Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Praise those interesting words.

Praise those interesting words.

1. Even if the famous flowers have been taken, why can't they be untied? 2, don't give me a discharge, because I have a caller ID here.

3. I don't lack nose and eyes, why doesn't anyone look at me?

4. You are so heartless that you should be very light.

5, the old man seems to eat dazzling, can't stop.

6. Why do I never get full marks for copying a perfect composition?

7. I have the ability to pick up girls, obviously girls.

8, treat me with long hair and waist, local tyrants, we are friends.

9. Looking at the sky, my mind is full of you. Are you tired?

10, take my long hair, boy, can you hang yourself with it?

1 1, I want to be fat into a sea and drown all the flamboyant dead skinny people.

12, you are my little fat girl, I can't love you too much.

13, I have a thin heart and a fat belly.

14, the embarrassing thing is that my leg hair is longer than your eyelashes.

15, all quarrels that don't aim at breaking up are to show love.

16, don't eat indiscriminately, drinking northwest wind will poison this era.

17, the more others talk, the more they love each other, while the more we talk, the more nonsense we talk.

18, you look like a hotel, how can you make me feel at home?

19, sorry, I only smell of sweat, not feminine.

20. Do you have a crush on the proprietress or the boss's mother?

2 1, sister paper, where did you put your heart? Help me find it.

22. In front of the person you like, we always shine foolishly.

23, I am not beautiful, just don't spray me, I am not awkward, just don't push me.

24. When people say you are ugly, you should answer that you are blind.

25. I wish an atomic bomb would blow up all the book makers.

I was so clever that I accidentally got lost.

27. Report card, come at me if you have anything, and don't scare my parents.

28, never give up, it is pure fart, forever, it is pure walking the dog.

29. I threw my clothes into the washing machine and shouted, Go away.

30. I figured it out at one moment, and I couldn't figure it out the next. I've been circulating.

3 1, teacher, can you change the teaching method? Like a dream.

Every time I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

33. I have fixed the wedding date, and now I just need to fix the groom.

34. Every man wearing a down jacket has a dream of being a duck.

35, buddy psychological quality is very good, just like no psychological quality.

I can cook all kinds of instant noodles. Do you want to consider marrying me?

The child is very clever, but his mind is not on his studies.

38. I am such a stubborn person that I don't review until I die.

39. There is a kind of pain called the preview of the next episode, and there is a kind of despair called waiting for another week.

Please forgive my fear. If you don't like the next story, I will abstain.

4 1, maybe it wasn't a meteor that fell from the sky, but a crashed plane.

42. No matter whether you carry me or not, your height is there, neither increasing nor decreasing.

43. You did really badly in the exam. You broke my heart, not to mention my parents.

44. A good friend is when two people look at each other for no reason and laugh foolishly.

45. You scold me because you don't know me well enough, and everyone who knows me wants to cut me.

You don't have to take the initiative, but don't move when I take the initiative.

Great joke. Tell me about it.

1, from heaven to hell, I pass by! 2. Can't afford to sleep in the morning; Sleep at night!

3, don't hope, don't expect, there will be no disappointment.

Luck is when an opportunity happens to bump into your efforts.

5, if the sky is affectionate, the sky is old, and if people are affectionate, they will die early!

6. Dude, I gave you the forever silent award.

7. As long as the hoe jumps well, which corner can't be dug down?

8. A handsome guy like me will be found absent from class.

9. A bad friend who has been with you for a long time is better than countless dog friends.

10, you are so likable, how can I not love you?

1 1. Although the bird is small, it really plays all over the sky.

12, the equivalent of life, there is no distinction between high and low.

13, the biggest regret in life is that you can't kiss your face.

14, the money is a little more, but it is only enough to buy half a living room.

15, as the old saying goes, just gamble and have fun.

16, pigs have gone up in price these days. Why can't they go up?

17. When a smartphone falls to the ground, it becomes a mentally retarded mobile phone.

18, we blocked our love, and no one can go back on our word.

19, all grades. This bitch ruined my relationship with my mother!

20. Teacher, I met a robber, but my homework was robbed.

2 1, I like the way you can't get used to me and can't do it.

22. Every parent has jet lag, and obviously only wants to say 1: 30.

23. Boys should show their teeth instead of pouting.

24, quietly waiting for you for a long time, you didn't come, but I am used to waiting.

Have a good rest during the day, because you have to sleep at night!

