Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - What social topics does Xian Lang usually talk about?

What social topics does Xian Lang usually talk about?

The No. 1 decision: buying a house

What does buying a house mean? It means you have a house of your own. Yes, you think so, but in China you cannot own this house, it is just rented to you. Because the house is yours, but the land is not yours. You only have the right to use the land for 70 years (70 years from now, it was during the Anti-Japanese War. Who has seen the house at that time?). Usually, a house will be demolished or renovated after about 30 years. In other words, you spend money on buying a house, but you can only get the actual effect of renting a house. Of course this is not the worst. The worst thing is, decades later you find out you were fooled! A group of gangsters stormed into the house you bought with your life savings and painted a big sign on it! Then you treat all your belongings like rubbish and still go out, regardless of your pleas, and even give you a bad reputation in the newspaper. When the public insults you, you will know what despair is!

A famous joke describing China’s real estate goes like this:

In the past, there was a landlord who owned a lot of land and hired many long-term workers to work on it. The landlord built a building for the long-term workers. A group of people lived in Tuanjie Building. One day, the landlord's counselor said to the landlord: Boss, the long-term workers have a little money in recent years. It is not cost-effective for them to live in your house and pay rent every month. Anyway, they will live here forever. , you might as well sell your house to them and call it public housing for sale! Telling them that the house belongs to them forever and they can get back the money they have saved over the past few years, the landlord said: Yes, but what about the rent? The counselor said: Just accept it and give it a Japanese name, property fee! The landlord quickly implemented it and made a lot of money. The long-term workers were so happy!

After a few years, the landlord’s village developed into a town. There were more and more wealthy people and there was no place to live. The counselor said to the landlord: Boss, the long-term workers have become rich again in recent years. , we built them new houses and called it old city reconstruction. They gave us the money they had, and we demolished the houses and built new ones, asking them to buy them back. They could build more and sell them to others. The landlords implemented it again. , this time, some long-term workers were unhappy. The landlord's servants were put to use, and the long-term workers had to swallow their teeth. The landlord made a lot of money again.

A few years later, the landlord’s village developed into a big city, with more wealthy people and the landlord’s land becoming more valuable. The counselor said to the landlord: Boss, let’s demolish the houses of these long-term workers. Now, you can build villas in this place, build houses on the demolished land and sell it to the rich people, and you can still make a fortune. The landlord said: What will happen if the long-term workers don't work? The counselor said: Let's give them more money and call it monetized resettlement. Let's build a house next to our pigsty and call it affordable housing. We will build a carriageway for them to buy a house there. Housing, the landlord said: What if they don’t have enough money? The counselor said: I borrowed it from our bank and gave it to them, with an interest of 6 cents a year. We can still make money with this money, and there is no risk. The landlord has implemented it again, and the long-term workers have received the money. The landlord’s affordable housing has not been available until now. After building a house, the long-term workers had to queue up to wait for the house. Until now, they are still waiting...

So the long-term workers started to make trouble. The landowner was a little panicked and asked the counselor what to do? The counselor said: quickly inform the long-term workers that the house price is going to drop. Don’t buy it. Let’s rent a house. We can rent our pigsty to them. As a result, after so many years, the long-term workers have lost all their money and are still renting a house. Forever!

Although this joke is a bit exaggerated, is it actually true? Some people say that is the case? Why do Chinese people still buy houses? Buy like crazy? Why? It’s not the result of education that keeps the people ignorant. Just like in the 1960s, it was advocated that people must buy three major items: watches, sewing machines, and bicycles to be considered successful before they can marry. In the 1970s, it was advocated that people must buy the four new major items: TVs, refrigerators, washing machines, and installing telephones was just like getting ahead and marrying and having children. I remember that installing telephones in those days cost several thousand yuan (in a small town with a per capita income of less than 200 yuan). ), and when there were tens of thousands of units in Beijing and Shanghai, you still had to queue up to buy an account and get favors. How is it similar to buying a house today?

And today all the bullshit scholars have started the same old trick of fooling the people: the new standard for white-collar workers, the new choice of successful people for small apartments on X Ring Road and X Ring Road, and commercial and residential types on X Ring Road X. After charging you hundreds of thousands, they still have to charge you rent (new property fees), bank interest, and various cleverly named interest rate increases, policies, etc. every month.

In short, I am not afraid that you will not be tortured to death, but I am afraid that your death will not be miserable enough! Why are ordinary people so willing to be fooled and never tire of it? I was so angry that I was wet all over!

