How can couples be harmonious? Don't quarrel.

I suggest you go and see how couples get along in traditional culture. It is an indisputable fact that the divorce rate is high. I remember sitting with a group of friends in Haikou for the first time, and then in the process of eating, I learned that there were four women at the same table, three of whom were divorced, and one, whose child was only over one year old, was going to divorce. Dear friends, what should we do when we see such a scene? We really can't bear to see another child, because his parents divorced, which caused regret in his life. So I found an opportunity to talk about the relationship between husband and wife, hoping to turn the tide and reverse her idea of divorce. As a result, while eating, I changed the topic. I said: as long as husband and wife get along, we must keep a motto to ensure that husband and wife grow old together. Speak with confidence. As a result, my colleague's eyes immediately widened and his ears pricked up, listening to me quietly. I said: from marriage to old age, only look at each other's advantages, not their shortcomings. After I finished, the lady's brow furrowed. Have you seen her frown? Some can pinch flies to death. She said a word: Teacher Cai, it's so difficult! Dear friends, is it difficult? Is it so difficult to appreciate others, wives and husbands? I once gave a speech in Zhuhai, and just finished "only look at each other's advantages". Then the lady said, Miss Cai, there is nothing better! Then I said to this lady, I really admire you. Your husband has no merit at all. How dare you marry him? So you see, people are forgetful and emotional. I will guide them. I said you went back to the time when husband and wife fell in love. When you were in love, did you hear someone say they were in love and then say "I'm so miserable"! Really? No way! Why can "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" when you are in love? You caught the taste of this sentence! Because we all look at each other's strengths. And I always think about what I can do for him, open the newspaper and stare, which movie is particularly good, where there is a book fair, and what activities I can take my girlfriend to play with. I went to work during that time, and I saw why it was only 4: 30. How does time pass so slowly? I have dinner with my girlfriend at five o'clock. So there was only one thought at that time: what can I do for each other. This attitude is in line with what we said yesterday? Honey. Feel each other's needs with heart. Of course you will be happy when the other person treats you like this. Well, this is what I can do for each other when I am in love. When I got married, my thoughts changed as soon as the marriage certificate was stamped. What can I do for each other? After that stamp was stamped, it became "What should he do for me?" I asked everywhere. Therefore, the pressure after marriage is relatively high. Get along for a long time, there will be some friction, and slowly you don't know how to thank each other for their efforts, nor do you know how to tolerate and forgive each other. So, my friends, from where to where? From heaven to hell. So heaven and hell are not complicated, only in one thought. A man happened to meet an angel, and the angel said to him, I will take you to see heaven and hell. Do you want to see heaven or hell first? My friend said, I'll go to hell first. As a result, when I went to hell, I saw a long table, almost one meter wide, with two rows of people sitting opposite, and then both long tables were full of people, with a lot of dishes in the middle. As a result, when they started, because their chopsticks were all one meter long, who did everyone think of when they started? I thought I was hungry, so I picked up food and stuffed it into my mouth. As a result, because the chopsticks were too long, both sides in the middle fought, and then they stopped picking up. They were very angry and scolded each other. The more they swore, the more fierce they became, and the plate fell all over the floor. Where do they live? Damn it. They all blamed each other and called each other names. The man felt sad and said, I don't want to see it. I want to see heaven. As a result, the little angel took him to heaven. When he saw that the table was still a long row of tables, the chopsticks were still so long, and the dishes were still those dishes, he was puzzled and watched quietly. As a result, as soon as they shouted, everyone picked up chopsticks without hesitation. As soon as they picked up the plates, they put them in each other's mouths to help each other. There was a man who was very popular, and suddenly three people came over and said to him, slow down, I'm suffocating. So you see, when everyone is thinking of each other everywhere, you will not only be full, but also full after eating that mouthful of food. I am also very happy. This story reveals that heaven and hell are only between one thought. I happened to give a speech in Haikou countryside, which was very interesting and needed translation. Because the local people are from Hainan and speak Hainan dialect, I can't understand it, so their mayor and deputy mayor came together. Such parents are also rare. The mayor listened to what I said and then translated it to them, so all my jokes had to be bypassed before I could laugh. Just talking about the story of heaven and hell. That night, because there was a lecture in a primary