Those things about the shocking mother-in-law

Today I heard a friend say how good she is to her mother-in-law, but she does not regard her as a relative at all, let alone as a daughter.

I am extremely reluctant to bring up the subject of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. It would be a lie to say that there are no conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. There are no two people in this world who are not contradictory, because we all may constantly reflect on ourselves and blame ourselves for some low-level mistakes we have made. So, don’t expect your mother-in-law to like everything. From my experience, I would like to thank her.

To put it bluntly, you can treat your mother-in-law as your biological mother, but don’t be so naive that you expect your mother-in-law to treat you as your biological daughter, especially your biological mother. Then you are really stupid. You will regret it when others mock you with your heartfelt feelings.

I have actually done this. I used to treat my mother-in-law as my biological mother and I would tell her everything. As a result, one day these words became a weapon to poke fun at me. Therefore, I also regretted it, and finally understood that it was right to be nice to my mother-in-law, but don't be so stupid as to tell her everything, as if she were my biological mother.

From the day my husband and I received our marriage certificate, I made up my mind to treat my parents-in-law as my own parents! Later, I did it, even better than my parents. For example, I said last year that since I got married, I have spent the New Year at my parents’ house every year for seven or eight years to make my parents happy. As a result, my mother-in-law said, "If your married daughter splashes water, don't think about your family affairs." As soon as I said this, I felt regretful.

Let’s put it this way, you can treat your mother-in-law as your biological mother, but don’t expect her to treat you as your biological daughter. There are good mothers-in-law, but there are also powerful mothers-in-law who are self-righteous! From ancient times to the present, there is no clear statement that a mother-in-law should treat her daughter-in-law as her biological daughter. It's all about the three virtues and how a woman should respect her in-laws. In fact, I think it is a great progress for society that we can now vent our dissatisfaction with our mother-in-law online.

I have to admit that as a daughter-in-law, it is a blessing to meet a sensible mother-in-law. However, with some mothers-in-law, if you treat her as your biological mother, she thinks you are stupid and thinks you are married off as your son. A child who does household chores. She scolded you because she was kind to you out of filial piety, thinking that she would change her attitude and be kind to you. As a result, the old people think that you are timid and easy to bully, and they still criticize you. No matter who you are, no one will give you unreasonable reprimands

To be honest, I don’t want to talk about me and me here. Mother-in-law, because I think I can solve these things, and whatever I can solve will not be a problem. But seeing so many sisters complaining about their mother-in-law’s troubles, basically blaming her mother-in-law, I think it’s useless. Apart from venting their anger, the problem basically cannot be solved.

Speaking of which, my mother-in-law is not as simple as my husband once said (I hope my husband will not have any thoughts when he sees this). I once fixed the image of my mother-in-law in my mind as a mother-in-law with a "good heart, good feelings, and good interests". But some shocking things happened later, which once again made me understand that I thought my mother-in-law was too simple, and once again proved my "if I treat my mother-in-law as my biological mother, my mother-in-law will also treat me as my biological daughter." ".

A shocking fact: Eat like a pig, eat less!

When I was pregnant, my mother-in-law repeatedly said that she didn’t want to care about my confinement period. I said it doesn't matter. I have family over or hire a nanny. Later, my parents came to take care of me after confinement. During the confinement period, my mother-in-law came with her grandson and granddaughter. I was quite happy, and I thought, well, my family is so busy. What happened next made me dumbfounded. My 7 year old grandson spends all day jumping around the house playing or watching TV. I think it’s okay if the baby and I can’t sleep. I think it's natural for children to love to play, so there's no need to worry about it.

The key is that when my mother-in-law came, I said: "Eat like a pig, eat less!" Since then, I have been drinking rice porridge instead of rice. My mom’s house can’t make it for me to eat. When my family wanted to cook meat for me, the old man immediately said: "Eat meat every day. After confinement, we all eat porridge." However, I can still eat and serve food when my husband is around. Later, my husband suddenly came home twice at noon and got very angry when he saw me eating rice there.

