There is a super funny joke.

One day, Cao Cao and Liu Bei boiled wine to discuss heroes. It's cloudy and thunderous outside. After a few drinks, Liu Bei suddenly farted, which was embarrassing.

Guan Yu said frankly in the back: "Don't take offense, fart comes from feather (rain)!" Liu Beizheng is embarrassed.

As soon as Guan Yu's voice fell, Zhao Yun stepped forward: "Don't make a fuss, fart comes from the clouds!"

As soon as Zhao Yun said it, Zhang Fei shouted loudly: "Farts are flying!"

Everyone burst into laughter. Liu Bei has also returned to normal.

Cao Cao didn't laugh. He is deeply touched by this. After seeing Liu Bei and others off, Cao Cao said to his subordinates, "When Liu Bei's subordinates saw the master's mistakes, they rushed to take responsibility and make up for them. It's really loyal. If it is your turn, can you do it? "

The generals were filled with indignation and said with one voice, "Prime Minister, isn't it a fart matter? What's the difficulty! See it next time. "

A few days later, Cao Cao invited Liu Bei to drink again. During the dinner, he wanted to fart and see how his men reacted. After holding back for a long time, I finally managed to hold back a small Pi. Everyone waited for a long time, only to hear a "goo". The general was a hothead and quickly shouted, "Chu (pig) put the fart!"

The waiter Wang Lang immediately said, "Lang (Wolf) farted!"

Gou An said: This is Gou (dog) fart.

Cai Mao said: This is cat fart.

When Cao Cao stared, others thought that Cao Cao thought he was too slow to take care of himself.

Taurus said, "This is golden fart!"

Yu Xun said: "This is a fart!"

Cao Hong said, "Fart is red!"

Gao Lan said, "Fart is blue!"

Jiang Gan said, "Fuck!"

Sima Shi said: "Fart is the teacher's (wet)!"

Xiahou Yuan said, "Fart is deep (round)!"

ICY said, "Fart is square!"

Cao Cao was so frightened that he was about to have a fit. Guo Jia, the counselor, shouted, "No one is right, no one is right! Everyone is wrong! "

Worthy of being my number one strategist. Cao Cao secretly thought. Listen to him first.

Guo Jia said: "This is a good (fake) fart!"

Cao Zhen grabbed it again: "This is true fart!"

Cao Cao was so angry that he almost fainted and was completely disappointed. He doesn't want more people behind him.

Guo Huai said: "This is Huai (bad) fart!"

Zhang He said: "Fart is near (drink)!"

Sima Yan said: "Farting has inflammation (pharynx)!"

Huang Xu said, "You're all out!"

Xia Houdun said, "Fart escapes!"

Guo Tu said: "Farting is a picture (spitting)!

Xia Houba said, "Fart comes from bullies."

Xun You said, "You let the fart out!"

Man Chong said, "Fart is a pet!"

Jiang Ji said: "Fart comes from the economy!"

Zhong Youdao: "Fart is coming!"

Finally, Cao Cao couldn't bear it any longer and said angrily, "Nonsense, shit."

Liu Bei and others have laughed stagger.

A beautiful girl keeps a parrot. One day, the girl was taking a bath in the bathroom. The parrot said, "Yes, yes."

The girl said angrily to the parrot, "If you bark again, you will be plucked."

The next day, a bald guest came home, and the parrot sneaked on the guest's shoulder and whispered, "You saw it, too."

have you finished? "

2.

A man bought a parrot and wanted to teach it to learn civilized language, so he would say "good morning" when he passed it every morning.

Said he was in a bad mood this morning and didn't say anything when he passed by. The bird stared at him coldly and said:

"Hey, what's wrong with you today?"

3.

Dali bought a parrot and couldn't wait to make the bird talk as soon as he entered the house.

"Yours, talk?" Da Li stretched out her neck to tease. The parrot didn't respond.

"Yours can talk, and it is rare." Da Li picked up a bug to seduce him. The parrot still doesn't respond.

"Yours, don't talk and go to hell!" Da Li threatened with a sullen face.

