Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Look at your face. Let's go! Plus points!

Look at your face. Let's go! Plus points!

Suksaha: Suksaha, Nala nationality, is from Zhengbaiqi, Manchuria. Father Su Na, Ye and Belle Jintai belong to the same family. Mao started his business and returned to his hometown. He ordered God to make his forehead and gave Niu Yi a real forehead. Progressive mailer was right. At the beginning of the day, Taizong conquered Jinzhou, and Belle Mang Gu 'er was too handsome to guard Tashan, and Nasutun Tashan was attacked by Ming soldiers. In three years, I attacked Chahar in Gushan town, and entered the customs, reducing the number of people by 2,000. Those who hear of surrender will change, destroy their men, capture more than 8,000 women and accuse them of reckless killing. Some Mongols fled from Chahar to the border of Ming Dynasty, and ordered Su Na to chase them with hundreds of people. They captured many. Progress, third class, first class, and first class. Hide, Ding Zhuang sit and cut his post. Looking for the truth of Gushan Mountain in Mongolia, Zhengbaiqi. At the beginning of advocating Germany, from cutting Ming, attacking Diao 'e, attacking Chang 'an Castle and attacking Changping Zhucheng, all 56 battles were successful. Break Rongcheng again. And out of the side, after the team collapsed, they were fined. From cutting Korea, breaking the Korean army and capturing its generals. Korean king went out to Korea and let Jia loose, but he also returned the favor and was fined. Want to find someone to help in prison, sit down and continue to be in charge of Lu Niu. Five years of Shunzhi, pawn.

Lu:

After the fall of Fancheng, the situation in Xiangyang became more critical. Lu sent many people to the Southern Song Dynasty court for emergency, but there were no reinforcements. Xiangyang city soldiers and civilians tore down the house for firewood, and fell into a desperate situation where they could not hold on and had no reinforcements. In February of the ninth year of Xianchun (1273), Ali Haig attacked Xiangyang from Fancheng and shelled Xiangyang Tower. The hearts of the soldiers and civilians in the city were shaken, and the general went out of the city to surrender. While attacking the city, the Yuan Army also persuaded Lu to surrender. Lu felt isolated, so he took the city and surrendered to the Yuan Dynasty, and the battle of Xiangfan was over.

Liu Bei: People say that Lu Bu is a slave with three surnames and often forget Liu Bei. Liu Bei followed Ada first, and then Gongsun Zan. Tao Qian gave him some troops, and he voted for Tao Qian. Before long, Tao Qian died inexplicably, and so did his two sons. Liu Bei's territory in Xuzhou was taken away by Lu Bu soon, and he had the cheek to take refuge under Lu Bu's door, but Lu Bu didn't trust him after all, so he destroyed Lu Bu with Cao Cao. But when he arrived in the capital, he wanted to kill Cao Cao again. Finally, he turned against Cao Cao in Xuzhou and defected to Yuan Shao after his failure. After Liu Biao died, one son surrendered to Cao Cao and the other son was in Liu Bei's hands. It is said that he died of excessive debauchery in. Zhou Yu defeated Coss and got Jingzhou, but Liu Bei had the cheek to borrow Jingzhou and refused to return it until he finally broke up. Liu Bei finally betrayed Liu Zhang, the son of his old boss Ada. The Romance of the Three Kingdoms said that he refused to seize the territory of the same clan. That's nonsense. He is very enthusiastic.

Zhuge Liang: After Liu Bei's death, Zhuge Liang drove away Li Yan, the former minister of Yizhou, and seized power. He also spoke to Liu Chan in the tone of Lao Zi lecturing his son, and made a list, asking Liu Chan to trust him. He also said that all the palaces are integrated, which means Zhuge Liang has to listen to him. It's a pity that Zhuge Liang died early, and his son was still young when he died, and he didn't have time to usurp the throne, but South Zhuge North Sima also had similar tactics.

Li Shimin: This generation of wise kings has a history of killing their brothers, robbing their fathers and usurping the throne, and taking their brother-in-law into the palace to be their own concubine. He is a cruel, easy-to-kill, lewd guy, but Emperor Taizong is good at acting. After he killed his younger brother, he cried with his nipples in his arms when he met Gaozu. It was really disgusting. He not only rewrote history, but also deliberately left a story in the history books, saying that he had no right to ask about the history books. Emperor Taizong once laughed at Qin Huang Hanwu's superstition that he was not old, and finally died because he ate the elixir and was poisoned.

Zhu: Zhu is a representative of science. He advocates "keeping justice and destroying human desires" and has high moral requirements. He also used Cheng Yichuan's theory that "starvation is a trivial matter, but dishonour is a major matter" to persuade his friend's sister to be sober, while he forced his widowed brother-in-law to occupy his deceased brother's estate. In addition, Zhu tortured Yan Rui, a prostitute, in order to retaliate against Tang who disagreed with him, in an attempt to force her to admit her relationship with Tang. As a result, Yan Rui refused Judging from this matter, the moral state of this moralist is not as good as that of a prostitute.

