Doomsday strikes, jokes in the industry

Once upon a time there was a man named Shuang.

He is dead.

On the day of the funeral.

His family cried and said

Cool ... cool. '

Passers-by are puzzled. Asked, "What do you like?"

The family cried:' Great ... awesome! !

2.

A cat found a mouse.

So he jumped on the mouse like a hungry tiger to eat it.

But then the cat was eaten by this mouse … ..

Why?

because

= => Tigers and mice are stupid and can't tell them apart.

3.

Mental patients in hospitals usually have a worship complex for doctors or nurses.

One day, a female patient came to see a male doctor. ...

Female patient: Dr. Lan, do you love me?

Dr. Lan pondered for a long time (in order not to hurt the patient and avoid the deterioration of his condition)

Dr. Lan: We have a doctor-patient relationship. Because you are ill, I must take good care of you. ...

In order not to hurt the patient, Dr. Lan explained for a long time and finally finished. )

Female patient: Dr. Lan, you mean you don't love me anymore?

Dr. Lan (brooding): Hmm … hmm … hmm …

Female patient: Nothing … I love Dr. Chen …

4.

There is an old lady in a mental hospital.

Wear black clothes and hold a black umbrella every day.

Squatting in front of a mental hospital.

The doctor thought: to cure her, we must start from understanding her.

So the doctor was dressed in black, took a black umbrella and squatted there with her.

The two spent a month in silence.

The old lady finally spoke to the doctor:

Excuse me-

Are you a mushroom, too

5.

One day, turtle's father, turtle's mother and turtle's son decided to go for an outing. They brought a Shandong pie and two cans of sea water.

Chicken, and then set off for Yangmingshan. After ten years of hard work, it's finally here! They sat on the floor and unloaded their equipment accurately.

Prepare dinner. Turns out I didn't bring a can opener!

Son of a turtle: "... I'll go back and get it." 」

Father Tortoise: "Good son! Come on! Mom and dad are waiting for you to come back for dinner. Go back quickly! "

Tortoise son: "Be sure to wait for me! Don't break your word! "

So turtle son set foot on the road home. ...

Time flies, time flies, 20 years have passed, but the turtle son has not appeared yet.

Mother turtle: "wife ... do you want to have dinner first?" I'm so hungry, I said ... "

Tortoise Dad: "No! We promised our son! Ok ... wait for him for five years, or let him go! "

It's been five years, and the turtle son still hasn't seen it. Tortoise parents don't care! Parents decided to start.

Take out the pie and get ready to eat. ...

Suddenly, turtle son poked his head out from behind the tree. ...

Turtle son: "Shit! I knew you would steal! Trick me into getting a can opener? I waited for 25 years, and finally.

I have been waiting for you! I hate being cheated!

6.

Xiao Xin: Dad, why are there three gold medals in my name?

Dad: You are short of gold in your life, so you are named Xin, just like some people are short of water, so you are named Miao, and some people are short of wood, so you are named Sen.

Xiao Xin: Dad, what do you think is missing from Sister Guo Jingjing's life?

7.

A boyfriend and girlfriend were sitting on a park bench in love, and the woman suddenly wanted to fart.

Say to the man: I am a cereal bird, do you listen to it?

Men are willing to listen

So, under the cover of "goo goo" birdsong, the woman happily farted.

W: Does it sound like a cuckoo?

Man: What a fart! I didn't catch it!

8.

The tortoise is hurt. Let snails buy medicine. Two hours have passed and the snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise was in a hurry to scold: if I don't fucking come back, I'll die! At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: you fucking said I wouldn't go!

9.

One day, an elephant was taking a bath. Suddenly an ant came up to the elephant and said. You stand up. The elephant stood up. Ants! You sit down. The elephant asks the ant what you want to do. Stand for a while, sit for a while. Ants answer! I lost my underwear. Let me see if you stole it.

10.

Elephants accidentally stepped on an ant nest, and the ants that built their nests climbed onto the elephants one by one. The elephant shook its body and the ants fell down. At this time, there was another elephant around its neck, and the fallen ant shouted "strangle it".

1 1.

