Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Kneel for the lines of open sesame's cross talk in the Spring Festival Evening program 20 1 1! !
Kneel for the lines of open sesame's cross talk in the Spring Festival Evening program 20 1 1! !
A: Jia Ling
Bai Kainan.
A: hello, everyone. My name is Jade Girl and everyone will know that I was born Jade Girl.
Schreiber: I don't think so. I didn't see it.
Who said that? I didn't see it. Wait a minute. Look carefully, I am quiet, like Maggie Cheung, uh-huh; The way you talk, like Tong Xiangyu, my God; Laugh, like Lin Daiyu, straight; I look like Fang Shiyu, haha, ah, wow, uh-huh-(stepping on a cockroach). It's not that I want to get angry. Bad guys always make me do it. Just now, I was walking in the street and found someone taking pictures of me. Where am I from? My head is a wooden stick, and I have a splayed eyebrow. Just that little appearance, hum, once in a thousand years! I can't believe I can't find him!
Music: Hey, ha. Running all over the street, why is the pervert gone? Look up, look down, look left, look right and see where you can run!
Oh, my God.
A: Buy karma! (my gad! No matter how cunning the rabbit is, it can't hide from the big die!
B: Oh, why should I hide the big dice? What are you talking about?
A: Don't pretend. The pig is a fake mother.
B: What? !
A: pervert!
What is wrong with me?
A: What's the matter? You just took a picture of me. What do you want?
I want to put it online.
A: So direct. You are such a pervert!
B: Why am I abnormal?
A: The mobile phone is evidence! Let everyone have a look, my god, beauty, beauty, this is still beauty!
B: Is this a beauty? Is this a beauty? Is this a beauty? This eldest sister-in-law, is she a beauty?
A: You can't let this go?
B: I've photographed everything like that. Don't talk nonsense if you don't know. Look at this video. What is this? Sesame sesame, open the door.
(Enter the video)
What are you selling, sister?
A: Multifunctional kitchen knife. Come on, brother.
B: How much is it?
A: Five dollars. They don't sell for six dollars, they sell for five dollars. Where to buy, where to buy, is to buy a convenience.
Give us a discount.
A: Five dollars is not much. You can't buy a house or a car, and you can't travel to Moscow. It is convenient to use.
How do you use it? Is it convenient?
A: Lin Daiyu and Jia Baoyu can't use my kitchen knife; The Monkey King, robot cat, can't use my kitchen knife; Affectionate, rainy, multifunctional kitchen knife; Push forward and backward, as if to the guerrillas. You can tell at a glance. Just for convenience.
B: then I'll take one.
A: Brother, you have chosen. There are four brothers in our family, and the eldest is the most promising. The eldest is Zhao Benshan, the second is Zhao Benmai, and the third is Zhao Benshuai. The fourth is our home, and Zhao Ben pays for it. I can't even earn money back, so I have to do things by the book. I gave it to you with tears in my eyes. Pay first and then get the goods, so as not to make mistakes. If something goes wrong, it will be difficult to deal with. Let's go to court, go to court. If you say it's no trouble, it's just convenient.
B: I can buy you two more just for your mouth.
A: Brothers are handsome, but they are all loved. Brother is really cool. I'll send six more words.
B: Oh, I don't have time to listen. I have to go to the bathroom quickly.
Yes, it is very convenient.
(Back to reality)
Did you take this?
B: Just in time.
What exactly do you do?
I am a photographer.
A: Flattery?
B: Just take a good video with DV and upload it to the Internet.
A: I'm sweating like a pig. I'm crazy. I clap my hands. I didn't expect to meet a guest star.
B: Nemesis?
A: Now the Internet is full of "guest stars". What blog, podcast, audience, witkey, and you.
Who am I?
Shrek the monster.
I'm such an apple polisher.
A: Flattery? ! No, what are you shooting today?
B: I'm filming civilized behavior today, and I'm filming people who pick up garbage and throw it in the trash can.
A: Then you wouldn't have to sneak around just now.
I'm adjusting DV. Actually, that's what just happened.
A: ouch.
Music: Walking in the street, I found a child, squatted down, picked up cigarette butts and threw them into the garbage basket. I've been filming the intersection.
Oh, my God.
A: Buy karma!
You hit me again.
