Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - After reading it, you will laugh and laugh.

After reading it, you will laugh and laugh.

1, although I can't help all beings, I can harm the whole life.

2. Some people say that I am too lazy to cramp. Actually, I'm too lazy to cramp.

It takes time to buy a mobile phone before I know that my words are so valuable.

4. Old people can't kill children, women and men.

5, there is no cow dung in the end of the world, why unrequited love.

6. After which famous family, your father is Marshal Tian Peng!

7. I didn't say you were shameless. I mean you're shameless.

You say you are my friend, but in fact, I know that animals are indeed friends of human beings.

9. Obama, do you remember Little Bin Laden by Daming Lake?

10, fart, suppress bad heart. Don't push, exercise.

1 1, Goose, cut the curve with a knife, pluck the hair and add water, light the fire and cover the pot!

12, everyone is a prisoner, and the phone number is the number.

13, the high pressure in your eyes is enough for my mobile phone for one year.

14, will you stop spinning around in my head? Aren't you tired?

15, the sky is boundless, you eat grass and I eat sugar.

16, the mountain is not high, there are immortals, there is not much water, just drink.

17, don't worry about my sense of security, you think I am a special antivirus software.

18, clear water, no fish, invincible.

19, you don't have the image of a pig, but you have the temperament of a pig

20. If there is no medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark.

2 1, your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

22. I think you are really not a qualified friend. You'd better switch to be my wife!

23. If a man doesn't help you put on a wedding dress, you can give him a cassock.

24. Learn not to be angry first, and then learn to make people angry.

25. Confucius said: In a threesome, there must be my wife. Choose a beautiful one to marry.

26. If cutting my hair means cutting my memory, will I lose my memory if I cut my hair?

27. How are you doing now? If you have a bad life, I will feel at ease.

28. Man is iron, rice is steel, and there is no soup in his bones.

29. Some people are very tender, and water comes out as soon as they pinch, but I am very timid, and I bubble when I pinch my nose.

30. Sorry, public toilets are not suitable for your gender.

Classic quotations that make you laugh.

Handsome boy, I'm eighteen or nineteen this year and I haven't found a girlfriend yet. People go to the streets hand in hand, and I hold hands with my left hand!

There are many fish in the sea. If you want to find it, don't find it at work. The quantity is small and the quality is not good!

Look at the pig opposite, look at it, look at it! Don't stare at your mobile phone in a daze. You look so strange! ? Hahaha! !

You are cool. You drink water in the reservoir, sleep in the ancient tomb, have a waterfall in your mouth, and your limbs are like sleepers. You think you are The Story Of Diu Sim Lu Bu, but you are actually from the Antarctic.

Riddle: Wedding night. Guess the five names of Water Margin ... Answer: Lin Chong, Shi Jin, Song Jiang, Ruan Xiaoer and Wu Yong.

Your underwear is almost the same as bin Laden's, and the American army has been eyeing you. For safety, please take off your clothes immediately and run naked to the mall to buy clothes!

First-class beauty across the ocean, second-class beauty in Shenzhen and Zhuhai, third-class beauty in Shanghai, fourth-class beauty waiting in the country, and fifth-class beauty sent to reform-through-labor camp!

A baby smiled at birth. Everyone wants to know why the other children are crying, but he is laughing. So the baby opened his hand with a pill in his hand and said, you want to fuck me! No way!

A doctor has been very careless and once wrote an anal speech on his medical record. The chief physician was very angry when he found out and conspicuously criticized the following bullshit.

The first part: the person I love was taken away; Bottom line: people who love me are terrible; Horizontal criticism: Life is hard.

Love is music, first love is light music, passionate love is rock music, marriage is pop music and divorce is pop music.

Dressed in a hairless Caesar, holding a wireless phone, sitting alone in Santana, people call me the boss of the Beggars' Sect.

One cup and two cups stride, three cups and four cups hold the wall, five cups and six cups hold the wall. If I don't leave, my sister will hug me after drinking a catty!

Campus version of Li Qingzhao's words: I drank too much last night, strayed into the depths of the playground, vomited, vomited, woke up countless men and women, and quickly searched for clothes and pants.

A 20-year-old man is a futures, a 30-year-old man is a hot commodity, a 40-year-old man is a spot, and a 50-year-old man is a jumper. Treasure your youth!

