What moments in the first year after giving birth made you collapse?

1 Less than two hours after leaving the delivery room, I was too weak to move and was lying down. At this time, my mother-in-law suddenly raised her voice and said to my husband: "Son, look at the girl in the next bed. She has just given birth. Look, she even got out of bed to exercise by herself! Look at her, she is not squeamish at all!" "Then he turned to me and said, "I think your pain is caused by your own psychology. What a big deal, it makes you sick and unpleasant."

2 I didn’t know how to breastfeed my baby because I had no experience. My mother-in-law muttered next to me as if she were watching a joke: “Humph, what have these people who have gone to college learned? They don’t even know this kind of natural ability of women!”

3 On the tenth day of confinement, my sister-in-law’s son caught the flu. It was very serious and he was receiving infusions. My sister-in-law called her mother-in-law and said that she couldn’t get used to living in her mother-in-law’s house for two days. She didn’t know if her son had the flu. Infect others. My mother-in-law immediately raised her voice and looked at me and called me back: "This is your home. Who dares to say no when you and Dabao come back? I won't be done with him. Besides, we are not afraid of being infected. Even if it is infected to someone, it is not Deliberately, I can't blame anyone." Sure enough, after her daughter and son came back, my child also fell ill, with the same symptoms as her nephew.

During my confinement in April, I didn’t have enough to eat. When I saw no one at home, I got up and cooked a bowl of noodles and added two eggs. I cried while eating, and I had the urge to take the child away.

5 Because I couldn’t stand my mother-in-law, I had a big quarrel with my husband. My husband said: “My mother doesn’t owe you anything. Even if you only drank a bowl of water from her, it was a favor. You should be grateful.” She didn't complain to me behind my back!"

6 The milk was not enough and the baby had to feed every half hour. The more anxious I became, the less milk I had and started crying. Because I was afraid that the whole family would hear and accuse me, I closed the door, hid under the quilt, covered my mouth with my hands, and cried so hard that I was trembling, showing symptoms of postpartum depression.

There are many, many more...

What I want to say is that the first year after giving birth was the year when I really fell from heaven to hell.

During this year, I thought about death a lot. But I can’t let go of my children, and I can’t let go of my biological parents. For them, no matter how difficult it is, I will grit my teeth and persist in living.

Nowadays, if you ask people around me to evaluate me, many people will say that I have a good temper, I am gentle to others, etc. However, what I want to tell you is that those injuries will always be like a thorn. My husband will not even know the great psychological changes I have undergone this year.

Now that I have a formal job, I am much stronger than before. Although their attitudes have changed, they can never make up for the trauma they have caused me!

The first year after giving birth was really the hardest year.

When giving birth, the pain is like torture. If you have a normal delivery, it's fine. If you have a difficult delivery, the baby will take a long time to come out of your belly. The feeling is really indescribable. It’s late at night, the doctors and nurses have gone to bed, leaving you alone in the delivery room, tying you to the delivery bed, and you are all alone in the silent night. The person was torturing in that dark room. The extreme pain, fear, and helplessness made you feel like you were being tied to a death rack. You are waiting for death to come. That feeling of dying makes you fearful, trembling, desperate, and on the verge of crying. You keep shouting in your heart: Someone come and save me. Someone, come on, help me get the baby out of my belly. , but no one cares about you.

During the confinement period, you have to endure the pain of caesarean section and the incision, get up over and over again, change the baby's diaper, and feed the baby. From a man who can walk free. Suddenly imprisoned by a baby that cries day and night. That kind of helplessness, that kind of anxiety of losing freedom, that kind of torture of not being able to sleep every night, like torture, you must stay by her side every step of the way. On a cold winter night, you couldn't even sleep for an hour. Even though you were so sleepy that you were going crazy, you still had to get up to feed him. Change the diaper and re-wrap it.

Babies have colic, so they cry for no apparent reason from time to time.

When you are young, you don't understand, your heart immediately tightens, and you lift it up. Even if you are yawning in a deep sleep, you still have to get up, pick up the child, and pat it, in the dark night , put on clothes, hold the baby, and walk around on the ground. A three- or four-month-old baby weighs more than 10 pounds. If you carry him for two or three hours, your arms will be sore. You can't help it. You have to endure it. , after having a child, the most important words in a woman’s life are patience, patience, and patience. In the first year after giving birth, you no longer have yourself. You are totally kidnapped by this baby.