Then why are you filming me?
I just saw you pick up an orange peel and throw it in the dustbin. It feels like Yao Ming dunked the basketball into the basket. In my eyes, you suddenly became much taller.
A: Ahahahaha. Son, come out as a photographer and tell the adults. When you are a photographer, is that a broken mobile phone?
Oh, what's wrong with the phone?
What happened to the cell phone? You are equivalent to Guan Yu fighting with a kitchen knife, Qi Tiansheng smashing the board, the imperial concubine drunk and drinking a small burn in the northeast, broadcasting gymnastics and dancing with Guanyin.
You sold a kitchen knife. If a photographer wants to find something, a mobile phone is the best tool to capture it. For example, the last time I took the subway, I captured such a video. Look at this. Sesame sesame, open the door.
(Enter the video)
A: ouch. What are you doing?
B: What's the matter?
A: What's the matter? I really don't know how to play dumb. You moved me.
B: Who touched who?
Just touch me.
B: I ran into you. Are you playing mahjong? We meet?
Just you? It looks like a stick. Who is touching you?
B: If you say so, I'll touch you, whatever.
A: What? ! Not if you touch me.
B: Don't squeeze here if you are afraid of touching it. What are you squeezing here?
A: I find you a master, so out of tune. I have never seen a beautiful woman, and I want to get stuck.
2; Can I give you oil? Waste oil is better than you.
1; My gutter oil? Look at you, the whole handyman doesn't even take pictures of the mirror, and you get a fake rascal!
2; What? Please, right? Don't kick your nose and face!
1; I'm afraid of altitude sickness with your thrilling and dangerous face in the wilderness or entering the barren land.
2; Don't give it to me, Liu Er. I will fight for an ABCD for you today.
1; Don't sigh there, break the blue bridge by hook or by crook, be reckless, don't pretend to be me, don't bullshit me, don't give you some flowers, you don't even know what trembling means, get off if you can!
2; Don't go if you can!
1; I missed my stop!
1; I have seen this video. Did you shoot?
2; After I uploaded this video to the Internet, many netizens condemned their uncivilized behavior!
1; Also left a message: I'm sweaty and crazy. I despise this kind of thing and should be exposed!
2; In fact, we shoot customers, not only ugly, but also beautiful. For example, I took a video of a leukemia patient last time, and many netizens donated money after posting it online. An entrepreneur donated 3W directly. As people say, I will certify four words: sesame pat.
1; Wait, what did you say your name was?
2; Sesame pat
1; Sesame pat is you,
2; Never heard of it?
1; Why do you look like this?
2; What have I become?
1; I thought you were an environmentalist. Who knows how to grow such a low-carbon plant? ...
2; I am a grassroots, and I like to shoot trivial things around ordinary people. Does it matter what you look like?
1; Wow ~ your image in my heart suddenly rises a lot.
2; laugh
1; I also want to be a photographer, but what subject should I choose?
2; You just need to lower your perspective. In our lens, ordinary people are big stars!
1; Speaking of stars, I remember you filmed an aunt who wanted to be a star.
2; You mean the one in front of the movie studio? I also have this video. Let me show you open sesame.
1; Look at Xiaogang!
2; Director!
1; I have a gift!
2. Not a director, filming, it doesn't matter, as long as there is a lens.
1; Let me perform first.
2; My gift is that I can talk and fight.
2; I'll start with a short essay.
1: What program? I will do it.
2; I have another military question:
1; Can I go?
2; Oh ~ ~ Look at my physique. I'm sirrah ~ ~
1; I think you look like a lizard. It's time for the director to direct. The director is in the performance department. Let's perform.
2: Yes, let me enlighten you.
1; you tell me
2; For example, you get paid.
1; Clap your hands happily
2; I lost it in an instant.
1; ```````` faint
2; My son has been admitted to the university.
1; Happiness: son
2; I was expelled from my old teacher.
1; foolish
2; Zhongliuhe cuisine
1; Glad to see the lottery.
2; One number is missing.
1; foolish
2; Become a big star
1; Have fun looking around.
2; Dream period
1; A faint ``` reflects it.
2; `````
1; Are you driving me crazy?
2; Hehe'
1; The director is like this. I'll sing you an English song in my hometown minor.
2; Yo, she has CET-4.