A thunder woke Bush up in the middle of the night and shouted, Quick, turn on the light! The bodyguard lit the candle tacitly. Looking at the heavy rain outside the window, Bush hissed, I'm in Afghanistan.

Hello, I am honored to inform you that your mobile phone number won the first prize in the prize-winning network access activity in our city. The bonus is 5 million yuan. Please take a pistol to any bank to collect it. Password: Don't move.

Excerpts from sentences about laughter _ sentences about laughter

You are the only one who can make me laugh one second and cry the next. I am a child who is easily sad. I write sad sentences every day, but you don't know that your candy can make me laugh, and you even give me a candy!

When the spring breeze is full, the whole world laughs before you. When you are sad and degenerate, only words can recognize you as a friend in the dead of night. ......

If you can make a girl laugh, you already have her-Marilyn Monroe.

Happiness is having someone around you who can make you laugh.

I want to be with you,

Have classes together and finish homework without tails together. I want to cry with you when I am sad, and I want to laugh unscrupulously when I am happy. I want to discuss my favorite stars and the most outrageous gossip with you. I want to be with you, swearing without warning before the small exam and celebrating happily before the unprecedented good results. Want to be with you, fidgety in rebellious period, laughing wildly in adolescence. I want to be with you, be sentimental at first love and sing sad songs when I am lovelorn. While everyone was still immersed in the puzzle given by Cai Kangyong, Bo Huang had already begun to deal with it. He began to laugh, which made the scene less embarrassing. Then, he calmly and calmly continued what Zheng Yuling had just said and smiled at Cai Kangyong: Actually, you are not fighting alone. I just saw a horse with you. For so long, I have only seen people riding horses, but I have never seen anyone riding horses.

The star audience was stunned for a second, and then burst into deafening laughter and applause. Andy Lau, Nick Cheung and Carina Lau, who just looked sympathetic to Bo Huang, couldn't help laughing. Andy Lau, in particular, looked around while laughing, as if eager to let everyone know how happy he was. Even Cai Kangyong himself clapped his hands with a smile. -Liu Ruijiang's "Huang Bo Yan Youdao" I always thought that you can live happily by avoiding pain, but the more you don't give your heart to others, the more you avoid anything that may bring pain, the more numb you are, and you can't be sad, but you can't laugh. You will be numb, you will lose your feeling and the ability to cry. There will always be happiness after pain, so there is no need to doubt others so much. Bold love and hate. You may get hurt, suffer and cry at night, but it's better than locking your heart and living your life without crying or laughing.

Sometimes I want to laugh, but there is no one around.

How much do you miss him and how much do you want to see him? Maybe only when Lu Han is by your side will you really laugh.

Even if Lu Han doesn't return, it doesn't matter, Lu Han. Please contact him more when you are free. Little fool, do you care about yourself the most? When you are happy,

I feel a little scared, full of joy but unable to laugh, moved by sadness but no longer shed tears. What makes me unable to believe in pure happiness? What makes me wander on the road, calmly disgusted with the melancholy in my bones? Is it unconscious pessimism that puts us in a dilemma? Today, I still often go to class alone, go to the library, and go to the playground to listen to songs and run. But I often take photos with my friends under the flower tree, watch movies and drink plum wine on weekends. We laughed like long-lost friends. -curly Wei' an "In college, loneliness is a normal state."

Every time I see them laughing or excited because of such a simple and ordinary thing, I am so moved why my heart is so calm. I have to see a lot of things before I can.

In the golden sunshine, Tan Han's black eyes looked at me quietly, and her beautiful lips slightly tilted. He is so taciturn that even if he smiles occasionally, it is only a shallow smile. He is like a man with many secrets, so he often restrains himself, unable to laugh or feel sad. But at this moment, his eyes are clearer than the ginkgo leaves in autumn, and his smile is simple but unforgettable. At this moment, all the top designs of the whole luxurious and fashionable shop are eclipsed by Tan Han's shallow smile. I just gave him two ties at random, and it was not until a long time later that I realized that Tan Han asked me how I felt. -Luo Qing fans "The other side of the starlight"

If you are having an affair with another woman, I will also have an affair with another man. If you laugh at other women, I will care too much about you. I have more waves than you. Anyway, there will be plenty of time for us to torture each other slowly.