The second biggest concern: employment

When someone finally begins to sigh: When I was an educated youth, when someone was laid off and felt that there was no way out, they could only sit in protest but no one paid attention. Being able to live on the street and have someone make up a song to laugh at the heroic life, when you have to start over again. Have you ever thought about it! They were once as prosperous as today's white-collar workers! Their income and status were once the envy of those around them? Have you ever thought about today 20 years later! Will you end up on the streets like them, betraying everyone? !

Someone said hey! Don’t you know there is unemployment insurance, pension insurance, and XX insurance? Haha, I have been wandering in Beijing for N years and paid countless insurances, probably tens of thousands. But when I was unemployed and my legs were broken, no one gave me any insurance. Instead, many insurances were frozen and they said I paid intermittently. I'm so angry... That's not all. Do you think you can really get pension insurance when you reach 60 years old? Money will not fall from the sky! We are the ones earning the pensions that today’s senior citizens receive! Today, people aged 30-40 usually have several brothers and sisters! This means that today’s elderly people can get pension insurance at the age of 60 because there are five people supporting one elderly person! When our generation grows old, one person will support the two of us! Where does the money come from? Didn't come! If you live to be 90, you will probably be able to receive some pension insurance, so take care of yourself. However, even so, parents still send their children to various enterprises, institutions and state-owned units like crazy. There are often such examples around me. A distant relative of mine from my hometown used connections to lure friends, and spent 70,000 yuan to send his son to the traffic police force through open recruitment, where he worked as a contract police officer. Get 800 yuan a month. As a result, I was dismissed from the job in the third year due to competition. The whole family was crying, and I said, just quit. You won’t be able to earn back the 70,000 yuan in that class in your lifetime, so you should go to bed first, and then collect some money to start a small business tomorrow! Maybe you can still make some money.

When I graduated, they used uncivilized language and led me to the XX department with money in hand. When I saw the virtue of the person in charge of recruiting workers, I couldn't help but feel disgusted. When I looked at the salary, the uncivilized language was used. I didn't work in vain for 10 years without food or water to recoup the cost. So I threatened the guy in private, and the fat-bellied Section Chief X was so scared that he never dared to recruit me again. I had no choice but to run away from home.

I just can’t understand? Why are the Chinese so stupid? Why are you so superstitious about Chinese characters? Wake up and think normally, okay? Is it okay to think about whether it is cost-effective before doing something?

As for those young white-collar workers, it is best to ask for a higher salary when looking for a job. Don't ask for medical insurance or other insurances. It is safest to save the money yourself so that you can use it in the future.

Third priority: education

How much is a diploma worth? How much is a diploma worth? How much is a diploma worth? The printing cost of two yuan was sky-high. How much does a teacher make? Hey, that’s enough tuition for two students for a semester! How much does it cost to print books for a class? Enough for two students! How much does it cost to rent a class room per semester? Hey, two students are enough. ! Hey! Why do you charge so much money for Chinese education? ?

Hey! People! Why should we be fooled? Because the ruling class has told us since childhood that it is glorious to be a scholar. Oh, I'm sorry, I said it wrong. It is glorious to be admitted to university. But ordinary people never think about why it is glorious? Why is it glorious... So what if a university scholar is not a waste!

Do you know who is teaching your child? In China, it is generally those who cannot adapt to society who become teachers, for example. Some time ago, because of a project, I found master students from several universities to do programming. As it turns out, there are a few people who are so stupid that they don't give you any consideration at all. They insist on you guarding them before they can work. They also give you a document that obviously has a typo, but they won't correct it. When you find out, they will challenge you whether it belongs to them or not. Wrong, what you gave is wrong. If you have no sense of responsibility, you will not consider whether you are doing things for the sake of doing things or doing things to do something well. I still reasoned with them calmly: You must learn to think for others and think about the results others want before doing things, otherwise you will not be able to survive in society. In the end, those few said: We don’t want to go out into society. Our test scores were very good and the school wants us to stay as teachers. Besides, there is nothing wrong with us in the first place. We will do whatever you want us to do. If you don’t arrange it, we won’t do it.

This is our dignity and principle. I said: If you went to guard the door and your boss didn't arrange for you to lock the warehouse when you get off work, wouldn't you just lock it? Are you disappointed? Your children will learn and grow under the guidance of such people in the future. Are you relieved?

No wonder cohabitants in college now skip classes, fight, commit suicide... But parents are still willing to spend money to send their children to school, and spend a lifetime of money.

The fourth big deal: buying a car

Are the Chinese crazy? Buy a car? Why buy a car? Of course, when you have money, you can’t spend it all. You can buy whatever you like, buy a car or a house. You can’t spend all the money no matter how high the oil price is, and you don’t feel bad if your house is to be demolished. But what about most ordinary people?