One day in computer class, a row of classmates' computers crashed. So a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer crashed, and our platoon was all dead." At this time, many students said, "We are dead, too." Then the teacher asked, "Who else is not dead?" Only one classmate stood up and said, "I'm not dead yet!" " "The teacher said strangely," the whole class is dead. Why don't you die? "

12. Before eating peanuts, monkeys should put peanuts in their buttocks before taking them out. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it peaches, but the peach core could not be pulled out. The monkey is afraid. You must measure it before eating now.

13. Xiaoming: "Dad, am I a stupid child?"

Dad: "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy ..."

14.

Tell a story: "Once upon a time, there was a eunuch .............."

Someone can't help asking, "What's next?"

Continue to tell the story: "Below? No ... "

15.

A man who just learned a foreign language was walking in the street that day. He accidentally stepped on a foreigner's foot. The man quickly said, "I'm sorry." The foreigner also said politely, "I'm sorry, too." Hearing this, the man quickly said, "I'm sorry, three." The foreigner was stupid and asked, "What are you sorry for?" The man said helplessly, "I'm sorry."

16.

A letter from the Tang Priest to the Monkey King.

Dear Wukong:

I write this letter slowly, because I know you can't read fast!

It rained twice this week, the first time for 4 days, and the second time for 3 days!

Did you have a good time in Huaguoshan? I had a terrible time in heaven. Because there is no gravity, my stool, urine, tears and nose can't fall off. Do you feel bitter?

Our beef noodles here are delicious. Let's go to the restaurant in West Street for hot pot when you come another day!

Your Guanyin sister is going to have a baby, so I don't know whether you want to be an uncle or an aunt for the time being, because I don't know whether it will be a boy or a girl!

Did you receive the clothes I sent you? I was afraid of being overweight when I was ready to post it, so I cut the button and put it in my pocket!

It's very late to write here. Come and play with me sometime. Remember not to drink more water, or it will be very uncomfortable if you can't pee here!

P.S. wants to send you money, but the envelope is stuck!

17.

A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, eat cucumber and pull watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

18.

Someone went to Shanghai on business and lost a dollar in the street. The policeman said, "We will definitely help you find it." The man went back in January, and the street where he lost his money was dug up to build roads. He couldn't help but sigh, "Everything in Shanghai is real."

19.

Classic joke: One day, an ant was sunbathing when he suddenly saw an elephant coming slowly. It got up and straightened its front legs. The rabbit next to you is busy asking what you are doing. The ant said, "Shh ~ ~ ~ ~ Keep your voice down and watch me kick him."

20. The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself in two to play badminton. Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four pieces to play mahjong. Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. Mother earthworm cried and said, "why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! " Father earthworm said weakly ... I suddenly want to play football.

2 1. The tortoise and the hare raced ... The hare quickly ran to the front ... The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly ... and said to him: Come up, I'll carry you ... Then ... the snail climbed up ... Soon ... The tortoise saw an ant again ... and said to him: Come up, too .. So the ant came up. When the ant came up, he saw the snail on it and greeted him. Do you know what the snail said? The snail said, hurry up, this turtle is so fast. ..

22.

One day, a family caught fire, and both parents escaped, leaving only one son inside. Mother nervously shouted outside the house: "Son ... what are you doing ... you won't come out after the fire ..." The son replied: "I'm wearing socks ..." The mother said: "What socks are you wearing after the fire ..." Five minutes later, the son hasn't come out ... The mother shouted nervously again: "Son! Come out ~ There's a fire, and you're still inside ... "The son said," I'm taking off my socks. ........

23.

A man went fishing by the river, wearing a leaf first ~ no fish took the bait for a long time, so he changed a piece of bread ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~ no choice but to change earthworms ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~ ~ He was angry ~ He took out 100rmb and fell into the water and cursed, "*-# What do you want to eat! Buy it yourself! ! !

24.

& gt My deskmate has a cold and a runny nose, but he forgot to bring his handkerchief, so he has been sniffing. The Chinese teacher suddenly turned around and shouted, "That's enough! Stop it! Too noisy! " The whole class was silent. The teacher is > He said, "Who steals noodles in class and makes so much noise?" "

25.

