilty.

Teacher: 1, R&D kindergarten math class: "Little bottle, you play the owner of the candy store. Suppose Naive went to the candy store today and bought 8 yuan's toffee and 14 yuan's fruit candy. How much do you have to pay the boss? " Naive: "No money." Teacher: "How can you not hand it in?" Naive: "Because the candy store is a small bottle."