A joke novel for Ban Hua, who has a crush on her.

1. A puppy crossed the desert. It brought enough water and food, but it died in the desert. How did it die?

The answer is: I didn't find the telephone pole, and I was bored to death.

2. Another puppy crossed the desert. He learned from his peers, brought enough water and food, and found a telephone pole. However, he died in the desert. How did you die?

A: The telephone pole fell down.

The third puppy crossed the desert. It brought enough water and food and found a telephone pole. The telephone pole was upright, but it died in the desert. How did you die?

A: There are many puppies waiting in line in front of the telephone pole. I'm suffocated without the wheel.

The fourth puppy crossed the desert. He brought enough water and food and found the telephone pole. The telephone pole is vertical, and there are no other puppies waiting in line. However, the dog also died in the desert. How did you die?

There is a dog charging by the telephone pole. It only brought water and food, but it didn't change, so ...

The fifth puppy crossed the desert. It brought enough water and food. Found the telephone pole, the telephone pole is vertical, no other dogs are waiting in line, and no dogs are charging there. However, the dog died in the desert. How did you die?

A: There is a piece of paper on the telephone pole, which says: No peeing here!

A: I'll give you a debut topic.

Yes: you say it!

A drunk got drunk and ran into an animal.

B: It's quite difficult.

A: It's a rabbit (vomit)

B: Yes.

This is another one for you. Another drunk is drunk.

It is still a rabbit.

A: It's a rabbit (also vomit). Ha ha.

In class, the teacher asked a student, "If I give you 1 dog, 2 dogs and 3 dogs respectively, how many dogs do you have?"

The student said, "Seven!"

The teacher asked doubtfully again, "If I give you 1 dog, 2 dogs and 3 dogs respectively, how many dogs do you have?"

The student still said, "Seven!"

The teacher refused to give up and decided to ask in another way: "If I give you 1 bottle, 2 bottles and 3 bottles of wine respectively, how many bottles of wine do you have?"

The student said, "Six bottles!"

The teacher said, "Great! It can also be proved. I gave you 1, 2, 3 dogs respectively. How many dogs do you have? "

The student said, "Seven!"

The teacher couldn't stand it anymore: "You are a pig! How did you work out seven! "

The student answered slowly, "I already have a dog at home." If you give me six, there will be seven? " ! "

A little turtle built a house and lived in it-with a lid in the middle.

The little turtle tore down the house and built a new house to live in-a new house with a middle cover.

The little turtle tore down the house again and built a third room-Giant Building.

The interviewer gave a man who came to apply for a job a resume, so the man filled in this information-

Age: This is a personal problem.

Height: Does this have anything to do with work?

Weight: it changes at any time, and it is different before and after meals.

Place of residence: It is a special place and the stage of my life.

Telephone: Ericsson mobile phone.

E-mail: only for beautiful and rich girls.

Working hours: The shorter the better.

Job application: find a job that can be surrounded by beautiful women without doing any practical work.

Education: graduated from a university you can't find.

Language ability: Talking about mountains is a specialty.

Interest: sleeping in the dark.

Birthday: the seventh day of the first month.

Experience: Dance Academy.

Whether you are a senior or a junior is an experience.

Married and unmarried: I want to find a beautiful and rich girl and hope to find one in your company.

Future expectations: only responsible for the podium speech, I hope to retire as soon as possible.

Hope treatment: just take more actual workload.

Name: taken by parents.

Age: Not young!

Height: Very tall.

Weight: medium.

Place of residence: home.

Telephone: It's my treat.

E-mail: My friend applied for it for me.

Working hours: 8 hours.

Application position: one.

Education: If you graduate, you will have a high school education.

Language ability: Yes.

Interests: A lot.

Birthday: Not yet!

Experience: I fell when I first came!

I was a picket in primary school! One day, the devil took the princess away and she kept screaming.

Demon: [screaming at your throat] ... no one will come to save you ...]