Suddenly, the parrot straightened its neck and shouted, "Down with Japanese imperialism!

4.

One night, Cindy came home from work and cooked dinner as usual. But she found water in the kitchen.

The drain pipe of the water tank seems to be blocked, so she called William, the water electrician, hoping that he could come and help repair it. William

He said that he would go to Cindy's house tomorrow afternoon. Because it was during Cindy's office hours,

So Cindy told him, "I'll put the key under the doormat and come in yourself." I have an Akita dog.

Dog, good, you don't have to worry. Besides, I have a parrot, who is a troublesome guy. When you came in,

Wait, whatever it tells you. Remember! Never talk to parrots. "William listened to although full of doubts, but

Let's just say.

The next afternoon, William arrived at Cindy's house on time, entered the door and began to repair the kitchen sink. This dog is very good,

I didn't yell at him. The parrot kept talking and shouting at him. At first, William remembered Cindy's instructions.

I didn't pay attention to it, but the parrot kept calling. After a while, William finally couldn't stand it. He looked at the parrot.

Shout: "Shut up! You big stupid bird! "

The parrot paused, and William thought his roar had some effect.

Then, I heard the parrot imitate Cindy's voice and say, "Dog! Go bite him! " Then I heard a noise in the kitchen.

Screams. (

5.

Little x went to the bird market again. Found a parrot with a price tag of 3 yuan money.

So he asked the seller: Why is your parrot so cheap?

Vendor: My parrot is stupid! Shit, I've been teaching for a long time. Up to now, I can only say one thing-"Who is it?"

? "

Xiao X thought it was cheap anyway, so he bought it.

When he got home at night, he thought, "I don't believe in teaching, and I don't believe in teaching!" " So little x taught it to say something else all night.

But in the morning, the parrot still just said, "Who is it?" So little X got angry, locked the door and went to work.

After a while, a plumber (Z for short) came.

Little Z, "Knock, knock ..." (knocking at the door)

Parrot: Who is it?

Little z: plumber.

Parrot: Who is it?

Little z: plumber.

Parrot: Who is it?

Little z: plumber.

In the evening, little X came back. I saw a man lying on the ground in front of my house, foaming at the mouth.

Little x: yo ~! Who is this?

I hear the parrot in the room: plumber.

6.

Xiao X especially likes parrots. One day he went to the bird walking market and found a parrot with a price of 30,000 yuan.

Curious, he asked the buyer: Why is your parrot so expensive?

Buyer: My parrot is very clever! I'll say anything.

Little X bought it as soon as he heard that he was so clever.

He was very happy when he came home at night. Just play with this parrot.

X: I can walk.

Parrot: I can walk.

X: I can run.

Parrot: I can run.

X: I can fly.

Parrot: You are bragging!

7.

When the big fool entered a country, he took a parrot.

The customs officer stopped him and said, "Sir! You have to pay taxes on this parrot. "

"How much should I pay?"

"Live 50 yuan, and the specimen is only 15 yuan!"

At this moment, I heard the parrot croak, "What a fool! Don't be stingy! "

Q: A rabbit races with a fast tortoise. Guess who won?

A: Rabbit ~ ~

Q: Wrong ~! It's a turtle. As mentioned earlier, it's a fast turtle. Run fast ~ ~

Q: The rabbit doesn't want to compete with a turtle wearing sunglasses. Who will pull this time?

A: Mm-hmm. Tuziba

Q: Wrong ~ ~! The tortoise took off her sunglasses, too! It's the fastest turtle again.

q； What mouse walks on two feet?

a； Mickey mouse.

What duck walks on two feet?

A: Donald Duck.

Q: Wrong, all ducks walk on two legs!

Q: What do African cannibals eat?

A: people!

Q: Then one day, the chief fell ill and the doctor told him to be a vegetarian. What did he eat?

A: Eat vegetables! ~~

Please guess three words ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ For an old hen and an old hen.