On the second day after I was one month old, he suddenly came home again, looked at the things on the table, lost his temper, and immediately drove to the station to buy tickets to send his parents-in-law and his family away. I don’t need to talk anymore, I deeply understand that at the critical moment, I can still see that my husband cares about me.

Ren Lei Incident 2: Breast milk is not as good as milk.

When the child was five months old, I went to work, and my husband asked my mother-in-law to help take care of the child for a few months. Now my image in the eyes of my mother-in-law has completely changed. My mother-in-law praised me for being good-tempered and sensible. That is, before I was pregnant, my mother-in-law came to my house, and I hung out with her, bought her things, and did housework.

After having a child, I will go to work during the day and take care of the child at night. I will definitely not be able to do any housework like before. Now my mother-in-law started to feel that I didn't like it: first she asked me why I wanted to give my baby breast milk, saying that breast milk was not as good as cow's milk, and asked me to wean my baby many times, but I firmly refused. Later, my mother-in-law became anxious and asked me to wean the baby quickly and let her take it away.

I just figured it out. People don’t think breast milk is bad, and they don’t think this place is lively. Moreover, my mother-in-law loves to play mahjong and likes to play a few games when she has nothing to do. I had to give up this hobby and take care of the children at our house. Later, in order to appease my mother-in-law, my husband and I came home from get off work early and ran a few laps with her with our children in our arms, and the old man's mood improved slightly.

Ren Lei Incident 3: Women doing housework.

My mother-in-law got mad at me because I didn’t hand wash my husband’s clothes in time. The old man said that my husband's clothes must be changed and washed immediately, and they must be washed by hand. I said I was too tired from work and wanted to wash them together on weekends. My mother-in-law said no, my husband's clothes and mine should be hand washed separately. I was completely dizzy. My mother-in-law told me sternly more than once: 'It's useless no matter how much a woman studies, she just does housework, serves her husband, and serves her family! ". So far, as long as my mother-in-law is at my house, my husband and I wash clothes by hand.

Ren Lei Incident 4: You count on my son for everything!

While my mother-in-law is at my house, Although I tried hard to keep her from being angry, I tried to coax her, bought her things, and took her on trips, but my mother-in-law still insisted on leaving. Later, when the child was nine months old, she left with peace of mind, and I hired a nanny. I went home and took care of the baby by myself, but I felt it was great not to look at others or please others.

And the baby was extremely healthy during the nearly one year he was with me. I am not sick, my personality is much more cheerful, and I am much more independent than other children of the same age. But something happened that made me very uncomfortable. After I took care of my child, I still called my grandparents every week to say hello. Grandma said over and over again that she missed her grandson so much that many fathers believed her, and so did I. After my grandma repeatedly urged me, I happily took the child back to my grandparents’ house. As a result, my husband left soon. Oh my God, my mother-in-law said to me contemptuously in front of the whole family (my wife’s brother and sister-in-law) because of a trivial matter: “I knew it was you as soon as I saw it.

That feeling is really embarrassing. At least when I work, I earn several thousand yuan a month and don’t let anyone keep it. I do most of the housework at home. After returning home to be a full-time mother, my husband never washes the dishes and wipes them once. Thinking about it now, I really admire my good temper at that time. I didn't argue with her. I just went to another room to cry alone, and spent the rest of the day cooking and washing dishes at my in-laws' house. Mother-in-law, you can still say whatever you want to me. Basically you won't consider your own feelings or whether what she said is unreasonable.

Ren Lei Incident 5: I hope your parents are alone together so you can save s

After my mother-in-law accused me of "counting on my son for everything", I made up my mind to go back While working, my husband asked his parents to help take care of the children. Some people may say: Why didn't you ask your parents to see your children earlier? Why is it that because my own mother died a few years ago, my mother is now the partner my father wants to spend his final years with? Besides, my aunt has her own grandson to take care of, and she doesn’t want to cause any more trouble to her father.