Princess: [broken throat] ... broken throat ...]

No one: "Princess ... I'm coming to save you ..."

Devil: "Speak of the devil and he will come ..."

Cao Cao: "Devil .. Why did you call me ..."

Demon: "Wow ... seeing a ghost"

Ghost: "Shit! Was discovered .. "

Shit: "Ghost, can you see me ..."

Devil: "Oh, my God! 」

God: "Who called me? 」

Who: "Nobody called you ..."

Nobody said, "Where am I? Play dumb! 」

Garlic: "Who is pretending to be me? 」

Who: "It's me again? Are you looking for trouble? 」

Trouble: "which one is looking for me?" 」

Which one: "Looking for you? I didn't ... hey, there are so many people here. "

Many people: "I just arrived. Who are you? 」

Which one: "I'm not who."

Who: "He's not me."

Princess: "Is everyone here to save me? 」

Everyone said, "I'm not here to save you, I'm here to watch the fun."

Lively: "What do I have to see? 」

God: "It's none of my business. Let's go first. "

Devil: "You answer a question before you go. Why do so many people save the princess? " ? How can I play this demon king? 」

Go down: "You good devil won't do it, what shall I do?" 」

Princess: "If no one hits the devil, I can go."

No one: "If I play the devil, how can I let you go ..."

How come: "I won't let the princess go, I want to watch the excitement."

Lively: "What are you looking at me for? 」

What: "You want to fuck me? Rogue! 」

How dare you: "I didn't? 」

Me: "What does it have to do with me?" 」

Devil: "Shit! I'm going crazy ... "

Shit: "What am I doing? ...」

Madman: "What do you want me to do? 」

You want me to say, "I don't know anything! 」

I don't know anything: "I don't know! 」

I don't know: "I'm here! Is someone calling me? 」

Someone said, "I didn't call you! 」

I didn't say, "Who called him? 」

Who: "Wrong ... I didn't ..."

I didn't say, "I haven't wronged you ..."

You: "I dare you."

I dare you: "Who says I dare not! ? 」

Who: "please ... I didn't say anything."

I have nothing: "What do you want me to say? 」

I am nothing: "... you ... aren't you my long-lost brother?" ”」

My long-lost brother: "Kao ... my name is very long ... I will be called ..."

Who: "... I want to leave this troublesome place. "

True or false: "So this is my place ..."

I am nothing &; No: "Stop arguing, we are talking ..."

Don't bother us: "I won't talk ..."

I didn't: "I didn't speak! ...」

I have nothing to say: "-_-\ \ \" ... Let's go out and talk ... "

Go: "I'm sorry ... (wriggle)"

I have nothing: "It's none of your business ... Go away ..." (Two brothers go out angrily)

It's none of your business: "Whoops ... why did you kick me out ..."

Why: "I don't want to kick you out ... listen ... don't cry."

I didn't say, "Oh ... What does it have to do with me?"

None of my business: "What? Did anyone call me? 」

Someone said, "Who wants to call you ..."

Who: "I really have to go ... T.T." "

Go: "I'm really embarrassed ... *V.V*"

None of your business: "... aren't you my cousin?" ”」

It's none of my business: "... cousins of the same age (or cousins) ... long time no see ..."

For a long time: "I'm not here ..."

Devil: "Are you finished? 」

Endless: "He doesn't have me."

You: "I don't have him."

I just said, "Who said that? 」

Who: "What do you want me to do? 」

Do you want to fuck me? 」

You: "I won't fuck him."

I said, "Who said I wouldn't? 」

Who: "Wrong! I didn't say. "

He said, "What should I do? 」

? "You two are shameless! 」

You two: "I want it! I want it! 」

Face: "Who wants me? 」

Who: "I don't want it."

Devil: "Hurry up, or I'll kick people out."

Man: "Kick me out? Looking for k "

K: "Who wants to see me? 」

Who: "aaaaaaa! Don't mention my name, mention me again! 」

He said, "Don't trust me."

