Who has funny jokes, brain teasers, don't make cold jokes

Know what I'm doing? Give you five choices: 1, miss you; 2. I miss you very much; 3. I miss you very much; 4. I miss you very much; 5. All of the above.

Department of Economic Management

Receiving this message means that you like me, deleting it means that you secretly love me, replying to the message means that you want to marry me, not replying to it means that you promise to marry me, modifying it to mean that you will be mine after death, and saving it means that you will be mine in the next life! It's up to you

meteorological department

Weather forecast: I will miss you sometimes from tonight to tomorrow morning, and then I will become a daydream in the afternoon. My mood is expected to drop by five degrees. Affected by the prolonged low pressure area, it is expected that this weather will continue until I see you.

department of history

It is said that the earliest love poem was written like this: You are from Yuanmou, Yunnan, and I am from Zhoukou, Beijing, holding your furry little hand, ah! It is love that makes us walk upright!

Department of Chinese language and Literature

Last night, I sent you a mosquito to tell you that I miss you very much and ask it to kiss you for me, because I can't get close to you now! It will tell you how much I miss you! You asked me how much I love you? Big bag represents my heart!

Advertising planning department

Personals: Male, undergraduate, only a few points away; Working in a multinational organization, KFC cleans the table; Have a house, many people own it; Have a car, not a motor vehicle; Looking for a beautiful young man * * * went to the grave, a few years later.

Biology department

If there is an afterlife, let's be a pair of little mice. Silly love, plain life, clumsy snuggling, silly together. Even if the snow closes the mountain, you can still nest in the haystack and hold your ears tightly. ...

Department of Preschool Education

A three-year-old boy took the hand of a three-year-old girl and said, "I love you." The little girl said, "Can you be responsible for my future?" The little boy said, "Of course! Because we are not one or two years old! "

A teacher with a strong accent is dictating to his students. & ltWochun >> The contents are as follows:

Wochun

When dark plum smells flowers, it hurts and hates low when lying on branches. When it smells the shore like water, it is easy to reach spring green.

The shore is green, the shore is green and the shore is dark green.

After listening, a student wrote:

I was stupid.

I have no education and my IQ is very low. Ask me who I am, donkey.

I am a donkey, I am a donkey, I am a stupid donkey.

Moreover, if you ask someone to help you read the original book "Sleeping in Spring", it will be even funnier for you to watch "I am stupid" (with that person).

The thief found ten pieces of information in the stolen wallet.

1, feel glad:

Sorry, brother, my money is in another wallet, and this one is specially used to fool you.

2, low, medium and four types:

Dear thief brother, this is a little respect for your family. I don't know if you are enough. You can spend it, but if it's not enough, I'll burn it for you when I get to Tomb-Sweeping Day.

3. Romantic and affectionate:

Buddha said that looking back 500 times in my last life brought me a passer-by in this life. Today, in the vast sea of people, you put your gentle little hand in my pocket ... I really want to say to you, "fate!" " If God gives me another chance, I really want to say three words to you, "Give it back". You add another deadline, and I'll scold you for life!

4. Formal "Request for Instructions on Returning Funds"

My financial situation is not good this year, the cash flow of wallet operation has been in deficit, the profit has been greatly reduced compared with the same period of last year, the debt ratio remains high, and there is no hope of turning losses into losses. In order to survive and develop steadily, and to appease laid-off workers, we urgently need the support of preferential policies, so we apply for the return of some paid funds. No, please instruct!

5, jingle type:

This time, your boy made a profit and I lost it, and the money will definitely be spent by you, but you won't want to have another time, because God is going to give you a thunder, and you don't want to be a thief again in your next life!

6, tear-jerking ambition is much bigger:

The villain originally lived on the edge of Suzhou. He has a house and a field at home, and his life is full of joy. He hates this little sneaky thing. He was arrogant and heartless, and he became a gang that stole my money. In order to get his money back, he had to sell himself as a slave, earn money diligently, read articles and call names to show his fame and fortune, and his enemy's heart was made up! Since then, the thief's fingerprints have been with him. I remember that this sorrow is not a day.

7. Bargaining type:

The password of the credit card is not easy to decipher. Please give me back my ID card, because it is too difficult to reissue it. I can tell you the password with multiple-choice questions.

8. Fly with me:

Honey, you steal slowly. Be careful that JC grabs your hand. Honey, you should slip away quickly, or you'll break your head in labor.

9, caring type:

It's really hard for you. You work hard, the credit card password is not easy to crack. Help yourself to the ATM.

10, enthusiastic:

It's very kind of you to put your hand into my pocket in your busy schedule. I'm flattered. I think about it day after day, and I hope you will come again next time. I'm going to cut off your hand and give it to future generations.

1, sharp turn: What inspiration did Beethoven give students? Brainstorm and answer: Reciting textbooks will be more (more).

2

Brainstorm: There is a sign on a bridge that says "Don't cross the bridge". But many people still ignore it and go on. Why do you think it is? Brainstorm answer: The name of this bridge is "No Crossing"

three

Brainstorming question: it depends on the owner to beat the dog, and what to watch when beating the tiger? Brainstorm answer: It depends on whether you have the courage.

four

Brainstorming question: when several objects of the same size and shape are side by side, is it possible that the closer you are to yourself, the smaller the object looks and the farther it is from you? Brainstorm answer: This will happen if specular reflection is used.

five

Brainstorming question: What kind of wheel just won't turn? Brainstorm answer: windmill wheels

six

Brainstorm question: There are many teeth. What is something that can bite people's hair? Brainstorming answer: hairpin

seven

Brainstorm question: What animal stays up late every day? Brainstorm answer: panda, look at its dark circles.

eight

Brainstorm question: Dan was told that her clothes had no buttons, but she didn't care. Why? Brainstorm answer: zipper

nine

Brainstorming: There are two cars driving at the same speed on two adjacent roads. Soon after, although neither car changed speed, car B suddenly began to overtake car A. Is this possible? Both roads are straight lines. Brainstorm answer: Lane A has a downhill section, which makes the distance longer.

