How can you convince others? Let others do what we want willingly?

There are many people who need to be persuaded in life. They may be your parents, your boss, your customers, your friends, the examiner you apply for ... Sometimes, when someone wants to commit a crime on you, you should be fearless in times of crisis and skillfully use persuasion skills to make him put down the "butcher knife" to avoid serious consequences. In life, you may encounter the situation of persuading others at any time. If you don't master the skills, persuasion will be difficult to achieve the ideal effect. For this reason, this paper summarizes the following six persuasion skills for your reference.

First, adjust the atmosphere, so as to retreat for progress

When persuading, you should first try your best to adjust the atmosphere of the conversation. If you kindly use questions instead of orders and give people the opportunity to maintain self-esteem and honor, the atmosphere will be friendly and harmonious, and persuasion will be easy to succeed; On the other hand, if you don't respect others and show a domineering posture, then persuasion will probably fail. After all, people have self-esteem, even three-year-old children have their self-esteem, and no one wants to be easily persuaded and dominated by others.

a middle school teacher took over the work of a poor class teacher, just in time for the school to arrange students from all classes to take part in leveling the playground. The students in this class are hiding in the shade and no one will work. What the teacher says doesn't work. Later, the teacher thought of a way to retreat. He asked the students, "I know you are not afraid of work, but are all afraid of heat?" None of the students wanted to say that they were lazy, so they all said that it was really because the weather was too hot. The teacher said, "In that case, we'll wait until the sun goes down. Now we can have a good time." Students are happy when they hear it. In order to make the atmosphere more lively, the teacher also bought dozens of ice cream for everyone to relieve the heat. In the fun of talking and laughing, the students accepted the teacher's persuasion and began to work happily before the sun went down.

second, strive for sympathy, and overcome the strong with the weak

It is human nature to yearn for sympathy. If you want to convince a stronger opponent, you may wish to use this skill to win sympathy, so as to overcome the strong with the weak and achieve your goal.

There was a 15-year-old girl from a mountain area who was unfortunately abducted to Shanghai. That night, it was raining lightly, the little girl's door opened and a middle-aged Shanghai "Allah" came in. The little girl's heart beat in her throat. However, she quickly calmed down and called out tactfully, "Uncle!" Middle-aged "Allah" was stupefied, as if he had been enchanted.

The little girl said cautiously, "I can see that my uncle is a good man, and your age is about the same as my father's, but my father is much more bitter than you. He farmed in the country, and when he planted seedlings last year, he was so hot that he suffered from heatstroke ..." As she said this, tears streamed down her eyes. "Allah" blushed, and after a short silence, she said in a low voice, "Thank you, little girl." Then he opened the door and left.

In the face of the strong Allah, why not make yourself look weaker to arouse his sympathy? That's what the clever little girl did.

the word "uncle" suddenly opened the age gap between them, and made "Allah" think of his children who are also in their flower season. The seeds of sympathy began to sprout in his mind. Then the little girl lost no time to put a "good man" hat on him, and induced his psychology to be in line with the "good man" standard. The comparison between "my dad" and "Allah" further strengthens the sympathy of "Allah".

third, threats in good faith, using force to control force

Many people know that threats can enhance persuasiveness and use them from time to time. This is a skill to make the other person feel fear with well-intentioned threats, so as to achieve the purpose of persuasion. In a group activity, when everyone rushed to the hotel booked in advance, they were told that there was no hot water in the originally booked suite (with a separate bathroom) because of work mistakes that night. For this matter, the tour leader made an appointment with the hotel manager.

tour leader: I'm sorry to invite you from home so late. But everyone is covered in sweat. How can we not take a shower? Besides, we agreed to supply hot water when we made a reservation! This matter can only be solved by you.

manager: I can't help it. The boiler man has gone home. He forgot to run the water. I have asked them to open the collective bathroom. You can go and wash it.

Leader: Yes, we can all take a bath in the collective bathroom, but let's be clear, one person in the suite in 5 yuan has a separate bathroom for one night. Now, taking a bath in the collective bathroom is equivalent to lowering to the level of unified bedding, so we can only pay for it by lowering one person to 15 yuan according to the standard of unified bedding.

manager: that won't work, that won't work!

leader: there is only hot water in the bathroom of the suite.

manager: I have no choice.

leader: you have an idea!

manager: what do you suggest?

leader: you have two ways: one is to call back the boiler worker who has failed in his duty; Second, you can carry two buckets of hot water for each room. Of course, I will cooperate with you to persuade everyone to wait patiently. As a result of this negotiation, the manager sent someone to retrieve the boiler worker, and after 4 minutes, there was hot water in the bathroom of each suite.