school in their hometown after seven o'clock. In the evening, the mayor and deputy mayor accompanied us to dinner, and as a result, the mayor and deputy mayor kept putting food in our bowl. A teacher Li next to us immediately said: We have come to heaven! So you see, when we can all learn how to behave, we can immediately apply it to getting along with others and to our lives, and the interaction between the whole people will be very pleasant. I believe friends, you will feel very happy to eat now, because you will hear one of our classmates say, "Please enjoy your meal"; We will be very comfortable when others are polite to us. Dear friends, don't underestimate this action. Children can care about the influence of their actions on others from an early age. For example, when colleagues have dinner together today and you are full, you will leave immediately without saying a word. What impression will it give others? The person next to me said, did I offend him just now? Another colleague said: Did he quarrel with his boyfriend yesterday? Therefore, politeness is a beautiful distance between people. When we wake up, we can care about others. "Eat slowly, I'll go first", and people get along well with each other. So from the small details of life, he always knows how to treat people with courtesy. Well, after I finish this story, the most important thing is to tell you that the most important thing for couples to get along with is mentality. When we often appreciate each other's advantages, the other party will think that I should be getting better and better. So husband and wife get along, although I am not married, but I heard that my favorite is to talk about husband and wife get along. One doesn't have to experience it first, but we can learn more from others. Because I have lived in Teacher Yang's house for half a year, I often see some tips for their husband and wife to get along. I remember, no matter the teacher or the teacher, when they enter the door, they will definitely say: I am back. Whatever people in the house are busy with, it must be something. Put down what you are doing and come out: ah! Welcome home! Don't underestimate this gentle greeting. When this greeting disappears, the distance between people is getting farther and farther. Many people and their families came in. How's the head? Low, continue to read the newspaper there, without any expression. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference! Indifference is more lethal than hatred. You hate to lose your temper and scold sometimes, but feelings can still be exchanged, don't you? But if you turn a blind eye to each other's efforts, that kind of indifference will make people feel chilling. I remember one time when I was in class, it happened to be a class for my children, and some parents were listening with me. There is a child sitting in the middle and his parents sitting on both sides. It happened that I mentioned to my children that our good thoughts can make water crystallize beautifully. You tell it, "I thank you very much. I love you very much." That crystal ball is beautiful. But if you say "I hate you, I hate you", then the water is ugly. Later, we experimented with apples. One apple is in the front door and the other is in the back door. Praise the apple at the front door and scold it at the back door. What does truth depend on? Prove it yourself. As a result, a week later, it was true that the apple in front was smooth and the apple in the back had several wrinkles. As a result, a friend of mine said, here, this scolded apple is for you to eat. Do you want to eat? If you eat that one, will you swallow all these curses? Another experiment is to take white rice as an experiment, and put three bowls of white rice. One bowl is to praise it: because of you, our bodies are nourished. The second bowl is to scold it: how can you be so bad! The third bowl is to ignore it and not talk to it. As a result, after a week, the first bowl of rice was a little fermented; The second bowl of rice stinks and turns black; The third bowl stinks, even worse than the second bowl. Why? Indifference, you ignore it. So my friends, is the cold war worse or the hot war worse? The hot war is still relatively cancer-free, and the cold war is easy to get cancer, which is very hard and painful. As a result, when I talked about this, the parents of the child were sitting on both sides of him. The gentleman just looked at his wife, reached over, patted her on the shoulder and looked at her. Although I don't know what he said, I know from his eyes that he said, look, the teacher is talking about you. I squeezed a cold sweat for him on the podium and saw his wife turn around and gave him a hard stare. I thought there, I said that this man is really insensitive and lacks one track-minded. He didn't even realize why his wife had a cold war with him. In fact, women are not that difficult to get along with! I'm thinking, his wife must have paid a lot for him, and he doesn't even have a positive compliment, so this wife often sulks, which becomes more serious after a long time. Therefore, we men should remember a sentence called "a good word, willing to be a cow and a horse." Be more sure, madam. What must you do when you eat food today? How can this dish be so delicious! How can this meal be cooked so well! Your wife may say, I'll make the same for you. Eating is almost full, saying, why is it so bad? Your wife may let you go on strike for three