The patient said to the dentist, "You really make money. It only took you three seconds to earn $3. "

The doctor replied, "If you like, I can pull it out in slow motion."

26.

"Narcissism" means that you must be reborn as a woman in your next life and then marry a man like me; "Despair" means that the restaurant ordered two dishes and ate the first one: "Is there anything worse in the world? ! "Eat the second" shit! There really is! " "Silence" means that the judge asks: Why do you want to print counterfeit money? The criminal said: I can't print real money.

27.

The Weaver Girl came down to take a bath and got to know the Cowherd, and interpreted a love story that made the gods cry. This tells us that there is no chance to take a bath at home, so we must take a bath outside. .....

28.

Xiao Ming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher, "There are many ants in the toilet." The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiaoming. "What did ants say?" Xiao Ming looked blank ... and then said, "The ant didn't say anything ..."

29.

A person always farts at work, and colleagues can't help but say, "Can you be quiet?" Then I saw him sitting there trembling. Colleagues asked him strangely what he was doing, and he replied, "I didn't make any noise, but now it's tuned to vibration!" " ! ! "

30.

Mother Mosquito: "What's the matter with you, son?" The little mosquito cried and said, "Today, the little fly bullied me and called me a bloodthirsty vampire." The mother mosquito said, "Ignore it. Their home is not a good thing either. They all grew up eating shit.

3 1.

I spent 80,000 yuan to buy a Western Zhou pottery jar. Yesterday, it went to the appraisal column, and the expert said seriously, "Which Western Zhou did this belong to?" This is from last week!

32.

Son: "Mom, I failed the math exam today." Mother: "Why, what's the problem?" Son: "The teacher asked me 2*3=? I said =6. " Mother: "That's right, and then what?" Son: "The teacher asked me 3*2=?" Mother: "Isn't this the same?" Son: "That's what I said. ..

33.

A prisoner was shot. Bullets are produced in a county with poor quality. The first shot was not fired, and then the second shot was fired ... the third shot ... at this time, the prisoner cried, "You strangle me, it's so scary!"

34.

The father told his son a story: "Uncle told Xiaoyang to cut wood. Unexpectedly, Xiaoyang cut down his uncle's favorite peach tree. Uncle was angry but didn't scold him. Do you know why? " The son replied, "It may be because Xiaoyang still has an axe in his hand, so he dare not scold him."

35.

Dung beetles and mosquitoes meet for the first time. Dung beetles: "What do you do?" Mosquito: "Nurse, give me an injection." Dung beetles grabbed the mosquito's hand and wept bitterly: "Fate, I'm also a doctor, Chinese medicine, and I pinch pills.

36.

A man always can't find a girlfriend, but he goes to tell his fortune. The fortune teller said: you are doomed to have no women in the first half of your life; Not that person's eyes lit up: then I should have it all my life? The fortune teller said, well, you will get used to living alone for the rest of your life.

37.

When someone was eating, he couldn't see a piece of beef in the beef Lamian Noodles, so he pointed to the bowl and asked the boss: Why is there no beef in Lamian Noodles? The boss said flatly, don't take it too seriously. You still expect a wife who eats old woman's cake?

38.

Three mice tasted American, Japanese and China wines respectively, and the mouse who drank American wine fell down after three steps. The mouse who drank Japanese wine fell down after two steps; The mouse drinking China Erguotou, with a kitchen knife in his hand, shouted, "Where's the fucking cat?"

39.

While eating in a restaurant, a customer who had been waiting for a long time called the waiter and asked, "Why isn't the braised fish I ordered ready yet?" "Just a moment, sir." "What? What are you waiting for? " The customer was very angry and said, "Is your fish fresh?"

40.

One day, the cow gave the donkey a difficult problem and asked which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. Cow scolds: What a donkey, male left and female right!

4 1.

A man was about to jump off a building when his wife, who had just returned, shouted, "Honey, take it easy, we still have a long way to go!" " Hearing this, the man jumped down without hesitation. The negotiator standing by said, "Madam, you really shouldn't threaten him like this.

42.