I used to have a colleague who lived in the North Second Ring Road, and his company was in Xizhimen. Taking the subway to work takes up to half an hour every day. But I had to buy a second-hand Xiali, and I started to be stuck on the road at 8 o'clock every morning, and then moved to the company little by little. Hey, parking costs a lot for a month. But people think that driving a car means you have a higher status. Not to mention driving a Xiali, even driving an Audi, I didn’t see anyone bowing to anyone. It has absolutely no effect other than making yourself look stupider than others.

Another time, I met a young girl whose monthly income was only 4,000, who was planning to get a loan to buy a car. So I asked her: Little girl, you don’t have a business, you go to work on time, and the subway is convenient, why do you buy a car? After thinking about it for a long time, I really couldn't think of any reason, so I said: Sometimes I go to the supermarket to buy things. Taking a taxi is too close and not cost-effective, and walking is too far. So I drove myself! It almost made me sick to death. Don’t you feel sick when you drive to the supermarket to buy instant noodles? Equipped with a mobile phone to pick up garbage, it is also a garbage collector! Don’t think that buying a car proves anything.

For example, I am running my own business now and am very busy. I have to travel to about 4-5 places a day and meet many customers. But I don’t buy a car, why? I can take a taxi as soon as I'm called and leave right away. I don't have to worry about having no place to park, I don't have to worry about getting stuck, or being stolen or tied up by thieves. There's always a driver no matter it's windy or rainy. If you encounter a traffic jam, you can get off the train and take the subway. It’s just over 10,000 RMB a year! Want to buy a car! The annual parking fee is more than 10,000! Isn't this stupid?

Don’t buy a car, don’t buy a car, but there are countless people going crazy and taking out loans to buy it? You must think that your death in the future will not be miserable enough! Go ahead and buy it, the interest rate will increase after you finish buying it, right? Oil prices are going crazy, right? Parking is expensive, isn’t it? Do you regret it? The price of a new car drops as soon as it hits the road and you can’t sell it anymore

I’m telling you, gas prices will still go up. The price of oil must rise to the same level as the US dollar. hey-hey! You take 1/10 of the income of the United States and support the same price of gasoline as others. I think you still have to use it.

Finally, everyone is not stupid, they have been made stupid by the education of ignorant people since childhood. It doesn't matter if you are stupid, but you should be more careful when it comes to life and death, and think more about the relationship between economic interests! Don't end up with real estate falling, oil prices rising, paying half a lifetime to get a diploma and still not being able to do anything, paying exorbitant taxes and miscellaneous taxes for decades and still getting no benefits. You will lose more than just the difference of hundreds of thousands in price.

What else could anyone say? Oh, I can't help it. I can't live anymore or buy a car. The bus is so crowded. I say it's all vanity educated by ignorant people. Look at me, renting a house costs more than 1,000 yuan a month, which is equivalent to some people’s property fees. If I want to get married, I can afford to rent a house with 3,000 to 4,000 yuan, complete with furniture and decoration. And it’s not convenient for me to live anywhere. If you don't want to move, rent long-term. It’s the same as paying property fees. It also saves a lot of money on bank loans, interest, and down payments. If you have something to do, take a taxi or take the subway. If you have nothing to do, you can take the subway. Ten thousand yuan a year is enough, and you also save a lot of garage fees, parking fees, fines, etc. I am happy that the gas price has increased to 10 yuan, and it does not delay things. I ran away before I finished college. I was studying the market, planning and running businesses while studying on my own. Couldn't I also join a foreign-funded company or a listed company as a manager? I also saved tens of thousands in tuition fees.

Of course some people will say: If you don’t even buy a house, you definitely can’t get married.

I thought to myself: I don’t have it, do you think you do? Some people say that renting a house is not cost-effective. After renting it out, it is still someone else's. Hehe, you thought that after you have paid off the loan for decades to buy a house, it will be yours...

"99% of white-collar workers in China and Their family is about to face bankruptcy. And it is inevitable! There is no escape! This thing may happen in the next 2-10 years. You can try to doubt this number. But it will definitely happen, and it is by no means alarmist." Just like I predicted that employees of China's state-owned enterprises would inevitably lose their jobs. No one believed it at the time. But it will indeed happen. Because in a developing country like China, it must continue to use inflation and reform in exchange for economic development. And The pain caused by every reform is borne by the people. Whether it is the confused educated youth who went to the mountains and countryside or the large number of laid-off workers when a large number of state-owned enterprises closed down due to reform and opening up. If they can have a certain degree of foresight , then I think they might leave a little escape route for themselves. But because they believed too much in documents and believed that life would not change suddenly, it led to the tragedy of their lives.