Harry: Harry has a daughter who is only seven years old. Harry forced her to starve to death because she ate someone else's cake. In fact, it is impossible for such a young child to commit suicide. She's really starving. Guan Zhong said: Yi Ya cooked the rice to please Qi Henggong. This kind of person is cruel to the extreme and will do anything for prosperity. Never trust him. In contrast, Harry can starve his seven-year-old daughter to death in order to maintain his reputation as an honest official. In fact, his essence and Yi Ya are birds of a feather.

Hong Xiuquan: A down-and-out scholar, he transformed himself into a cult leader and established a separatist regime that integrated politics with religion, turning the Christian doctrine into a ridiculous farce. Originally, his physical death and national destruction have proved the bankruptcy of his myth of paradise on earth, but later he was used by different people to dress him up as a spokesman for farmers and a national hero, so this person still has to carry out and expose it.

Kang Liang's political reform colluded with the Japanese and turned it into a coup. Kang Liang harmed China's national interests, made Guangxu lose the throne and killed Tan Sitong. Kang Liang is essentially a traitor and a traitor. Of course, you can say that the Qing Dynasty was ruled by ethnic minorities. However, why did Kang Liang continue to collude with the Japanese to oppose and destroy Yuan Datou after he took office?

Liang Qichao's two escapes in his life were greatly assisted by the Japanese.

In the early morning of September 2 1898, Liang Qichao and Tan Sitong suddenly heard that the Qing soldiers had raided the guild hall and Kang, the train stopped and detectives were gathering in the city. Liang Qichao knew that the general trend was not good, and after urging Tan Sitong to escape together, he fled into the Japanese embassy alone. The next few days were even more thrilling. The streets of Beijing are in chaos, and the shouts of arresting people are creepy. Liang Qichao was so scared that he didn't know when he would escape from the jaws of death. On the evening of September 22nd, Liang Qichao cut off his pigtails and put on a suit. With the help of Japanese acting ambassador to China Lin Quanzhu, he fled to the Japanese consulate in Tianjin to hide. For several days, there were spies outside the consulate, and Liang couldn't get away. On the evening of September 25th, Liang Qichao and other four people sneaked out of the consulate and boarded a Japanese ship on the Haihe River by night. Unexpectedly, the Qing court patrolled and caught up, and the ship was not allowed to sail. The Japanese on board set sail forcibly and arrived in Tanggu on the morning of 26th. Liang and his party boarded a Japanese warship. The patrolman riding on the river bank had to watch Liang escape because he didn't dare to clash with Japanese warships. Liang Qichao was relieved when the warship sailed back to Japan in the afternoon.

Liang Qichao's second flight was in the early spring of 19 16 after 18. At that time, Cai E, his student, had led the national defense army to fight against Yuan, and the battle was in a stalemate in Sichuan. Liang Qichao, who is in Shanghai, is extremely anxious. He decided to go to Guangxi to instigate the Guangxi general Lu Rongting to respond to Yunnan and announce the uprising. Japanese ears are really fast. On March 1 day, Lieutenant General Aoki, Japanese military attache in Shanghai, visited Liang Qichao. Under his arrangement, on March 4th, Liang Qichao and his party of seven people left Shanghai for the south by the mail ship Yokohama Maru of the Japan Postal Service. On March 7, the ship arrived in Hong Kong. Entrusted by the Yuan government, the British Hong Kong authorities immediately sent patrol officers to board the ship and searched it severely, but Liang Qichao escaped at the bottom of the ship. In the next two days, the Japanese military attache in Guangdong, the consul in Hong Kong, the head of the mail boat club and Mitsui Foreign Firm all went to visit Liang under the cabin, with a cordial attitude. On March 12, Liang Qichao disguised himself as a Japanese and sneaked into Miaoyi Yamamaru in a small steamer. On this shabby and dirty coal carrier, the Japanese have already arranged clean and comfortable exquisite rooms for Liang, and the food supply is particularly rich. On March 15, the ship arrived at Hongya, a coal-producing area near Haiphong, Vietnam. In order to avoid the French colonial authorities' raid, a Japanese businessman and two Japanese women had been waiting here for a long time, taking advantage of the dark night rain to cover Liang Qichao sneaking onto his yacht. Then they pretended to be sightseeing and wandered around the sea for a day and a night, and finally arrived at Haiphong on the night of 16. Hengshan hid Liang Qichao in his pasture. Here, Liang Qichao suffered from an extremely dangerous fever. Liang Qichao might have died in a foreign land if he hadn't treated Hengshan with herbs in time. Ten days later, Liang Qichao entered Guangxi through the town of Nanguan.

Judging from Japan's consistent policy after the Meiji Restoration, it is not difficult to understand the Japanese behavior. Japan has always regarded its invasion of China as the only way for its prosperity, and even dreamed of "moving its capital to Beijing". So from the Japanese point of view, no matter who, what and why, they are willing to support China as long as it can lead to division and chaos. Judging from the process that the Japanese helped Liang Qichao escape from the refugees twice, the Japanese did a solid job in realizing their "ideal goals", not just empty talk, but foresight!