The director and the section chief share the elevator. After farting, the director said to the section chief, "You farted." The section chief said, "I didn't fart." Soon, the section chief was dismissed. The director said at the meeting, "You can't afford to fart. What do you need? "

43.

A lazy cat went crazy after a mouse and finally got married. After marriage, the cat took care of the mouse in every way, and the mouse soon became fat. The mouse was very moved: "Dear, why are you so kind to me?" The cat smiled and said, "You'll know when you get fat.

44.

Every time I look in the mirror, I always encourage myself mentally: "I am very creative." Ugliness is not my intention. God, don't lose your temper. I will live bravely and use my endless creativity to set off the beauty of this world! " Actually, I am really, really creative. ...

45.

Friends went climbing together. When they reached the top of the mountain, a girl shouted to the beautiful mountains and rivers: Motherland! My mother! A boy who secretly loves her quickly shouted: motherland! My mother-in-law

46.

I bought two puppies before, one named you "face" and the other named myself "ass"! It's not two days since Face died in a car accident. Every time I see your ass, I think of your face! If your face were still there, it would be as big as your ass now!

47.

After driving Wukong away, Tang Sanrou met the monster again and had to spell to call Wukong back for help. Soon, a voice came from the air: "Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is not in service area, please redial later.".

48.

The mouse went to the toilet. When he saw the bear, he was too scared to speak. The bear looked at the mouse and said, "Can't you shed your hair?" The mouse shivered and said nothing. The bear asked again, "Can't you depilate?" The mouse trembled and said, "No …" The bear grabbed the mouse and wiped his ass and left! 【 Use the mouse as toilet paper. ..

49.

I just chatted with my friends, and some of them talked about you, you know? I quarreled with them and almost got into a fight, because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan. It was really too much! I didn't treat you like a pig at all!

50.

Panda's birthday, I say to you: I made two wishes, one is to cure my dark circles, and the other is to have a color photo.

5 1.

Bees chase butterflies, but butterflies marry snails. The bee doesn't understand: where is he better than me? Butterfly replied: at least people have their own houses, unlike you who live in dormitories.

52.

Hey ..! There are always a few days in a month!

53.

The production team bought a donkey and died in a few days. It happened that the female donkey was in heat. The staff of the production team called the production team leader who was away on business. "Captain, the female donkey is in heat and the male donkey is dead. Shall I buy a donkey first or wait for you to come back? "

54.

Little dung beetles: Mom, why do we eat shit? Dung beetles's mother: This child, how can you say such disgusting things while eating?

55.

A meteor flashed in the night sky, and I immediately made a wish that you would become more beautiful. Who knows that just after I made my wish, the meteor came back with a whoosh and said to me, "Brother, are you deliberately embarrassing me?" ! !

56.

Give me a canteen steamed bread as a fulcrum, and I can tilt the earth! & lt understand, the steamed bread in this canteen is too hard ... >

57.

See "the food in the canteen can only be fed to pigs, but it is returned to us?" I thought of a sentence. A classmate went to the canteen to cook and asked the chef after dinner, "Master, why is there rice in your sand?" ! ! "

58.

A short story that girls must read: bats are reborn in God's place. God says he can give you three conditions. The bat said, "I was dark in my last life, so I want a snow-white body and wings in my next life." I'm used to sucking blood. Let me suck blood. " God said, ok, I promise. Do you know what will happen to him in his next life? "sanitary napkins" Ha ha.

59.

The restaurant fly said to the toilet fly: you chase the smell all day, and I eat spicy food all day. Come here! Toilet flies: no common goal, no common goal. What's the use of eating well? How many beautiful women have you met?

60.

When I was a sophomore, all the girls in the dormitory liked Emil Wakin Chau's songs, and one tape was borrowed by everyone. One day, the girl in the upper bunk asked: Where is my Emil Wakin Chau? The girl in the lower bunk replied, It's in my bed! There was silence for two seconds, and then everyone fell on the bed.

6 1.

A boy nicknamed a friend of his class a fat pig, and a girl cried for a teacher. The teacher promised to criticize the boy. The next day, the teacher said in class, "A boy is too rude to give others nicknames casually, but he can't call others names he likes."

62.