In front of such a weak baby, you will be on tenterhooks all day and night, afraid that he will get sick, afraid that he will die, afraid that you will crush him if you turn over. That kind of cautiousness, that kind of trembling, walking on thin ice. The torment makes you unable to eat well, sleep poorly, and is highly stressed. It turns you from a girl who loves beauty, cleanliness, and beauty, and flies around like a butterfly every day, into a girl with unkempt hair all day long. People who are slovenly, drowsy, and busy talking live like humans, ghosts or ghosts.

After giving birth to a child, I don’t know what the physiological reason is. Women can become very silly. There is a very popular term in the medical community right now: it’s called, giving birth to a child makes you stupid for three years. Think about it now. That's really it. Thinking about it at that time, I was really stupid. Live like a mentally retarded, mentally retarded person.

Now, it's all over. Become a cloud of the past.

The person who devastated me the most one year after giving birth was my mother-in-law! ! I was giving birth to my second child, and I thought that my mother-in-law didn’t take care of me during the first child’s pregnancy, so this child would no longer be interested in her. I was so cruel that I hired a confinement nanny to take care of me and my children. Because my husband is away on business, he just wants my mother-in-law to keep an eye on him. I gave birth to my baby on January 7, 2020. On the third day in the hospital, my mother-in-law and confinement nanny caught a cold because of a one-time delivery and didn’t sleep. As a result, they went home the next day and took me He and the child threw it to the confinement nanny. I was really angry, helpless, overwhelmed, and collapsed until I was discharged from the hospital. The confinement nanny was hired during the day. I originally planned to ask my mother-in-law to come in the evening, but it turned out that my mother-in-law had to stay at home for half a month because of the cold. My husband took care of her at night. She was also busy with business during the day, and she only showed up when the child delivered red eggs. One day she came to take charge of our family. I'm really in constant trouble. I'm almost one month old in a week. Unfortunately, due to the new coronavirus epidemic, the confinement nanny can't come. I want to finish confinement safely and take good care of my body. It also came to naught. No wonder people say that you can’t plan anything because you can’t keep up with the changes. My husband called my mother-in-law to take care of her after the confinement, but my mother-in-law cried to both of us that afternoon, saying that she wanted to cry for some reason but was willing to stay here, haha...? What's the reason? I couldn't bear her crying, so I said you should go home! Well, they left, and I was miserable too. I hugged the child when he cried, and took care of him when he peed. There is also our poor eldest son, who has not taken care of him since he gave birth. Thanks to my confinement nanny some time ago. take care of. How sad! After the confinement period, my feet were no longer good. They hurt when I walked. I went to the doctor and said that I had insufficient qi and blood. I need to replenish qi and blood... ugh! I really didn’t have time to think about it, so I put on the plaster first. After a week of applying it, my whole foot was covered with small red rashes. People said that you were allergic and couldn’t apply it anymore. I had no choice but to keep it painful for three months. Three months later, a friend introduced me to a massage therapist who told me that the meridians in my body were severely blocked and blocked everywhere. After three courses of physical therapy, my feet were relieved. Breakdowns happened one after another. When I was three and a half months old, my daughter had diarrhea. She had diarrhea every time she drank milk. When she went to the hospital, she was told that she was lactose intolerant and that she could no longer take breast milk or add lactase. We bought lactose-free milk. I bought milk powder, but the child refused to eat it, which made me anxious and stamping my feet every day. When that didn't work, we bought lactase enzyme and gave her lactase enzyme before every feeding. As a result, we lasted like this for a month and a half. It was better when complementary food was added at five months. The difficulty of having a second child is that both children have to be taken care of. My eldest son started school in May, but due to the epidemic, the care was not open.