1; A - C
2; I'm dumbfounded. I'll climax after a while (I can't sing).
1: There is a Yahoo Sei.
2; It's noisy enough. People must leave quickly. Say something quickly.
1; I think the forehead is the best for this role. Being a bitch is my strong point. I want to be a star and earn a lot of money after being a star, so that I can always start a big company. Well, this is a love struggle!
2; Look at this relationship, my feelings are dripping.
1; It's so touching
2; How's it going? As touching as a trivial matter. In fact, life is full of themes, and the theme is around you. I use my mobile phone to take pictures everywhere. . Shoot everywhere. . To ... you, you, you, you, what are you doing?
1; Hey, hey, my theme has been chosen. I want to be an evening show.
2; Yo, don't film me.
1; I want to shoot you, I want to shoot you, I want to shoot you.
2; I am a cucumber. No, if you pat me, I will sweat, sweat wildly and feel dizzy.
1; It turns out that sesame patting is also dizzy. You, you just don't have to shoot. Take it easy. Follow my beat to inspire you. Open sesame Sesame —————— (Singing)
Life is a stage everywhere. Pick up the DV together, shoot up, shoot down, shoot left, shoot right, shoot together.
1; Hide quickly
2; Hey, Lao Bi takes pictures of beautiful women! !
1; Then hurry up!
1 and 2; Open sesame sesame! Share with your friends: Renren Sina Weibo Xin Kai MSNQQ space.
help me
Answer time: 20 1 1-2-3 00:39 | Let me comment.
Respondents seeking help from TA: npjk 104 from the team | Five-level pass rate: 37%.
Professional fields: computer/network, historical topics, geography.
Activities attended:
The questioner's evaluation of the answer:
Thank you, my dear friend. I didn't expect to answer so soon (00:39). Thank you very much ! ! Give you some more.
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Open door spell
A: Jia Ling
Bai Kainan.
A: hello, everyone. My name is Jade Girl and everyone will know that I was born Jade Girl.
Schreiber: I don't think so. I didn't see it.
Who said that? I didn't see it. Wait a minute. Look carefully, I am quiet, like Maggie Cheung, uh-huh; The way you talk, like Tong Xiangyu, my God; Laugh, like Lin Daiyu, straight; I look like Fang Shiyu, haha, ah, wow, uh-huh-(stepping on a cockroach). It's not that I want to get angry. Bad guys always make me do it. Just now, I was walking in the street and found someone taking pictures of me. Where am I from? My head is a wooden stick, and I have a splayed eyebrow. Just that little appearance, hum, once in a thousand years! I can't believe I can't find him!
Music: Hey, ha. Running all over the street, why is the pervert gone? Look up, look down, look left, look right and see where you can run!
Oh, my God.
A: Buy karma! (my gad! No matter how cunning the rabbit is, it can't hide from the big die!
B: Oh, why should I hide the big dice? What are you talking about?
A: Don't pretend. The pig is a fake mother.
B: What? !
A: pervert!
What is wrong with me?
A: What's the matter? You just took a picture of me. What do you want?
I want to put it online.
A: So direct. You are such a pervert!
B: Why am I abnormal?
A: The mobile phone is evidence! Let everyone have a look, my god, beauty, beauty, this is still beauty!
B: Is this a beauty? Is this a beauty? Is this a beauty? This eldest sister-in-law, is she a beauty?
A: You can't let this go?
B: I've photographed everything like that. Don't talk nonsense if you don't know. Look at this video. What is this? Sesame sesame, open the door.
(Enter the video)
What are you selling, sister?
A: Multifunctional kitchen knife. Come on, brother.
B: How much is it?
A: Five dollars. They don't sell for six dollars, they sell for five dollars. Where to buy, where to buy, is to buy a convenience.
Give us a discount.
A: Five dollars is not much. You can't buy a house or a car, and you can't travel to Moscow. It is convenient to use.
How do you use it? Is it convenient?
A: Lin Daiyu and Jia Baoyu can't use my kitchen knife; The Monkey King, robot cat, can't use my kitchen knife; Affectionate, rainy, multifunctional kitchen knife; Push forward and backward, as if to the guerrillas. You can tell at a glance. Just for convenience.
B: then I'll take one.