Sometimes I can play a clown to make everyone laugh, but I am also afraid that you will treat me as a real clown!

I hope to be the one who makes you laugh.

Open the old diary and find that I have worked hard for a person, wept bitterly for a person, stayed up all night for a person, hesitated for a person, laughed for a person, worked hard for a person, waited for a person, promised for a person and embarrassed for a person.

Now, I will still work hard, I will still cry occasionally, I will still stay up all night occasionally, I will still hesitate occasionally, I will still be silly occasionally, I will still laugh, I will still work hard, I will still wait alone, I will still be flustered occasionally, I will still do something, I will still have some feelings, but for those who are remembered by some people, no matter what happens, I will not fade away from the old days. No matter what you have to face, no matter what you have to bear, life will go on, and the road ahead will still go ... The real courage is that you can still laugh and stride forward confidently and easily in the face of these heavy sorrows ...

Laugh on a sunny day.

I don't want a prince. As long as I belong to my Huai Yu, I can laugh on sunny days and make noise in the free air.

Shallow joy and deep love, companionship is the longest confession.

Silent happiness, memories are the warmest waiting. On sunny days, blowing breeze, laughing heartily. Laugh in a boat in a light year. Where the dream begins, there are you and me! Why is your face still stiff after reading so many jokes, but you just can't laugh?

Although the corners of my mouth occasionally rise, I immediately recovered my cold face after a minute or two ... (-)/Summary: People with high laughter should cherish every laugh (-) v When I wake up every day, when I am surrounded by sadness, self-pity and failure, I fight it like this:

When I am depressed, I sing loudly. When I am sad, I will laugh heartily. When I was ill, I worked harder. When I am afraid, I go forward bravely. When I feel inferior, I wear new clothes. I raise my voice when I am unhappy. When I am down and out, I want to be rich in the future. When I feel overwhelmed, I will look back on my past successes. When I am ashamed of myself, I will think about my goal. In short, today I will learn to control my emotions. -Og Mandino "The Greatest Salesman in the World" Standing in the crowd, I am unremarkable, an ordinary and ordinary me;

Living in the world, I don't play with my heart, a simple and clear me. Even if I am plain-looking, I won't please people who don't like me. I only smile in front of people who like me; Even if I am poor, I will not curry favor with people who look down on me. I just want people who value me to be proud of me. I don't want to pretend to wear a mask, so I live too tired; Red dust, I don't want to wear a decorative coat, so I am miserable. People who know you don't need to explain, and people who don't know you don't need to explain; People who know you will not give up, and those who don't know you will leave sooner or later. Being yourself wholeheartedly, even if it is not perfect, is the most beautiful. I like to laugh when I am happy, even if I lose my image; I like to cry when I am sad, even if I lose face. To be a man, what you want is the true appearance! Accustomed to being straight, but not learning to be smooth; I'm used to doing things wholeheartedly, but I can't fool you-the white melody "Famous Sentences of Brother Heng" sometimes makes me feel very unhappy, but I still force myself to grin.

I hope a group of old friends can sit down, have a glass of old wine, tell the past, make fun of each other, laugh together, lament the youth and ignorance of that year, and prove that we once had youth.

There is a girl with a ponytail in everyone's youth.

At that time, I used to walk on campus for one person. I would study hard for one person, I would laugh, and I would be silly to pay for it. It's always puzzling to think of the past now. At the beginning, the girl had married a woman, and the campus had already been demolished. It's no use reading, but paying will only take advantage. Only that smile is still there, but my mood has changed. Cherish your little luck, smile at different days, be happy for the people around you, and laugh at what you haven't missed. This is our 17-year-old sky, where you can be bohemian and daydream boldly. You can fight for your dreams, and you can live without tears and regrets.

Want to see you smile.

I want to play a joke on you. One second I hold you in my arms, and the next I blush and turn around. I'm not afraid of you crying, because you are my pride. My eyes are chasing you, and my heart is ready. I take you to see the wasteland. I always laugh on sunny days and make trouble in free air. Do you know that the only thing I want is that the world is still so small? I will accompany you to the ends of the earth, stop looking for it and grow old in a carefree corner. You know, my heart is beating with you-