Me: "Who wants me? 」

Who: "I finally caught one and killed it ..."

One: "Don't arrest me."

Me: "I've had enough, too. If anyone mentions my name again, I will never let you go! 」

Who said, "Look at my eighteen dragon palms! 」

Me: "Look at my nine yin bones and claws! 」

Eighteen palms of dragon descending: "What am I to see? 」

Jiuyin Bones Claw: "What am I to see? 」

What's there to see: "Brother, I finally found you! 」

What's there to see? "Brother, let's talk outside."

Devil: "Shit ... this is an engagement meeting ..."

It is said that the lich king has suffered from schizophrenia since then.

Do you think this is the end of the joke? In fact, this shows that people are lazy, and this has an ending! Now I'll tell you the ending, don't be moved to tears!

Ending:

It is said that after the devil's schizophrenia was cured, he caught the princess again.

This time, the lich king decided to cut to the chase, to make a long story short, in order to avoid others running out to spoil the game again, and cut to the chase directly. .....

Devil: "Stop struggling! Listen to me and marry me! 」

Princess: "All right! 」

So "I" happily took the princess's hand and walked into the wedding hall, accepting all the blessings, leaving only the demon king with his mouth open like a hippo and his body stupefied ... scene 1]

Teacher: To be honest, do you smoke?

Boy a: no.

Teacher: No? Well, French fries, please.

A naturally stretched out two fingers and took it. ...

Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ...

[Scene 2]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy b: no.

Teacher: No? Well, French fries, please.

B took the French fries carefully with her palm, because she heard about A.

Teacher: Aren't you going to dip in some ketchup?

B accidentally dipped too much, so he immediately flicked it with his finger. ...

Teacher: The posture of playing ash is very skillful. Call your parents ...

[Scene 3]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy c: no.

Teacher: no, ok, I'll have French fries.

Because of the first two examples, C carefully finished the French fries with sweat.

Teacher: Aren't you going to take a root home for your classmates?

C picked up the French fries and put them in his ear. ...

Teacher: No? Call your parents ...

[Scene 4]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy d: no.

Teacher: Good. Have a French fries.

Eating French fries in fear.

Teacher: Aren't you going to take a root home for your classmates?

D carefully put the chips in his upper pocket again.

The teacher suddenly shouted: The headmaster is coming!

D quickly took French fries out of his pocket and threw them on the ground, stepping on them with his feet. ...

Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ...

[Scene 5]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy e: no,

Teacher: Good. Have a French fries.

E just took French fries, and the teacher said, won't you invite me to eat?

E hurriedly handed me the French fries with both hands and then took out a lighter. ...

Teacher: No? ! Call your parents

[Scene 6]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy f: no.

Teacher: Eat French fries.

After the boy F finished eating, the teacher asked: What brand do you like to eat?

Boy F proudly said: Of course: Greater China!

Teacher: Call my parents!

[Scene 7]

Teacher: Eat French fries.

Boy n: no, thanks.

The teacher fainted. Philosophical examination questions

A teacher in the philosophy department took only one question in the mid-term exam.

The topic is "What is courage?"

While everyone is trying to figure out how to write. ...

A classmate handed in his paper ... he didn't write a word!

But he only wrote five words, "This is courage!"

Absolutely! The teacher gave him full marks.

But it must be in the back.

Finally, the final exam. The teacher still only takes one exam.

The topic this time is "This is the topic, please answer".

Isn't that a strange question? I can't write yet.

But the student handed in his paper soon.

What did he write this time?

He wrote, "This is the answer, please give points ..."

The teacher angry but angry call:

"Boy, bad! Come here, I have two questions for you. Answered the first question, you don't have to answer the second ... "

Teacher: "How many hairs do you have?"

Classmate: "12360 1 block"

Teacher: "How do you know?"

Classmate: "There is no need to answer this question."