Threats can enhance persuasiveness, but the following points should be paid attention to when using them:

First, be friendly.

second, make clear the consequences and explain the truth.

third, the threat should not be excessive, otherwise it will be self-defeating.

Fourth, eliminate prevention and make it emotional

Generally speaking, when you compete with the person you want to convince, each other will have a preventive mentality, especially in a critical moment. At this time, if you want to succeed in persuasion, you should pay attention to eliminating the defensive psychology of the other party. How to eliminate preventive psychology? Subconsciously speaking, the prevention psychology is a kind of self-defense, that is, when people regard each other as imaginary enemies, the most effective way to eliminate the prevention psychology is to give hints repeatedly, indicating that they are friends rather than enemies. This hint can be made in various ways: be caring and attentive, show concern, express willingness to help, and so on.

When a "sister" (taxi driver) sent a young man to a designated place, the other party took out a sharp knife and forced her to hand over all the money. She pretended to be afraid and gave it to the gangster 3 yuan, saying, "I earned so little today. If it's too little, I'll give you the change." Say that finish and take out 2 yuan to find pocket money. Seeing that "my sister" is so frank, the gangsters are somewhat stunned. "My sister" took the opportunity to say, "Where do you live? Let me take you home. It's so late, the family should wait. " Seeing that "your sister" was a woman and didn't resist, the gangster put the knife away and asked "your sister" to take him to the railway station. Seeing the relaxation of the atmosphere, "my sister" lost no time to inspire the gangster: "My family was originally very difficult, and I didn't have any skills. Later, I learned to drive from others and started this business. Although I don't earn much money, I have a good life. Besides, self-reliance, who can laugh at me if I am poor! " Seeing the gangster's silence, "my sister" continued: "Alas, a man's limbs are sound, and nothing can be worse than doing something. It will be ruined if he embarks on this road for a lifetime." When the train station arrived and saw the gangster getting off, "my sister" added, "Even if my money helps you, use it to do something serious, and don't do such shameful things again." The gangster who has been silent suddenly cried after listening to it, and put more than 3 yuan into his sister's hand and said, "Sister, I will never do it again if I starve to death." Say that finish, low head away. In this case, the "elder sister" typically used the skills of eliminating the defensive psychology and finally achieved the purpose of persuasion.

five, do what you like, and exchange your heart for your heart

analyzing problems from the standpoint of others can give others a feeling of thinking for them. This skill of doing what you like is often very convincing. To do this, it is very important to "know yourself and know yourself", but only know yourself first, and then you can consider the problem from the other side's standpoint.

A precision machinery factory produces a new product, and entrusts some parts to a small factory for manufacturing. When the small factory presents the semi-finished products of the parts to the general factory, all of them are not up to the requirements of the factory. Because of the urgency, the head of the general factory had to make it re-manufactured as soon as possible, but the head of the small factory thought that he was completely manufactured according to the specifications of the general factory and did not want to re-manufacture, and the two sides were deadlocked for a long time. Seeing this situation, the director of the general factory, after asking the reason, said to the person in charge of the small factory, "I think this incident is entirely caused by poor design in the company, and it has also caused you a loss. I am really sorry." Thanks to your help today, we found such shortcomings. It's just that things have to be done now, so you might as well make it more perfect, which is good for both of us. " After hearing this, the person in charge of the small factory readily agreed.

VI. Seeking agreement to make up for the shortcomings

People who are used to stubbornly refusing to be persuaded by others are often in a state of "no" psychological organization, so naturally they will show stiff expressions and postures. To deal with this kind of person, if you ask questions from the beginning, you must never break his "no" psychology. Therefore, you have to try to find the same place with the other party, first let the other party agree with your opinions that are far from the topic, so as to make them interested in your words, then try to introduce your ideas into the topic and finally get the other party's consent. There was a young man who stubbornly fell in love with a businessman's daughter, but the girl always refused to look him in the eye because he was a funny camel.

On this day, the young man found the girl and got up the courage to ask, "Do you believe that marriage is predestined?" The girl stared at the ceiling and replied, "I believe it." Then ask him, "Can you believe it?" He replied, "I heard that before every boy is born, God will tell him which girl he will marry in the future. When I was born, the future bride was already given to me. God also told me that my bride is a camel. I begged God at that time:' God, a hunchbacked woman will be a tragedy. Please give me a hunchback and leave my beauty to my bride.' "At that time, the girl looked into the young man's eyes and was disturbed by some deep memories. She reached out to him and became his most beloved wife.