Some people say that the government will not sit idly by and watch. Of course the government is not willing to deal with white-collar bankruptcies. But some things... how should I put it? Think about the laid-off workers back then. It caused such a big social shock. So what can we do? Today's white-collar workers will be like that when they go bankrupt tomorrow. That's all.

Over the past 20 years of reform and opening up, China's economic development has taken off rapidly. However, the old system has not been completely changed. Various important industries still operate under a government monopoly mechanism. For example: banks, Finance, metallurgy, energy, information, transportation, medical care, education, land. In the early days of reform and opening up, it was impossible for our country to carry out comprehensive reform and opening up of these things. But today, the contradictions caused by monopoly operations have become increasingly prominent.

The first one to bear the brunt is real estate. Due to the imperfect legal system in our country, especially various mistakes in the financial and reform fields, real estate has been rising steadily. With the increase of real estate and the concentration of foreign population in big cities, so the new cities The income of migrant workers, the so-called "white-collar workers", is also increasing on the surface. In Beijing, for example, monthly salaries of 3,000-15,000 yuan can be seen everywhere. But this part of the income is mainly used to pay rent or repay loans.

In order to To deeply understand why 99% of white-collar families will go bankrupt, we must first understand why housing prices are so high? Where is the high? How is the capital moving? (White-collar workers here refer to those who buy a house or are preparing to buy a house.) and what development trends bring. Related effects. This article will explain it to you in three stages.

1: The first factor leading to the explosion in housing prices: the opening of loans under bank competition

In fact, the explosion in housing prices The main reason is that the people are paying for the mistakes made by the government. For example, a developer used to borrow 10 million from a bank to develop a house. If he could not repay it, he would be out of luck, because all banks are the same. System, if you owe money and don't pay it back, you will never have a chance to turn around. But China has made a hole in the banking reform. In order to compete among banks, ICBC, Agricultural Bank of China, China Construction Bank, etc. are all operated independently. This is a good thing. But the problem is that these banks are not private, but state-owned. It is not difficult to imagine the consequences when a developer borrows 10 million from ICBC. He only needs to use 5 million to develop houses and then sell them. If the price increases, the house under development will be mortgaged according to its selling price and borrowed another 20 million from the Agricultural Bank of China, and then 10 million of the 20 million will be used to develop a house with a higher price and seek a mortgage loan of 4000 from the China Construction Bank Wan. This is such a snowballing crazy loan model.

It doesn’t matter whether the house can be sold or not. The key is that the house price must be high and the price must not be lowered. Anyway, the bank’s money is not private, so we need to clear the way for the president. In addition, there are "legal" real estate properties with high retail prices as collateral, so it is naturally easier and easier to get loans from banks.

The result of this is that house prices can only climb but not fall! Because they cannot fall! Once the loan amount from the bank drops, it will never be recovered. This is the government's bank, and the government's money! So in order to plug this black hole of funds, some bribed experts and media began to frantically create public opinion and use various means of public opinion to intimidate. The benefits are tempting to buy a house.

For example, land resources are seriously in short supply. If you don’t buy a house, you will have to live in the suburbs. As a result, people have to buy a house. In fact, it is not possible to live in the city center. It may happen that urban residents are a process of replacing the old with the new.

Those who have to work live in the city, and the elderly prefer to live in the suburbs when they retire. As long as the population does not explode, there will be no situation where office workers cannot live in the city center. Although these public opinions have caused many people to buy houses, but only because of this, housing prices are not so high. It’s so outrageous now. Then the government made a second mistake.

2: The second mistake that led to the skyrocketing housing prices: Mortgage with Chinese characteristics

Mortgage was originally a This system is very popular in the West and is very suitable. But once this system is applied to China, there will be some problems. Because from the perspective of the larger system, all banks are state-owned, not private. Therefore, the loan barrier is not possible. It's under control. As long as the documents make sense, people can get loans.

In order to alleviate the financial black hole caused by the first mistake as soon as possible, the government began to implement a personal mortgage system to sell houses. It also often implemented What examples of American ladies and Chinese old ladies are used to tempt people to take out mortgages? Some people have indeed taken out mortgages, and they are crazy mortgages. As long as they have some "way" with the bank, they first mortgage a house worth 800,000, and then pay 100,000 themselves. They will then raise the price of the house to 1.8 million and sell it. At this time, their relatives or parents will buy it again and use a mortgage to pay a down payment of 300,000. Loan 1.5 million from the bank. Then forget about it. What if they don't repay the loan? The bank wants to take it or not. Anyway, according to the contract, if I don't pay the money, you can take the house away. We don't owe each other.