26. Seriously, have you had plastic surgery? My stomach is bulging.

27. It's so cold that even farting can be used to dry hands.

28, nothing, you also learn from others Tencent, call me dear every day!

29. Don't arm yourself in a secular way, he will be acclimatized.

30. The best love is to let go of your hand, and the best to let go is to kill him.

3 1, happiness is a comparative level, and you can only feel it when something is at the bottom.

32. I am also the seed of infatuation, and I drowned in the rain.

33. Equality between men and women is only verbal. No, you can try it in the ladies' room.

34. Teacher, you are great. You must pretend to be strong when you know that we won't listen.

35. I often look at myself in the mirror, sometimes I feel ugly, and then I am tired of beauty!

36. When others laugh at your sore spot, you can only laugh foolishly.

37. My shadow is stacked on you, and your eyes reflect the light that warms me.

38. The highest level of work is to watch others go to work and get their wages.

39. Young girls are precious, while young women are more expensive. If there are rich women, they can both be thrown away.

40. Don't say you don't know me. It happens that I don't know you either. This is fate!

4 1. Don't complain that there is no beef in the beef noodles. Is there no wife in the old lady's cake?

42. Behind every successful Altman, there are a group of little monsters who are beaten silently.

43. I will walk with you as long as the road is, without complaining or frowning.

44. Every time the chemistry teacher does an experiment, I always say a word in my heart: Fried!

45. The monthly exam is not to show off to teachers in all subjects. They really think they teach well.

46. Learning to solve loneliness in a child's way means playing with yourself.

47. If you feel sick and retching when brushing your teeth, don't brush your teeth in front of the mirror.

48. I have never been late since I set my alarm clock on edge and got up and rolled around every day.

49. I want to delete my records after entering your space, but who thought I didn't have access?

50, men look at the chest room, women look at the housing, the problem of two rooms is very difficult for many men and women.

5 1, let me be your mobile phone, so you can hold me in your hand every day.

52. No one is born afraid of death, and no one is born afraid of death, so don't pretend!

53. If you have money, you can say that money is earned. When there is no money, say that the money is saved.

54. Go west, cross the Terminator Line, cross the Japan Line, and go back to the day when I first met you.

I usually forget to scold you, and you won't know that I am smart and brave until I hit you.

56. Now you must look at the object carefully, because there are too many people who are not men and women!

57, the school is not a funeral home, check what remains! What are you still wearing?

58. Who says fat girls are bad? They have many benefits. The wind blows them and they can't run. It feels good to hold them.

59. Don't think that I am out of reach because I am handsome. Actually, I am a sea of rivers.

60. The kindergarten teacher hit a boy because the boy ate the girl's boobs.

6 1, obviously we all like each other, but why are we embarrassed to look at each other when we meet?

62. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but there are many WIFI nearby, but we don't know the password. .

63. I go to the province three times a day: where did I put the key? Where did I put my phone? Where did I put my meal card?

64. Pigs have pig thoughts, and people have people's thoughts. If a pig has a human brain, it is not a pig ―― it is Bajie!

65. A good friend is probably that you are crazy. I don't want to go crazy with you, but I will give you medicine regularly.

Every Monday is the busiest time for us to study, because we have to leave one eye for homework and the other for the class teacher.

67. What is love? It turns out that no matter whether you are good or bad, you just want to treat it gently, even if you are deeply hurt, you can't bear to hate it.

68. Take a small mobile phone, send all kinds of text messages, reply to messages every time, miss everything, and express your feelings by text messages is the most emotional and knows your sweetheart best.

69. Xueba: If only falling in love could be as simple as learning. Scum: If only learning could be as simple as falling in love.

70. Your X-ray shows that your ribs are broken. What should I do, doctor? It's okay. I've fixed it for you and Mito Xiu Xiu.

7 1, when life turned everything into black humor with malice, I went with the flow and turned myself into a hooligan with a higher education.

72. Get up every morning and shout: Fuck Japan. This is not only good for health, but also can cultivate patriotic moral sentiments!

73. What I want to see most in my life: Pleasant Goat was eaten by the wolf, Jerry was eaten by Tom, Xiaolan and Conan got married, and the news broadcast ended.

74. I've been working outdoors recently and I've got a tan. I went to the supermarket to buy some whitening skin care products, and the salesman even praised me: Your Chinese is really good.

75. On a dark night, Lord Bao said to the mirror, Mirror, Mirror, who is the most handsome man in the world? The magic mirror said: Who? Who's talking?

