How to resolve the awkward silence on the phone

How to resolve the awkward silence during phone calls?

Since the text messaging function appeared on mobile phones, people have become more and more accustomed to using their thumbs instead of their mouths.

“Looking at the mobile phone and typing on the keyboard” – many young people are intoxicated for hours and never tire of it. How to resolve the awkward silence during phone calls? Wouldn't it be clearer to just call and tell him directly? In fact, this is not the case. Due to the immediacy of communication, the phone also brings a series of psychological burdens to us, such as the embarrassment of being silent when making phone calls.

Example

Xiao Zhang has always had a good relationship with his colleagues, but recently, he has begun to doubt his interpersonal skills and has become anxious at work.

It turned out that he had recently made a girlfriend. At first, the two parties often communicated through text messages, and the development went smoothly. Once he called the other party and felt that the other party's attitude seemed very cold. He suddenly felt very nervous. Did he say something wrong? After chatting for a few words, Xiao Zhang hung up the phone hastily. From then on, every time he called his girlfriend, he would worry about another awkward moment. Therefore, before making a phone call, he will think about what to say. Once his thoughts get stuck, or the information he sends makes the other party get stuck, it will make him even more nervous. Over time, he began to doubt his ability to communicate.

Analysis: Listen to language with your ears and listen to non-language with your heart

In fact, during the communication process, the amount of information actually "said" by people only accounts for 20% of the total amount of information exchanged by people. %~30%, and more is completed through non-verbal information, including people's appearance, clothing, gestures, expressions, body posture, tone of voice, distance between each other and visual communication between the two parties, etc. Although these are not noticed by us at ordinary times, they convey the most important information subconsciously. In "A Dream of Red Mansions", Wang Xifeng's appearance "before I saw his face, I heard his voice first" left a deep impression on people; and Lin Daiyu's appearance of "two frowns, a pair of weeping eyes, a little bit of tears, and a slight breath" In terms of temperament, all viewers feel a sense of love and affection. None of this information is "said", but it leaves a deeper impression than words.

Thus, in the tens of thousands of years of human social activities, we have gradually adapted to the communication habit of "listening to language with ears and listening to non-verbal language with heart", using non-verbal information to guide and adjust communication results. key factors that facilitate our communication. The biggest flaw of the phone is that it cannot transmit non-verbal information, which makes many people feel at a loss and creates anxiety during the phone call.

The success of our expression not only depends on our communication skills and communication abilities, but also depends to a large extent on our level of nervousness. The more relaxed our minds are, the more flexible our thinking will be; the more nervous we are, the more likely it will be poor communication. If both parties on the call feel nervous, it is easy for a cold start to occur. At the same time, even if there is nothing to say during the interview, the exchange of non-verbal information can help both parties find topics to resolve the embarrassment. However, telephone communication cannot convey non-verbal information like face-to-face communication. Therefore, the cold spot phenomenon is difficult to resolve, thus affecting our emotions and communication effects.

Generally speaking, the following two situations are more likely to occur: How to resolve the embarrassment of being cold when making phone calls? First, when the other party is a very important person in our opinion - such as an important customer, leader or girlfriend, but the two parties are not very familiar with each other or feel that there is a gap between them. When we regard a certain communication as very important, we will worry about leaving a bad impression on the other party, and naturally it will be easier to feel nervous.

Second, introverts and people with melancholy temperament. A group of researchers from the University of Plymouth in the UK surveyed 1,000 people who used mobile phone text messaging services and found that the more frequently people send and receive text messages, the stronger their sense of social anxiety and introverted personality. Because such people are more likely to take into account each other's feelings during communication and are better at using their own non-verbal information to communicate. The phone, which cannot transmit non-verbal information, has obviously become a weakness in their communication.

Solution: How to alleviate the awkward situation during telephone communication?

First of all, we don’t need to deliberately “prepare” to eliminate tension. Unless it is a report or interview, you need to have a certain outline and explain everything you need clearly.

In fact, communication between lovers and friends is more about communicating feelings through language, and it does not matter how they are expressed. Interpersonal communication itself will not affect the other party's opinion because of one communication, but the comprehensive impression formed in multiple interactions. Therefore, don’t worry too much about the content of a phone call or even make yourself nervous.

Secondly, the call time should not be too long. Not everyone is good at talking on the phone. Generally speaking, shy and introverted men don't like to make phone calls, while women prefer to hear sweet words from their boyfriends on the phone. Lovers need to understand each other during the relationship, and do not force the other party to use communication methods that they are not good at. I prefer to talk on the phone in a matter-of-fact manner. A successful phone conversation is considered to be a clear expression of one's meaning after a simple greeting.

Third, imagine what the other person looks like and use enthusiasm to influence the other person. Although the hosts on the radio station have never met the listeners, we can still be infected by their passionate language and amiable tones. Here is a method - imagine the other person's voice and smile, and treat it as a face-to-face communication. This can make us relax. Even if the other person cannot see you, your cheerful tone will leave a good impression on the other person.

Finally, use a combination of communication methods. Text message communication allows each party to not have to respond immediately to the other party, allowing sufficient time for consideration. For example, when a man expresses his love to the woman he likes, he often expresses it through text messages and other methods, so that the other party has room for maneuver and does not make himself feel particularly embarrassed. There are many emoticons on the chat tool, which can express your feelings in a humorous and exaggerated way, making up for the lack of non-verbal information communication.

Of course, telephone communication skills can be gradually improved through exercise in the process of interpersonal communication. If making a phone call makes you so nervous that you often deliberately avoid it, seriously affecting the effectiveness of communication, then this may indicate that you have certain interpersonal communication difficulties, and you may need psychological counseling and interpersonal training.