English translation of a big joke

Teacher: How much is half of 8?

Student: Up and down or cross?

Teacher: What do you mean?

Student: Well, up and down is 3, and across the middle is 0!

Teacher: "How much is half of 8?"

Student: "Vertical cutting or transverse cutting?"

Teacher: "What do you mean?"

Student: "The vertical cut is 3, and the cross cut is 0!" " "

Teacher: You copied Fred's test paper, didn't you?

Student: How do you know?

Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know", but you filled in "I don't know"!

Teacher: "You copied Fred's paper in the exam, didn't you?"

Student: "How do you know?"

Teacher: "Fred's answer to a question is: I don't know, and your answer is: I don't know either!" " "

Student: My teacher is very angry with me because I don't know where the Rocky Mountains are.

Mother: well, remember where you put your things next time!

Student: "The teacher is angry with me today because I don't know where the Rocky Mountains are."

Mother: "well, next time you must remember where everything is."