Two chickens

Ask an old hen and an old hen to guess five words ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Or two chickens

Then let an old hen and an old hen guess seven words ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Idiot, just two chickens

1. Why is the mouse in the cartoon Tom and Jerry worse than the cat?

A: This mouse must have eaten spinach. (Popeye's blood splashes three feet ...)

Because this cartoon was written by a mouse. (The cat's blood splashes three feet ...)

2. Why do you say "the tiger's ass can't be touched"?

Answer: because touching the tiger's ass, the tail will throw people's hands to the ground, which is very painful.

Tiger's ass is too big.

Touching the tiger's ass is uncivilized behavior. (The world has its own meaning ...)

3. How to stop mosquitoes from biting us?

A: please ask a nanny at the door. (Nanny's blood splashes three feet ...)

Put some oil on your body, step on it and the mosquitoes will slip away.

Put some glue on your body and mosquitoes will stick to it.

If you play a lullaby, the mosquito will go to sleep and stop biting.

4. Why do crabs spit bubbles?

Crabs are sweating from the heat.

It's hungry and drooling.

5. Why are there no dinosaurs now?

A big earthquake destroyed the dinosaurs.

The dinosaur went to make a movie. (... I see. )

6. Why does the white rabbit like to eat radishes?

Because its eyes are red.

Radish is rich in nutrition.

Because rabbits can't afford meat. (The blood of the white rabbit splashes three feet ...)

7. What does a giraffe's long neck do?

A: You can see its good friends.

It looks good to wear a gold necklace around your neck. (……)

This can spy on farmers growing vegetables.

8. What will the fish do if there is no water in the sea one day?

A: Let the water in the river flow into the sea, and add some salt to turn it into the sea. Understand the difference between seawater and fresh water! )

Tell fish to learn to breathe on land. (Animals evolved from sauce purple ...)

9. What is the function of the bird's tail?

A: You can cover your ass. (shameless ...)

It's good to open it when dancing.

10, what's the use of a squirrel's tail?

Answer: when the quilt is covered.

As a parachute.

You can sweep the floor.

As a pillow.

1:

Q: When do people have two mouths?

A: It's time for two people, hehe.

Q: Two people fell into the trap. The dead call the dead, what is the name of the living?

A: Call for help, haha.

2:

Q: Why do people go to bed to sleep?

A: Because the bed won't walk by itself!

3:

Q: The last thing you want to do at a barbecue.

I'll be with you, cook the meat.

one

Little black, little white, little yellow and little red are flying. Who will get sick?

The answer is: Xiao Bai.

Because: white rabbit (vomiting)

two

After a party, a group of animals rushed into the "main store" to buy things. Because it was too noisy, the clerk knocked it out, but left the lamb alone in the store. Why?

Because:

"Family" convenience store does not close for 24 hours!

1. Why does the silkworm baby have money? = => Because it will cocoon (frugal)

2. Why didn't the white rabbit marry the zebra? = => Because mother rabbit says tattoos are not good children.

3. When will Taiwan Province Province be reunified? = => When buying instant noodles (unified instant noodles)

4. What line does the monkey dislike? = => Parallel lines (because there is no intersection)

5. Chocolate and tomatoes fight. Why does chocolate win? = => Because of chocolate bars.

6. What happens when sharks eat mung beans? = => turned into green bean paste.

7. After the match burned, it went to the hospital. What has it become? = => Cotton swab

8. How did Lin Daiyu die? = => Fall to death (a sister Lin fell from the sky)

9. A pig smashed a dish after saying "Come on"? = => Chocolate

10. The potato stabbed the steamed stuffed bun with a deadly knife. What happened? = => has become a bean paste (killing) bag.

1 1. What animals like to stick on the wall? = => Seal (newspaper)

12. Why do foxes often fall down? = => Because foxes are cunning (slippery)

13.4 people are playing mahjong in the house. Why did the police come and take away five people = => Because the people they played were called "Mahjong".

14. When do you like soda? = => When you are lonely (when you are lonely, you will want soda)

15. An egg goes to the teahouse for tea. What happened afterwards? = => It turned out to be a tea egg.

16. There is a male deer. He walks faster and faster. What happened in the end? = => It became an expressway.