He got full marks in the final exam again!

The answer that can piss off the teacher!

Title: Although ......

Student: He undressed and put on pants.

Comment: Does he want to take it off or wear it?

Title: Among them

Student: I hurt my left foot.

Comment: Are you a centipede?

Title: One after another.

Student: After work, my father went home one after another.

Comment: How many dads do you have?

Title: Prosperity.

Student: My brother is thriving.

Comment: Son, is your brother a vegetable?

Theme: sadness

Student: There is a ditch in front of my house, which is really sad.

Comment: The teacher is even sadder. ......

Title: Again ... Again. ......

Student: My mother is short, tall, fat and thin.

Comment: Is it your mother ... a deformed diamond?

Title: ... first, then ... second, third, fourth and fifth.

Student: Goodbye, sir!

Comment on writing: Imagination exceeds the wisdom of people on earth.

Title: In addition,

Student: A train passes by, besides, besides. ......

Comment on writing: forget it when I die. ....

My deskmate has a cold and a runny nose, but he forgot to bring his handkerchief and has been sniffing it. The Chinese teacher who was writing on the blackboard suddenly turned around and shouted, "That's enough! Stop it! Too noisy! " The whole class was silent. The teacher added, "Who steals noodles in class? What are you arguing about? " ?

Pinch the cock by the neck but dare not go under the knife. After a long pause, I strangled the chicken!

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was an idiot. He is so stupid that when people ask him any questions, he just shakes his head or answers "No". Have you heard this story?

Women can see the moon and the sun, which is a serious astigmatism to the moon and the sun.

Listen! I want to chase you! I thought you were! I have been looking for you! I will seize this opportunity! I must catch up with you! Dead flies! ?

The teacher said: I want class flowers for two people. So I took a class flower, took a class and chose two most beautiful girls. The teacher said: Go to the Academic Affairs Office to move flowers!

Those who know Cantonese come.

1, marriage registry, a couple to register.

The manager asked the woman, "What's your name?"

The woman said, "I'm Li Jiefen."

The administrator said, "I know you are married, but your family asked what your name is."

The woman said, "I'm Li Jiefen!"

The administrator said, "It's crazy, alas! I'm too lazy to talk to you. What about that guy? What's your name? "

The man said, "I'm Wu."

The administrator said, "Do you dare to say? What a second person! I dare not say my name. Talk to me! What's your name? "

The man said, "I'm talking about Wu Guangjin."

A couple named Li gave birth to a son named Ben. One day, Li Ben suddenly ran away from home, so the couple went to the police station to report the case.

The policeman asked her husband, "What's your name?"

Husband replied: "Li Guangxian"

The policeman asked the woman again, "What's your name?"

The woman replied, "I live in Wugang."

The policeman was furious and said, "Kim, what are you doing here?" "

The couple replied loudly: "stability is Li stupid."

3. The highest level of playing mobile phones

The student asked the professor a philosophical question about life: "Professor, I want to ask, were you angry in the earthquake, angry, and buried?" Is there any difference? "

The professor said, "I'll give you an experiment so that you can get married easily."

So he opened the phone book, casually pressed the phone of a guy named PK and called him. The phone is connected, and the professor presses the zoom button to let the students hear clearly. ...

Professor: "What is Tony Leung Chiu Wai's degree?"

PK: "You have the wrong number!"

Professor: "Bie Ye! Tony Leung Chiu Wai Department? "

PK: "You have the wrong number!" Then he hung up.

After that, the professor called immediately. ...

Professor: "What is Tony Leung Chiu Wai's degree?"

PK Wang: "One side! You have the wrong number. "

Professor: "What is Tony Leung Chiu Wai's degree?"

PK Wang: "Your mother is obsessed with marriage." Hang up again.

The professor told the students, "D is angry! Staying with me makes you angry! "

The professor called again. ...

Professor: "What is Tony Leung Chiu Wai's degree?"