One of the problems I faced was that I had to take him to and from school every day. No matter how much ambition I had, I couldn't grow any more. My husband had to go to work to make money, and the second child was too young to sleep for a while. So I had to find my mother-in-law and ask her to watch over him. I cook, clean, and take the eldest son to and from school. I think I am good at everything. After I came here, I didn’t care about the past. When the meal was ready, I put it on the table. Let my mother-in-law do it first. Eat, I take care of the kids during the lunch break, and let my mother-in-law take a lunch break. I can do other things if she wants to, but she won’t do them if she doesn’t want to. What makes me collapse the most is that my boss’s studies have plummeted. I’ll take care of it, and my mother-in-law will be there to protect the calf. , saying something bad about me, my son is particularly disobedient when he has support, I think about it sometimes. What a life it was. But what can I do except endure it! Finally, in the second half of the year, my daughter is a little older, and I can solve things by myself. I don’t want to live like this anymore. Thinking about it, I have been depressed, tense and anxious this year, and sometimes I feel like crying. Fortunately, I have two spiritual pillars, and I finally got over it. I also learned that I have to rely on myself when encountering difficulties, and I also learned that perseverance is victory! ! !

My baby is still 13 months old, and there are indeed many moments of collapse within a year after giving birth. I even stood at the window a few times and almost wanted to jump out. I felt that my life was in chaos and I felt a sense of powerlessness that I had never experienced before. But fortunately, after adjustments, I am now in a normal state and I am still full of hope for life. Postpartum collapse moment

1. Breast blockage: Concerning milk blockage, I believe that breastfeeding mothers must have had this experience. Because my baby often breaks the nipple, causing inflammation, and eventually Blocking breasts. If you encounter this kind of situation usually, it's better to find a lactation specialist to deal with it. However, the epidemic broke out after the Chinese New Year, and all shops were not allowed to open. During this period, I had breast congestion and developed a fever. My whole chest hurt to death, but I couldn't find a lactation specialist or a doctor. I could only give her some anti-inflammatory drugs and not let her breast milk pass, but I didn't dare to eat because I was breastfeeding. I couldn't get milk to come out no matter what I tried at home. In those days, I was really depressed and couldn't find anyone to solve the problem even if I had money. Fortunately, a familiar breast-feeding practitioner later helped me solve this problem after knowing that both of us had not left Wuxi and it was relatively safe. I am really grateful!

2. Lack of sleep: In the first half year after the child was born, because she had to breastfeed and take care of the baby at night, she had to drink milk every three hours, plus changing diapers, so she had no time to sleep at night. . After the maternity leave, I still have to work during the day and take care of the baby at night. Although my husband and mother-in-law help, feeding and expressing milk still have to be carried out on time. During that time, I was severely sleep deprived, and I felt groggy throughout the day. Moreover, due to poor Qi and blood, I feel chest tightness and palpitations at night, unable to sleep, unable to fall asleep even if I want to, and unable to fall asleep even when I can. It is really uncomfortable. I wish I could wean off the milk immediately and have a good sleep.

3. The child has flatulence: The child had flatulence for a period of time when he was nearly 2 months old. At night, he kept crying and refused to sleep. He had to be held by others, and he kept running away while holding him. Only in this pattern can I sleep for a while, and then wake up again and cry soon after. During that time at night, my husband held the baby until his legs were sore. I listened to the baby crying but could not suffer for her. I felt really uncomfortable and wanted to die. Fortunately, after about ten days, this stage of the baby passed. , I was relieved.

4. Forced to take care of the baby full-time: The child does not eat solid food when he is about eight months old. The mother-in-law has no time to make solid food when she is raising the baby alone. It hasn't increased at all. Later, after discussing with my husband, I decided to let me stay home to take care of my baby full-time. I don’t know when this full-time job will end. She has to make five meals a day of baby food and adult meals, plus various housework, which makes her very tired. I used to be a very hard-working person in the workplace. Taking care of my children full-time made me feel as if I had become worthless, which was extremely unacceptable. I lost my temper with my husband several times and said that I had to go to work and I would not care who the children loved. But After losing your temper, you still have to do it. At that time, people were really broken. Fortunately, they have adjusted now. In short, there have been many moments over the past year where I was very broken, very painful, and wanted to escape and give up. But as a mother, you must be responsible and responsible. After the coordination and efforts with your husband, everything is going smoothly now, and I feel that I am still relatively good!