A police dog saw an ordinary dog coming on the road and suddenly ran over to ask it: I am a police dog. What are you? The ordinary dog looked at it dismissively and said, idiot, you see clearly, I am plain clothes!

63.

If there are no flowers, spring will be lonely, if there is no passion, the four seasons will be mediocre, if there is no me, you will lose someone who cares about you the most! Without you, the rabbit will ask, "Who should I race?"

64.

I have a request: invite me to dinner. I hope you can satisfy me, or I'll write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front of it: apply for a certificate. Also invited me to have a good meal, or wrote: get married, no conditions.

65.

Man: I really love you. Please be my girlfriend! Woman: But I have no feelings for you at all! ! M: Well, you tell me what's wrong with me and I'll change it! ! Woman: Then tell me what is good about me first, and I'll change it! ! !

66.

A lady always calls her grandson a diploma. Someone asked her, "Why is it called a grandson diploma?" The woman replied, "I sent my daughter to college, and she brought this little guy back after graduation."

Brain teaser: 1 A can of wine has been buried underground for a thousand years. What has it become?

Answer: alcohol.

There is a pig. He walked and walked until he came to England. What has he become?

Answer: pig

In class, the teacher recited the text at will. Piggy, puppy and kitten all raised their hands. Who will the teacher call?

Answer: Puppy, because Wangwang is humble.

Butterflies, ants, spiders, centipedes, they work together, which one didn't get paid in the end?

Answer: centipede, because it won't spend money in vain.

The elephant's nose is the longest in the zoo. Who is the second longest?

Answer: Elephant.

6 What kind of fruit has the worst eyesight?

Answer: mango.

7 Which two kinds of vegetables have mobile phones?

Answer: Radish and vegetables have their own tastes.

A turtle walked through a pile of shit, but left only three footprints on it. Why?

Answer: Hold your nose with one foot.

Why did nine people go to bed to sleep?

Answer: The bed won't come by itself.

10 is actually 800 Spartans. Why did it become 300 in the movie?

Answer: Wu Bai went to sing.

Why can Xiao Qiang stop the car with one hand?

Answer: take a taxi

12 If there is a car, the driver is a prince and the passenger is a princess, whose car is it?

Answer: If so.

13 Jin Mu, whose legs are long?

Answer: ham sausage

1 Who in the world will suddenly get old?

Answer: the bride. Because today is the bride, tomorrow is the wife.

How much is a heart worth?

Answer: 1 100 million. Because of singleness!

How much do I need to bring when I go out in typhoon weather?

Answer: 40 million. Don't go out because there is nothing to do in typhoon weather.

The exam is coming. What books can't I read?

Answer: Encyclopedia (lose all encyclopedias).

If tomorrow is the end of the world, why should someone commit suicide today?

[Answer] Have a place in heaven

Q: What are cloth and paper afraid of?

A: cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand.

Reason: not (cloth) afraid of 10 thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand.

Question 7: What is the pencil surname?

A: Xiao.

Reason: Sharpen (sharpen) the pencil.

Q: What will Kirin become when it arrives at the North Pole?

Answer: ice cream.

Reason: ice cream (iced unicorn).

Question 9: From 1 to 9, which number is the most diligent and which number is the laziest?

Answer: 1 lazy; 2 Diligence

Reason: One (1) does not do two (2) endlessly.

10 Question: How to make sparrows quiet?

Answer: Click.

Reason: Silence (silence).

1 1 Question: Who runs fastest in history?

Answer: Cao Cao

Reason: Speak of the devil.

12 question: 30-50 which number is worse than bear shit!

Answer: 40

Reason: Facts speak louder than words.

15 September 28th is Confucius' birthday, so what's the date of 10 June 28th?

Answer: Confucius full moon

16 the wolf is coming (guess)?

Answer: carambola (sheep escape)

17 what would the world be like if Chiang Kai-shek were still alive?

Answer: One more person. ...

18 There are carp under these two pieces of ice (four-word idiom)?

Answer: Be polite (there are carp in the ice).

19 why does tofu hurt people?

Answer: Because it is frozen tofu.

A bus had an accident and everyone was injured. Why is Xiaoming okay?