A: Brother, you have chosen. There are four brothers in our family, and the eldest is the most promising. The eldest is Zhao Benshan, the second is Zhao Benmai, and the third is Zhao Benshuai. The fourth is our home, and Zhao Ben pays for it. I can't even earn money back, so I have to do things by the book. I gave it to you with tears in my eyes. Pay first and then get the goods, so as not to make mistakes. If something goes wrong, it will be difficult to deal with. Let's go to court, go to court. If you say it's no trouble, it's just convenient.
B: I can buy you two more just for your mouth.
A: Brothers are handsome, but they are all loved. Brother is really cool. I'll send six more words.
B: Oh, I don't have time to listen. I have to go to the bathroom quickly.
Yes, it is very convenient.
(Back to reality)
Did you take this?
B: Just in time.
What exactly do you do?
I am a photographer.
A: Flattery?
B: Just take a good video with DV and upload it to the Internet.
A: I'm sweating like a pig. I'm crazy. I clap my hands. I didn't expect to meet a guest star.
B: Nemesis?
A: Now the Internet is full of "guest stars". What blog, podcast, audience, witkey, and you.
Who am I?
Shrek the monster.
I'm such an apple polisher.
A: Flattery? ! No, what are you shooting today?
B: I'm filming civilized behavior today, and I'm filming people who pick up garbage and throw it in the trash can.
A: Then you wouldn't have to sneak around just now.
I'm adjusting DV. Actually, that's what just happened.
A: ouch.
Music: Walking in the street, I found a child, squatted down, picked up cigarette butts and threw them into the garbage basket. I've been filming the intersection.
Oh, my God.
A: Buy karma!
You hit me again.
Then why are you filming me?
I just saw you pick up an orange peel and throw it in the dustbin. It feels like Yao Ming dunked the basketball into the basket. In my eyes, you suddenly became much taller.
A: Ahahahaha. Son, come out as a photographer and tell the adults. When you are a photographer, is that a broken mobile phone?
Oh, what's wrong with the phone?
What happened to the cell phone? You are equivalent to Guan Yu fighting with a kitchen knife, Qi Tiansheng smashing the board, the imperial concubine drunk and drinking a small burn in the northeast, broadcasting gymnastics and dancing with Guanyin.
You sold a kitchen knife. If a photographer wants to find something, a mobile phone is the best tool to capture it. For example, the last time I took the subway, I captured such a video. Look at this. Sesame sesame, open the door.
(Enter the video)
A: ouch. What are you doing?
B: What's the matter?
A: What's the matter? I really don't know how to play dumb. You moved me.
B: Who touched who?
Just touch me.
B: I ran into you. Are you playing mahjong? We meet?
Just you? It looks like a stick. Who is touching you?
B: If you say so, I'll touch you, whatever.
A: What? ! Not if you touch me.
B: Don't squeeze here if you are afraid of touching it. What are you squeezing here?
A: I find you a master, so out of tune. I have never seen a beautiful woman, and I want to get stuck.
Respondent: Yisa brand instant noodles | Grade III | 2011-2-315:18.
Upstairs, this is not the line of open sesame in the Spring Festival Evening, but the line of the crosstalk contest.
Respondent: from 880088 | Level 4 | 201-2-316: 43.
You can watch cross talk and recite lines by yourself, because that's what I do.
Respondents: Lichuan | Level 1 | 201-2-319:16.
Open door spell
A: Jia Ling
Bai Kainan.
A: hello, everyone. My name is Jade Girl and everyone will know that I was born Jade Girl.
Schreiber: I don't think so. I didn't see it.
Who said that? I didn't see it. Wait a minute. Look carefully, I am quiet, like Maggie Cheung, uh-huh; The way you talk, like Tong Xiangyu, my God; Laugh, like Lin Daiyu, straight; I look like Fang Shiyu, haha, ah, wow, uh-huh-(stepping on a cockroach). It's not that I want to get angry. Bad guys always make me do it. Just now, I was walking in the street and found someone taking pictures of me. Where am I from? My head is a wooden stick, and I have a splayed eyebrow. Just that little appearance, hum, once in a thousand years! I can't believe I can't find him!
Music: Hey, ha. Running all over the street, why is the pervert gone? Look up, look down, look left, look right and see where you can run!