76. You don't learn so many weapons in China, but you prefer to learn swords; Go to the sword, but don't learn the sword; There are so many moves in the sword that you are drunk with learning the sword; Learn silver sword instead of iron sword.

77. As soon as the girls in our school turned around, the teachers and principals jumped off the building. When the girls in our school turn around, the Yangtze River and the Yellow River flow backwards. When the girls in our school turn three times, they don't have to worry about recovering Taiwan Province Province!

78. Outside the Qingshan Building outside the mountain, when will the lights stop, take a rest in the karaoke bar after dinner, and then go to the pedicure for half a night. How can there be wine that is not intoxicating?

79. I went to eat noodles the other day and saw peppers under the front table. There happened to be a tin of iron next to me. I didn't look at it, but it fell. I poured a bowl of toothpicks!

80. The head teacher came into the classroom angrily and said to the students, I will put up with it if you call me Zhang from China, but why do you call the new political teacher Fan a political prisoner?

8 1 On the day of Tomb-Sweeping Day, I found a thick wallet on the road. I am ecstatic. Open it and it's all paper money! Heaven said, where did you get such good luck in life? So I grabbed my wallet and killed it by the roadside!

82. It is raining outside the curtain. I didn't sleep tonight. I always sweat on my broken bed. Every power outage in midsummer makes Hua Xian angry. Shake the fan alone, seemingly at leisure, imagining that the man is around. Yesterday has passed.

Interesting dialogue joke

A series of funny jokes.

One day, a drunk walked out of Portman Hotel and got into a taxi. On the way to the Hilton Hotel, the driver found him undressing one by one and said, "Sir hasn't arrived yet." "Why didn't you say I left my shoes outside?"

2. Party A and Party B share a quilt. Party A sneezes and sprays it on Party B's face. Party B said: Let me know in advance! After a while, A said, Get ready! B quickly got into bed, only to hear a bang, A dropped a P!

Lao Li has always suspected that his youngest son is not his own. When he was dying, he asked his wife: Is he my own son? His wife nodded yes, and he closed his eyes with satisfaction. At this time, my wife breathed a sigh of relief and said, fortunately, I didn't ask the first two.

A few years ago, a leader of our company received an urgent telegram from home, saying that his father was critically ill and asked him to go back and see him for the last time. The leader is very sad, and the postman is waiting for his signature. As a result, the leader signed an "agreement" on the receipt of the telegram.

I went home with my girlfriend, and she closed the door as soon as she came in. I knocked at the door and shouted, "open the door, open the door, I haven't gone in yet, really!" " When the conductor's girlfriend said, "What's that noise?" Take the next trip!

6. My girlfriend works as a clerk in a company. One day she went home to cook and needed to beat another egg. My girlfriend said to me, you go and print me another copy of this egg.

7. My mother is an insurance salesman. One day, my neighbor's wallet was stolen. My mother said that these bandits were so rampant that they made our hard-earned money carelessly. Hey, if you buy some insurance, you may be able to stay safe.

8. Altman's signature action is quite like raising his hand. Once he went to school for further study. He sat in a standard posture in class, with his hands folded flat on his chest. Suddenly he asked a question and raised his right hand straight. There was a flash of light and the teacher hung up.

9. Wearing my expensive "big leather shoes", singing a touching "single love song", climbing the speeding "power train" and pursuing the "legend" among the "legends". Oh yes. At the end of the kindergarten holiday, many students issued certificates.

10, dad saw his son return empty-handed and asked, son, did you get a certificate this year? The son said aggrieved: I asked the teacher, and the teacher said that I owed it first and made it up next year.

1 1. Son: Mom, the teacher said that boys and girls will have children when they sleep together. Is it true?/You don't say. Mom: Well, it's true. Son: But I slept with my little sister in kindergarten. Why hasn't she given birth yet?

12, son coughs. The doctor checked and said, I have a cold. I gave him a bottle of infantile cough syrup. Father: Open two bottles. Doctor: One bottle will do. Father: I feed my child a spoonful, so I have to drink a spoonful with him, otherwise he won't drink.

13, Xiaoli was born ugly. She can't figure out why she is ugly. Aren't her parents ugly! Until one day she asked her friend. The friend said: this is called positive or negative. To put it bluntly, you call this a natural disaster!

14, children of the elderly are unfilial. Someone asked him: Why do you keep an unlucky crow? A: I raised several children when I was young, but I made a mistake when I grew up; When I was old, I had a crow. As soon as I saw it, it fed me every day.