A: Because he is not in the car.

2 1 There is a place where you can get in but not out. What is this place?

Answer: the grave

Chickens and geese compete in the 100 meter race. Chickens run faster than geese. Why did you arrive at the terminal later?

Answer: The chicken ran in the wrong direction.

The bell in the east rang, but there was no one in the classroom. What happened?

Answer: physical education class.

Lingling has never studied arithmetic, but the teacher praised her math as one of the best. Why?

Answer: Count from one to two.

Some people say that eating fish can avoid myopia. Why?

Answer: Have you ever seen a cat wear eyes?

What has no tongue in its mouth?

Answer: teapot mouth

What kind of official doesn't give orders, but always smiles at others?

Answer: Xin Langguan

A policeman saw the thief and ran away. Why?

Answer: I want to catch the thief quickly.

Why can frogs jump higher than trees?

Answer: because trees can't jump

"You are standing with a pig", guess an animal.

Answer: I like it (like it)

What flowers can't be touched

Answer: Spark

When will the clock in Times Square ring 13?

Answer: when it is time to repair.

In ancient times, who became a father-in-law first and then a father?

Answer: eunuch

When someone knocks at the door, you will never say come in.

Answer: When going to the toilet.

Is it black-bone chicken or white chicken? Why?

Answer: Black chickens are very powerful. They can lay white eggs, but white chickens can't lay black eggs.

Why does everyone like to sit and watch movies?

Answer: Because it hurts to stand and watch your feet.

4 1 What will be the impact of canceling morning self-study?

Answer: Sleep less for half an hour.

Please race the tortoise and rabbit, and ask the pig to be the referee. Who will win the game?

Answer: I can't say! The person mentioned is a pig …

What are the similarities between what two women said and what a thousand ducks said?

Answer: Nonsense (chicken)

Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?

Answer: Because the stars will "flash"

1 Who is the king of beasts? ● Zoo director

What kind of person will appear after death? ● The characters in the movie

What hat can't I wear? ● Nut

What books are not available in bookstores? ● suicide note

What is the elephant's left ear like? ● Right ear

What water will never be used up? ● Tears

The family asked the doctor about the patient. The doctor only put up five fingers and the family cried. What is the reason? ● Three long and two short.

Put a chicken and a goose on the iceberg at the same time. Why is the chicken dead and the goose not dead? ● Goose is penguin.

10 What English letters do people like to listen to best? ● CD

1 1 What is the secret of longevity? Keep breathing, don't die.

12 The angrier things get, the bigger things get. ● Temper

13 What are the flowers that bloom all year round? ● Plastic flowers

14 Why does Chang 'e like living on the moon? Chang 'e loves rabbit meat.

/kloc-what's the name of farting before 0/6? ● Unique voice

19 where is the safest place when the earth explodes? ● Hell

A group of henpecked men got together to discuss how to revive men's glory. Suddenly, they heard that their wife was coming, and everyone fled everywhere, but only one didn't run. Why? Low frighten fainted.

What word is universal? ● Arabic numerals

A child and an adult are walking in the dark. The child is the son of an adult, but the adult is not the father of the child. Why? ● Because they are mother-child relationship.

Two fathers and sons went to buy hats. Why did they only buy three hats? Grandpa, father and son

Why can't a hammer hammer eggs? Of course, the hammer won't break.

A man was chased by a tiger and suddenly a big river appeared in front of him. He can't swim, but he passed. Why? ● Faint.

What easily knocked down the 27th World Boxing Champion? ● Sleep.

There was once a lady who divorced several times and played a four-character idiom? ● Exhausted (abandoned) former public office (work)

What do stutterers suffer most from? ● Make long-distance calls.

3 1 Is "kiss" a verb, adjective or noun? ● Conjunction

After the failure of heart exchange surgery, the doctor asked the dying patient what his last words were. Guess what he would say? In fact, you don't understand my heart.

Why do men have to fight when drinking together? ● Don't eat hard food.

When does the sun rise in the west? When swearing.

There is a newborn baby, born on the same day of the same year and the same month, and two children with the same parents, but not twins. Is this possible? Maybe, they are triplets.