My two children are already older, one is 7 years old and the other is 5 years old. Looking back on the first year after giving birth, the most devastating thing for Dabao was her love for night feeding; Difference.

My eldest child especially likes night milk. He drinks night milk until eight days a week, especially in winter. When he is sleeping soundly, he gets up to make milk and it is almost ruined. Besides, I was still pregnant with my little one at that time. Anyone who has had the same experience can understand this feeling.

Some people will definitely ask: Why don’t you ask Dad to get up and take a bath? You know, when a pig goes to bed at night, he not only snores, but also sleeps deeply. It has nothing to do with the baby crying, just like we live in a different time and space. At that time, he was not a good father, so it is normal to behave like this.

After giving birth to my baby, I suffered from serious sequelae of caesarean section, namely scarred diverticula, which kept bleeding irregularly. In the past 4-5 years, my physical condition has deteriorated, and I often catch colds. It only lasted for more than ten days. Fortunately, I was optimistic about it this time, so if there is any problem, treat it in time. Don’t delay like me.

The first year after giving birth was the year when Ran’s mother made a firm decision not to have a second child.

Ran’s mother gave birth naturally for a day and night and then had a caesarean section. The offence she suffered was beyond description. But when my mother was suffering alone in the delivery room, my mother-in-law said outside the delivery room that waiting was too boring, and asked her son and my husband to go shopping with her...

Waiting until she was discharged from the hospital When I got home, everyone knew that confinement meals should not contain heavy oil, but the oil would float in my dishes. Because my mother-in-law said that this is how she cooks, it was only after my relatives came over to cook for me that I could eat something light.

After confinement, I will take care of the child by myself. My husband said that he felt that the child was noisy at night and affected his sleep, so he moved to the study room to sleep... For the next hundreds of nights, he spent the next few hundred nights with the child alone. My father seemed to have forgotten that my mother also had to sleep during the day. At work!

The first time the child got sick was thrush, and he cried whenever he was fed. However, the family members actually said that it was the mother’s fault that made the child uncomfortable, and they said a lot. After I checked around myself, I looked at the child's mouth and found something growing inside. I hurriedly took the child to the hospital, but the group of people didn't care what they were bringing the child to the hospital for.

Anyway, things like this seem to be in the past now, but they are all thorns in my heart and will never be forgotten. Maybe it’s not a collapse, but it’s just that you understand that you can only rely on yourself in this world, and you can’t rely on anyone!

Her own daughter will also tell her that it is not easy to be a woman, and it is even more difficult to be a mother. You must be prepared before making a choice. Maybe you don’t choose, and I won’t blame you!

It is not easy for mothers all over the world. I hope that all mothers can be healthy and safe, and that the children can grow up healthy and happy!

The first year after giving birth is indeed the most difficult year for mothers, and I feel this deeply.

There are just a few reasons:

1. Role change

Before giving birth to a child, I could also be said to be a child, and I could do whatever I wanted, without any trace. bondage. But after giving birth to a child, everything I do is focused on the child, and I have no private time at all. This kind of role change is particularly uncomfortable for many new mothers, who don't know how to take care of their children.

My most intuitive feeling when taking care of children is that my body will be very tired. My child wakes up four or five times a night, and my sleep is constantly interrupted. Before I had a baby, I went to bed on time at 10 o'clock every night and slept until 7 o'clock the next day. After giving birth to a baby, I suffered from severe lack of sleep and my entire mental state was confused. But every time I see the baby's cute appearance, I feel more happy than in pain, and I have survived the most difficult year like this.

2. No one takes care of you during confinement

Giving birth is a very hard thing. Not recovered yet. If you are raising a child alone, you have to take care of the baby's food, drink, toilet, and sleep. You often feel that it is not enough. Your body has not recovered, and the baby needs to be taken care of. One person is like two people. Being too tired during confinement can easily lead to disease.

I am relatively lucky. My mother and mother-in-law took care of me during the confinement period. But two mothers will also have some conflicts when they are together, so if sisters try to make arrangements after giving birth, let one of them take the lead, or take turns to take care of them, this will reduce a lot of conflicts.

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3. The figure is out of shape

Before giving birth to a child, the figure was forward and backward; after giving birth, the weight cannot be reduced. For ordinary people, after giving birth to a child, they have to take care of the child and take care of the family. There is no time to lose weight, and it is difficult to return to the shape they had before giving birth.