< p>So after going full circle, the houses whose prices were raised several times returned to the government and to the banks. This explains why many new buildings were bought by "real estate speculators" as soon as they started to be built. They speculated The real thing is not to bet that the house will appreciate in value, but to take the house to clean up the bank.

What will the bank do if it gets the house? It doesn’t even dare to lower the price. It has to increase the price and sell it. So ordinary people don’t even think about it now. You want to buy a house at a really reasonable price! Even if you buy the house directly from the developer, it may have changed hands several times and returned to the hands of the bank and the developer. To put it bluntly, the price is now 8,000/ For a flat house, only 2,500 is the price, and 5,500 is a financial black hole caused by wrong decision-making! In other words, you are wiping someone else's butt without complaint.

3: The third question :When will white-collar families go bankrupt?

Then we have studied why house prices will rise, and then we will study the inevitability of the so-called bankruptcy of white-collar families in Chinese cities.

First of all, the income of foreign white-collar families is indeed High, but high enough to be valuable. The so-called white-collar workers in China generally have poor quality. Chinese enterprises have serious internal conflicts. Everyone looks down on each other and everyone is stubborn. So it’s no wonder that foreign-funded enterprises began to exclaim as soon as they entered the mainland Chinese market: "In China You can't recruit people to run a business!" I also understand this deeply. Some people will say: "Since today's white-collar workers are not worth this value, then Mizuki Shuhei, can you tell me why they can still get such a salary?" In fact, , this is due to a quantum effect caused by the boom in real estate. A large amount of funds lost by banks flowed to the market through the hands of a few people. These people began to invest crazily in other fields in China. Because they themselves also knew that the real estate industry was about to collapse. They Such investment booms are rapidly digesting these funds. They invest in the Internet, high-tech, entertainment, and many more. But at least the wages they pay must be enough for employees to pay the monthly rent or monthly payment of the house. So it is The rise in housing prices has led to a relative increase in the wage level of China's urban population. If you don't believe it, you can calculate the average income of the white-collar class in your city. Once you pay the monthly rent, how much money will you have left? I think this I don’t need to be wordy about the problem. Everyone knows it. So I can say that once the real estate crashes, your salary will collapse immediately.

Many white-collar workers I know have bought houses. Their abacus is very simple: "Excluding various taxes and insurances, the couple's monthly net income is 12,000. What does it mean to pay 3,000 for a house? I can buy another one!" Yes, it is nothing. But because the house is expensive, so what? Everything is expensive. Food is expensive, transportation is expensive, tuition is expensive, and medical expenses are even more expensive!!! So after paying the rent, you will basically not be able to save a penny except for living expenses. Even if you save some, you won't be able to keep up with normal inflation. rate. The problem is that if this status quo can be maintained, in theory it should be fine. The money you have earned in the past twenty years can just make up for the losses caused by the government's two mistakes.

But the problem is also Out here. With WTO 5 years

At the end of the buffer period, a large number of foreign communications, banking, medical, insurance and other companies will gradually enter China. At that time, no one can stop you from depositing your money in Citigroup or HSBC. Who is willing to keep your money at that time? What about China’s state-owned banks with so many bad debts? No matter how much the government takes measures, there may be a run, so it’s hard to say what will happen then. But one thing is for sure, the pressure on these state-owned banks in China will change by then. It will be very huge. Loans will be even more difficult because banks have no money to lend! At the same time, the entry of a large number of foreign-funded enterprises with high-quality talents into China will definitely bring a strong impact on the market, the collapse of a large number of existing enterprises and the unemployment of white-collar workers. Also That is to say. Once foreign-funded enterprises join the competition, 99% of China's existing white-collar workers will face employment pressure in the general environment!

And once foreign-funded banks accumulate funds and start investing in real estate, since they are normal The operation process will make the houses cheaper, which will inevitably lead to a sharp decline in real estate across the country. As I just said, when housing prices fall, the salary income of your company will fall immediately! But the house you bought before The loan repayment price will not decrease or decrease, so you will not be able to pay the high loan. Then your house will be taken away by the bank, and your deposits will be directly frozen. Therefore, in the future, white-collar workers in Chinese cities are most likely to Just like the employees of China's state-owned enterprises decades ago, they worked hard for twenty years, but in the end they came up empty-handed!