15, a person has a leg disease and needs a minor operation. During the dinner, a catty and a half of wine went into the stomach, floated to the operating bed and suddenly snored. I woke up with a sharp pain in my leg and asked the doctor. The doctor replied, "I didn't give you an anesthetic."

16, Liu Qiang took his fiancee Liu Fang to eat at home. After introducing Liu Fang, his little niece said, Uncle, you can't be good with Aunt Liu Fang! Liu Qiang asked: Why? The little niece said: you are all surnamed Liu, that is the same surname love!

17, wife: I didn't see you doing literary creation either? Husband: I don't have that talent! Wife: Didn't you write personals in the provincial evening paper before you got married? Husband: "I mean individuals.

18, a man doesn't have a girlfriend. What does his friend ask him? A man said that this girl must be a pig. A friend asked him why, and a man said, I am a monkey. If I find a girl who is a pig like Pig Bajie and the Monkey King, she will be afraid of me.

19. Because of the first flight, Mitsuko's two sons were on pins and needles. They ran up and down the aisle and almost knocked over the drinks in the stewardess's hand. Mitsuko immediately reprimanded his two sons and said, "Stop fooling around here and go outside to play!"

The policeman stopped the speeding car and said to the driver, Hey, you violated the traffic rules! The driver said, am I driving too fast? The policeman said: Not driving too fast, but flying too low!

2 1, the first day of obstetrics and gynecology interns. When he got home, his wife asked him how he was today. Husband: It's not too bad. Although the mother and the baby were not saved, they finally saved the baby's father.

22. Mom: Why don't you study hard? The child pretended to say: as soon as I settled down to study, I thought of the whole world. The motherland has not yet been unified, and I feel very depressed. I really have no intention to study.

23. My boyfriend asked: What would you do if I cheated? Girlfriend A: I turn a blind eye ... I JJ…… ... want to sigh my girlfriend's generosity, and she said, I'll turn a blind eye and aim at your penis. ...

More than three hours after the operation, the doctor asked the patient: Are you happy that your liver is fine? The patient said in horror: no! The doctor said seriously: If you want to stabilize your illness, you must be happy! The patient fainted at that time. ...

25. Mathematicians and their girlfriends are walking in the park. My girlfriend asked, "Do you really mind my freckles?" The mathematician gently replied, "Never! I was born to like dealing with decimal points. "

26. The rich woman likes antiques, and she asked that the bedroom be painted the same color as the vase. Many painters have tried, but failed. A painter did it and became famous. Others asked him: How did you do it? I painted the vase!

27. Xiaoming, who was absent-minded in class, was named by the teacher. Teacher: Why don't you answer? Is my question difficult? Xiao Ming: I understand your question, teacher, but the answer stumbles me.

28. A foreigner is traveling in China. Once he went to the rural canteen to buy a pen and said "pen" to his boss, who gave him a basin. The foreigner said "no" and the boss said "no, it's imported!"

29. Woman: "I'm innocent." Policeman: "But the suspect looks too much like you, young, beautiful, elegant, and." Woman: "I confess that the person you are talking about is me."

30. The grandson saw Bingkula's body and asked Milk: Why did that man keep sweating? Grandma said: children are not sensible, don't talk nonsense, people are very nervous when they die for the first time!

3 1, lover, 20 1 1 anti-inflation necessities, the appreciation potential is higher than the property market, and the financing efficiency is better than the stock market. Say nothing, except love, everything is a cloud. My blessing, you know. Happy Valentine's Day!

32. When Xiao Zhang went to the restaurant for dinner, he said loudly, "Waiter, let's have homemade (extended) tofu." The waiter immediately replied, "Oh, I see! How long do you want to add? " Xiao Zhang was stunned and replied: "As long as you can."

33. A woman went to see a doctor the day after her marriage. The doctor asked: Why? Answer: I took 20 birth control pills. Ask again: Why not take the medicine according to the instructions? Answer: I took the medicine according to the instructions, which said one tablet at a time. doctor ...

34. Someone told me that "your head was kicked by a donkey", and you flew into a rage! I know you are loyal, and you can't get sand in your eyes, so I understand how you feel-although you have never kicked me!

35. A driver wanted to reverse the car, and he found a young man and said, How much will he pour later? Please shout for me. The young man stammered, so he nodded and began to shout: pour … pour …, "bang", pour … pour … just a little!

