A collection of jokes (the funnier the better)

There is a boy standing on the bus.

In front of him sat a beautiful girl,

They both dozed off ...

Suddenly the boy gave it a drop of saliva.

Just dripping on Meimei's arm, I saw Meimei suddenly wake up!

Let's talk about it later ~ put your hands on it quickly.

Suck the juice off your arm. ...

second

Eldest brother and second child fly, and second child gets airsick and keeps vomiting. A bag is full, so the boss has to get it. When he came back,

I found that the whole plane kept vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second child said, "I think this bag is full and I'm going to throw up again."

I drank half a bag,

They all threw up. "

third place

On this day, the hotel owner is patrolling the hall. A beggar came forward and said, "Boss, give me a tooth.

Can I sign it? "The boss gave him one and sent it away.

After a while, another beggar came and asked for a toothpick. The boss thought, what's wrong with the beggar now?

Why do you want rice instead of toothpicks?

I also gave him one to send away, not too old, and another beggar came. The boss said to him

"Are you here to buy toothpicks too?"

The beggar said, "someone threw up. I came late and was eaten by the first two beggars."

All the food has been eaten, and now there is only soup left.

Can you give me a straw? "

fourth

A man and a friend went to visit his grandmother. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friend was driving.

I started eating peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friend

My friend said to my grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." My grandmother replied, "Oh! Hmm! Alas! Ever since my teeth

When all the teeth are gone, I can only suck out the chocolate. Old, cough. . .

Fifth place

One day, Big Brother and Second Brother went to the theater again and saw that they were arguing about the development of the plot in the middle.

Get up and gamble. The boss pointed to the front row of spittoons and said, "The loser needs a drink."

Things over there. "Unfortunately, the boss lost, so the boss took a sip with a frown. two people

Then bet on the following story. This time, the second child lost. I saw my second child pick up a spittoon and bang.

I took fifteen swigs. Eldest brother frightened to disgrace, admire passionate admiration, said to the second, "you!

It's amazing that you can drink fifteen mouthfuls in a row! "second shook his head," then I don't want to drink.

The sputum in this spittoon is so thick that I can't stop biting! "

Sixth

The story happened in a cold winter, when the economy was depressed, grain production was reduced and people were hungry and cold.

Beggars are no exception ... two hungry beggars A and B are looking for food together in the street. male

The child has not seen anything to eat for a long time. Suddenly, they both found a bubble of shit in the corner at the same time. male

Two people jumped up like crazy at the same time. A grabbed the shit and ate it quickly for fear of losing money.

After a while, most of the shit went down, but B didn't eat a bite since he rushed over, just dull.

Looking at A, A asked B: Why don't you eat? B didn't answer, and continued to gawk at A, who thought too much.

The more disgusting, the more I spit out all the shit I just ate, and then B rushed to A's spit.

I ate and said, I want something hot!

Seventh place

One night, a soldier got up to take a shit at night, and there was no light in our toilet.

I had a drink in the dark. When he was halfway through the answer, he found someone touching his ass, which startled him.

Even without wearing pants, he ran to the security sergeant and shouted, "An Guan! An Guan! Someone touched me in the toilet.

Ass! "

An Guan: Is there such a thing? ! Don't tell anyone. I'll take care of it. Go back to sleep first.

All right! "The next day, the security officer talked about it, and the monitor was afraid of affecting the morale of the troops and decided.

Next time this happens, let's catch ghosts together.

I haven't been haunted for a week. ......

One night, the second soldier went to the tuba again. Hardly had he squatted down when he felt someone touch him.

His ass shouted even louder this time, and the squad leaders all got up to flush the toilet, some with sticks.

There are people with brooms, and seven or eight people are around the door of the urinal. The door is full of lights.

Actually, do you want to see what's inside? Just then, a monitor opened the door and the others.

"The monitor looked in, and all the monitors were dumbfounded. They froze for about three or four seconds, only to hear the monitor say: "

XXX music! ! What the hell? Touch your ass! It's all shit! ! ! "

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