10

Brainstorming question: What makes you gnash your teeth? Brainstorm answer: zipper

1 1

Brainstorm question: which tooth was lost at last? Brainstorm answer: dentures

12

Brainstorm question: In a zoo, when the keeper forgot to lock the cage, two lions ran away and ran around in the park. People are looking for administrators while avoiding danger, while administrators are hiding in safer places. Where is this place? Brainstorm answer: in the lion cage

13

Brainstorming problem: two people came to the river at the same time, both of them wanted to cross the river, but there was only one boat, which could only carry 1 person. Can they all cross the river? Answer: Yes, because they are on both sides of the river.

14

Brainstorm question: What says "Dad" won't touch each other, but calling "Dad" will touch you twice? Brainstorm answer: upper and lower lips

15

Brainstorm question: Who goes to see a doctor every day? Brain teaser answer: doctor

16

Brainstorming question: Why does Xiao Wang 13 need candles on his birthday? Brainstorm and answer: there was a power outage that night, and one was used for lighting.

17

Brainstorming question: What do most self-employed people live on in today's society? Brainstorm answer: mouth

18

Brainstorming: There is a master with high martial arts. On rainy days, he went out without any rainproof items, and his whole body was wet, but his hair was not wet at all. What happened? Brainstorm answer: He is a monk and has no hair.

19

Brainstorm question: What is the thing that you never eat for breakfast? Brainstorm answer: lunch and dinner

20

Brain teaser: Lao Zhang has a serious stomach trouble, but he always goes to the dentist five days a week. Why? Answer: Lao Zhang is a dentist.

2 1

Brainstorming topic: Xiao Ming's father asked someone to sit down, and Xiao Ming also found a place to sit in the same room, but Xiao Ming's father could not sit in Xiao Ming's position. Where is Xiaoming sitting and why? Answer: Xiaoming is sitting on his father's lap.

22

Brainstorm question: What are the benefits of dark skin? Brainstorm answer: not afraid of tanning

23

Brainstorming problem: Three people want to cross the road, and there is no traffic at that time, but only two people walk to one side of the sidewalk. Where's the other guy? Brainstorm answer: On the other side of the road.

24

Brainstorming problem: Three people were walking in the street with umbrellas, but they didn't get wet. Why? Brain teaser answer: because it didn't rain.

25

Brainstorming question: What would you do if your child had only one right hand? Brainstorm answer: nonsense, no one has two right hands.

26

Brain teaser: Two planes full of passengers collided in the air. Why was no one injured on the plane? Brain teaser answer: everyone on the plane is dead.

Brain teaser] What makes you more angry?

balloon

【 Brain teaser 】 People are worried if they don't break, and happy if they don't break. What is this?

World records and solving crimes

[Brain teaser] Which one can't be bought in the bookstore?

A suicide note, minister.

[Brain teaser] What is the difference between being bitten by a crocodile and being bitten by a shark?

Different tooth marks

[Brain teaser] What are the absolute similarities between husband and wife's life?

The wedding date is exactly the same.

[Brain teaser] What is the narrowest way?

Enemies are bound to meet head-on on a narrow road-one can't avoid one's own enemies (though he wants to).

[Brain teaser] What are the main reasons for divorce?

marry

[Brain teaser] What always comes, but never really comes?

tomorrow

[Brain teaser] On a dark night for a month, Xiao Li met a ghost and the ghost escaped. Why?

Met a coward

[Brain teaser] Heart-changing surgery failed. The patient sang a song to the doctor as his last words. Please guess the name of this song.

You don't know my heart

[Brain teaser] When does the clock stop?

The clock has no legs and can't walk.

[Brain teaser] Where can you really kill people?

In the game

[Brain teaser] What chicken has no wings?

frog

[Brain teaser] Who does the male barber dislike the most?

Monks, because monks don't cut their hair, hairdressers can't make money.

[Brain teaser] Polar bears eat meat. Why doesn't it eat penguins?

Because polar bears are picky eaters.

[Brainstorming] Who is the person who appears most frequently on Wangfujing Pedestrian Street in Beijing?

Chinese

[Brain teaser] Eight birds were standing in a tree, and one was shot. How many birds are left?

There was nothing left, and all the others flew away.

[Brain teaser] What's the prisoner's favorite way to die?

pretend to be dead

[Brain teaser] Which organ do thieves fear most?

There is a net on the top and a net on the bottom-surrounded by heavy.

[Brain teaser] Of the two bottles of flowers, one is a flower and the other is a paper flower. Please tell me which one is a flower?

Not that bottle of paper flowers.

[Brain teaser] Why do swallows fly to the south for the winter?

If you don't fly south, you'll freeze to death.

[Brain teaser] People don't like to eat anything.

suffer wastage

[Brain teaser] Xiaoming is only 4 years old, but he has become a "father". Is it possible?

Maybe, he will be the father of his pet.

[Brain teaser] What is the best way not to get carsick?

be on foot

[Brain teaser] Daming's English is very good, but some foreigners can't understand it. Why?

Because those who don't understand are foreigners who can't speak English.