36. It is said that egg tart is a Macao delicacy. I wanted to try it for a long time, and finally I had a chance to see it in the cake shop: "New egg tart, welcome to taste it!" "Have a big egg tart." A minute later: "Here you are!" I was stunned for half a minute: "I want an egg tart (egg tower) instead of an egg bowl."

37. A flower is pregnant, and the green leaves cook delicious meals for her every day. The green leaves ask the flowers: What's our son's name? Flowers: If you give me rice every day, you might as well call it peanuts!

38. A scholar has read a lot of poems, but his hands are weak. Someone asked him what he cherished most in his life, and he said it was four arrows, which made everyone confused. Answer: "Time flies"!

39. Daughter: "Mom, where did I come from?" Mom: "Baby, you came out of my stomach." Daughter: "Was I born or pulled out?"

40, a small network cable, a spiritual love, one on this side of the mountain, one on the other side of the sea, one is a cucumber face, one is the sky, the baby here just went online, the old man there discharged, and he said confidently: We are online dating!

4 1, I hate it when people say that we are online dating. I feel more like a friend I haven't seen for years. Tencent reminded me to prevent online fraud, but you stole my things and sent a text message warning you to return them immediately and return my true feelings.

42. I spent 50 yuan doing a fashionable hairstyle today. After returning home, I was strongly criticized by my wife. At this time, a parrot that has been silent for a long time concluded: "This hairstyle is very cost-effective. Just 50 yuan, haircut 250 yuan. "

43. I fell in love with your face in Me Before You. My mother says you are a fairy, and my father wants to take you home to meet you. My family likes you very much. Is it convenient to send a message to ask you?

44. The daughter fell in love with a handsome boy, and her father said that the man was her half-brother. Another handsome boy fell in love with his daughter, and his father said that that man was also his brother. The daughter cried, and her mother comforted her: My dear girl, don't worry, you can marry whoever you like.

45.MM asked his girlfriend: should the ring and necklace bought by her boyfriend and ex-girlfriend be left together or thrown away? It's a pity to throw it away, but it's annoying not to throw it away! Girlfriend: Much ado about nothing! Aren't you using her ex-boyfriend?

Interesting words

1, you have to endure hardships to drive a Land Rover. If you don't work hard, you can only drive Li Xia.

If you don't want to answer my phone, just say so. Don't always let China Mobile say sorry for you!

3. All love can't be caged, and there is a pig in the wall. ...

I have the ability to pick up girls, but unfortunately I am a girl.

5, the biggest happiness of thin people is that eating too much is not afraid of long meat; The biggest happiness of fat people is that they are still fat after eating too much.

6. When we were young, we were all flowers of the motherland. It's just ... when you grow up, someone becomes a miracle.

7. You don't know who you love most until you are drunk, and you don't know who you love most until you are sick.

8. Mochow has no confidant in the road ahead, and anyone can kill him.

9, people are iron, rice is steel, a day does not pretend to panic.

10, a person's longest love history is probably narcissism …

1 1. The person who is angry with you will never know how many times he has put up with you.

12, "I" is "a friend of mine" and "a classmate of mine", and is called the three unconquerable gods.

13, the so-called sleep naturally wakes up, in fact, it is to sleep until you wake up.

14. When I was a child, I often thought: When I grow up, which is better, Tsinghua or Peking University? I don't know until I grow up: I really think too much.

15, the so-called sleeping goods can be summarized in eight words: spring sleep, summer fatigue, autumn sleep and hibernation.

16, my site, you are the landlord.

17, I paid the money for the class, so I can't attend the class because of something. Why not let me ask for leave? Now the school is not in its proper position. Do you think we are employees? We are customers!

18, the high school teacher said, you don't need to understand this, the university will speak, the university teacher said, don't talk about this, the high school teacher said. Here, here, here!

19, the difference between classes: primary school is expensive, junior high school is expensive, senior high school is expensive, and college is expensive. ...

20, don't give me a discharge, because I have a caller ID here.

2 1, the difference between an affair and an affair is that the former is together and the latter is not together.

22. When I am rich, I will take the person I hate the most to the best mental hospital in the world.

23. I just wanted to turn gracefully, but I accidentally hit the wall.

24. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, nor between love and ignorance, but between beds in winter.

25. Q: What burden did Friar Sand take? A: Let's fight against explosive devices.

26. Put yourself in others' shoes.

27. I just wanted to turn gracefully, but I didn't expect to hit the wall!

28. You can't treat me as a holiday just because we have a holiday.