Selected classic funny dialogue paragraphs

Faced with boring work, we often feel very tired when we go to work every day. Watching funny jokes at this time can effectively relieve fatigue. The following is a selection of classic funny conversations I compiled for you. I hope you will like them.

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Selected classic funny dialogue clips 1:

1, the girl said that you can be my alarm clock and wake me up every day. I said yes, I am willing to help, the girl said, what about the alarm clock? Sometimes when I don't remember, I get bored and throw it away. ......

2. After Xiaohua Mall hooked up with a puppy, he ignored the pig. Piggy couldn't figure it out, so he asked Xiaohua Mall. Look at its untidy appearance. How can you like it? Xiaohua Mall:? Hair dyeing and long hair are not popular now. Why do you still have straight hair? It looks boring! ?

3. Guanyin said to Venus:? Honey, shall we make a bet? Venus smiled. Well, what if we lose? Guanyin sneered:? Then slap in the face! ?

4, fire, parents escape, mother shouted:? Son, what are you doing with socks? What socks do you wear in case of fire? After a while, my mother got angry: Still not coming out? Son:? I'm taking off my socks. ?

Lao Zhang likes to get lost in his speech. One day, his colleagues played a joke on him. Hi! Lao Zhang, you bark like a duck and I'll let you eat watermelon. Lao Zhang: I I won't eat your watermelon! Gung! Gung! I don't bark like a duck either. ?

6. I am a low-key person. Really, I have told many people, but some people still don't believe me. I sent this message to reiterate that I am a low-key person and waste your electricity by the way.

7. The boss yelled at a new employee: Not only are you late, but you also make up excuses. Do you know how the boss lies to his employees? The clerk said unhurriedly, you know? Send him to do product sales.

8. Lao Li's wife is learning to drive, and he is not a coach on the roadside. Someone said to him, wouldn't it be better if you taught her in the car? That's true, Lao Li said, but she and her car are insured, but I'm not! ?

9. A young man didn't believe in God and asked: Can you make the world peaceful? The emperor replied: It's easy. The young man pleaded, then you must give me a ticket home, right? God is ashamed to say: Let the world be peaceful!

10, the three prisoners defended together and proved that they were coming to prison for the first time. The first one said he didn't have a car when he came in; The second said that when he came in, people were still riding horses; What does the third one say about horses?

The second paragraph of the classic funny dialogue selection:

1, Jiangsu people caught a cold and said: nose football is very good, but the blue ball still needs to be seen. Registration requires volleyball for half a day, thermometer ice hockey is still very good, and doctor water polo is very good. It is better to handball at home than to run.

2. Who is more stupid than who? She always calls me stupid. Because I always step on her feet when I dance. But I think she is more stupid than me. Eating is much easier than dancing. But she kept stepping on my foot under the table. It's still silly to think about it now.

3. Wife goes to a coffee shop to buy coffee: I want to buy the worst quality! The clerk asked inexplicably: Why do you want the worst quality? The wife replied angrily: so you can't shoddy!

Foreigners are bitten by dogs, so go to the hospital for treatment. The doctor pointed to the wound and asked, what's the matter? Foreigners don't understand Chinese? Bite? What can I say? Just explain: A dog ate it on my leg.

5. You have irresistible charm (Kym chocolate), and you are a fairy in my eyes. I am willing to follow you all my life, with no regrets, and you will be the choice of a new generation (Pepsi). Where are you going? I mean my Barbie doll, not you!

6. Xiao Wang saw a beautiful woman and followed her around to spy. I didn't expect to be found by a beautiful woman. Beauty asks: What do you want to do? Xiao Wang Xiao: Life is better because of you! Surprise everything and give it to you again and again! The beauty replied angrily: mosquitoes kill and kill.

7. I made a wish before the Buddha, hoping to find my good luck as soon as possible. Who knows the Buddha said: a hundred years of harmony has long been arranged! I said: I have already arranged it, so how can I be late? Buddha said: What will happen to the world if human beings lose association? God, my marriage is in my imagination! Dizzy!

8. Holding you in your hand, feeling? Is it creamy and silky? I have been exercising with you for a long time, and the sweat is all on you? Drips are fragrant, but the meaning is still unfinished? , send it out? It is delicious. What are you thinking about? I said socks. Your smelly feet will only smoke away everyone.

9. "Outside the examination room, a candidate asked a classmate next to him:? Hey, man, how was the exam? Answer:? Cool! (Sprite drink)? Hui: The road to success starts from scratch. (Rejoice shampoo) "

10, don't ask me why I sent you a message. It's too hot. I say hello to you. Do you need a reason? Uh-huh, it's good to be hello and send a greeting message. You deserve it.

Select the third paragraph of the classic funny dialogue:

1. My brother is a tiger. On the occasion of the Year of the Ox, he said happily to his family. I am finally awesome! ? Grandma asked why, and he said seriously: My classmate is one year older than me. 12 years old is a cow. I am a cow when I grow to 12 years old this year! ?

2. One day I was singing "The Big Sedan". Give me a hug, give me a hug, give me a hug, give that sister a flower? My neighbor's five-year-old brother said, Sister, you are wrong. It should be: hug, hug and sleep with that sister. ?

When a thief grabbed a girl's necklace, the girl grabbed the man by the collar and tried to stop him. Afterwards, the girl described to the police that the necklace he robbed was fake. I caught his real gold necklace.

4. A couple went to a restaurant for dinner. When a woman sees that all her favorite dishes on the menu are in the high-end column, she asks: How much do you love me? My boyfriend looked at the menu and said, it's more than corned beef, but it's not grilled lobster!