PK Wang: "You owe me five elements? I want Tony Leung Chiu Wai to go to China! Your mother ya, if you have the courage, beat Li, bow to me ... ". Say that finish more vigorously swinging the phone.

The professor told the students, "D is anger. Stay with me so that you can get off the field and call it an earthquake! "

Then, the professor dialed another number, and this time it took a while before someone answered. As soon as the phone is connected ...

PK Wang: "Top your lungs! B Your mother ... "When he swore. ...

Professor: "Excuse me, are you from Mi PK?"

PK Wang: "Oh! I'm sorry, because someone played a prank first, and I didn't want to provoke you ... "

Professor: "Never mind. Excuse me, Tony Leung Chiu Wai's degree? "

PK Wang: "Wow! Your servant ... "The professor hung up the phone before PK finished this time.

The professor told the students, "D is an earthquake, do you understand?"

The student replied, "I totally understand the sun!" " "

The student nodded: "But ... is Ye Ye in distress situation?"

The professor smiled and dialed the same number again. The other party quickly picked up the phone. ...

PK Wang: "Hey! ! ! You silly boy, do you want to fight wild? "

Professor: "I'm Tony Leung Chiu Wai. Excuse me, is there a phone call for me ... "

Words of blessing

One day, the teacher asked the students to say hello, and Xiao Ming stood up first.

I wish you laugh often, you have to laugh anyway.

I wish you a pleasant journey, disappear halfway and go home without a trace.

Congratulations on making a fortune.

I wish you a prosperous business and getting poorer and poorer.

Have fun every day, leg cramps.

I wish you all the best and hit a wall everywhere.

I wish you good health and all your teeth will fall out.

Have a nice trip and fall down halfway.

I wish you happiness as the East China Sea, and the whole family will jump into the sea.

Have a good life, you are often abnormal.

I wish you an early birth and a natural death.

The teacher fell to the ground.

Xiao Ming: "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad: "Silly child, how can you be a silly child?"

Xiao Lou's mother said, "What can I do for you, teacher?" The teacher said, "Yes, your children don't pay attention in class, and they still don't know the initials and finals." Xiao Lou's mother said, "Son, why are you so stupid?" ! Isn't mom your biological mother, and I was your pregnant mother before I gave birth to you? "

Once upon a time there was a man named Shuang.

He is dead.

On the day of the funeral.

Cool ... cool ...

Passers-by were puzzled and asked, "What are you admiring?"

The family burst into tears: "It's so cool ... it's so cool ..."

A foreign language learner accidentally stepped on a foreigner's foot in the street that day. The man quickly said, "I'm sorry," and the foreigner said politely, "I'm sorry, too." Hearing this, the man quickly said, "I'm sorry there." The foreigner asked stupidly, "Why are you so afraid?" The man said helplessly, "I'm sorry."

A lady said to her girlfriend, "I made my husband a millionaire, but now she wants to abandon me." The girlfriend was surprised and sighed: "Then you helped your husband a lot ... What did your husband do before?" ! ? Lady: "A multi-millionaire." "

A family caught fire, and both parents escaped, leaving only their son inside. Mother shouted, "My son is on fire. Why don't you come out?" Son: "I am wearing socks." "What socks were you wearing when the fire broke out?" After five minutes, before my son came out, my mother nervously shouted, "Son, come out quickly. The fire is getting bigger and bigger. Why are you still inside? " The son said, "I'm going to take off my socks!" " "

The funeral home received a body, which was said to have been struck by lightning while climbing a tree, but the administrator was very surprised: "Why are you laughing when you were struck by lightning?" The policeman said, "Because after he climbed the tree, he suddenly saw a flash of lightning and thought someone was filming him ..."

Devil: "God, can I be reincarnated?"

God: "Yes"

Devil: "I don't want to be a devil anymore." I want to be as white as an angel and have wings, but I still want to suck blood. "

God: "well, you can be reborn as a nurse!" " "