However, the difference between parents and mother-in-law can be seen in raising children. My own father couldn't sit still after I quit my job and went home to take care of the kids, but I always refused to allow them to come over. After my mother-in-law accused me of "depending on my son for everything," my husband called my parents over.

After my father and aunt arranged their family affairs, they came after the Spring Festival. As soon as my mother-in-law heard that my parents were coming, she immediately said to me: "Just ask them to come alone. If one more person comes, they will have to eat more!" I was completely dizzy!

Her mother-in-law is much more than that. For example, her ambiguous relationship with her grandmother, whose husband is still alive, is enough to stage a wonderful modern family drama.

Now my child is in kindergarten and I am at work. My husband asks my mother-in-law to pick up and drop off the child. As a result, many scenes reappeared. The child has not been sick for more than a year, but after being here for three months, he was hospitalized for a minor illness. My mother-in-law complained that it was our fault. Then I pretended to be deaf and dumb, and did what I had to do, and did my own thing.

Fortunately, my husband can see things for himself now. He will tell her whatever her mother-in-law says, and even quarrel with her about her mother (but I think my husband will never quarrel with her mother again, that is) For the sake of her mother, I told him afterwards), and my husband decided that after my mother-in-law returns home during the Spring Festival, our parents-in-law will no longer interfere with our small family affairs, and she will hire a nanny to take care of the children.

My mother-in-law is still instilling in me the ideas of "a married daughter throws away water", "women do housework and serve the family", and "have less to do with family members". I tried to communicate with my mother-in-law more than once. As a result, the old man's words can choke you to death and make you depressed.

I went through all kinds of hardships with my mother-in-law. I'm not afraid of her, but I respect her as an elder, my husband's mother, and my child's grandmother. I am too lazy to complain to my husband about various things with my mother-in-law. I don't want my son to complain about his mother. Resentment between mother and son is a terrible thing. I don’t want my husband to regret it all the time.

As for me, whatever I say to my mother-in-law goes in one ear and out the other, and I have gotten to the point where it doesn’t matter. I was too lazy to argue with her, which also made her very hurt: my mother-in-law is petty and can get angry and sick if something goes wrong. So I don't want to mess with her because I'm really afraid that if I accidentally make her angry, I'll be totally wrong.

In my opinion, respecting the elderly and loving the young is what we should do, and it can be regarded as setting an example for our children. But if you are unfortunate enough to meet a powerful mother-in-law as your wife, you will be smarter. As a smart woman, you should try to avoid conflicts with your mother-in-law. Please remember to keep your mouth shut, don't let yourself be hurt unnecessarily, hide when you can, and try to avoid direct conflicts. No need to argue or drag your husband into a dilemma. After all, your mother-in-law is the elder and has no merit or hard work.

So, regarding the issue of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, sisters, please adjust your behavior and mentality first. Even if you treat her better than your own mother, don't expect your mother-in-law to treat you as your biological daughter, let alone become your enemy. After all, she is her husband’s mother and the child’s grandmother. Unless you really don’t care about all the consequences, including a successful divorce!

If you have done well enough and your mother-in-law is still picky, let her go. She has no grace, we must be graceful and cultivated.

If you really don’t do well enough, don’t blame your mother-in-law for finding fault with you.

No one is perfect, and it is still necessary for a daughter-in-law to adjust herself. Unless you have enough word of mouth, patience and tolerance, it will be difficult to change anyone! I believe that it is much easier to adjust your own mentality and way of doing things than to try to change your mother-in-law. What's more, those daughters-in-law who try to change their mother-in-law's concepts and attitudes basically end in failure, including myself.

From another perspective, I am grateful to my mother-in-law for her help. She always criticizes or will criticize me, which makes me more mature and allows me to improve myself from the depth of my thoughts. I believe that people can bully things but not nature!

Give yourself a suggestion and reminder:——

As a wife and daughter-in-law, do your duty first;

As a mother, always pay attention to giving Children set a good example!