A new hospital has been opened in this city, with advanced equipment and thoughtful service. But the strange thing is: there are no patients here. Why? This is a veterinary hospital.

In winter, how can ice be turned into water immediately without heating? ● Remove two points of ice.

4 1 Why do peacocks fly southeast instead of northwest? Because there are high walls in the northwest.

A truck driver collided with a motorcyclist. The truck driver was seriously injured, but the motorcyclist was fine. Why? ● At that time, the truck driver did not drive.

There is a young man who wants to do business in the river. However, there are no boats or bridges in this river. So he swam across the river in the morning, and it only took him an hour to swim to the other side. In the afternoon, the width and velocity of the river did not change. More importantly, his swimming speed did not change, but it took him two and a half hours to swim to the other side. Why do you think it is? Two and a half hours add up to an hour.

There is a big ship at sea. Its initial capacity is 60 people. As a result, when I reached the 59th person, I actually sank into the sea! That's why (there are no pregnant and overweight people on board; There is no weight on board? Relax, it's a submarine.

There are two people, one facing south and the other facing north. They are not allowed to look back, walk or look in the mirror. Can they see each other's faces? Of course, they stood face to face.

What is the difference between Confucius and Mencius? ● Confucius' son is on the left. Mencius' son is on it.

5 1 What can I borrow without returning it? ● Sorry.

What was the first animal you saw when you entered the zoo? ● Conductor

What can't a magnifying glass enlarge? ● Angle

What will increase by half after handstand? ●6

You will destroy it by calling its name. What is this? ● Silence

What comes often, but never really comes? ● Tomorrow

When Xiao Wang and his parents traveled abroad for the first time, their parents seemed at a loss because of the language barrier. Xiao Wang doesn't know any foreign languages and he is not deaf, but he has never felt any inconvenience like in his own country. Why? Xiao Wang is a baby.

There is a natural black marble. What will happen if you throw it into Qiantang River on September 7th? ● Sink into the river bottom

6 1 Under what circumstances will people burst into tears? ● Cremation

Why did a healthy couple give birth to a baby without eyes? ● Chicken lays eggs

Why do two tigers have to fight to the death before giving up? No one dares to stop fighting.

Mr. Lin changed an artificial heart after major surgery. After she got well, her girlfriend broke up immediately. Why? ● Never really loved her.

You can do it, I can do it, everyone can do it; One person can do it, but two people can't. What is this for? ● Dreaming

When you come home in the middle of the night, only to find that you forgot your key and there is no one else at home, what is your greatest wish? I forgot to lock the door.

What are the benefits of black hair? ● Not afraid of tanning

If tomorrow is the end of the world, why should someone commit suicide today? A seat in heaven.

Manager 7 1 can't cook, but there is a dish that is particularly good at. What is this? ● Fired.

What wine can't be drunk? ● Iodine

Why is a bottle of medicine marked highly toxic harmless to people? As long as you don't drink.

You don't need to work hard at typing. ● doze off

Some things, both buyers and sellers know, only users don't know. What is this? ● Coffin

Some people say that a woman is like a book, so what book is a fat woman like? ● bound volume

What's the difference between being bitten by a crocodile and being bitten by a shark? Nobody knows.

"Innate" refers to the inheritance of parents, so what is "acquired"? the day after tomorrow

What are the main reasons for divorce? ● Get married

How to put the pencil on the ground so that others can't draw it? Low on the wall.

Why does the Statue of Liberty always stand in new york Harbor? She can't sit.

Why can frogs jump higher than trees? ● Trees can't jump

Is there anything in the world that can carry people at a speed close to 2000 km/h without refueling or other fuels? ● Earth

What is the name of a beautiful woman who is afraid of losing her figure and not having children after marriage? ● Beauty

Why do blacks like to eat white chocolate? ● Afraid of eating fingers.

88 Who is always afraid to take a bath ● Clay figurine

Why are Buddhists mostly in the northern hemisphere? ● South "no" Amitabha.

Stealing is not illegal. ● Sneak

9 1 Do you know where modern scientists are usually born? ● In the hospital

Why do geese fly south? ● Because walking with your feet is too slow.