days. So, be sure of each other everywhere. Once the head teacher walked into the door, Miss Yang came over and said, You are back. Then I saw that the master had brought some things, and I immediately went to help him with them. Then I said to her husband, I will come as soon as I come, so polite, I also brought so many things. So I said that husband and wife are harmonious and family is harmonious. What else do you want? Humor. Then remember, no matter what Mr. Wang buys back, it can't be disrespectful to the East and the West. Maybe he picked a few beautiful cups for a long time, and you immediately said, "Why did you buy a lot of useless things again?" He will feel that his enthusiasm has been poured down by a bucket of cold water. Then often because teacher Zhang's craft is particularly good, he can cook and make tea. Under my observation, it may all be praised by Teacher Yang. As soon as the tea maker drinks it, he says, how can anyone make tea so fragrant! Sometimes you cut fruit and Liu Ding. When you eat it, you will say, This willow is so sweet! Always appreciate each other, and they will feel more and more valuable and know how to help you more and more. Today, my husband washed the dishes for you on a whim. What should you do? You walk in: no matter how you wash it, you can't clean it! At this time, you should hold back your unhappiness. For example, if you have washed five or six dishes, maybe one of them is particularly clean, so take that out: You see, it's so clean that I didn't wash the dishes as clean as you did the first time. Do you think he will help you wash it next time? He will definitely help you wash it next time, because he has been affirmed. So with more tolerance and more affirmation, the relationship between husband and wife will get along well. When people get along with others, as long as you follow a good method called "four-shot method", you will get along well with others. This is the interpersonal relationship method. The first one is called giving. Now it's called treating more guests and giving more gifts. Between husband and wife, if we can send some small gifts often, my wife will think that this gentleman will think of me wherever he goes. Therefore, when we are on a business trip, we can definitely forget everything and buy a small gift for our wife. You can't buy pearls as soon as you buy them. If you buy them, it will be unbearable, and the ceremony will be light and affectionate. Today is my wife's birthday, or wedding anniversary, so I'm taking my wife to a restaurant. "You cook hard. Come on, let's eat out. " Your distraction will make her feel that the effort is worth it. The second is "love words", as we just said, words that give more affirmation and comfort to each other. Of course, this kind of "love story" is not always pleasant to hear. Love is caring for each other sincerely. We wives should be able to teach each other, so we should also give advice to our husbands' mistakes. Of course, we should also pay attention to the attitude and method of persuasion. What attitude should I take? Is there any teaching in Disciples Rules? Yes So can Disciples Rules solve the problem of husband and wife? Sure! Look at "Good Words Accumulate Virtue" and "Seeing Si Qi". Look at each other's advantages and he will be very happy. It's the same sentence, "I want to repay you, but I want to forget the resentment." You always think that my wife is hard and my husband is hard. That must be a good relationship. Teeth and tongues bite, not to mention couples, how can there be no friction? But you don't care, and "you want to forget." So, my friends, don't underestimate Disciples Rules, which can solve all kinds of problems in your life. So "love words" also include persuading each other. Let's do it again. Because people forget things easily, we often help each other remember some important things. He may suddenly feel that it's a good thing you helped me remember, otherwise I might not know how much time and money it would take. Is always thinking about how to facilitate each other, mutual benefit. For example, Mr. Wang just came back from work late today. If you want to express your feelings, turn on the light in the corridor so that he won't feel hacked when he goes home. Then write a note on the table that says: I cooked a bowl of noodles for you. It's hard. Eat before going to bed. This is also "beneficial", which makes him feel that no matter how hard he works, there are people to accompany him. Finally, "colleagues". What are the occupations of husband and wife? Family business. Run the family well and educate the next generation well, so couples can often communicate more about their children's education; This problem is actually a problem that many parents think needs to be broken through. We are telling these correct ideas to the other half, and we should not be too tough. You can't go back and say to your husband: From today on, you should teach your children to listen to me. Can we do that? No way! You can't say: I have listened to Teacher Cai's class and will listen to me in the future. If you do this, I won't dare to come again. Because I'm walking on the road, someone may come and say, are you Miss Cai? I will definitely say "I'm not" because he is already murderous. So "colleagues" should establish a correct concept of * * *. We can gradually build up a * * knowledge together through some tapes like Teacher Yang's, disciples' rules, or these tapes I mentioned.