Emperor Guangxu called on all officials and people in the world to write to express their opinions, and officials at all levels should not obstruct the writing. Therefore, during the Reform Movement of 1898, thousands of books were written by officials and people. We will discuss its content and function later. On September 1898, 1 1 day (the 93rd day of the political reform), a Hunan juren wrote a letter, but it was particularly noticeable.

Zeng Lian's letter is not about how to reform, nor about recommending himself as an official, but about impeaching the people and Kang Youwei. It is not cruel to impeach Kang Youwei. The most terrible thing is that Zeng Lian revealed in his letter that Kang Youwei and others had made anti-Qing remarks when they were handling the current affairs school in Hunan, and invited Emperor Guangxu to surrender Kang Youwei. What's going on here? It turned out that last year (1897), Kang Youwei and others publicized changes everywhere and set up the National Assembly to protect the country. Liang Qichao and Tan Sitong's Hunan current affairs school was one of them. Liang Qichao is the head teacher of Hunan Current Affairs School. When he was correcting students' homework, he had five such comments.

The first is to evaluate "Yangzhou Ten Days". Killing a city, killing a city, is the practice of a husband and a thief. You should read Ten Days in Yangzhou. It's really jaw-dropping. The second is to evaluate the tax revenue of the Qing Dynasty: as long as a country wants people to pay taxes and do things for the people, the people will not resent it even if they pay more. This is the scene of the west today. If the tax is light, but it is not used by the people, the people will resent it. There are three comments on the parliamentary system: Although the House of Representatives was founded in the West, in fact, through our ancient books, we can see the meaning of creating a democratic house everywhere. It's a pity that our monarch has ruled for so long that no one dares to talk about establishing a democratic system! What is a monarch and a minister? Just like opening a shop, you are the manager and I am the manager. They all work for the people. What can't be overturned? If we want to reform today, we must start from the bloodline of the emperor. We will not abolish the ceremony of bowing first, but will keep this empty ceremony. If we China people move, foreigners will laugh.

If we don't know what Liang Qichao said, we think it is the thought of Hong Xiuquan, Sun Yat-sen and others. These things, at that time, seemed to be a great sin against the court and the emperor, and the crime could not be punished. Don't think about being an official, such as Kang Youwei. Think about how to save your life. Zeng Lian's book is very long, nearly 8 thousand words. Its annex is Liang Qichao's comment on writing. This should be the most powerful attack on Kang Youwei during the Reform Movement of 1898.

Where is Liang Qichao? This man first supported Guangxu political reform with Kang Youwei, and when the political reform measures were too impatient and doomed to failure, even if Liang Qichao or Kang Youwei were the emperors in power at that time, the political reform would inevitably fail, because it offended almost the entire upper-level bureaucrats and intellectuals. It can be said that Guangxu was responsible for the failure of political reform, but Kang Liang was also to blame. Later, Liang Qichao and Kang Youwei supported the constitutional monarchy of the Qing Dynasty abroad and jointly opposed the demise of the revolutionary party. However, Liang Qichao finally changed his position. He once supported the constitutional monarchy in Qing Dynasty, but together with Cai E, he opposed Yuan Shikai's constitutional monarchy. Why? From the perspective of national interests, I can't find anything wrong with Yuan Shikai's claim to be emperor or constitutional monarchy. Why is Liang Qichao so fickle?

Chen Shidao:

Chen Shidao learned from Ceng Gong at the age of 16. At that time, Wang Anshi's political reform was in progress, and the court used scholars with knowledge of Confucian classics. Perhaps because of his low literary content, Chen Shidao withdrew from the imperial examination and never wavered in his life. Without a diploma, Chen Shidao's job search is certainly quite difficult. Teacher Ceng Gong tried to use his connections to find a civil servant for him, but the organization procedure was unsuccessful. Although Gao Qian had heard of his literary name, he tried to recommend it, but he forcibly refused.

Chen Shidao's car-scrapping has a great influence on his literary position. He admired Su Dongpo all his life, and Su Shi became the magistrate of Hangzhou. He passed by Shangqiu to see him off. As a result, he was removed from the public office of Professor Xuzhou for the crime of AWOL. Later, he was reinstated and transferred to professor Yingzhou, just as Su Dongpo was appointed as the satrap of Yingzhou and intended to accept him as a disciple. Chen Shidao refused, saying that "there has always been a fragrance, and I respect Zeng Nanfeng (that is, Ceng Gong)". In the eyes of future generations, this seems to be faithful to the word "teacher's way" in his name, while Confucius' teacher's way does not have the word "chastity". Chen Shidao didn't want to learn from Su Dongpo, probably because Su Shi was so famous that he was suspected of looking for a tree to enjoy the cool.