Oh, my God.
A: Buy karma! (my gad! No matter how cunning the rabbit is, it can't hide from the big die!
B: Oh, why should I hide the big dice? What are you talking about?
A: Don't pretend. The pig is a fake mother.
B: What? !
A: pervert!
What is wrong with me?
A: What's the matter? You just took a picture of me. What do you want?
I want to put it online.
A: So direct. You are such a pervert!
B: Why am I abnormal?
A: The mobile phone is evidence! Let everyone have a look, my god, beauty, beauty, this is still beauty!
B: Is this a beauty? Is this a beauty? Is this a beauty? This eldest sister-in-law, is she a beauty?
A: You can't let this go?
B: I photographed everything like that. Don't talk nonsense if you don't know. Look at this video. What is this? Sesame sesame, open the door.
(Enter the video)
What are you selling, sister?
A: Multifunctional kitchen knife. Come on, brother.
B: How much is it?
A: Five dollars. They don't sell for six dollars, they sell for five dollars. Where to buy, where to buy, is to buy a convenience.
Give us a discount.
A: Five dollars is not much. You can't buy a house or a car, and you can't travel to Moscow. It is convenient to use.
How do you use it? Is it convenient?
A: Lin Daiyu and Jia Baoyu can't use my kitchen knife; The Monkey King, robot cat, can't use my kitchen knife; Affectionate, rainy, multifunctional kitchen knife; Push forward and backward, as if to the guerrillas. You can tell at a glance. Just for convenience.
B: then I'll take one.
A: Brother, you have chosen. There are four brothers in our family, and the eldest is the most promising. The eldest is Zhao Benshan, the second is Zhao Benmai, and the third is Zhao Benshuai. The fourth is our home, and Zhao Ben pays for it. I can't even earn money back, so I have to do things by the book. I gave it to you with tears in my eyes. Pay first and then get the goods, so as not to make mistakes. If something goes wrong, it will be difficult to deal with. Let's go to court, go to court. If you say it's no trouble, it's just convenient.
B: I can buy you two more just for your mouth.
A: Brothers are handsome, but they are all loved. Brother is really cool. I'll send six more words.
B: Oh, I don't have time to listen. I have to go to the bathroom quickly.
Yes, it is very convenient.
(Back to reality)
Did you take this?
B: Just in time.
What exactly do you do?
I am a photographer.
A: Flattery?
B: Just take a good video with DV and upload it to the Internet.
A: I'm sweating like a pig. I'm crazy. I clap my hands. I didn't expect to meet a guest star.
B: Nemesis?
A: Now the Internet is full of "guest stars". What blog, podcast, audience, witkey, and you.
Who am I?
Shrek the monster.
I'm such an apple polisher.
A: Flattery? ! No, what are you shooting today?
B: I'm filming civilized behavior today, and I'm filming people who pick up garbage and throw it in the trash can.
A: Then you wouldn't have to sneak around just now.
I'm adjusting DV. Actually, that's what just happened.
A: ouch.
Music: Walking in the street, I found a child, squatted down, picked up cigarette butts and threw them into the garbage basket. I've been filming the intersection.
Oh, my God.
A: Buy karma!
You hit me again.
Then why are you filming me?
I just saw you pick up an orange peel and throw it in the dustbin. It feels like Yao Ming dunked the basketball into the basket. In my eyes, you suddenly became much taller.
A: Ahahahaha. Son, come out as a photographer and tell the adults. When you are a photographer, is that a broken mobile phone?
Oh, what's wrong with the phone?
What happened to the cell phone? You are equivalent to Guan Yu fighting with a kitchen knife, Qi Tiansheng smashing the board, the imperial concubine drunk and drinking a small burn in the northeast, broadcasting gymnastics and dancing with Guanyin.
You sold a kitchen knife. If a photographer wants to find something, a mobile phone is the best tool to capture it. For example, the last time I took the subway, I captured such a video. Look at this. Sesame sesame, open the door.
(Enter the video)
A: ouch. What are you doing?
B: What's the matter?
A: What's the matter? I really don't know how to play dumb. You moved me.
B: Who touched who?
Just touch me.
B: I ran into you. Are you playing mahjong? We meet?
Just you? It looks like a stick. Who is touching you?
B: If you say so, I'll touch you, whatever.