5. After receiving the report, the Price Bureau went to the bathroom opened by Baozi: Baozi, and jiaozi also opened a noodle bathroom. Why is your price so high? The steamed stuffed bun said aggrieved: they are all ordinary bathrooms, but my family has a steam sauna!

In a traffic accident, two cars collided head-on. One of the drivers shouted angrily, are you blind? Unwilling to be humiliated, another driver retorted, Who said that? I thought I ran into you.

7. A friend said to the patient who had just finished the operation: How are you? Patient: Not bad, but I took out a piece of gauze from my stomach the next day after operation, and I opened it yesterday and took out a racket. Suddenly a nurse asked, "Where is my hat?"

One day, Xiaogang came to the food stall he frequented and saw a kind of food similar to the old lady's cake. But he didn't dare to confirm, so he timidly asked the waiter, Aunt, is this the little old lady's cake?

9. A: My wife finished reading Brothers and gave birth to twins. B: My wife went to three musketeers and gave birth to triplets. C: Well, my wife is watching Alibaba and the Forty Thieves.

10. When a designer designed a building with a round room, people asked him what inspired him to do this design. ? When I was a child, I was often punished in the corner. ? The great architect said frankly.

Selected classic funny dialogues Paragraph 4:

1. One day, I went to a friend's house in the countryside to be a guest, just in time for the sow to give birth, and more than a dozen piglets were nursing around the sow. My son was surprised and asked me, Dad, why do sows have so many nipples and why do mothers only have two?

My nephew wants to keep everything he saw. One day, I made fun of him What school do you want to go to? Reply:? I went to two universities, one in Tsinghua and the other in Peking University! ? Alexander!

3. When I was a child, I bought flowers and birds calligraphy and painting with my mother. The painter said: I sell handicrafts, and this drawing paper is free. ? I said:? Great, uncle, bring me ten pieces of drawing paper. ?

One day, I read my son's homework. What is the content of the homework? Like dad? The sentence, written by the son, is: Dad is as fat as a pig. I asked my son why he wrote this. The son asked, don't you like it?

5. The baby asked his mother:? Why does the sky thunder, and I am afraid? Mom said:? That's because the child is disobedient and God is angry. ? Baby:? Then I'm angry, too Why doesn't it thunder?

6. I told my baby the story of Kong Rong Jean Pear, and then I asked him? Baby, do you think Kong Rong is a good boy? The baby curled his lips and said? What's wrong with silly boy? ? I

7. I usually use mousse to arrange my hair before going to work. The son saw it and asked, Dad, what are the benefits of Mu Si? I casually replied: nice. After coming back from work, my son happily said to me: Dad, I have made our puppy look good. As soon as I saw it, the pet dog turned into a monster.

8. My son had a hard time walking when he saw that old lady with foot binding. He asked curiously: Why do you want to bind your feet? Grandma said: the old society was like this. The kind son gave his grandmother a trick: Grandma, it will be fast for you to put on your skates and walk in the future.

9. My wife used a new perfume. After the husband got off work, the wife said excitedly, smell it quickly. What's the different taste today? I didn't expect my husband to rush into the kitchen at once: Did you make my favorite braised pork ribs today?

10, a woman went for breast augmentation surgery and asked the doctor how much it cost. The doctor said, 2700 yuan. The woman asked: What about I only do one side? The doctor said at once, 900 yuan. The woman doesn't understand: why do you charge like this? Doctor: full of twists and turns!

Selected classic funny dialogues, paragraph 5:

1, my husband is going to repair his mobile phone, and my wife reminds me: don't forget to bring the invoice, warranty and charger. In his wife's nagging, the husband found everything before going out. When I arrived at the maintenance department, I found that I didn't bring my broken mobile phone.

2. The hospital hung a transfusion bottle, and the nurse inserted a transfusion bottle for the man. 1 more hours passed, the infusion bottle was finished, and the nurse came over and made another bottle. The man asked, nurse, didn't you just open a bottle? The nurse pointed to the empty bottle cap after drinking salt water and said that this bottle won the prize. Let's have another bottle!

My screen name is Cowherd and yours is Weaver Girl. Every night, one of us is on this side of the phone line and the other is on the other side of the phone line, but I want to say that this is much better than the Milky Way!

4. A teacher taught inspirational cheats and said that he should bring a small mirror when reading books in the future. When he can't stand reading, he will take a look at himself in the mirror and say to himself: I have grown up like this, but I still can't read well!

Xiaoming and his mother won the prize in shopping at the mall and went to the counter to receive the prize. The winner asked for nine dollars or an apple. Xiaoming's mother took it for granted that she wanted money and said she wanted nine dollars. So the man began to cut the apple into nine pieces.

6. The panda showed his love to the kangaroo affectionately, but the kangaroo refused. Panda doesn't understand. Why? Kangaroo patiently replied: I like people who live a regular life and don't like each other staying up late every day. ......

7. Gray grabbed Meiyangyang too hard and got pregnant. Hongtaro was very angry when he learned about it. He slapped the ash with a pan. Grey is too cruel and wronged to say: Honey, I just want you to eat one more lamb. ?

8. The dog said to the pig: It is better to be a dog and never get the flu. Pig said: Look at your worthless appearance. You'll never make the Forbes Animal List, so you'll be a paparazzi, or at most a presidential bodyguard.

9, the tortoise joke weasel said:? If you sneak around, you will cheat. ? The weasel said, you'd better mind your own business! Wearing a green hat and laughing at others all day. ?

10, the zoo held a model contest, and the cobra won the first place. The elephant said unconvinced. I am so plump and you are so thin, which is less than one fifth of mine. I refuse to accept it. ? Cobra:? Dude, you're out. I wonder if skinny beauty is popular in society now?

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