What should I get as a birthday present?

Birthday gifts for girlfriends and boyfriends 1. When you are lonely, a pencil may be your best plaything. You can chop, chop, chop with a knife, and at the same time you can vent yourself and shout loudly: I killed the pen, I killed the pen, I killed the pen! 2, want to play with people, very simple! Just call 1 19 and report his home address! !

3. Take fish-flavored shredded pork, Mapo tofu and other mushy dishes, stir and bottle (or directly use eight-treasure porridge). When you go to a public place such as a bar (please drink eight-treasure porridge in the classroom), a person pretends that he can't drink enough and vomits, then pours out the food paste. Others quickly take out spoons and eat, enjoying themselves. Onlookers must throw up. 4. Take out the sandwich in the sandwich biscuit, coat it with toothpaste, put it in a conspicuous place, and read a book while eating the biscuit (in disguise, of course). If it is in the dormitory, someone must be fooled. In order to enhance the effect, you can send a cup of boiled water after eating to enhance the effect of foaming at the mouth. 5. After eating the chicken leg, the remaining bones are stuck in the chicken's ass for others to eat. 6. I give a trick to the boys sleeping in the dormitory: after other boys fall asleep, gently put a little toothpaste on the soles of their feet and blow it with a breeze, which will get unexpected results. But if they hit you, don't get even with me! Friendly reminder: non-friends should not imitate! ! ! 7. Is there anyone around you who likes to take advantage of petty advantages? You can carefully take out the cut tobacco of a cigarette, be careful not to break the cigarette paper, then put the pepper powder in it, arrange the cut tobacco and put it in his usual place, let him take it by himself, and leave him alone. 8. Me: Hello, I'm sorry to bother you. I didn't mean anything by it. I just want to find someone to accompany me through the last mile of my life. Telephone there: No, you didn't commit suicide on purpose (I chuckled, but fortunately she didn't know how thick-skinned I was) I: Yes, I've been carrying it on my back recently, and the money I just took from the bank was stolen; I had a good birthday, got drunk and had a fight with someone. I took a brick and swept my face over. It turns out that that man is our guide. I managed to keep a turtle, and finally I climbed into the canteen. When I found it, it had only one shell left ... (Khan, I can't tell it was a harassing phone call, I'm really worried about the future of my motherland). Then that girl kept persuading me, telling me jokes and telling me some embarrassing things about herself, which made me die! * After the first part, the next morning, we connected the phone again, but my classmate spoke to her: My classmate: Hello, I am from Heping District Public Security Bureau. Yesterday, something happened on our side. Who answered the phone after 12? Telephone: That's me. What happened? What a coincidence! Maybe the mobile phone is next to her. ) My classmate: Oh, someone committed suicide by jumping off a building here yesterday. According to his mobile phone, his last call was to you. We would like to ask, what is your relationship with him? Telephone: I don't know you? My classmate: No? I don't know. I've been calling for over half an hour? Telephone: I really don't know him. I have never met him. He said he wanted to kill himself. He dialed a random number and I enlightened him for a long time! (Listen to the voice, almost crying. ) My classmate: Oh, well, what did he say? Please repeat it. On the other end of the phone: ... Don't go out this afternoon. We'll go over at 2: 30 to get to know the situation with you, so you can have a good memory. Telephone there: My name is XXX, and I live ... The second part is over. Yesterday morning, we dialed the telephone again, and it was still my classmate. My classmate: Hello, I'm looking for a phone. Wait a minute. I only heard shouting over there, ×××, calling people! (I feel dizzy. I'm so excited to hear it's a man. It can't be a dinosaur dormitory. ) My classmate: Hello, XXX? I'm from Heping District Public Security Bureau. Yes, I talked to you on the phone yesterday. We can't go because of something temporary. You know what? Come at 3: 00! Our bureau is in ..., and we'll call Liu Duichang from the Criminal Investigation Department when we get here (I can't hear you yet, but I'm sweating). At about 2: 50 pm, we also entered the Heping District Public Security Bureau (not to see if she would come or not, but also to see what she looked like), and we saw a beautiful girl asking everywhere: Where is Liu Duichang from the Criminal Investigation Department? At 1 1: 30 in the evening, we dialed the phone again, and it was still my classmate. My classmate: Hey, I'm looking for XXX. It's me. Why is it so late? My classmate: I called you from the Public Security Bureau yesterday. Take it easy. Listen to me first. What happened? I didn't find Liu Duichang this afternoon. My classmate: The situation is a bit complicated now. We just got a call from Peace Hospital. Woman: Ah, my classmate: The Peace Hospital said that the body of the person who jumped off the building yesterday was missing. They searched for a long time, but they couldn't find it. Only your phone number written in blood was found on the wall. Girl screams: Ah ~ My classmate: Don't panic ~ ~ Please pay attention to closing the doors and windows. I am afraid that he will come to your girl, and I am too scared to speak ... My classmate said: Although we also believe in science, some problems can't be explained ~ ~ ~ That's it. There is a question ... 9. shout it to everyone in the classroom three times in English! ! The peace war has been found! ! Hehe, remember to give it to me! ! ! !