A: What? ! Not if you touch me.
B: Don't squeeze here if you are afraid of touching it. What are you squeezing here?
A: I find you a master, so out of tune. I have never seen a beautiful woman, and I want to get stuck.
2; Can I give you oil? Waste oil is better than you.
1; My gutter oil? Look at you, the whole handyman doesn't even take pictures of the mirror, and you get a fake rascal!
2; What? Please, right? Don't kick your nose and face!
1; I'm afraid of altitude sickness with your thrilling and dangerous face in the wilderness or entering the barren land.
2; Don't give it to me, Liu Er. I will fight for an ABCD for you today.
1; Don't sigh there, break the blue bridge by hook or by crook, be reckless, don't pretend to be me, don't bullshit me, don't give you some flowers, you don't even know what trembling means, get off if you can!
2; Don't go if you can!
1; I missed my stop!
1; I have seen this video. Did you shoot?
2; After I uploaded this video to the Internet, many netizens condemned their uncivilized behavior!
1; Also left a message: I'm sweaty and crazy. I despise this kind of thing and should be exposed!
2; In fact, we shoot customers, not only ugly, but also beautiful. For example, I took a video of a leukemia patient last time, and many netizens donated money after posting it online. An entrepreneur donated 3W directly. As people say, I will certify four words: sesame pat.
1; Wait, what did you say your name was?
2; Sesame pat
1; Sesame pat is you,
2; Never heard of it?
1; Why do you look like this?
2; What have I become?
1; I thought you were an environmentalist. Who knows how to grow such a low-carbon plant? ...
2; I am a grassroots, and I like to shoot trivial things around ordinary people. Does it matter what you look like?
1; Wow ~ your image in my heart suddenly rises a lot.
2; laugh
1; I also want to be a photographer, but what subject should I choose?
2; You just need to lower your perspective. In our lens, ordinary people are big stars!
1; Speaking of stars, I remember you filmed an aunt who wanted to be a star.
2; You mean the one in front of the movie studio? I also have this video. Let me show you open sesame.
1; Look at Xiaogang!
2; Director!
1; I have a gift!
2. Not a director, filming, it doesn't matter, as long as there is a lens.
1; Let me perform first.
2; My gift is that I can talk and fight.
2; I'll start with a short essay.
1: What program? I will do it.
2; I have another military question:
1; Can I go?
2; Oh ~ ~ Look at my physique. I'm sirrah ~ ~
1; I think you look like a lizard. It's time for the director to direct. The director is in the performance department. Let's perform.
2: Yes, let me enlighten you.
1; you tell me
2; For example, you get paid.
1; Clap your hands happily
2; I lost it in an instant.
1; ```````` faint
2; My son has been admitted to the university.
1; Happiness: son
2; I was expelled from my old teacher.
1; foolish
2; Zhongliuhe cuisine
1; Glad to see the lottery.
2; One number is missing.
1; foolish
2; Become a big star
1; Have fun looking around.
2; Dream period
1; A faint ``` reflects it.
2; `````
1; Are you driving me crazy?
2; Hehe'
1; The director is like this. I'll sing you an English song in my hometown minor.
2; Yo, she has CET-4.
1; A - C
2; I'm dumbfounded. I'll climax after a while (I can't sing).
1: There is a Yahoo Sei.
2; It's noisy enough. People must leave quickly. Say something quickly.
1; I think the forehead is the best for this role. Being a bitch is my strong point. I want to be a star and earn a lot of money after being a star, so that I can always start a big company. Well, this is a love struggle!
2; Look at this relationship, my feelings are dripping.
1; It's so touching
2; How's it going? As touching as a trivial matter. In fact, life is full of themes, and the theme is around you. I use my mobile phone to take pictures everywhere. . Shoot everywhere. . To ... you, you, you, you, what are you doing?
1; Hey, hey, my theme has been chosen. I want to be an evening show.
2; Yo, don't film me.
1; I want to shoot you, I want to shoot you, I want to shoot you.
2; I am a cucumber. No, if you pat me, I will sweat, sweat wildly and feel dizzy.
1; It turns out that sesame patting is also dizzy. You, you just don't have to shoot. Take it easy. Follow my beat to inspire you. Open sesame Sesame —————— (Singing)
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