During the confinement period, I was also afraid of gaining serious weight, so I controlled my diet and asked my mother-in-law to seriously stop me. As a result, I gained 10 pounds after the confinement period. Now the child is 7 years old and has lost weight. Sisters, do not lose weight during confinement. You must consider losing weight after your body recovers.

4. Conflict between husband and wife

After having a child, the world between two people is hopeless. Your focus may be on your baby, and you may care about your baby all the time, but you may care less about your husband. When I take care of my children, I complain that my husband doesn’t help me take care of my children, or he wants to help me but fails to do enough. As time went by, conflicts between husband and wife also appeared.

I also have this problem. We live with my children at my mother-in-law's house. If my husband does something, my mother-in-law will say that he can't do it and do everything for him. I don’t think she should take over the role of the baby’s father, so I talked to my husband about it. Later, he would take the initiative to do the baby’s laundry, and the conflicts gradually disappeared.

Mothers must have their own feelings about the difficult experience in the first year after giving birth. But for mothers who have not yet experienced it, they must adjust their mentality in the first year after giving birth and stay calm when encountering difficulties. If you have any problems, you should communicate with your husband. When you need help, you must speak directly and gradually find the correct solution.

That was 10 years ago, but the memory is still fresh because those moments of collapse are so unforgettable.

The first biggest difficulty is breastfeeding: The child is a newborn, and I am also a new mother. I don’t know how to breastfeed at all. My mother was not around when the child was born, and my mother-in-law took care of me. Except for the few times we got along when we got married, God, he is basically the most familiar stranger. As an introvert, I am embarrassed to ask these questions. I had a caesarean section, and the wound hurt all night. I cried all night. When I was about to start breastfeeding the next day, I thought it would be enough to undress my son who was waiting to be fed. However, the child was too lazy to take the bottle and was unwilling to be wrapped. He was so hungry. I kept crying and was so anxious that I was sweating all over my face. I had no choice but to practice while watching Baidu. I was worried about feeding the milk. I was tired.

The second biggest difficulty is feeding a child with teeth: My son must have been calcium deficient at that time. His teeth started to sprout after more than three months, and the teeth that just came out are as sharp as knives. , they will make an incision for you as soon as you feed, and the milk mixed with blood will be eaten in. It hurts terribly at first, and becomes numb as you eat. But he eats frequently, only once every two or three hours. It hurts every time I eat it, and the wound will open again before it can heal. Every time I breastfeed, I have to make a lot of determination and muster up a lot of courage. My mother-in-law is still supervising me. Oh my grandson, she screams when she can't take the milk. You are so angry that you really want to whip her, but that is... The old man could only hide aside helplessly, it hurt.

The third biggest difficulty is night feeding: the child is less than half a year old and the maternity leave expires. I wanted to wean the child, but the old man was very superstitious and said that the more milk he had, the better it would be for the child. No matter what he said, he wouldn't listen, and he just didn't agree with weaning. After some hard talk, I agreed to feed her until she was 1 year old, because the unit had breastfeeding leave before she turned 1 year old. It's fine during the day, but miserable at night. It's fine in the summer, but unbearably cold in the winter. I should hold and feed the baby. The baby is too young and I am afraid of crushing him when he falls asleep. However, if he sleeps too much during the day, he will wake up two or three times and fall asleep with his clothes lifted up while he is being fed. My back was cold and my waist was so painful that I couldn't straighten up the next day. Moreover, I don’t sleep well at night, I’m not energetic during the day, my mind often goes blank, and I forget what I want to say as I talk. It’s silly.

Breast obstruction, engorgement, depression, out of shape, husband and wife quarrels, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems, children refusing to sleep, getting sick, crying, every moment of collapse I feel like I am alive If I can’t go on anymore, I want to cry when the child cries. Fortunately, all the past is just a prologue, and all the future is promising.

Life is beautiful. After you have experienced it and endured it, all the collapses have meaning. Looking at the cute child, you have to be strong, because when he goes to elementary school...more The collapse is ahead, cherish the moment!

The most devastating point was 5 points, and I almost couldn’t resist it!

A caesarean section in January 2020 caused severe postpartum physical imbalance due to excessive postpartum bleeding!

From the initial feeling of weakness all over the body, to the final feeling of chest tightness and suffocation! It was really suffocating me to wake up every night, as if someone had put their hands around my throat!

The most serious thing is sweating, sweating profusely all day long! Don’t dare to eat too much rice with soup, let alone drink water!

In the end, I had no choice but to seek medical advice and bought some Chinese medicine for treatment! Fortunately, after taking Chinese medicine, I gradually improved!

Also the reason for caesarean section!

Since the amount of milk after delivery is small, the baby needs to eat for an hour or two! At the same time, one movement must be maintained for more than one or two hours!

The physical condition at this time was simply unbearable for me who was weak! So I often have back pain!

Even now, the baby is 14 months old and still has constant pain!

The baby was quite stable in the first three months! Eat a meal before going to bed and you can sleep until dawn!

But later on, the baby had to wake up two to three times every night! When I woke up, I couldn’t stop crying!

I have no choice but to get up and feed him! I have to feed him two or three times a night to get him to sleep!

It leads to severe lack of sleep. I can only sleep three or four hours a day. Sometimes when I have insomnia, I even spin!

The most worrying and frustrating thing is getting vaccinated!

We gave the baby a five-drug injection to detect pneumonia and measles!

For these three types of vaccines, my baby will have a fever once the vaccine is given, and he will have a fever once the vaccine is given! Among them, the fever caused by measles and mumps is the most serious!

Our notice for measles, mumps and rubella vaccine is that you should get it after 8 months! When we were 8 months old, we didn’t go for the vaccination because we were worried and wanted to postpone it until the baby’s resistance was stronger!

When I was 9 months old, I went for a fight! However, before fighting, we did enough work! To deal with fever after vaccination!

The first day was fine, except that the injection site was a little red!

The next day was fine. There was a little lump in the red area, and the red area was even larger!

The third day is fine!

,,,

Until the afternoon of the seventh day, when I used the forehead thermometer on one side, it showed 38 degrees! Suddenly a thought came to my mind: It’s finally here!

By eight or nine o'clock in the evening, the temperature has soared to 39 degrees, and the baby's energy has also dropped, and he feels like he has no strength!

We first used physical cooling methods: such as scrubbing the whole body, applying hot compresses to the forehead and drinking a lot of water!

At 12 o'clock in the evening, the body temperature dropped slightly: 38.5! The baby doesn’t look so uncomfortable anymore!

But I got up twice in the night and wiped his body!

In the afternoon of the eighth day, the temperature gradually dropped, but instead, red pimples began to appear on my face!

However, this is the prelude to recovery: "the fever subsides and the rash appears"!

Sure enough, on the third day after the rash occurred, that is, the tenth day after the vaccination, the baby returned to his usual appearance at noon!

The stone in our hearts has finally fallen to the ground!

The above is the most frustrating moment for us one year after giving birth! I believe everyone who has been there feels this deeply, right?

Finally, I would like to ask, is my baby's fever and rash a reaction to the vaccine, or is it an infantile rash?

As soon as the two-child policy was relaxed, people became hot-headed and joined the second-child army.

Ever since the second baby was born, he only cried when he drank milk. I tried various methods and went to the hospital, but nothing worked.

I take care of the baby by myself every night. The first time the baby stops crying is around 2 a.m., and the latest time is when he cries until 4 a.m. before going to bed. I just hold the baby and walk around the room by myself. , that kind of helplessness can only be experienced by mothers who have experienced it. Because during the confinement period, I was tired, couldn’t sleep well, and had no milk. I cried when I saw my baby sucking on an empty nipple and feeling aggrieved, and I still feel very sad when I think about it now.

As soon as the confinement was over, my husband and mother-in-law went back to their hometown if they had something to do. I have to send Dabao to remedial classes by myself, and take care of Xiaobao. The washing machine is broken, and I have to wash clothes by hand. Thinking about it now makes me feel miserable.

Although I do not suffer from postpartum depression, I feel very sad every time I think about these things. If you don’t have money, time, and someone to take care of you at the same time, I suggest you have fewer children.